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View Full Version : NEWSFLASH January 08, 2009.



emmett
01-07-2009, 12:17 PM
It is being reported and some sources are confirming this morning that the notorius Debate Policy Message Board, a known haven for anti-American propaganda loving right wing assholes, who preach hatred and continually plot together to bring about the "old tired Constitutional ways of life", are about to have a new name in their top ten list of people who recieve some sort of strange "reputation" grade for their diminted opinions.

Sources this morning have told us that Emmett, a radical card carrying Libertarian, an obscure extremist who has been rumored to have made many statements representing ideas by which are not popular with hardly anyone, has managed to climb within a few of the rep points necessary to be placed on this organizations top ten list of reputations.

Information about this person has been hard to get this morning as members don't seem to be co-operating with media sources. It had even been rumored that most members of this message bord don't like the general media. One source, identity withheld, has indicated that they are bafoozled by this development. "It can't be possible", they were quoted as saying, "the guy has barely broke the one thousand post mark, he doesn't even show up every day, even though he has been a member since practically inception and there is just no way this guy could have tallied that many rep points. He must have figured out a way to alter the system, I have over 5,000 posts and all I get is negative rep."

Our attempts to reach Emmett this morning have been futile as it is reported that he has been camped out at the organizations gladiator facility where one on one debates take place, waiting on some valiant respected American to indulge in a debate duel, by which was instigated by him in an attempt to squash another members claims of their opinions.

Further attempts by us here at the News agency to find information seem to have stirred interest however as we have noticed significant changes in this story's developments. This Emmett character must be aware of our efforts, strange as it is, our staffs personal information is being broadcast throughout the world, social security numbers, addresses and other related personal info. We are convinced this guy is probably some whacko hardliner extremist, put up in a fort somewhere in Montana, cleaning his AK's and preparing for some sort of Civil War of likes. We here at the News Service even tried an IRP detech but were met by some scary looking long haired freak on the screen and it was realized instantly that this could not be our subject, the thing we saw couldn't possibly be a conservative..... hell... it looked like us!

We will attempt further updates on this story as they develop however the system appears to be encountering difficulty presently as our computer screens are starting to blur and smoke is rising up from the

stephanie
01-07-2009, 12:22 PM
:laugh2::beer:

Mr. P
01-07-2009, 01:05 PM
Yer not a group kinda guy, emmett..and the dues for that club are sheeeeeeezzzzz...:slap:

emmett
01-07-2009, 01:30 PM
Yer not a group kinda guy, emmett..and the dues for that club are sheeeeeeezzzzz...:slap:


Dear Mr. P,


I would like to take this opportunity to take issue with your statement about my not being a group kinda guy! It was insensative, undeserved and unwarranted. Furthermore sir, I will have you know that unbeknowst to you my friend, I once participated in a group session ........... oops..... never mind!

What I meant to say was that I am a group kinda dude. Why in first grade, I participated in a raid of Mrs. Burris' desk with a group of other degenerates, stealing her bolo paddle which had been used on my blistered ass repeatedly, her red marking pen, which had been used on my blistered ass repeatedly and her little snot sheet, which she would always hand to that little goody two shoes chick near the front of the class, to takes names on, which was incidentally also used on my blistered ass ....... repeatedly!

Furthermore my disengenuous friend, I know you were probably at that damn jam session down there in Peachtree city, at Jeff's house the other night with Darin and some of the other hob nobbers on here. I have no doubt you all worked hard to keep the information about the party from reaching me.........ah....... but my intelligence gathering sources are far reaching my friend...... and I knew what was going on. I didn't want to go to that damn party.... or any other party, thrown by some damn Libertarian whacko, who probably was handing out breiflets at the door, containing mind altering propaganda about hoe people need to be free and all that jazz. yeah... I know whatzup cuz!

I know there is a conspiracy against me P, why even my horoscope, sent to me each day around this time said today: The new "Moon" in virgo should be enough to boost your good intentions and lessen the impact of your not so wise decisions. Hmmm..... OK. Well.... That;s all right bub! I'm gonna put an extra scoop of sugar in my coffee and press on anyhow!

You just wait til the next time I'm in a group, and you want to play, we'll see who ain't the group kinda guy then buddy!:laugh2:

Sincerely,


Your Ungroupy Pal,


Emmett

Abbey Marie
01-07-2009, 03:59 PM
Congrats, Emmett. Well-deserved. :beer:

PostmodernProphet
01-07-2009, 04:22 PM
When cornered by reporters in a dead end alley, poster PostmodernProphet admitted the whole thing was his fault....."I mistook the reputation button for a slot machine and was simply trying to win the daily jackpot", he stated......

manu1959
01-07-2009, 04:25 PM
:poke:.....tomorrow's story posted today......

emmett
01-07-2009, 04:40 PM
:poke:.....tomorrow's story posted today......


Details details details!

Abbey Marie
01-07-2009, 06:40 PM
What a bunch of wise guys.


(That's why I like it here) :beer:

5stringJeff
01-07-2009, 10:22 PM
Emmett, a radical card carrying Libertarian

Hey, guess who else is a card-carrying Libertarian, as of January 1st? THIS GUY!!! :thumb:

emmett
01-07-2009, 10:30 PM
Hey, guess who else is a card-carrying Libertarian, as of January 1st? THIS GUY!!! :thumb:


Damn! It's gonna be a tough job getting you elected the next president of the United States in 2012 but with me asa your campagne manager, we can do it!