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Kathianne
03-21-2008, 11:07 AM
http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/

:laugh2:


#90 Dinner Parties

Though many would have you believe that white people come of age at Summer Camp, it’s simply not the truth. Immediately following graduation but prior to renovating a house, white people take their first step from childhood to maturity by hosting a successful dinner party.

It is imperative that white people know how to host a good dinner party as they will be expected to do it well into retirement.

At the most basic level, these simple gatherings involve 3-6 couples getting together at a single house or apartment and having dinner and talking for 5-6 hours. Though it might seem basic, these events are some of the most stressful situations in all of white culture.

Hosts are expected to deliver a magical evening. The food must be home made with fresh, organic ingredients, the music must be just right (ambient, new, but not too loud), and the decorations inside the house should be subtle but elegant. The ultimate goal is to do a better job than the couple at the last dinner party, and attempt to make everyone jealous and sort of dislike you.

The dinner party is the opportunity for white people to be judged on their taste in food, wine, furniture, art, interior design, music, and books. Outside of dictatorships and a few murder trials, there might not be a more rigorous judgment process in the modern world. Everything must be perfect. One copy of US Weekly, a McDonalds wrapper, a book by John Grisham, a Third Eye Blind CD, or an Old School DVD can undo months and maybe even years of work.Though many would have you believe that white people come of age at Summer Camp, it’s simply not the truth. Immediately following graduation but prior to renovating a house, white people take their first step from childhood to maturity by hosting a successful dinner party.

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Hagbard Celine
03-21-2008, 11:21 AM
I love this blog. I read it every day.

Kathianne
03-21-2008, 11:24 AM
I love this blog. I read it every day.

Cracked me up. I love the 't-shirt' posts.

Abbey Marie
03-21-2008, 02:57 PM
I think he summed up the social pressure cooker known as the dinner party quite well. I never feel as scared and inadequate as I do when cooking for guests. Though the decor, wine, etc., are not a problem.

And the cleaning beforehand could kill me!

Kathianne
03-21-2008, 03:04 PM
I think he summed up the social pressure cooker known as the dinner party quite well. I never feel as scared and inadequate as I do when cooking for guests. Though the decor, wine, etc., are not a problem.

And the cleaning beforehand could kill me!
:laugh2: and me's having 8 for Easter, considering my diet, could be interesting, indeed.

Hey Abbey, I'm off today. did an hour and a half walk, 6 miles. ;) Went swimming for 45 minutes. Wish me luck at the doc tomorrow.

Abbey Marie
03-21-2008, 03:15 PM
:laugh2: and me's having 8 for Easter, considering my diet, could be interesting, indeed.

Hey Abbey, I'm off today. did an hour and a half walk, 6 miles. ;) Went swimming for 45 minutes. Wish me luck at the doc tomorrow.

It sounds like you'll do great! Let us know.

Gaffer
03-27-2008, 11:26 AM
I been doing it all wrong all these years. Here the food remains on the stove and everyone grabs a paper plate and serves themselves. First ones to get their food get to sit at the table. Everyone else gets to stand at the counter or find a spot in the living room while watching the kids play guitar hero. That's a dinner party at my white people house.

Classact
03-27-2008, 11:58 AM
I been doing it all wrong all these years. Here the food remains on the stove and everyone grabs a paper plate and serves themselves. First ones to get their food get to sit at the table. Everyone else gets to stand at the counter or find a spot in the living room while watching the kids play guitar hero. That's a dinner party at my white people house.That's funny to me. Years ago I embarrassed myself at my fishing buddy's home, we had been deep sea fishing and had cleaned up at his beach house (a trailer in a swamp)... we were cleaned up and no fish smell on us or anything... anyway we towed the boat back to his house and his wife had fixed us some food but there wasn't enough space at his breakfast bar for all of us to sit as we ate and I said, why don't we go over to the dining room where we can all sit down? There was a long moment of silence as he and his wife shared glances and glares... He said, that isn't allowed... Me being a little slow I asked why? Silence resulted me turning into a babbling idiot and I asked why again, and added what do you have a dining room for? He answered after some thought that it was for "special occasions". I answered this "is" a special occasion, we are your best friends and there isn't enough room for all of us to sit down. As his face turned red he answered, the wife only likes to use it for formal dinner, it's off limits. Just at that moment I laughed and dropped part of my sandwich on the floor, but not missing a beat said, oh, like when the Governor or the President swings by? How awkward.

Pale Rider
03-27-2008, 12:47 PM
The ultimate goal is to do a better job than the couple at the last dinner party, and attempt to make everyone jealous and sort of dislike you.

Hmmm... I guess my brand of a dinner party is a keg of beer, a grill with burgers and hotdogs on it with chips and beens and such to go with it on paper plates with plastic forks. If they don't get jealous of that, maybe they will of my two and half acres of land they're on, or the awesome Harley in the three car garage, or the snowmoble, or the boat, or the four wheeler, or the RV....... :laugh: