REDWHITEBLUE2
02-14-2009, 10:30 PM
A Modest Proposal
Yesterday at 7:31pm
A young American makes A Modest Proposal:
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists,
Marxists, Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950s, but the whole of this
latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I
know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future
generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two
ideological sides of America cannot, and will not ever agree on what is
right, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile, chalk it up
to irreconcilable differences, and go our own way.
Here is a model dissolution agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each
taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two
sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that it should be
relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide
other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome
to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll
take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military. You can keep
Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible
for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move them). We'll keep
the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart,
and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies,
and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEOs,
and rednecks. We'll keep the bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood. You
can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and
hammer any place that threatens us or our way of life.
You can have the peaceniks and war protestors. When our allies or way
of life are under assault, we'll provide your protesters job security. We'll keep
our Judeo-Christian values...You are welcome to Islam, Scientology,
Humanism, and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. But we will
no longer be paying the bill. We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks, and
over-sized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can
find.
You can give everyone healthcare, if you can find any practicing
doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a
right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National
Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute it with John Lennon's "Imagine",
or "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya", or We Are the World.
We'll practice trickle-down economics, and you can give trickle-up poverty its
best shot.
Since it often so offends you we'll keep our history, our name, and our
flag and our GOD and prayer. Would you agree to this? If so please
pass it along to other like minded patriots, and if you do not agree,
just hit delete and hang on. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet
you the next 9-11 on who will need whose help in under 10 years.
Sincerely,
John J. Wall.
law student and an American
P.S. Also, please take Barbra Streisand and Jane Fonda with you
Yesterday at 7:31pm
A young American makes A Modest Proposal:
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists,
Marxists, Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950s, but the whole of this
latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I
know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future
generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two
ideological sides of America cannot, and will not ever agree on what is
right, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile, chalk it up
to irreconcilable differences, and go our own way.
Here is a model dissolution agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each
taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two
sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that it should be
relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide
other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome
to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll
take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military. You can keep
Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible
for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move them). We'll keep
the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart,
and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies,
and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEOs,
and rednecks. We'll keep the bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood. You
can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and
hammer any place that threatens us or our way of life.
You can have the peaceniks and war protestors. When our allies or way
of life are under assault, we'll provide your protesters job security. We'll keep
our Judeo-Christian values...You are welcome to Islam, Scientology,
Humanism, and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. But we will
no longer be paying the bill. We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks, and
over-sized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can
find.
You can give everyone healthcare, if you can find any practicing
doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a
right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National
Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute it with John Lennon's "Imagine",
or "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya", or We Are the World.
We'll practice trickle-down economics, and you can give trickle-up poverty its
best shot.
Since it often so offends you we'll keep our history, our name, and our
flag and our GOD and prayer. Would you agree to this? If so please
pass it along to other like minded patriots, and if you do not agree,
just hit delete and hang on. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet
you the next 9-11 on who will need whose help in under 10 years.
Sincerely,
John J. Wall.
law student and an American
P.S. Also, please take Barbra Streisand and Jane Fonda with you