How's The Holiday Mood?

[Kathianne]

This year it's just not hitting me. Oh I know they are coming, used to be my favorite time of year. Last year my dad died in August, then my nephew had the brain tumor. Surgery and his wedding followed, but the concern was raw at Thanksgiving, which is the day he told me it was returning. Surgery again this past July, now going for 5 weeks of radiation at Mayo.

So Thanksgiving will be sort of an 'on wheels' one, with family from my brother and SIL helping out. For awhile it looked like even that couldn't come together and with my SIL having to work and my brother staying with my nephew, then bringing him to Madison for his wife's family's Thanksgiving, then driving to IL for ours, then back to Madison and Rochester, my house is too far for me to host.

I've had Christmas at my home for the past 30 years, we're trying to figure out if I will have it, Jay should be home on the 23 or 24th.

Then there is the economy. I really am concerned about my school remaining open, so many of the parents of students are in or connected to the trades. If they lose their jobs?

Anyhow, I'm working on making the house look Christmasy, as we're all cutting way back on gifting. I'm finished with my own children, cut the cost by 2/3's at least. I'm having my friends over, no gifts, just a small party.

How's everyone else feeling, celebrating?

[retiredman]

Very excited.

last year, we all agreed to cut back on the "things" and concentrate on family fellowship instead. We plan to continue that this year.

My prayers are with your nephew and all of you at this time.

[5stringJeff]

The whole gift-giving thing takes the fun out of the holiday for me. Otherwise, I enjoy the food and family time.

[Kathianne]

The whole gift-giving thing takes the fun out of the holiday for me. Otherwise, I enjoy the food and family time.

Well that seems to be a done deal for me this year. I'm hoping that with cooking and decorating can recapture some of the meaning and feeling.

Perhaps part of it was the election, beginning to think they should be a March or April event. :laugh2: Impending doom.

[jackass]

Its really hard for me to get into the seasons down here. I am used to the cold coming and that lets me know Christmas is around the corner. Here is SC, I usually decorate in shorts and a t-shirt.

[Trigg]

Its really hard for me to get into the seasons down here. I am used to the cold coming and that lets me know Christmas is around the corner. Here is SC, I usually decorate in shorts and a t-shirt.

I always felt that way when we lived in New Orleans and FL. Kind of hard to get into the spirit.

[manu1959]

i have two little ones....christmas will be a blast again.....i can't wait for the rock band new years eve party either.....

[Yurt]

Its really hard for me to get into the seasons down here. I am used to the cold coming and that lets me know Christmas is around the corner. Here is SC, I usually decorate in shorts and a t-shirt.

i know exactly how you feel. though i grew in so cal, central coast areas, after spending a decade in the NW i find it hard to get festive when i am in shorts/t-shirt. up there it gets cold, some snow, everybody bundles up and i swear it makes everyone bundle together and maybe it is me and my sometimes over optimistic view of people, but the winters up there made people more friendly...

[Kathianne]

Just got back from the wedding, reception doesn't begin until 6:30 so I have about 45 minutes. I'm in a much better mood now, I hope it lasts. The ceremony was in an Episcopal Church, seems more like the old Catholic Church I grew up in. Well except the celebrant was female. ;)

Lovely service, my daughter was a bridesmaid and during communion sang the Ave Maria. Gorgeous. My two sons helped with baby sitting the bride's children, which was cool to see. Two ring bearers and a flower girl. They added a cute ceremony for the kids after the exchange of rings. The three children also got rings, signifying the joining of the families. Very nice.

Some of my friends from forever were there, so we'll probably hash out holiday plans this evening.

[hjmick]

The holiday mood is crap and I don't see it getting any better. Maybe next year.

[Yurt]

The holiday mood is crap and I don't see it getting any better. Maybe next year.

what about creating our own 'mood'...so what if people celebrate a holiday and we all (most) get it off...if it is about family and time... i say celebrate.

[hjmick]

what about creating our own 'mood'...so what if people celebrate a holiday and we all (most) get it off...if it is about family and time... i say celebrate.

Well my friend, this will be my first holiday season without my dad. While I am not setting out the be a miserable sot, if my birthday is any indication, the holidays won't hold much for me but a lot of bittersweet memories. I will do my best to make the occasions special for our daughters and my Mrs, as I always do, but come The day after, all bets are off. I have been wondering if I would feel different had he not spent the last few years playing Santa. All year, in and out of costume.

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y113/hjmc3rd/Dad2.jpg

Real beard, too.

And yeah, I know, he'd want me to have a great holiday season.

[Yurt]

i won't try to comprehend

i won't try to take that away

i will be your friend

that is all i can offer

[hjmick]

i won't try to comprehend

i won't try to take that away

i will be your friend

that is all i can offer

And I would ask no more.

My hope is that it won't be all bad. I do have some great memories, with any luck, they'll be enough to get me through.

[Yurt]

And I would ask no more.

My hope is that it won't be all bad. I do have some great memories, with any luck, they'll be enough to get me through.

you have kids right?

[stephanie]

Well my friend, this will be my first holiday season without my dad. While I am not setting out the be a miserable sot, if my birthday is any indication, the holidays won't hold much for me but a lot of bittersweet memories. I will do my best to make the occasions special for our daughters and my Mrs, as I always do, but come The day after, all bets are off. I have been wondering if I would feel different had he not spent the last few years playing Santa. All year, in and out of costume.

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y113/hjmc3rd/Dad2.jpg

Real beard, too.

And yeah, I know, he'd want me to have a great holiday season.

your dad is a spitting image of Santa..

he'll be looking down on you these Holidays, and enjoy seeing you happy..:beer:

[Kathianne]

Well my friend, this will be my first holiday season without my dad. While I am not setting out the be a miserable sot, if my birthday is any indication, the holidays won't hold much for me but a lot of bittersweet memories. I will do my best to make the occasions special for our daughters and my Mrs, as I always do, but come The day after, all bets are off. I have been wondering if I would feel different had he not spent the last few years playing Santa. All year, in and out of costume.

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y113/hjmc3rd/Dad2.jpg

Real beard, too.

And yeah, I know, he'd want me to have a great holiday season.

I'm sure he would. It does get better, really. Perhaps a nice blowup of that great picture where he usually sat? It sounds weird, may not work for you, but we sort of did something like that.

When my mom died in Sept. '04, it was hard, but she'd been sick for so long and there was my dad to cheer up. My brother and our kids went all out, to make it as nice as we could. I won't say those holidays were easy, but we did have fun and a few tears. Mother's Day was hard. But we had a wedding to look forward to, his first grandchild was getting married, that helped too! The wedding was great and we all spent a week in Boca Raton. Really our last big family trip together.

'05 & '06 were pretty good, though my mom was missed. We raised our glasses and toasted her. In Jan. '06 found out my dad had cancer. He did all on his terms, which really was remarkable. He had hoped to be there for my nephew's wedding, but when the chemo stopped working, he decided not to do radiation. But other than losing his hair, of which he was rather vain, ;) he kept up a pretty good quality of life until the last week. He was gone pretty quick, the day after his funeral we found out that nephew had a brain tumor. It's been crazy since.

At the wedding tonight my brother and I were talking about how impossible it is to think that my dad's been gone over a year. There still hasn't been time to process it and Jay leaves for Mayo tomorrow. So during the next 5 weeks, we're trying to schedule times that someone is with him at all times.

His wife is a manager at a major pharmacy, but being 25 years old, doesn't get all that much time off, (I'm pretty sure she's 'in the hole' regarding time off, as she had just started her position when she took time off when my dad died, then Jay was diagnosed. Literally she had about 5 days on the job, when she had to take 2 weeks off.) Obviously they have been good to her, holding off on sending her for training out of state when he had seizures that had to be cared for; then a second surgery; then the reoccurrence; then testing at Mayo...in any case, she cannot do it alone, she obviously needs to keep her job. I'd definitely say a good company to work for and lord knows she is loyal.

I would say though that all this has brought our family, which was close, closer. The cousins had mostly grown apart as they got older, now they are calling each other and emailing all the time. When I talk to my niece or her husband in NY and tell them something one of my kids is doing, they'll say, "Yeah, so and so was telling me about that! Did you know????" It's like having my own detective agency.

I swear I'll find out one of them is getting engaged through one of my nieces or nephew. The one exception being my youngest son, he and my nephew have always been close and he's had a real hard time with all his cousin has gone through. My son basically followed his cousin's path through school, from major, to activities, to being an RA, to sports. Tonight they were sitting alone for about 45 minutes, laughing and being serious in turn. My brother and I kept looking at them and looking at each other. Just like that they got up, hugged, one got his wife, the other his date and they danced. Then they switched partners. Someday I'm going to find out what was said.

Family is what matters, without the pain we might miss the joy. I wish you comfort during these normally happy times and that you too see some of the specialness that might be missed if 'all seemed calm.'

[Yurt]

Kathy,

truly heartwarming. moved me. thank you.

may the times and holidays find us all with friends or family.

[Kathianne]

Kathy,

truly heartwarming. moved me. thank you.

may the times and holidays find us all with friends or family.

Thank you. It's been a real emotional time for quite awhile. Sometimes one handles it better than others. I just know now, I really appreciate giving and receiving hugs much more than I used to. ;)

[hjmick]

your dad is a spitting image of Santa..

he'll be looking down on you these Holidays, and enjoy seeing you happy..:beer:

He was indeed. He carried a fanny pack full of little toys for the kids that approached him asking if was Santa. He worked for the city of Los Angeles and had an city I.D. tag made identifying him as Kris Kringle. He enjoyed the role immensely


I'm sure he would. It does get better, really. Perhaps a nice blowup of that great picture where he usually sat? It sounds weird, may not work for you, but we sort of did something like that.

When my mom died in Sept. '04, it was hard, but she'd been sick for so long and there was my dad to cheer up. My brother and our kids went all out, to make it as nice as we could. I won't say those holidays were easy, but we did have fun and a few tears. Mother's Day was hard. But we had a wedding to look forward to, his first grandchild was getting married, that helped too! The wedding was great and we all spent a week in Boca Raton. Really our last big family trip together.

'05 & '06 were pretty good, though my mom was missed. We raised our glasses and toasted her. In Jan. '06 found out my dad had cancer. He did all on his terms, which really was remarkable. He had hoped to be there for my nephew's wedding, but when the chemo stopped working, he decided not to do radiation. But other than losing his hair, of which he was rather vain, ;) he kept up a pretty good quality of life until the last week. He was gone pretty quick, the day after his funeral we found out that nephew had a brain tumor. It's been crazy since.

At the wedding tonight my brother and I were talking about how impossible it is to think that my dad's been gone over a year. There still hasn't been time to process it and Jay leaves for Mayo tomorrow. So during the next 5 weeks, we're trying to schedule times that someone is with him at all times.

His wife is a manager at a major pharmacy, but being 25 years old, doesn't get all that much time off, (I'm pretty sure she's 'in the hole' regarding time off, as she had just started her position when she took time off when my dad died, then Jay was diagnosed. Literally she had about 5 days on the job, when she had to take 2 weeks off.) Obviously they have been good to her, holding off on sending her for training out of state when he had seizures that had to be cared for; then a second surgery; then the reoccurrence; then testing at Mayo...in any case, she cannot do it alone, she obviously needs to keep her job. I'd definitely say a good company to work for and lord knows she is loyal.

I would say though that all this has brought our family, which was close, closer. The cousins had mostly grown apart as they got older, now they are calling each other and emailing all the time. When I talk to my niece or her husband in NY and tell them something one of my kids is doing, they'll say, "Yeah, so and so was telling me about that! Did you know????" It's like having my own detective agency.

I swear I'll find out one of them is getting engaged through one of my nieces or nephew. The one exception being my youngest son, he and my nephew have always been close and he's had a real hard time with all his cousin has gone through. My son basically followed his cousin's path through school, from major, to activities, to being an RA, to sports. Tonight they were sitting alone for about 45 minutes, laughing and being serious in turn. My brother and I kept looking at them and looking at each other. Just like that they got up, hugged, one got his wife, the other his date and they danced. Then they switched partners. Someday I'm going to find out what was said.

Family is what matters, without the pain we might miss the joy. I wish you comfort during these normally happy times and that you too see some of the specialness that might be missed if 'all seemed calm.'

Thank you for sharing this, Kath. If I don't remember your sage words, I shall come back and read them as needed.

Now that's enough. This thread isn't about me.








Though I don't mind the attention! LOL