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chloe
11-01-2009, 02:17 PM
So over the years alot of people have happily suggested I should try therapy, and most recently my boss strongly encouraged it, I've mostly been against it because I think you should work out your own problems and also I don't want to feel weak under someone else's analysis. But Finally I went to one and I dunno what the guy's done to me I can't seem to control myself anymore (meaning lately I keep crying for no reason) Has anyone else ever cried for no reason? Should I be worried?:eek:

Noir
11-01-2009, 02:29 PM
I would think that crying for no reason is a sign of depression, though i'm certianly not sure of that,

I have likewise been suggested conciling on a few occasions, mostly from school and my ex, as i tend to lose my appetite from time to time, but have never gone as i've never really liked the idea,

chloe
11-01-2009, 02:34 PM
I would think that crying for no reason is a sign of depression, though i'm certianly not sure of that,

I have likewise been suggested conciling on a few occasions, mostly from school and my ex, as i tend to lose my appetite from time to time, but have never gone as i've never really liked the idea,

I don't like the idea either Noir, mine is supposed to be for "stress" but things are only getting worse since I started seeing this "therapist" and especially this last week because of stress, I have too much of it and when i dont deal with it I get through it eventually, but when I talk about things like in this "therapy" deal, suddenly afterward later I found myself wanting to cry, I dont like it at all. I'm thinking it's not a good thing as people try to make it sound.

Gaffer
11-01-2009, 03:17 PM
It can be a good thing as far as talking with someone about your life or problems and stress. But I would recommend a good reliable friend over a councilor or therapist. It does sound like you may be depressed, and the therapist should be recommending something for depression if that is the case.

Based on your posts you seem like an empathetic person concerned about others and always truth searching. Don't know what initially led you to the counciling, but don't get discouraged. It often takes a long time to get things sorted out.

Kathianne
11-01-2009, 04:08 PM
I don't like the idea either Noir, mine is supposed to be for "stress" but things are only getting worse since I started seeing this "therapist" and especially this last week because of stress, I have too much of it and when i dont deal with it I get through it eventually, but when I talk about things like in this "therapy" deal, suddenly afterward later I found myself wanting to cry, I dont like it at all. I'm thinking it's not a good thing as people try to make it sound.

Chloe, I think Gaffer nails it in that you are a very nice, empathetic person. I think it shows great effort and a strong mental coping mechanism on your part if you are depressed, that you look out for helping others. It demonstrates actively trying to 'get off yourself' and looking outward. Sometimes though, the cause of the depression is something that needs to be worked out, such as perhaps religion upbringing in your youth? Truth to tell, I'm not sure if it was Mormonism or some other, but I do think I remember you chose to leave it for something else?

Perhaps you can find a minister or someone you don't feel is attacking whatever the religion was or whatever issues seem to be hard to let go of? Sometimes in a 'therapy' situation it just seems that we discuss what we 'think' the issues are, then there isn't a solution. Keep covering the same ground, to no avail. I dunno, I have been there, pm me if you like.

chloe
11-01-2009, 04:41 PM
Thanks Noir, Gaffer, Kathianne, Honestly I really don't know what's wrong with me, I used to be able to handle stress easily nut the past few months I feel weird. So over the summer they fired about 15 people I worked with, then in october I got transferred to a new boss and moved desks 3 times and last week I got transferred back to my old boss because they eliminated the department and fired all those people. I have no friends outside of work just co-worker friends, I used to be a jokester type but lately Im just quiet at work, then last week a cop pulled me over for speeding and he was like a chatty cop and I got real crabby because I was gonna be late to work so i got a little snappy, anyway now I gotta go to court over this crap it will porbably raise my insurance too, and my ex husband hasnt paid me any money for 4 months helped me in other ways with the kids and now he dumped all his office stuff and stuff in storage to my parents house and then they tried toguilt me for it (and it worked I felt guilty) I just feel hopeless like everyone wants me to solveall there problems and I dont feel like I can. I let my ex husband live in my basement for a year for free in 2007-08 and I thought it would help but he still didnt get his crap together. I just feel tired and I guess I must feel sad too since I keep crying for no reason.

Kathianne
11-01-2009, 05:21 PM
Thanks Noir, Gaffer, Kathianne, Honestly I really don't know what's wrong with me, I used to be able to handle stress easily nut the past few months I feel weird. So over the summer they fired about 15 people I worked with, then in october I got transferred to a new boss and moved desks 3 times and last week I got transferred back to my old boss because they eliminated the department and fired all those people. I have no friends outside of work just co-worker friends, I used to be a jokester type but lately Im just quiet at work, then last week a cop pulled me over for speeding and he was like a chatty cop and I got real crabby because I was gonna be late to work so i got a little snappy, anyway now I gotta go to court over this crap it will porbably raise my insurance too, and my ex husband hasnt paid me any money for 4 months helped me in other ways with the kids and now he dumped all his office stuff and stuff in storage to my parents house and then they tried toguilt me for it (and it worked I felt guilty) I just feel hopeless like everyone wants me to solveall there problems and I dont feel like I can. I let my ex husband live in my basement for a year for free in 2007-08 and I thought it would help but he still didnt get his crap together. I just feel tired and I guess I must feel sad too since I keep crying for no reason.

I do believe that's called 'situational depression.' LOL! Way to much psychobabble in my past.

The good points for YOU:

You have a place to live.

People around you are losing their jobs like crazy, but NOT you. YOU are doing something above and beyond.

You realize you need some help, more to the point, people around you CARE and want you to feel better. Take some of that empathy onto yourself.

Joyful HoneyBee
11-01-2009, 05:47 PM
Chloe, no wonder you are so stressed and feeling so out of sorts. You have just described several of those life changing events that most lead to stress. Everything you wrote about is, individually, a serious attack on your coping mechanisms. Collectively it becomes quite an enormous burden. Another factor that no one has mentioned is the potential that there could be a hormonal link to the difficulty with which you process all of this. It doesn't matter if you are not yet old enough to be pre-menopausal; being hit with this much in a short period of time can throw your hormones out of sync.

Several years ago I went through a sheer living hell in my life; one that dragged on for a substantial length of time. There were times I really thought I would snap. I decided one day I needed to purge, so I sat down and threw myself a monster sized pity party and cried until my chest ached, my face was swollen and I had a horrible sore throat. I simply cried until there were no more tears. Then, I got myself together and made two lists - one listed all the tough and painful things I was faced with and the other listed all my blessings. As I wrote the lists it occurred to me that I had so many more blessings than I had hardships. That is not to imply that recognizing this made the difficulties any easier to bear; but, it did give me a better sense of balance in my life.

I wouldn't worry so much about crying...it can be cleansing and promote healing. The counseling is probably dredging up old memories and emotions that you had believed were long ago left behind. I've been through that myself and I found that crying was not necessarily a symptom of a problem, but rather a mechanism for venting. With all the stresses you described, a little venting should be expected and may actually be more helpful than you know.

Obviously, you have friends here, and if you want to vent, I'll be more than happy to listen. I know I'm pretty new here and you don't know me from Adam's house cat, but I've been through enough to realize whenever something comes up 'this too shall pass.....'.

glockmail
11-01-2009, 06:40 PM
Thanks Noir, Gaffer, Kathianne, Honestly I really don't know what's wrong with me, I used to be able to handle stress easily nut the past few months I feel weird. So over the summer they fired about 15 people I worked with, then in october I got transferred to a new boss and moved desks 3 times and last week I got transferred back to my old boss because they eliminated the department and fired all those people. I have no friends outside of work just co-worker friends, I used to be a jokester type but lately Im just quiet at work, then last week a cop pulled me over for speeding and he was like a chatty cop and I got real crabby because I was gonna be late to work so i got a little snappy, anyway now I gotta go to court over this crap it will porbably raise my insurance too, and my ex husband hasnt paid me any money for 4 months helped me in other ways with the kids and now he dumped all his office stuff and stuff in storage to my parents house and then they tried toguilt me for it (and it worked I felt guilty) I just feel hopeless like everyone wants me to solveall there problems and I dont feel like I can. I let my ex husband live in my basement for a year for free in 2007-08 and I thought it would help but he still didnt get his crap together. I just feel tired and I guess I must feel sad too since I keep crying for no reason.

Wow girl you've got a lot of problems, but obviously you're valuable to your work or they would have canned you along with the 15 others.

Dump the expensive pshrink who has a vested interest in keeping you depressed, talk to your pastor about the problems instead and decide that you're going to tough it out like you used to.

n0spam4me
11-01-2009, 07:42 PM
The Decyples of Sigmund FRAUD
are in it for the MONEY!

They spend years in study to learn how to play mind games and extract $! from clients.

its a sick sad world!

chloe
11-01-2009, 07:45 PM
Joyfulhoneybee, thanks for your reply it did make me feel better to know that even though this is an anonymous message board people are so kind. The venting here made me feel better then the therapist. Kathianne "situational therapy" sounds right, and it made me laugh, I realized Im just freaking out because things feel like they are caving in on me. Thanks for the kindness. Gaffer & Glock, I don't have pastor, or a mormon bishop because I am not a member of a church. The advice rings true I just need to make a list of the stressors and then figure out what to do. I get up and drive my youngest kid to a different school district every morning before work because it's a nicer area and the kids in my area are skanks. But lately my kid is making me run late because she takes too long to primp, then when I get mad I get all this sass. I asked my ex husband for help, I figure since he doesnt pay child support and doesnt have a job maybe if I put gas in his car he could drive her to school. But nohe always has a an excuse or doesnt answer the phone. Then I get pulled over by the cop and it turns into a major problem because I dont want to be late to work since everyones getting canned and now I gotta fine and court crap. Then my mom picks my kid up from school and she's being not well because she had a major car accident 2 months ago coming back from vegas that totaled her car and she had to climb out the back window. My stepdad had an accident at work, he works at the prison and so when my kid got swine flu a couple weeks ago and fell through the shower dizzy she pulled the faucet out somehow but he took my faucet and never brought it back or fixed it and I dont want to bother him since he had an accident. My sister is a bug drunk and she's been haressing my mother all hours of the night iI cut her and my dad out years ago because they used to haress me in the same really inappropriate ways. But I feel I must listen to my mom cmplain about it since she helps me by picking my kid up for school. Oh yeah and since my kid had swine flu they made her miss a week of school and I stayed up late doing homework I got an A on her 15 page report I wrote (I guess thats funny), I just feel overwhlemed. But Glock you are right I need to toughen up man and snap out of it. I feel alot better reading what you all had to say, I guess everyone lets stress bother them in a moment of weakness, but you gotta move on !!!

chloe
11-01-2009, 07:49 PM
The Decyples of Sigmund FRAUD
are in it for the MONEY!

They spend years in study to learn how to play mind games and extract $! from clients.

its a sick sad world!

Well that might be true about the mind games, I think it must be because I never just started crying for no reason before therapy. But I didnt have to pay anything because my boss told me to go and my company is paying for it. I didnt even have to fill out paperwork I just show up to the therapists office and its all paid for and taken care of.

jimnyc
11-01-2009, 10:28 PM
So over the years alot of people have happily suggested I should try therapy, and most recently my boss strongly encouraged it, I've mostly been against it because I think you should work out your own problems and also I don't want to feel weak under someone else's analysis. But Finally I went to one and I dunno what the guy's done to me I can't seem to control myself anymore (meaning lately I keep crying for no reason) Has anyone else ever cried for no reason? Should I be worried?:eek:

I'll give you my thoughts, which are free, so take them for what they're worth!

I've been seeing a "therapist" for about 5 years or so now. The reason for the continued visits is the medicine. They can only prescribe so much to you here in NY without actually seeing you. And since I am also prescribed Xanax, a narcotic, he can only prescribe them when he sees me, so it needs to be every month.

Anyway, my reason for going was/is anxiety and depression, but more so the anxiety (hence the xanax).

Within all the drugs is actual discussion with the therapist. They are trained to actually give you less information and prompt you to discuss your issues yourself, and then they help guide you in areas you are unsure of. They WANT you to think and face your problems head on. So it's only natural that discussing your issues with someone will bring them to the front of your mind, looking at things differently, and it can seem a little overwhelming at first.

But trust me, it gets better, and quickly. It's like a change of habit, and you need to find a comfort level with not only speaking to someone with these issues, but also learning a new way to deal with them on your own.

In other words, what you are experiencing is 100% normal for someone just entering the process. Just remain positive as much as you can and know it only gets better and easier.

And I wouldn't EVER consider yourself/myself weaker as a result of discussing such things with a therapist, or a friend. Things that can cause anxiety/depression and other mood swings are often associated with things internally which you have little control over. Sometimes learning new ways to do things in life, and sometimes medication, are what we need to get back on track. But some of the smartest, famous & richest people who ever lived have sought out therapy and have dealt with such issues.

chloe
11-02-2009, 09:34 AM
JimNyc I know what you are saying, I have examined some stuff from my past, and the only thing I can compare how Im feeling right now is that when I got sober in Alcoholics Anonymous (which is where I met my ex husband) I felt really emotional for no reason. But then later the more sober time I had then I came to know some of those reasons for my drinking and drugging. Some of those things are better left alone though, at least for me. I like the therapist he's real nice. He thinks Im very sensitive to things and I notice he is sensitive to things too, because sometimes when we talk I notice his eyes get watery and it makes me feel like he's really hearing me because he knows how bad I feel. I hope I sort this out and get back to normal soon. I really appreciate your input as well because it makes me feel better to know everyone feels the need for help or support from time to time. I'm sorry I aired all my private problems on the message board and I probably made people feel obligated to be nice to me. Anyway everyones feedback was still appreciated and I will have to just keep on working through it. Thanks :salute:

gabosaurus
11-02-2009, 02:21 PM
If you need medical help, you seek a medical professional. You don't get advice from your neighbor.
Mental health professionals are the same way. They are specialists. It's painful a lot of times. So is a root canal.