What I Did Last 'Morning'

[Kathianne]

I didn't get to sleep until 5am last morning/night. So, what did I do? Spent a few hours on Twitter, watching Iran. I know, boring for most here. Then I started building lesson plans for next year. So what I came across?

http://gunstuff.com/america-attacked.html

and

http://911digitalarchive.org/galleries.php?collection_id=30

Took a few hours...

[chloe]

wow you must be tired !!! Nice memorial pics to the enya song.

[Kathianne]

wow you must be tired !!! Nice memorial pics to the enya song.

I am. However, I guess I was missing on my dad. I needed to do something that made me feel 'here.' So my mind went back to our Washington DC trip and that led to Smithsonian, which led to the 9/11 exhibit that we saw.

I miss my dad, mom, and sister. I learned so much from each.

[chloe]

I am. However, I guess I was missing on my dad. I needed to do something that made me feel 'here.' So my mind went back to our Washington DC trip and that led to Smithsonian, which led to the 9/11 exhibit that we saw.

I miss my dad, mom, and sister. I learned so much from each.

Did you Dad pass away in the 9/11 attacks? Oh were you mssing him because its fathers day?

[Kathianne]

Did you Dad pass away in the 9/11 attacks? Oh were you mssing him because its fathers day?

Hey Chloe, because it's Father's Day, I forget you weren't here 'forever.' Sigh, at the risk of boring everyone else, (actually I don't care. ;) ) I'll tell you a bit of the stories.

My folks came to stay with me from FL, after my mom broke her hip. She'd already suffered a stroke, which I blamed myself or at least my marriage for. In any case, after that my dad sold the family homestead and took my mom to FL, until my son's graduation from 8th grade, when she broke her hip.

Well the hip went from one break to two-an actual shattered the second time. So decision was reached after all therapy to have her, wheel chair, and 24 hour nursing, along with my dad to move in here. Unlike so many, with the first break she and my dad went to my brother's ranch home, separate bed and bath.

With the second break and wheelchair bound, mom wanted to come here. I couldn't and didn't want to say no, they'd helped me through all those years of bad marriage, then more of divorce. They paid all the bills when my ex was giving me $50 a month for 3 kids, a house, and 2 cars.

Obviously this could be very long, (and was in real time, ask any of the old timers that were stuck with me then), but I won't do that. After some tough times and some good times-one of which included meeting GW Bush and my mom being kissed by Dick Cheney in 2000, my mom became too ill by 10/03 to stay at home. Luckily a family friend had donated and built a senior home for Catholics. Franciscan nuns. When we needed a place, well it was there.

Over nearly a year, my mom, the center of our family, still kept us together. Every Sunday my dad, my brother, his wife, my self, and whatever kids could be there got together for mass and 'brunch' afterwards. We had some great times and laughs then-many over politics and unfortunately at my dad's expense. My dad visited her 2 times a day, me at least every other day. My brother similar and my brother's and my kids moreso than we would have ever guessed. I don't think she ever went a day without at least 3 visitors. My mom passed in Sept. 04. Her wake and funeral were phenomenal-people still comment, which was because of the home-something none of us wanted.

My mom's care at home had seriously depleted my dad's finances, which was fine with my brother and myself, but weighed on him. He'd spent near $700k on my mom, a sum he never thought he'd see. When she was gone, he worried about money. Still, in late fall of '04 he took my brother and I to DC so he could see the WWII Memorial. Even without the finishing touches, it was awesome. We went for 5 nights, stayed at Hay Adams (http://www.hayadams.com/), really awesome hotel, I'll never stay at such a chi chi place again I'm certain. Even then my dad acquiesced to a wheel chair for longer walking, my brother dealt with that. We had such a good time!

We were planning a return trip, including Boston and VA in 2006, but my dad didn't feel well enough. My brother and I said, fine. Instead he and I went to theater in Chicago for 3 nights, then me for another 4 nights, with a friend-he felt too tired. He and I went to Joliet and played the slots one night, I won. Took him to dinner and he laughed that I won over $200 with nickles.

In January we found he had lung cancer. He was 87 and had smoked since he was 9. From the 'war' he'd had injuries and treatments that caused kidney damage, he couldn't take IV chemo, so he did take oral. When that failed, in July, he refused radiation. He died of pneumonia, not cancer in August, all of 2 days. The last week, he had gotten out with his friends, twice. He went into a coma less than 24 hours after entering hospital. Total opposite of my mom, he didn't want to stay, once he knew he couldn't maintain his golf, card playing, brunch going schedule.

Funny thing, he and I never had been close. My mom's being sick, the way too much closeness in this house, well it made us closer. I was amazed at his patience with her. While she'd always been the easy one, not so after the strokes. She was firing all her 'caretakers' for weeks. We are talking 3 people at 8 hours each-my mom just abused them. My dad was freaking, but never let my mom know. Finally, we found one-a pediatrician from Ukraine, that couldn't pass the English tests for license, that my mom could at finally 'tolerate.' Eventually she came to love her and her husband, as did all of us. We are friends to this day. She suggested and we snapped yes, that she live in and be here 24/7 minus 8 hours on Saturday. Who would ever think so much hell could fit in 8 hours? LOL! My dad, when we realized we couldn't keep my mom at home, sent Nataliya and her husband to DisneyWorld for a week-everything included. Funny thing, I look back and smile.

One thing that I can't smile about, though my dad died the way he wished, had an awesome wake and funeral, the day after when my brother and I sat at my kitchen table, reminiscing of all the good times, while writing thank yous. The phone rang, it was my sister-in-law, saying my nephew had a brain tumor. My brother was wrecked. We've all kinda been since. He had surgery the Sat. after my dad's funeral, Tues. He got married 22 days later. He had second operation in July of 2008. He had massive radiation from last Thanksgiving until Christmas Eve.

I know this seems long, but is seriously condensed. Lesson: Love total, always. Never wait for tomorrow.

[Mr. P]

What I Did Last 'Morning'

Drank some old apple juice I knew I shouldn't have but did. Then an hr later promptly gave it back...felt like hell all Saturday cuz of it too.

[chloe]

Kathianne, your a great daughter. Sounds like your family is a very close strong loving family and you have great memories & endurance ! I am close to my Mother & Stepdad and took them to dinner last night for Father's Day. We had a nice time.

[chesswarsnow]

Sorry bout that,

1. My heart goes out to you Kathianne.
2. Damn you do know what its like to have your dear old dads wealth drained at the end of his life.
3. If I had my way, that would not of happened.
4. Thats a shame, and a badge of shame for all Americans.
5. Why couldn't his wealth be passed down?
6. And you and your siblings inherited it, I will never agree to what took place.
7. Sorry but it does prove my point that health care is very screwed up in America.
8. His/Your, money linned the pockets of some very rich medical industry people.
9. That makes me sick and mad at the same time!

Regards,
SirJamesofTexas