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emmett
02-20-2009, 11:17 AM
Given the recent circumstances surrounding our financial difficulties in America over the last few years, one fellow (Mr. Jones) has found the answer on how the "average" citizen can now overcome this financial adversity.

Mr. Jones was smart! Here is what he did!

On or around November of 2008, right when he realized Barack Obama had been elected he made some very wise financial decisions and here is what his 2009 budget will look like.

First he quit his 52,500 dollar a year job, it was taking up alot of his time, at 37 years of age he welcomed the opportunity to take a one year vacation. His built vacation time put a few thousand dollars in his pocket. Wow!

Next he stopped making payments on his house, which had declined in value almost 14 % since he purchased it. He was certain that the new Democratic administration would come up with some sort of bailout plan for homeowners who didn't make their payments and had heard from his politically savy friends that if he played his cards right he would have his mortgage payments reduced significantly under a new plan that would come into effect sometime soon after the Democrats got in there. He was right. He knew he would have to get a new job but that was Ok cause since his wife was still working and only earning 30,000 dollars ayear, reducing his mortgage payments would work out well. Under the new plan, his payments were reduced to 31% of his wife's yearly salary. Excellent!!! That would save him thousands!!! Not to mention the payments he did not make.

Another bonus was the fact that he and his wife together made just under the cap for tax hikes not available to folks who made just 1 thousand dollars more. Mr. Jones stood to gain big dollars on the tax advantages made avaiolable to him in that regard.

Drawing unemployment for the 12 to 15 weeks he was out of work would be beneficial as well. At 350 dollars a week this would add several thousand dollars to his budget. He realized he could trade in his Lexus for a Mercedes Benz S550 like he has always wanted.

What a wonderful life the new administration was making for him. One damn thing was for sure, he would always be voting Democrat from now on.

Sine Mr. Jones has three children and his wife only makes her meager 30 grand, the family was now qualifying for many other government provided assistance. So he loaded up all the kids, took them all to the doctor and took full advantage of that.

Mr. Jones now had the chance to play a lot more golf and basketball with his other friends who had done the same thing. He had a pocket full of spendable cash for recreational spending. Life is good under a Democratic Administration.

Life was so good in fact that he considered having his wife get a lower paying job so it would reduce his mortgage payments and qualify the family for public assistance in the form of food stamps. Hell... grocries were expensive and were cutting into his spending money.

The best part of his financial plan was to think that it would all be provided to him by folks like that damn Mr. Johnson who lived on the other side of the cul-de-sac. That bastard was always doing so well. His kids spoke well, he was always seemingly happy and had that damn beautiful zero turn commercial lawn mower. The one he saw out in front of his house last week, for sale. What a chump! Selling off his shit like that when if he was as smart as Mr. jones he could have kept. That stupid fucker just keeps on working and working, oh well, somebody needs to benefit from the bastard's labor, might as well be Mr. Jones! He never liked that guy anyway, ever since he moved to the neighborhood he realized he didn't like Mr. Johnson. Guy was dull, worked all the time, didn't drink with boys on Friday night and spent too much time in his garage doing stupid shit around the house. Gave Mr. Jones a good feeling to know he would never become a dull fuck like that, he intended to enjoy the finer things in life and damn sure didn't intend to waste away like Johnson. And besides, it made him feel better about snatching the Libertarian voting sogns out of Johnson's yard last October when he and his drinking buddies were hanging out on the porch at 2 in the morning.

Some people just don't have a clue how to live!

I wonder how many folks really do think this way and how many have actually used the system in this way and ....... GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT! It is actually a good financial plan under the circumstances.

glockmail
02-20-2009, 11:52 AM
Good post. You should take out the cuss words and start a blog. Seriously. :thumb:

Psychoblues
02-21-2009, 06:15 AM
Didn't I read this in an email I got the other day, emmie?!?!?!??!?!?!?! And it wasn't from you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you copied and pasted something that doesn't belong to you and failed to give a link?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!

Hot Toddy coming right up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:beer::cheers2::beer:

Psychoblues