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View Full Version : My fifth grade girlfriend needs help.



Mr. P
03-07-2009, 01:53 PM
We've kept in touch all these years, one phone call per yr.. Maybe that's a bit odd but the following is outrageous.

Via e-mail she wants to know what I think of her post on some Sociopathic web site.

I have my OPINION but just want to see want you folks say.
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Story : Married 31 years to an evil man with a sexual addiction. He had to be all powerful and in complete control. If he feels challenged, he attacks you either verbally or physically. He had to be the supreme being at all times. He is also a pathological liar. He is extremely charming, worked the room socially, also thought of as the good guy. His profession as a firefighter allowed him unlimited freedom to victimize people at this workplace with female firefighters as well as women on the call scenes that he was dispatched to. There were always women calling the house. He would easily lie. When I would challenge his lies, he became vicious. He treated me with disdain and comtempt. My son and I could not do anything to please him, no matter what we did or how hard we tried. We were never good enough. He is highly manipulative, he always seem to enjoy others misery. He would say derisive about people when they would have problems in their lives. He would have multiple affairs at the same time. Emails, IM's, phone calls, going on overnight trips to car shows. We live in the West Palm Beach area in Florida . His women were in Palm Bay, FL (a woman that he met in a chat room), St Lucie West, FL (the mother of my son's best friend-and she was always so nice to me...), down the coast to Davie, FL (a firefighter/paramedic that he is still with, even though she is now married with a child)and across to the west coast of Fl. He has had affairs throughout our neighborhood with mothers of the sons/daughters that our children played with. I'm afraid that he is having sexual relations with our daughter. I have questioned her....but she denies it. The feeling of complete devastation and betrayal that you experience from all of the years of being with him is overwhelming. He sucked the joy of life out of me and everything that I ever loved. I do not believe that I will ever trust anyone again. He is insidious, all he cares about is winning. He must win at all costs. He became president of our HomeOwners Association and the other officers of the board quickly accused him of being a bully. Once he tells everyone what he wants, he expects that it comes to pass. Whenever someone asks a question or has a different idea, he verbally destroys them. If you don't go along with what he wants, he procedes to methodically oblierate you. He would hit me so hard, that it would knock me off of my feet, like I was nothing more than a rag doll. My head would hit the cold tile floor and I would briefly lose consciousness. If I was walking past him, going the opposite way, in a hallway, he would shoulder butt me and slam me into the wall. Whenever I can down with the flu, he would let me just lay there with a 104 degree fever and treat me with scorn because that meant that he couldn't go out with his dates, he then had to take care of the kids. The children were never allowed to play in any room other than their own. Not in the living room, family room, only their bedrooms. If the kids tried to have friends over, he made it a nightmare for them. They weren't allowed to make any noise. When they made their beds and it wasn't perfect....he would completely tear the bed apart and have them do it all over again. When they still couldn't make the bed as perfect as he wanted it, he would berate them. They would feel crushed because they couldn't please the father that they loved so dearly. They would cry their hearts out. My son was very physically abused by him. He was always harder on my son. I'm sure that there is abuse that I don't know about, my son won't tell me. I would always try to calm things down to keep my family together. I forever walked on eggshells. You never knew when something insignificant would set him off. I could go on and on. There is much trauma after 31 years.

avatar4321
03-07-2009, 02:18 PM
he has issues. id get away from him if i were her. and press charges against him.

Kathianne
03-07-2009, 02:18 PM
Sounds like an enabler and enjoys the victimhood. I'm sorry Mr. P, I just can't respect a woman that claims what had happened to her kids, but stayed with this 'well respected' man all these years.

manu1959
03-07-2009, 02:45 PM
leave.....

Abbey Marie
03-07-2009, 02:48 PM
31 years of this?! That's a lifetime. I wonder if she has an "addiction" to him.

manu1959
03-07-2009, 02:51 PM
31 years of this?! That's a lifetime. I wonder if she has an "addiction" to him.

in a way she does....it is why battered women can't leave.....

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=battered+woman+syndrome&btnG=Search

DannyR
03-07-2009, 03:13 PM
After years of being abused and told you are worthless, these women learn to believe it. Thus they feel they can't leave because how else will they survive? They feel they would be even worse failures. At least if they stay the outside world doesn't know it. Its a form of Stockholm syndrome.

Kathianne
03-07-2009, 03:30 PM
I don't really buy that whole 'battered woman' thing, at least for those with a reasonable education or family. I may be overly harsh, but will say that when my ex started verbally abusing the kids, that was it.

jackass
03-07-2009, 05:31 PM
Sounds like an enabler and enjoys the victimhood. I'm sorry Mr. P, I just can't respect a woman that claims what had happened to her kids, but stayed with this 'well respected' man all these years.

I agree with Kath here. If there was ANY thought of him being with his daughter she should get out.

Mr. P
03-07-2009, 05:37 PM
I should have been more detailed...she did divorce him about 1 yr ago.
I just received this e-mail in the OP today.

Personally, I think she is as sick as he is, maybe even more so...

Kathianne
03-07-2009, 05:49 PM
I should have been more detailed...she did divorce him about 1 yr ago.
I just received this e-mail in the OP today.

Personally, I think she is as sick as he is, maybe even more so...

I have to agree. What JA said, but she wrote that her son was abused, many times. Yet nothing about doing anything about it. Sick.

While she now chronicles her problems with physical abuse, if fits with your additional information on divorce.

I'm curious Mr. P, who initiated the divorce?

Noir
03-07-2009, 06:38 PM
Meh, either the story is prob a pack of lies, or she is a sicko...most likey a bit of both.

Buuuut at the end of the day if it is true then she could have left much earlyer but chose not to.

Mr. P
03-07-2009, 06:43 PM
Meh, either the story is prob a pack of lies, or she is a sicko...most likey a bit of both.

Buuuut at the end of the day if it is true then she could have left much earlyer but chose not to.

I promise, as far as I know it's totally true.

Mr. P
03-07-2009, 06:46 PM
I have to agree. What JA said, but she wrote that her son was abused, many times. Yet nothing about doing anything about it. Sick.

While she now chronicles her problems with physical abuse, if fits with your additional information on divorce.

I'm curious Mr. P, who initiated the divorce?

She did..FINALLY. Took way to long to make that move IMO.

jackass
03-07-2009, 06:48 PM
She did..FINALLY. Took way to long do make that move IMO.

31 years of it??? WAY too long!

Mr. P
03-07-2009, 06:52 PM
31 years of it??? WAY too long!

I don't know if it was 31 yrs..but a week is too much.

Like I said I only talked with her once a yr. she never said a word about any of this until 2 yrs ago, maybe.

Noir
03-07-2009, 06:54 PM
I promise, as far as I know it's totally true.


Well it's her life she's wasted, hopefully such things won't impact too much on her children, but she's effectivoy thrown her kids away.

Mr. P
03-07-2009, 06:58 PM
Well it's her life she's wasted, hopefully such things won't impact too much on her children, but she's effectivoy thrown her kids away.

It has had an impact on the kids. Both have been and seem to continue being in trouble with the law. Drugs an alcohol as far as I know.

Kathianne
03-07-2009, 07:05 PM
Well it's her life she's wasted, hopefully such things won't impact too much on her children, but she's effectivoy thrown her kids away.

Let's see. He had multiple affairs that she knew of. Oh, I'm sure she kept that to herself. Not. He was physically abusing her and at least one son, none of the other kids would notice that. Uh huh.

No way would the kids have been effected. :rolleyes:

He may be a bastard in the non-biblical sense, but she enabled him and she contributed to the abuse of the kids raised under this roof.

Noir
03-07-2009, 07:14 PM
Let's see. He had multiple affairs that she knew of. Oh, I'm sure she kept that to herself. Not. He was physically abusing her and at least one son, none of the other kids would notice that. Uh huh.

No way would the kids have been effected. :rolleyes:

He may be a bastard in the non-biblical sense, but she enabled him and she contributed to the abuse of the kids raised under this roof.

Ofciurse it will have an effect, isaid I hope it won't have too much of an effect, it's too easy for folk to use their past to justify their future.

And I concur with the mother being involved in the abuse.

hjmick
03-07-2009, 08:33 PM
31 years of it??? WAY too long!

Well, 32 years would have been excessive.

Jeff
03-08-2009, 07:50 AM
If he was abusing the kids and it still took her 31 yrs to get out of it , then she is just as guilty as he is, I feel for the woman he sounds like a real ass but when children are being abused someone has to stand up and get them away from it.

Of course she could be upset about the affairs he carried on and the abuse of the kids may be a way to get others to hate him as she does (cause if 1/2 what she says is true she has plenty reason to hate him) .

I have a ex that I know tells some terrible stories about our marrige ( all made up in her head) and yes our marrige was bad , so I opted to leave so the kids didn't have to live threw it. But she feels scorn and feels the need to get others to think I was a real bastard, but if that makes her feel better she is welcome to her little lie's.

CockySOB
03-08-2009, 11:19 AM
31 years of this?! That's a lifetime. I wonder if she has an "addiction" to him.

Quite possibly - enablers are often addicted to the adrenaline rushes which accompany the anticipation of "what's he going to be like when he gets home" situation.

Yurt
03-08-2009, 06:17 PM
what is the reason you informed us that this person was your fifth grade girlfriend?

Said1
03-08-2009, 06:17 PM
Sounds like she had a lot invested in appearances.

If you asked her 5 years ago, I'm sure she could find some good in him. Plus I'm sure she had a reasonable amount of effort invested in being a victim.

She has to live with her choices and how they affected her children, hopefully she isn't in denial about that, too.

If I were you P, I'd keep the conversations about her ex to a minimum, you don't want her to project her neediness on to you.

Mr. P
03-08-2009, 06:25 PM
Sounds like she had a lot invested in appearances.

If you asked her 5 years ago, I'm sure she could find some good in him. Plus I'm sure she had a reasonable amount of effort invested in being a victim.

She has to live with her choices and how they affected her children, hopefully she isn't in denial about that, too.

If I were you P, I'd keep the conversations about her ex to a minimum, you don't want her to project her neediness on to you.

I'm thinking the same thing, Said. Since "What do you think" is such a broad subject I wanted to keep any responses short..tis why I posted and asked for opinion. Thanks for yours.

Yurt
03-08-2009, 07:06 PM
what is the reason you informed us that this person was your fifth grade girlfriend?

.....

anything you care to share mr. p?

Mr. P
03-08-2009, 07:16 PM
.....

anything you care to share mr. p?

I'll share this: In the OP I asked for opinions, if you don't have one to contribute there is no need to post. Thanks

Yurt
03-08-2009, 07:20 PM
I'll share this: In the OP I asked for opinions, if you don't have one to contribute there is no need to post. Thanks

my opinion is you have some issues in this or you wouldn't have mentioned she was your fifth grade girlfriend. but i have no idea if this is true because you refuse to answer a simple question. don't make threads on a public board if you don't want questions asked back. or perhaps, next time, state you only want opinions. you don't want open dialogue, you want only opinions. sorry to ruin another thread for you mr. p.

my bad for thinking you would make a thread and if someone asked a question you would answer it. guess you only want to hear what you want to hear.

moderate democrat
03-08-2009, 07:20 PM
I agree with Kath here. If there was ANY thought of him being with his daughter she should get out.

absolutely right.