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Trigg
05-04-2007, 03:44 PM
Worst First Date

If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down
when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first
date or not!!!
We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.

On the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Jay went into the audience to find
the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner
described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no
question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold.. and the guy had
her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a day
trip no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never
met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were
headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the
mounttain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have
had that extra latte. They were about hour away from anywhere with no
restroom and in the middle of no where.

Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.
Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a
point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside
the road, or it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and
she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and
started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her
butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion
stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeedwas a real
gentleman and refrained from peeking!
All she
could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather
embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she soon
became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the
young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's
fender.

Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind
as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was
quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme
cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment,
she answered her date's concerns about what is taking so long with a
reply that indeed, she was freezing her butt off and in need of some
assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with
her sweater. Then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out
laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to
compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously as hysterical
as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both
agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the
grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the
predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was
only one way to get her free.

So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip
his pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in
laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down... or perhaps that
should be pants down...And you thought your first date was
embarrassing.

Jay Leno's comment... This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed
off.

Hagbard Celine
05-04-2007, 04:05 PM
Why not try to get some fluid from the car to unfreeze her butt...like windshield washer fluid? Or warm something with the car heater? People can be so dumb sometimes. Sheesh. Did she say if the relationship worked out?

Abbey Marie
05-04-2007, 05:09 PM
...
Did she say if the relationship worked out?

Probably depends on if he liked what he saw...

Hagbard Celine
05-04-2007, 05:13 PM
Probably depends on if he liked what he saw...

And if she liked the R.Kelly action she got.

Yurt
05-04-2007, 06:28 PM
Why not try to get some fluid from the car to unfreeze her butt...like windshield washer fluid? Or warm something with the car heater? People can be so dumb sometimes. Sheesh. Did she say if the relationship worked out?

Unless this guy had a syphon or extra fluid in the trunk, how do you propose they get the fluids from the car?

Damn funny story though.

Hagbard Celine
05-04-2007, 06:29 PM
Unless this guy had a syphon or extra fluid in the trunk, how do you propose they get the fluids from the car?

Damn funny story though.

Most people have an old cup or something that they could use to ladle-out some fluid. Just pop the top off the reservoir and voila!

Yurt
05-04-2007, 06:43 PM
Most people have an old cup or something that they could use to ladle-out some fluid. Just pop the top off the reservoir and voila!

LOL *puts cup and ladle next to syphon*

Hagbard Celine
05-04-2007, 06:45 PM
LOL *puts cup and ladle next to syphon*

You know, like a Wendy's cup or coke bottle or something.

Hobbit
05-04-2007, 10:56 PM
Why not try to get some fluid from the car to unfreeze her butt...like windshield washer fluid? Or warm something with the car heater? People can be so dumb sometimes. Sheesh. Did she say if the relationship worked out?

If they'd been driving very long at all, those fluids would be so hot that she'd get scalded and possibly lose some of her butt to frostbite from warming it too fast.

KitchenKitten99
05-04-2007, 11:32 PM
Why not try to get some fluid from the car to unfreeze her butt...like windshield washer fluid? Or warm something with the car heater? People can be so dumb sometimes. Sheesh. Did she say if the relationship worked out?

washer fluid has alcohol in it-not the best idea for damaged skin. Just pain and even more freezing when the alcohol evaporates.