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red states rule
05-04-2010, 06:17 PM
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a
voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike
running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.

The sign reads, 'If you can catch me, you can have me.'

Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing
and puffing, he finally gives up..

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.

On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10
lbs. as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning,
beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing
but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, 'If you
catch me you can have me'.

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent
shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the
same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers
that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and
calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program

'Are you sure?' asks the representative on the phone.. 'This is our most
rigorous program.'

'Absolutely,' he replies, 'I haven't felt this good in years.'

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a
huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and
a sign around his neck that reads, 'If I catch you, you're mine.'

He lost 63 pounds that week.

hortysir
05-04-2010, 06:50 PM
:lol:



I was on Jenny Craig once.



She kept screaming, "Get off me, ya fat bastard!"


:cheers2:

red states rule
05-04-2010, 06:54 PM
:lol:



I was on Jenny Craig once.



She kept screaming, "Get off me, ya fat bastard!"


:cheers2:

You know you need to diet when you get your shoes shined, and you have to take the kids word for it

Mr. P
05-04-2010, 07:49 PM
:lol:



I was on Jenny Craig once.



She kept screaming, "Get off me, ya fat bastard!"


:cheers2:
:laugh2: