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red states rule
03-02-2010, 07:37 AM
A guys wife sat down on the sofa next to him as he was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?' He said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

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A husband and wife were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while they
were in bed. he turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

He then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at him this time, simply saying, "Yes."

So he said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And then the fight started.......

HogTrash
03-02-2010, 08:10 AM
I barely bumped into this car in front of me at a stop sign, no big deal.

The driver, a 3 feet tall midget, gets out and walks back to my car.

He looks up at me, mad as hell, and says "I am not happy"!

So I look down at him and ask, "Oh yea, so which one are ya"?

That's when the fight started...

red states rule
03-02-2010, 08:12 AM
A mans wife was hinting about what she wanted for their upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
seconds.'

Her husband took her to the bathroom scale.

And then the fight started...

HogTrash
03-02-2010, 09:45 AM
The man comes home, tired from a hard days work...

His wife starts nagging and bitching about never going anywhere.

She tells her husband she's sick and tired of sitting around the house.

She demands he take her out and not to a cheap dive like they usually go to.

She says she wants him to take her someplace expensive for a change.

So he takes her to a gas station.....That's when the fight started.

red states rule
03-02-2010, 09:47 AM
A guy takes his wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason took his
order first. "I'll have the steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...

HogTrash
03-02-2010, 09:54 AM
The husband is amazed at his wife's ability to always say just the right thing to make him feel good.

One day he asked her if she could tell him something that would make him incredibly happy and sad at the same time.

So she tells him, "of all your friends, you have the biggest dick".....That's when the fight started.

red states rule
03-02-2010, 09:57 AM
A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not
happy with what she saw and said to her husband, "I feel horrible; I
look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replied, 'Your eyesight's perfect.'

And then the fight started