PDA

View Full Version : Why women are crabby...



KitchenKitten99
10-06-2008, 01:47 PM
My grandma sent this to me and it was too funny not to share!

Why Women Are Crabby

We started to 'bud' in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.

Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.

Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

Then it' was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.

Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER.

Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, 'Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more good push (more like 10),' warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the %*#!* (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole.

After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that 'cute' wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

Then come their 'Teen Years.' Need I say more?
When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.

So we progress into the grand finale: 'The Menopause ,' the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned 'buds' or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.

Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men get off so easy, INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...

So, while I love being a woman, 'Womanhood' would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. Women are the 'weaker sex'? Yeah right. Bite me.

Noir
10-06-2008, 01:57 PM
god I love being a man :)

avatar4321
10-06-2008, 02:06 PM
two points:

1)Women are crabby before any of that stuff starts.
2)Men have it rougher. We have to deal with women.

crin63
10-06-2008, 02:17 PM
two points:

1)Women are crabby before any of that stuff starts.
2)Men have it rougher. We have to deal with women.

Great points! You beat me to it.

KitchenKitten99
10-06-2008, 02:32 PM
2)Men have it rougher. We have to deal with women.

1. You personally don't have to experience ANY of the above.
2. You can most times CHOOSE to "deal" with women.

Trigg
10-06-2008, 02:43 PM
Absolutely hilarious Fuzzy!!!!!!!!

Noir
10-06-2008, 03:11 PM
but the real reason that women are crabby is cus, they can be, they've got the boobies, so it doesn't matter how crabby they are men will endure it for some boobie action.

krisy
10-06-2008, 04:22 PM
but the real reason that women are crabby is cus, they can be, they've got the boobies, so it doesn't matter how crabby they are men will endure it for some boobie action.

:laugh2::laugh2:

actsnoblemartin
10-06-2008, 05:33 PM
god I love being a man :)

me too :clap:

actsnoblemartin
10-06-2008, 05:34 PM
trust me, we have to deal with women


1. You personally don't have to experience ANY of the above.
2. You can most times CHOOSE to "deal" with women.

Abbey
10-06-2008, 05:42 PM
I used to joke that I'm coming back as a tall, good looking, intelligent man, or I'm not coming back at all. Now, I think I'll call it quits either way.

:laugh2:

gabosaurus
10-06-2008, 07:10 PM
Women are crabby because they have to suffer the fools that are men. Looks at many of the posts on this board. Many are many by stupid men.
More proof that women think with the big head and men think with their small head. :p

Yurt
10-06-2008, 07:25 PM
Women are crabby because they have to suffer the fools that are men. Looks at many of the posts on this board. Many are many by stupid men.
More proof that women think with the big head and men think with their small head. :p

dinosaurs had big heads....

actsnoblemartin
10-06-2008, 07:30 PM
true

:coffee:


Women are crabby because they have to suffer the fools that are men. Looks at many of the posts on this board. Many are many by stupid men.
More proof that women think with the big head and men think with their small head. :p

Said1
10-06-2008, 10:26 PM
dinosaurs had big heads....

And big ding-a-lings.

Immanuel
10-06-2008, 10:51 PM
Women are crabby because they have to suffer the fools that are men. Looks at many of the posts on this board. Many are many by stupid men.
More proof that women think with the big head and men think with their small head. :p

"Many are many by stupid men."? Does that make a darned bit of sense? It is not even a sentence and you condemn men as stupid?

You know, I always say that if you are going to call someone stupid for spelling mistakes, you better have a dictionary handy and check every word before you post it or else you look just plain stupid. :p

Immie

manu1959
10-07-2008, 12:00 AM
I used to joke that I'm coming back as a tall, good looking, intelligent man, or I'm not coming back at all. Now, I think I'll call it quits either way.

:laugh2:

you will have a small penis......it is just the way it works....

manu1959
10-07-2008, 12:02 AM
Many are many by stupid men.


man i hope you were at the front of the boobie ass and face line.....

Yurt
10-07-2008, 01:31 AM
And big ding-a-lings.

:eek:

emmett
10-07-2008, 02:31 AM
I think someone is having a bad day!