PDA

View Full Version : When nothing else is important



gabosaurus
01-24-2008, 12:30 PM
I am currently taking part in a required section of crisis and grief counseling. The preparation work is quite stressful and sobering. But nothing prepares you adequately for the real thing.

I've been here for a while, arguing political stances and the whole liberal vs. conservative things. I have taken shots at DP members, and taken them back. Sometimes seriously, sometimes not. I am sure everyone is quite serious and dedicated in their beliefs. As I am.

Then I go in a room by myself and try to explain to a 14-year-old girl why her mom just killed herself.
This is a kid already without a father. Who lives in some slimy hovel with a troubled mom. She is basically a kid trying to take care of a parent. One night, your mom seems OK. She releases you from the normal nightly grind of chores and homework and sends you over to watch TV and play games with friends.
A couple of hours later, a police officer shows up. Sorry kid, your mom is dead. We know you don't understand. Here is an adult who is going to try to help you deal.

I promise that you will never look at things the same way again.

darin
01-24-2008, 12:33 PM
That's rough. That's crazy. Things like that sure put other things into perspective eh?

:-/

Yurt
01-24-2008, 12:34 PM
I am currently taking part in a required section of crisis and grief counseling. The preparation work is quite stressful and sobering. But nothing prepares you adequately for the real thing.

I've been here for a while, arguing political stances and the whole liberal vs. conservative things. I have taken shots at DP members, and taken them back. Sometimes seriously, sometimes not. I am sure everyone is quite serious and dedicated in their beliefs. As I am.

Then I go in a room by myself and try to explain to a 14-year-old girl why her mom just killed herself.
This is a kid already without a father. Who lives in some slimy hovel with a troubled mom. She is basically a kid trying to take care of a parent. One night, your mom seems OK. She releases you from the normal nightly grind of chores and homework and sends you over to watch TV and play games with friends.
A couple of hours later, a police officer shows up. Sorry kid, your mom is dead. We know you don't understand. Here is an adult who is going to try to help you deal.

I promise that you will never look at things the same way again.

Sometimes, unfortunately this is true. How many times have we had to go through it "ourselves" in order to truly understand something, advice from a parent, friend, or a warning....

I think you are doing good by coming here and discussing/sharing your beliefs, giving and getting. A well rounded view and understanding can only serve to strengthen who you are and make you better able to help that young girl.

gabosaurus
01-24-2008, 12:37 PM
I hope I did a half-way decent job. I spent 20 minutes talking to her and the rest of the night thinking about it.

Yurt
01-24-2008, 12:45 PM
I hope I did a half-way decent job. I spent 20 minutes talking to her and the rest of the night thinking about it.

do you think sometimes our current civilization is a bit soft hearted? in that, we place way to much emphasis on the so called "emotions" and not enough on simply overcoming and being strong for life. i ask because i too have been in some tough spots and have had very, very close friends who have been ..... well.... and i never quite knew what the "right" answer was/is. rightly or wrongly, i tended to stay away from too much emotion and focus on strength and perseverence. i don't think there is a right way.

dan
01-24-2008, 12:53 PM
That's tough, gab, but God (or whoever) bless you for doing it, you've got more personal strength than I ever will.

The fact that you thought about it all night says lots for you. The time to start worrying is when you don't think about it at all, it's just a job that you wash yourself of when you get home. I don't understand how people do that.

Abbey Marie
01-24-2008, 03:10 PM
Just hearing about her makes me wish I could give her a big hug and tell her everything will be all right. I hope she has a relative or friend who can step up and help her out.

Dilloduck
01-24-2008, 08:57 PM
I am currently taking part in a required section of crisis and grief counseling. The preparation work is quite stressful and sobering. But nothing prepares you adequately for the real thing.

I've been here for a while, arguing political stances and the whole liberal vs. conservative things. I have taken shots at DP members, and taken them back. Sometimes seriously, sometimes not. I am sure everyone is quite serious and dedicated in their beliefs. As I am.

Then I go in a room by myself and try to explain to a 14-year-old girl why her mom just killed herself.
This is a kid already without a father. Who lives in some slimy hovel with a troubled mom. She is basically a kid trying to take care of a parent. One night, your mom seems OK. She releases you from the normal nightly grind of chores and homework and sends you over to watch TV and play games with friends.
A couple of hours later, a police officer shows up. Sorry kid, your mom is dead. We know you don't understand. Here is an adult who is going to try to help you deal.

I promise that you will never look at things the same way again.

I've done it for several years in different capacities. From the long term and expected to sudden trauma of a childs death. If anything will cause you to reflect on your life and the lives of those around you, that will. I'm glad you were there to comfort and learn. Just the fact that you were willing to be there was critical and she will remember.