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View Full Version : Got Nailed In The Ass..First Time Painful.



Creek
02-17-2007, 11:33 PM
A couple months back..I was making some kindle for the wood stove.

I had a little spot picked out..that was in a small patch of trees.It was out of the wind...and a spot that could of been used for hanky panky as well.

I should of seen it coming.

It was a cold morning..so I was wearing two sets of sweat pants,long johns..and heavy duty canvas snow bibs...No..I wasn't wearing any undies.With that much crap on who needs to...auuugh..:(

This was kindle..I was using a hatchet to do the job...Plus had a little stump..that was about 6 inches high...So I had to crouch..No big deal...my legs don't "creek" anymore anyways...My joints feel shot..but that's another story.

Some asshole...for some reason pounded a rusty ass nail that was about 1 3/4th feet up a Birch Tree from the ground...I've tried to put reason to why...but still short on ideas/conclusions...The odds of this was like steping on a nail board on Mars soon as you put your first foot down.

My ass caught that thing on the way up..and to put it in words so all can understand, felt like what a fresh water crappie would go trough with a size #4 hook...with a barb that was more surgical than what most hospitals would have on hand...Ooh man.

The multi-layers of clothing prevented this dam nail from tearing into my ass...but looked as though I was freshly bit by a rattle snake...whoopdi doo....But in a matter of hours..it also swelled up as bit by a rattler.

I wanted to blame somebody for what happened....that's how much it hurt..:(

I can't say I had to cancel the Paris String Undies Show I was suppose to be in..but will advocate here at Jim's new board that the first time geting nailed in the ass is not a whole lot of fun...Maybe I'm the last Virgin here..so I'm crying wolf....(laughing)..:)

No..it didn't get me in the butt hole...I wouldn't be here today if it was..I would still be stuck froze to that tree...If it's gona be your first time boys...don't use a nail....:)

The Return Of Billy Jack....:)

stephanie
02-17-2007, 11:52 PM
:eek:

I hope your ass gets well....

Hey, they should make that into a Hallmark card....

I can see it now....
How's your ass
I miss your ass
I can't wait to see your ass again...
Sorry to hear about your ass



:lmao:

stephanie
02-18-2007, 12:00 AM
Sorry Creek...
I went off on a tangent...
I know that must of hurt, but I was also laughing my ass off reading it...

I didn't mean to make light of your ass...

I hope it feels better soon...

:laugh2:

Roopull
02-18-2007, 09:07 AM
Similar thing happened to me, but while installing a powered attic fan. I was half sitting on a support beam that ran from the ceiling joists to the roof... it sat at about a 35 degree angle. Anyhoo, while working on the fan, I guess I slowly slid down that beam. In the process, a piece of that beam slid through my jeans & into my butt cheek. I didn't feel the pain until that thing was buried a good two inches in my backside. When I did feel it, I couldn't figure out how to free myself. Pulling in the opposite direction hurt like hell & my jeans were snagged on the shard of wood (at the end connected to the beam, it was several inches wide.)

Eventually, I cut through it with my pocket knife & made use of the homeowner's bathroom to remove the chunk of wood from my ass & jeans. Lots of blood... gross...

Creek
02-18-2007, 12:44 PM
Geeeeze...Roopull...MAN!!

To have witnessed that would of been like watching John Rambo sew himself up after that tree gashed his arm...Dam.

It's a weird part on the body to get injured no doubt...What you went through...deserves a Purple Heart...:)

Thanks Stephanie...It's all better now..My butt cheek was swollen for a few days...almost like the size of one of your ears...(giggle).

I bet your safe cracking abilities are amazing..:)

:)