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Trinity
03-12-2008, 05:05 PM
Ok so I have a rough draft done on my argumentative essay for my English class that i absolutely hate but I have to do it. Would you please read it and give me feed back. Should I change anything, add more, or take things out?




Most sex offenders are not as big of a threat as people think. Politicians and the media have turned this major issue into an all out witch hunt, most sex offenders don’t belong in. The state of Ohio has incorporated new laws into the constitution such as sex offenders are not allowed to live within so many feet of schools, parks, and day care centers and they are portraying that these new laws will help protect children. The state of Ohio is also trying to pass a bill that all sex offenders will have a green license plate on their vehicles so that they are easily spotted. They claim that the national sex offender registration will help to make the public aware and keep children safe be displaying the sex offender’s photo, personal information, place of employment and the vehicles that they drive on the website. The state of Ohio is also restructuring the classification on these sex offenders which may put some of them that are not a risk into a higher classification, and some of them who are a high risk would be put into a lower classification. I am going to tell you why these methods and new laws will not work.


Sex offenders not being allowed to live within 1000 feet of a school, daycare center, or park is not going to stop a sex offender from visiting those areas, it only stops them from living there. If we start restricting where they live we are going to start having more of them not registering and we will lose track of them. “Random stranger attacks on children grab headlines but account for only about 10 percent of sexual assaults on kids, according to the Department of Justice. Only about 100 of 60,000 annual sex assault reports involve abduction by a stranger.” (Gatehouse Media, 2007, para. 27) Most sexual assaults on children are committed by family members, friends of the family, and people your children know.


The state of Ohio is trying to pass a bill that would force sex offenders to have fluorescent green license plates on every vehicle they own. How is this going to prevent someone from committing a sex crime? The simple answer it’s not. If a sex offender is intending to commit a sex crime, it will not matter what color his license plates are, he will find a way to get around it. This is just a new way to publicly humiliate and shame these sex offenders. However they are not the only ones, their families and loved ones will also be subject to this as well. You then make the sex offender and their family a target for the vigilante mentality.


The sex offender registry this is a good one. Granted if used correctly by the state and only list the most dangerous sex offenders on this website it might be a useful tool for parent’s to use to educate them about where the sexual predators are located at in their neighborhoods. At this time it lists everyone ever committed of a sex crime since the registry started. What’s the problem with this? Some sex crimes are more severe then others. You have pedophiles who have been convicted of molesting children under the age of 12 on there, along with Romeo and Juliet cases, which consist of someone who is say 18 or 19 that had a 15 or 16 year old girlfriend. The parent’s got mad and pressed charges and now this person is a sex offender for the rest of their life. You also have people listed on here that were convicted of indecent exposure. Being a parent I am more concerned with the predators then I am the Romeo and Juliet cases and indecent exposure. How then as a parent do you know what these people where convicted of? Unless you go to the courthouse website and review the information on the case it is quite difficult to decipher between the different cases.


“The high recidivism rate among sex offenders is repeated so often that it is accepted as truth, but in fact recent studies show that the recidivism rates for sex offenses is not unusually high. According to a U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics study (“Recidivism of Sex Offenders Released from Prison in 1994”), just five percent of sex offenders followed for three years after their release from prison in 1994 were arrested for another sex crime. A study released in 2003 by the Bureau of Justice Statistics found that within three years, 3.3 percent of the released child molesters were arrested again for committing another sex crime against a child. Three to five percent is hardly a high repeat offender rate.” (Benjamin Radford, 2006)


Ohio is one of the first states to pass legislation to comply with the Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act, a set of federal laws that stiffens registration requirements for convicted sex offenders. The act mandates that all states uniformly register sex offenders and place them into a national registry by 2009. It was billed as a way to prevent people who commit sex crimes from slipping thought the cracks and committing other offenses. Being in the fore front of the movement has landed Ohio court’s in the middle of constitutional arguments over retroactively classifying some offenders – often with harsher penalties – without a court hearing. It would also put a strain on Sheriffs offices, who could see a 60 percent increase in their workload as they scramble – with no extra money for personal – to register thousands of new sex offenders who now have to check in every 90 days. Ohio Attorney general Marc Dann campaigned on the promise that he would implement the act. And its implementation put the state in line to receive an increase of up to 10 percent in federal grants used to fight crime, said Erin Rosen, a senior assistant in the office. But opponents say the act will cost the taxpayers far more to put into practice and defend in court. It is an assertion Dann’s office did not dispute. (Rachael Dissel & Gabriel Baird, 2008). The problem with this law is they will then be reclassifying people by the crime they committed instead of classifying them based on the rate of them re offending. This new law will put some offenders who are Predators in a lower classification and low risk offenders in a higher classification.


The problem with all of this is most of these laws are feel good laws, and really don’t prevent or deter someone from committing or re committing a sex crime. If someone is intending to molest a child they will find a way to do it. It does not matter where they live. Most predators will travel to other locations to find a child for fear they will be recognized in their own community.


The license plates won’t deter it either they will find a way around it if they are that intent on committing another sex crime.


The sex registry is a waste of time, trying to decipher who is in fact a real threat. Why don’t we have registries for murderers and other’s who have been convicted of a violent crime? I know I would prefer to know if I have a murderer or a burglar living next door to me, then a sex offender who was convicted of having sex with his girlfriend, who was 4 years younger then him. The chances of that sex offender re offending are slim to none.


As for the reclassification it’s going to bring more problems then it solves. There is already a class action lawsuit filed against the state of Ohio why? Because you can not retro activate a law, it is unconstitutional.


So what’s a parent to do? Educate your children. Teach them the difference between good touch and bad touch, and to react to their gut instinct. If something feels wrong, it probably is. Knowledge is power.







References
Rachael Dissel, & Gabriel Baird. (2008, January 21). Ohio tougher sex offender law being met with lawsuits, confusion. The Plain Dealer, p. 1. Retrieved March 08, 2008, from www.cleveland.com Web site: http://www.cleveland.com/news/plaindealer/index.ssf?/base/cuyahoga1200908062284070.xml&coll=2
Benjamin Radford. (2006). Predator Panic. In Skeptical Inquirer (p. 1).. Retrieved March 08, 2008, from Skeptical Inquirer Web site: http://csicop.org/si/2006-05panic.html
Gatehouse Media, Inc. (2007, September 04). Crime figures show sex offender laws don't work. The Observer Dispatch. Retrieved March 08, 2008, from www.UTICaOD.com Web site: http://www.uticaod.com/sexoffenders/x225123864

diuretic
03-12-2008, 08:20 PM
Have a look at labeling theory in criminology.

Trinity
03-12-2008, 08:25 PM
Have a look at labeling theory in criminology.

Nice.... I think I might have to add that.

Said1
03-12-2008, 08:55 PM
What type of critique are you looking for? There are some structural changes that make make it better.

Yurt
03-12-2008, 09:03 PM
pretty good. like said1 "said" what kind of changes? there is passive voice, and some places where "they" needs to be defined. when i edit or get edited, i use the redline method on word.

hjmick
03-12-2008, 09:10 PM
Where's Dan? Doesn't he edit shit?

JohnDoe
03-12-2008, 09:13 PM
I'd outline an essay taking the other side's point of view and make certain you have addressed all of what that side may think they have in their favor in your piece.

There are some typos and gramatical corrections that were evident, though small ones that a MS Word program could correct.

Also, I got the feeling of choppiness... maybe you need to combine some of your sentences and strenthen the good points you have made?

outside of this, I personally think you have made some very valid points on the subject, just some minor refining and the double checking that you covered all of the "other sides" concerns.

jd

5stringJeff
03-12-2008, 10:11 PM
Doesn't he edit shit?

Or worse, he doesn't edit shit. :)

Trinity
03-13-2008, 05:57 AM
Thanks Guys!

I was looking for feed back to determine if it reads ok, or if I should change some things.