Valentine's Day Rhymes

[red states rule]

Got this via email


THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION
ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME
WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE,
AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:


1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.

2. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.

5. I thought that I could love no other
-- that is until I met your brother.

6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's
empty and so is your head.

7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

9. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

10. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'

11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.



WHO SAID POETRY IS BORING?

[crin63]

ROFL :lmao: at number 6. That one just cracked me up.

[Trigg]

#11 is the best!!!


I'm not a fan of Valentines Day, it's simply a day for the card companies to make money between Christmas's.

[Shadow]

Those are funny. I think I have seen them before...printed in a newspaper maybe.

Here are a few more love quotes in honor of Valentines day..


Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the
imagination and bottling the common sense.~Helen Rowland


All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt! ~Lucy Van Pelt (in Peanuts, by Charles M. Schulz)


Love is sharing your popcorn~ Charles M Schulz


Don't make love by the garden gate,love may be blind but the neighbors ain't ~ Anon


Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.~
Jules Renard

A kiss blown
is a kiss wasted,
the only real kiss,
is a kiss tasted.~ Anonymous

[Shadow]

A couple fun Valentine's day poems I found...


Superhero Valentine


Valentine, you’re in my dreams,
Both daytime and at night;
I dream of how you’d feel to touch,
How I’d fill you with delight.


So far my dreams have not come true;
You scarcely know I’m there.
But if I were a super hero,
Then I could make you care.


As Spiderman I’d weave a web,
Lure you and catch you in it,
So you couldn’t just smile and walk away,
After talking less than a minute.


As Plastic Man my parts could stretch,
I’d form them as you desire.
We could play till we got it right;
Now that should light your fire.


As Batman I’d show you sweet mysteries
In my secret underground lair.
I’d kiss and caress you to ecstasy;
Say yes; just take my dare.


I might be the superhero you’ve dreamed;
Don’t automatically deny me.
Just put yourself in my loving hands;
You won’t be sorry; try me.


You’re my personal Wonder Woman;
Be my heroine, Valentine.
Let me show you why you should choose me,
And why you’ll love being mine.


By Karl and Joanna Fuchs

[Shadow]

Silly Valentine

It’s Valentine’s day,
And it’s really quite silly;
My feelings are switching around
Willy-nilly.
I’m happy, SO happy!
Then I’m feeling SO sad;
I’m gloomy, I’m joyful
Oh man, this is bad!
My body is clammy,
Then I’m in a deep sweat;
Sometimes I’m giddy,
Sometimes I fret.
I’m looking for comfort food
Deep in the frig;
Often I think
I could jump off a bridge.
What is the reason
For all the above?
It’s Valentine’s Day,
And I’m SO in love!


By Joanna Fuchs

[Shadow]

Will You Be Mine?


Valentine, you make me silly;
You make my heart beat willy-nilly;
When I'm with you, the world is hazy;
Valentine, you drive me crazy!


Valentine, when we're apart,
My need for you goes off the chart.
Will you be mine? Can I be thine?
Say you'll be my Valentine!


By Joanna Fuchs

[darin]

Gonna have a similar thread for "Steak and BJ Day"? :D

[Shadow]

Will You Be My Valentine?


For months I’ve sat and held it in,
It choked inside and hurt like sin.
It made me sweat and steam and stew,
Whenever I caught sight of you.


Thank goodness Valentine's Day has come;
If I held it longer, it would strike me dumb.
This day I’ll say it, come rain or shine...
Will you be my Valentine?


By Karl Fuchs

[Shadow]

Last one...

Since My Valentine Got A Computer


Since my Valentine got a computer
My love life has taken a hit.
Nothing I say is important
Unless it’s a byte or a bit.


Before she got her new laptop,
Everything was just fine;
Now she says we can’t talk
Unless we both go online.


"But honey," I said, "I’m attached to you;
Love is what I feel."
"That keyword isn’t relevant,"
She said, with eyes of steel.


She clicked the keyboard furiously;
The screen was all she could see,
And then to my horror and shame,
She started describing me:


"Your motherboard needs upgrading;
Your OS needs help, too.
And you definitely need a big heatsink
To cool your CPU."


"Don’t flame me, my sweet," I pleaded.
"Not on Valentine’s Day."
"Fix the bugs, and I’ll see," she said,
While looking at me with dismay.


"What ever you want, my darling;
Whatever you need; you call it.
I’ll upload or download anything,
And then I’ll go install it."


(Her hostile CD keeps replaying,
And though I don’t want to fight her,
Is this what I want for a Valentine?
I’ve been burned; can I rewrite her?)


"Are you all hard drive now," I asked
"Is there no software in you?
Don’t you remember the good times?
Let our memories see us through."


"LOL," she said to me, chuckling.
"You’re nothing but adware.
"I’ve got four gigs of memory;
I’ve got no problem there."


"Please, honey, we can save it," I said.
"Our love means more than that."
"That’s not in my cache; we’re going to crash,"
She said, as she turned me down flat.


(This woman has really changed;
Do I really want to chase her?
More and more I’m thinking
It might be nice to erase her.)


"Aw, honey, don’t talk like that," I said.
"Can’t we just plug and play?
I hereby accept default,
And I’m yours, my love, come what may.


My goal is to make you happy;
I want to be your portal,
But your sudden, distant coldness
Would test the strongest mortal.


If we need a brand new interface,
So we can FTP,
I’m your go along, get along guy,
And I want you to stay with me."


"If you want to get into my favorites," she said,
And you want to get past my encryption,
If you want to get through my firewall,
Here is my only prescription."


"First, put up your own Web site,
And e-mail me when it’s done.
I’ll check your page rank with Google,
And tell you if you’re the one."


My life has become a real trial,
Since my Valentine got a computer.
If I want her to care about me again,
I guess I’ll have to reboot her.


By Joanna Fuchs

[Shadow]

Gonna have a similar thread for "Steak and BJ Day"? :D

When is that?

Here is a Valentine you might actually like though LOL.

http://i354.photobucket.com/albums/r405/Ginger1965/bearknife.jpg

[Shadow]

Valentines day joke:


I'm sending out some cards


A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"

"But why?" asks the man.

"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.

[Shadow]

A Thoughtful Valentine's Day Gift


Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day.

'Yes,' came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, 'I've bought her a belt and a bag.'

'That was very kind of you,' Jim added, 'I hope she appreciated the thought.'

Tony smiled as he replied, 'So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now.'