red states rule
09-29-2008, 06:41 AM
Got this is an email
Dear Abby:
My boyfriend just asked me to marry him. He is handsome and charming and my friends and parents have really taken a liking to the guy.
But many things about his character strike me as peculiar and just don't sit right with me. Here are some examples:
I have one more semester of college left and he wants me to just drop out. He claims that my major is stupid (criminal justice) and I have wasted too much money already and should not have gone to college in the first place. He says the money saved from the last semester could be used elsewhere. If I just finish I will have that degree for the rest of my life.
On my late grandmother's birthday, we took some flowers to the cemetery. I laid the flowers on her grave and preceded to say a prayer, but my boyfriend tossed them on the grave and was ready to go. My parents were so happy that he went with me to the cemetery, although I could tell that he really did not want to be there.
My grandfather lives in a bad neighborhood. He has a gun hidden for his own protection. Unbeknownst to my grandfather, my boyfriend actually took the gun. If my grandfather ever needs to use it, he won't even have it.
My parents were also happy when they found out he was a church going man. I started going to his church and was shocked to hear the language that came out of the preacher. It even seems as if the preacher hates Amercia. I don't want to go to that church anymore, but my boyfriend really adores the preacher. He is like an uncle to my boyfriend.
I asked him about his childhood friends and he doesn't have any. He does have a few friends here in the neighborhood, but they all seem to be in trouble with the law. He claims that they are not the person he once knew. Should I be worried?
He is always telling me how bad my life was before I met him and that he changed it for the better. He said that if we ever break up, then my life will be terrible. I was getting along fine before I met him. Suddenly he feels he is my savior.
When we have an argument, and I remind him of something that he said, he claims that he never said it. (and I know what I heard) Then many times when we argue, he tells me that he has told me something many times over again when actually I have never heard him say it EVER. I think he is playing mind games with me.
He is a salesman and he uses his charm to get the naive ones to buy his product knowing that they cannot afford to have his product. They think he is wonderful. His bosses think he is wonderful, but all he is interested in is getting the promotion and he doesn't care about the people that he is using.
When I talk about our future, I use the word "we", but when he talks about the future, he uses the word "I". Is this an ego thing?
Although he gets along with everyone, he doesn't like my brother in the military. I don't know why. I try to get him to come with me to visit my brother, but he comes up with some excuse to avoid meeting him. (usually to work out at the gym)
He goes to charity events and announces that he is going to donate money, but then he asks me to get out MY checkbook and write the check. I write the check and he gets all the glory. Doesn't seem very fair.
He likes when I go with him to parties because I remember peoples names and know facts about them. He would be lost without me. For example, I may whisper to him: "That's Mrs. Jopek, her son was killed in a roadside bomb." and then she is flattered when he appears to remember her. Abby, I feel like a teleprompter.
We went to a party in Pennsylvania and he was the nicest person to people's faces, but once their backs were turned, he belittled them and made fun of them.
The neighbor's dog had puppies, and for some reason the mother dog tried killing all the puppies. Luckily, one of the puppies survived but later we found out that my boyfriend drowned the puppy claiming that he was just finishing the job that the mother started. Should I be worried?
He actually text messaged an old girlfriend at 3am just to let her know that he has moved on. What was the point of that?
Here is my question Abby: Are all these events actually warning signs and should I drop him like a hot potato, or should I accept his proposal and hope that things change?
Sincerely,
Michelle
P.S. Please respond soon because that preacher's sermons are starting to rub off on me.
How would you answer Michelle's letter?
Dear Abby:
My boyfriend just asked me to marry him. He is handsome and charming and my friends and parents have really taken a liking to the guy.
But many things about his character strike me as peculiar and just don't sit right with me. Here are some examples:
I have one more semester of college left and he wants me to just drop out. He claims that my major is stupid (criminal justice) and I have wasted too much money already and should not have gone to college in the first place. He says the money saved from the last semester could be used elsewhere. If I just finish I will have that degree for the rest of my life.
On my late grandmother's birthday, we took some flowers to the cemetery. I laid the flowers on her grave and preceded to say a prayer, but my boyfriend tossed them on the grave and was ready to go. My parents were so happy that he went with me to the cemetery, although I could tell that he really did not want to be there.
My grandfather lives in a bad neighborhood. He has a gun hidden for his own protection. Unbeknownst to my grandfather, my boyfriend actually took the gun. If my grandfather ever needs to use it, he won't even have it.
My parents were also happy when they found out he was a church going man. I started going to his church and was shocked to hear the language that came out of the preacher. It even seems as if the preacher hates Amercia. I don't want to go to that church anymore, but my boyfriend really adores the preacher. He is like an uncle to my boyfriend.
I asked him about his childhood friends and he doesn't have any. He does have a few friends here in the neighborhood, but they all seem to be in trouble with the law. He claims that they are not the person he once knew. Should I be worried?
He is always telling me how bad my life was before I met him and that he changed it for the better. He said that if we ever break up, then my life will be terrible. I was getting along fine before I met him. Suddenly he feels he is my savior.
When we have an argument, and I remind him of something that he said, he claims that he never said it. (and I know what I heard) Then many times when we argue, he tells me that he has told me something many times over again when actually I have never heard him say it EVER. I think he is playing mind games with me.
He is a salesman and he uses his charm to get the naive ones to buy his product knowing that they cannot afford to have his product. They think he is wonderful. His bosses think he is wonderful, but all he is interested in is getting the promotion and he doesn't care about the people that he is using.
When I talk about our future, I use the word "we", but when he talks about the future, he uses the word "I". Is this an ego thing?
Although he gets along with everyone, he doesn't like my brother in the military. I don't know why. I try to get him to come with me to visit my brother, but he comes up with some excuse to avoid meeting him. (usually to work out at the gym)
He goes to charity events and announces that he is going to donate money, but then he asks me to get out MY checkbook and write the check. I write the check and he gets all the glory. Doesn't seem very fair.
He likes when I go with him to parties because I remember peoples names and know facts about them. He would be lost without me. For example, I may whisper to him: "That's Mrs. Jopek, her son was killed in a roadside bomb." and then she is flattered when he appears to remember her. Abby, I feel like a teleprompter.
We went to a party in Pennsylvania and he was the nicest person to people's faces, but once their backs were turned, he belittled them and made fun of them.
The neighbor's dog had puppies, and for some reason the mother dog tried killing all the puppies. Luckily, one of the puppies survived but later we found out that my boyfriend drowned the puppy claiming that he was just finishing the job that the mother started. Should I be worried?
He actually text messaged an old girlfriend at 3am just to let her know that he has moved on. What was the point of that?
Here is my question Abby: Are all these events actually warning signs and should I drop him like a hot potato, or should I accept his proposal and hope that things change?
Sincerely,
Michelle
P.S. Please respond soon because that preacher's sermons are starting to rub off on me.
How would you answer Michelle's letter?