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View Full Version : And this is one of the reasons why I don't have more close female friends...



KitchenKitten99
09-12-2010, 04:32 PM
I am on a message board that is wedding-related for various reasons.

Anyhow, I rarely actually post there, but more or less us it as reference for my planning business, etc.

So I come across this post in the Misc. Wedding Woes section.

"A woman in my office sent out a memo to everyone asking if they would like to donate money or sponsor her in a breast cancer walk (let's not touch that, I don't like office solicitation but whatever). The memo states that she is an 18 year survivor. I was actually going to donate some money (like $20) but I'm not anymore.

While walking between my office and the other office, I notice her on her cell phone. While she's talking, she's smoking. Smoking is legal and I have no problem with her smoking. But you had breast cancer and you smoke? Dumb dumb dumb. There's not guarantee she'll end up with lung cancer, or any other cancer for that matter, but why risk it? Also, I work for a bunch of lung docs. We see patients all day that are paying severely for a lifetime of smoking.

So no money for her. And now I judge. Not that I wasn't already for other things, but I'm judging more. "

With the following comments as replies:
"::judges with you::"

"::sit's at the judges table::"

"I judge anyone for smoking, period."

"I know some offices where that e-mail would result in a write up. Office policy not to solicit co-workers.

As for the smoking, yeah that's just asking fate to walk up and smack you upside the head. Smoking is bad for you in like a million different ways, why risk it when you already have an increased risk factor for developing cancer?"

Ok, I get her view towards the part of donating money and not wanting to after seeing her habit. That is understandable. However the part about 'judging', and the other responses saying they do the same, and one saying she judges people for smoking at all.

Really? Grow up. Are we still in middle school or high school?

And people wonder why I don't like hanging out with females much. I prefer the company of guys.

chloe
09-13-2010, 04:14 PM
I guess we all have preferences. I always get along better with women and gossipy gay men at work:salute:

Abbey Marie
09-13-2010, 04:22 PM
Guys judge too. A lot. They just aren't as openly vocal about it.

Noir
09-13-2010, 04:52 PM
Yeah, outa the 8 people at my work I'm the only guy, and it's amazing to see how women interact with eachother when they're with eachother, and then again when they're not :laugh2:

krisy
09-13-2010, 09:25 PM
Yeah, outa the 8 people at my work I'm the only guy, and it's amazing to see how women interact with eachother when they're with eachother, and then again when they're not :laugh2:


Thats the truth! Hate to say it,but I think men are easier to work with. Not all women are gossipy and catty,but women in general have perfected the sport:laugh2:

SassyLady
09-14-2010, 02:49 AM
I love men and women, and they love me!!!

I believe everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect.....until they don't.

Men do gossip....but I believe they are more tactical and strategic about it. My education/career background is in organizational behavior and believe me, gossip can be used effectively by experts.



Gossip Benefits<O:p</O:p

http://people.howstuffworks.com/gossip3.htm

DragonStryk72
09-14-2010, 10:53 AM
Guys judge too. A lot. They just aren't as openly vocal about it.

Actually, it's usually the opposite. We are clear about it, but we don't focus on it or pull others in. We essential put said person into the "douchebag" file, and move on with our lives.

Nukeman
09-14-2010, 11:47 AM
Actually, it's usually the opposite. We are clear about it, but we don't focus on it or pull others in. We essential put said person into the "douchebag" file, and move on with our lives.

Have to agree...

I have worked in health care for 21 years!!! I will say the vast majority of health care porviders are female. The department I currently work in and have been in for 14 years now is mostly male!!! I say this to bring home the fact that we have very little gossip problems and very little tension in the department as a whole, now some of the "sub departments" are mostly female and they have a slew of "personal" issues...

My wife says she would rather work with a bunch of men than women, she says this because according to her "women are catty and bitchy with one another"!!!

Mr. P
09-14-2010, 01:18 PM
I guess they all lost sight of the cause, a breast cancer fund raiser. Who cares if the women has a green mohawk and smokes a damn cigar, if ya wanna contribute contribute to the cause. Geeezzzz

Trigg
09-14-2010, 03:53 PM
Have to agree...

I have worked in health care for 21 years!!! I will say the vast majority of health care porviders are female. The department I currently work in and have been in for 14 years now is mostly male!!! I say this to bring home the fact that we have very little gossip problems and very little tension in the department as a whole, now some of the "sub departments" are mostly female and they have a slew of "personal" issues...

My wife says she would rather work with a bunch of men than women, she says this because according to her "women are catty and bitchy with one another"!!!

you forgot backstabbing.

KitchenKitten99
09-14-2010, 06:26 PM
My wife says she would rather work with a bunch of men than women, she says this because according to her "women are catty and bitchy with one another"!!!

I agree! I am complicated and enough drama for myself (hey, at least I am aware of it!), as is my life right now, so I don't need to add to it.

I was actually invited to go down to a timeshare in Mexico with the wife of a friend of the Mr. ... I turned it down, because I just don't do 'girls weekends' or even 'girls night out'. I run away from those like Obama runs from actual work. I hate shopping with other women unless we have our guys with. My Mr. is more fun to shop with (if I even go with anyone) and he actually likes to go with me. Because then I get an HONEST answer as to if something looks good on me when I try it on, and not an answer that is based on whether or not the other female is trying to look better than me.

Plus all the whining and complaining about everything under the sun from spouses/boyfriends to parents to work... ugh. NO THANK YOU!

chloe
09-14-2010, 08:06 PM
Sounds like some people have had bad experiences, but at my job I have always been lucky, I got along with all the women and we had potlucks and laughs and we help each other if there was a need. Maybe its just the state I live in but women are supportive here in every work environment I've had.:salute:

Oh yeah I get along good with the men at work too:laugh:

Pagan
09-14-2010, 08:09 PM
I have a number of close female friends, I like having the Estrogen around every now and again. But I don't like being in a group of a number of Women due to the Gossip and what not.

chloe
09-14-2010, 08:13 PM
I have a number of close female friends, I like having the Estrogen around every now and again. But I don't like being in a group of a number of Women due to the Gossip and what not.


I love a good gossip......ps...did you hear who Gaffer's seeing??

crin63
09-15-2010, 09:16 AM
Personally, I seem to always get in trouble when I'm in a group of women.

Most guys in the L.A. area are so whipped that they follow on the heels of their women, but I'm so anti feminist and anti PC that I always say stuff just too push their buttons. It cracks me up to watch the shock on their faces and hear the gasps on their lips. I laugh at men that I hear them saying their wives won't let them do this or that.

I was raised to flirt with women and was very good at it, however I prefer to be subtly obnoxious by pushing their Feminist PC buttons.

chloe
09-15-2010, 09:40 AM
Personally, I seem to always get in trouble when I'm in a group of women.

Most guys in the L.A. area are so whipped that they follow on the heels of their women, but I'm so anti feminist and anti PC that I always say stuff just too push their buttons. It cracks me up to watch the shock on their faces and hear the gasps on their lips. I laugh at men that I hear them saying their wives won't let them do this or that.

I was raised to flirt with women and was very good at it, however I prefer to be subtly obnoxious by pushing their Feminist PC buttons.


Let's be honest you get in trouble cuz your hot !:laugh:

Pagan
09-15-2010, 11:42 AM
Personally, I seem to always get in trouble when I'm in a group of women.

Most guys in the L.A. area are so whipped that they follow on the heels of their women, but I'm so anti feminist and anti PC that I always say stuff just too push their buttons. It cracks me up to watch the shock on their faces and hear the gasps on their lips. I laugh at men that I hear them saying their wives won't let them do this or that.

I was raised to flirt with women and was very good at it, however I prefer to be subtly obnoxious by pushing their Feminist PC buttons.

Ha, know what you mean. I used to live in Orange County back in the '80's.

Me, actually most of my close female friends are gay and I can talk to them rather bluntly without worrying about PC crap. :laugh2:

SassyLady
09-16-2010, 01:08 AM
Let's be honest you get in trouble cuz your hot !:laugh:

I have to agree with you Chloe!

Abbey Marie
09-16-2010, 05:31 AM
Actually, it's usually the opposite. We are clear about it, but we don't focus on it or pull others in. We essential put said person into the "douchebag" file, and move on with our lives.

There is a difference between gossiping and judging; the latter what I believe the thread was about.