emmett
05-17-2009, 12:33 PM
You guys know me! I like to find constructive projects that serve good purpose and address the issues present in our political society. I ws playing Monopoly with my grandkids yesterday and realized the game needs a revision because it is in sharp contrast to American fundamental beliefs and a game like Monopoly just can't do that. I mean it's wrong. If anything in our culture should represent a truism, it should be Monopoly. I think one of the main reasons for it's failed popularity of recent years is the fact that it got "out of touch" with Americans lives. I've decided to change the rules to more properly reflect the games value to children in America and possibly ressurect it's popularity again. Here's a few of the changes I've made based on four or more players of mixed diversity.
First of all, Monopoly is most certainly a racist game. None of the game pieces represent diverse culture so I've replaced the dog, ship and canon with a Statue of Snoop Dawg, a burrito and buddah head. Whoever draws the Snoop game piece will be entitled to 50 extra dollars each time they pass "GO" to add to their 200.
Ok...here we go. All players will still roll the dice as usual however Caucasion players will subtract 10% of the total on each dice so as to allow for a leveling of the playing field and allow other players a reasonable chance to compete. Another words, anytime a white player rolls over 10 they should have 1 subtracted from the total and only move 9 spaces.
The game will proceed almost as normal but with a few alterations to again level the playing field. Every five turns an audit of total monies possessed will be performed by the banker. The player with the most money will pass out the difference between his stack and the second highest stack to player with the least stack. In addition, any player possessing more then (5) of the pretty little orange (500) dollar bills will surrender 20% of them to the free parking space. This will be sort of a higher "Luxury Tax". It isn't fair for one player to have all those 500 dollar bills just because they have a higher skill level or have practiced playing monopoly more than the other players.
When buying real estate after landing on the corresponding squares: The players who do not have enough money to buy certain higher priced properties such as Pennsylvanina Ave, Pacific, Park Place, etc,... on the expensive fourth of the board will be allowed to reach over and take whatever funds they need from other players. They must write an IOU to that player and present it to them prior to that action. Contained on said IOU must be a re-payment schedule which describes certain incremented payments that will be made each time they pass "GO" and recieve their 200 dollars. However...if payee feels the payment he agreed to make is a burden on his ability to compete, he will be allowed to reach into the bank and acquire said funds to pay the payment.
When a player with less than an equal share of the total money in the game (25%) for a four player game lands on the property of another player they may elect not to pay the required rent if they choose. They can stay there until their next turn, or they can pass their next turn and just sit around and do nothing to improve their game standing if they like. Remember, every five turns they will recieve money from the players who have worked hard to improve their game standing. If they sit there and do nothing for long enough and are thrifty, they can save quite a chunk of the other players money.
Passing GO! When the player with the most available on hand cash passes go he / she will surrender 10% to each of the other players. This is an "Income Tax" sort of tax and is designed to serve the common good of all the [players who are less fortunate. If at any time the player with the most on hand cash lands on "free parking" he / she will surrender (45%) of the total earned, and distribute an equal share to all the other players. This is a "capitol Gains" Tax. If they refuse, or are caught cheating they will be charged an 18% penalty each time they pass go and the banker is hereby ordered to withhold their 200 less income tax and apply it against the balance owed to the other players. That player will also be restricted from collecting any rents, house mortgages or hotel fees from any other player until the tax bill is rectified. If the player with the least amount of money runs into problems paying any debt to another player what so ever, he may reach over and take the necessary funds from the player with the most funds available WITHOUT writing an IOU if he determines it is an emergency and he really needs it immediately.
I'm sure you will all agree that my new rules for the game of Monopoly are much more representative of todays society and should be instituted at once. The folks at Parker Brothers will no doubt not change the writing of the original rules to reflect this more sensative mode of playership but we will now play this way from now on anyway. Sort of like the Constitution of the United States in comparison.
I hope you all enjoy playing Monopoly more now and introduce your children to the game. It's important you know that they learn the new ways of society and a board game like Monopoly is a unique way to do this. This way, it won't be so hard for effective hard working children to surrender what they acheive later in life to worthless lazy folks who lay around and don't do anything. Also it will relieve non aspiring children of the shame they feel when they are given everyting they get from others because they don't feel like making too much sacrifice to get out and get more for themselves.
How is it that none of you guys ever thought of this? See....that's the problem with our society! We spend so much time worrying about ourselves we don't take a minute to contribute to our fellow man. A mere few rule changes in the old fashioned game of Monopoly has clearly set the stage for a more enjoyable competition or should I say involvement, competition is such a .......well.....competitive word and places pressure on children to acheive. We don't need that.....you know? Sort of like not keeping track of outs in Little league games and stuff. There is no reason for that.
I have some other great ideas too but I don't want to shove them all down your throats at once.
First of all, Monopoly is most certainly a racist game. None of the game pieces represent diverse culture so I've replaced the dog, ship and canon with a Statue of Snoop Dawg, a burrito and buddah head. Whoever draws the Snoop game piece will be entitled to 50 extra dollars each time they pass "GO" to add to their 200.
Ok...here we go. All players will still roll the dice as usual however Caucasion players will subtract 10% of the total on each dice so as to allow for a leveling of the playing field and allow other players a reasonable chance to compete. Another words, anytime a white player rolls over 10 they should have 1 subtracted from the total and only move 9 spaces.
The game will proceed almost as normal but with a few alterations to again level the playing field. Every five turns an audit of total monies possessed will be performed by the banker. The player with the most money will pass out the difference between his stack and the second highest stack to player with the least stack. In addition, any player possessing more then (5) of the pretty little orange (500) dollar bills will surrender 20% of them to the free parking space. This will be sort of a higher "Luxury Tax". It isn't fair for one player to have all those 500 dollar bills just because they have a higher skill level or have practiced playing monopoly more than the other players.
When buying real estate after landing on the corresponding squares: The players who do not have enough money to buy certain higher priced properties such as Pennsylvanina Ave, Pacific, Park Place, etc,... on the expensive fourth of the board will be allowed to reach over and take whatever funds they need from other players. They must write an IOU to that player and present it to them prior to that action. Contained on said IOU must be a re-payment schedule which describes certain incremented payments that will be made each time they pass "GO" and recieve their 200 dollars. However...if payee feels the payment he agreed to make is a burden on his ability to compete, he will be allowed to reach into the bank and acquire said funds to pay the payment.
When a player with less than an equal share of the total money in the game (25%) for a four player game lands on the property of another player they may elect not to pay the required rent if they choose. They can stay there until their next turn, or they can pass their next turn and just sit around and do nothing to improve their game standing if they like. Remember, every five turns they will recieve money from the players who have worked hard to improve their game standing. If they sit there and do nothing for long enough and are thrifty, they can save quite a chunk of the other players money.
Passing GO! When the player with the most available on hand cash passes go he / she will surrender 10% to each of the other players. This is an "Income Tax" sort of tax and is designed to serve the common good of all the [players who are less fortunate. If at any time the player with the most on hand cash lands on "free parking" he / she will surrender (45%) of the total earned, and distribute an equal share to all the other players. This is a "capitol Gains" Tax. If they refuse, or are caught cheating they will be charged an 18% penalty each time they pass go and the banker is hereby ordered to withhold their 200 less income tax and apply it against the balance owed to the other players. That player will also be restricted from collecting any rents, house mortgages or hotel fees from any other player until the tax bill is rectified. If the player with the least amount of money runs into problems paying any debt to another player what so ever, he may reach over and take the necessary funds from the player with the most funds available WITHOUT writing an IOU if he determines it is an emergency and he really needs it immediately.
I'm sure you will all agree that my new rules for the game of Monopoly are much more representative of todays society and should be instituted at once. The folks at Parker Brothers will no doubt not change the writing of the original rules to reflect this more sensative mode of playership but we will now play this way from now on anyway. Sort of like the Constitution of the United States in comparison.
I hope you all enjoy playing Monopoly more now and introduce your children to the game. It's important you know that they learn the new ways of society and a board game like Monopoly is a unique way to do this. This way, it won't be so hard for effective hard working children to surrender what they acheive later in life to worthless lazy folks who lay around and don't do anything. Also it will relieve non aspiring children of the shame they feel when they are given everyting they get from others because they don't feel like making too much sacrifice to get out and get more for themselves.
How is it that none of you guys ever thought of this? See....that's the problem with our society! We spend so much time worrying about ourselves we don't take a minute to contribute to our fellow man. A mere few rule changes in the old fashioned game of Monopoly has clearly set the stage for a more enjoyable competition or should I say involvement, competition is such a .......well.....competitive word and places pressure on children to acheive. We don't need that.....you know? Sort of like not keeping track of outs in Little league games and stuff. There is no reason for that.
I have some other great ideas too but I don't want to shove them all down your throats at once.