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Palin Rider
11-29-2010, 10:42 PM
Each of us is here because our mothers and fathers had sex at least once. So, considering that most of us would rather exist than not exist, why is sex so often perceived as dark, shameful, and complicated?

In an ideal world, sex SHOULD be about on the same level as a trip to the amusement park. Clearly you don't want to go with someone who's sick or who's likely to make you sick. Nor would you want to go with just any random person: we all have our own tastes about who makes for good company, and there should be no feelings of being hurt or rejected if someone tells you that you're not the right company for them.

Beyond this, there's no need for the process to become overcomplicated. Something is seriously wrong if you have to bribe someone to go to the amusement park with you, or if you have lingering ideas about the amusement park being an evil, shameful place.

SassyLady
11-29-2010, 11:02 PM
Each of us is here because our mothers and fathers had sex at least once. So, considering that most of us would rather exist than not exist, why is sex so often perceived as dark, shameful, and complicated?

In an ideal world, sex SHOULD be about on the same level as a trip to the amusement park. Clearly you don't want to go with someone who's sick or who's likely to make you sick. Nor would you want to go with just any random person: we all have our own tastes about who makes for good company, and there should be no feelings of being hurt or rejected if someone tells you that you're not the right company for them.

Beyond this, there's no need for the process to become overcomplicated. Something is seriously wrong if you have to bribe someone to go to the amusement park with you, or if you have lingering ideas about the amusement park being an evil, shameful place.


Should sex be fun ... absolutely!!! Should it be as casual as going to the amusement park? NOT!

Palin Rider
11-29-2010, 11:04 PM
Should sex be fun ... absolutely!!! Should it be as casual as going to the amusement park? NOT!

That's why I added the sentence about not going with people who could make you sick. Apart from that issue, what's to stop it from being relatively casual?

SassyLady
11-29-2010, 11:12 PM
That's why I added the sentence about not going with people who could make you sick. Apart from that issue, what's to stop it from being relatively casual?

Intimacy? It's amazing how many people will swap bodily fluid without a second thought...and yet, are afraid to talk about politics or money. It's like their belief system is more sacred than their body.

To use your amusement park analogy .... You invite someone to the park and they are ready and willing to ride the roller coaster, but are afraid of walking through the gift shops....because they might reveal something about themselves.

Palin Rider
11-30-2010, 12:03 AM
Intimacy? It's amazing how many people will swap bodily fluid without a second thought...and yet, are afraid to talk about politics or money. It's like their belief system is more sacred than their body.

To use your amusement park analogy .... You invite someone to the park and they are ready and willing to ride the roller coaster, but are afraid of walking through the gift shops....because they might reveal something about themselves.

The fact that intimacy is fairly important to you personally (and to me personally) doesn't support the idea that it has to be required for everyone. Many people have so-called "fuck buddies," and although it's not a choice I'd make, there's nothing inherently wrong with it.

Mr. P
11-30-2010, 12:15 AM
Each of us is here because our mothers and fathers had sex at least once. So, considering that most of us would rather exist than not exist, why is sex so often perceived as dark, shameful, and complicated?

In an ideal world, sex SHOULD be about on the same level as a trip to the amusement park. Clearly you don't want to go with someone who's sick or who's likely to make you sick. Nor would you want to go with just any random person: we all have our own tastes about who makes for good company, and there should be no feelings of being hurt or rejected if someone tells you that you're not the right company for them.

Beyond this, there's no need for the process to become overcomplicated. Something is seriously wrong if you have to bribe someone to go to the amusement park with you, or if you have lingering ideas about the amusement park being an evil, shameful place.
Ain't getting any, huh? :laugh:

SassyLady
11-30-2010, 12:16 AM
The fact that intimacy is fairly important to you personally (and to me personally) doesn't support the idea that it has to be required for everyone. Many people have so-called "fuck buddies," and although it's not a choice I'd make, there's nothing inherently wrong with it.

So say you.

Personally, I'd rather be intimate (not just physical) with a sexual partner ... and not just be a buddy.

Pagan
11-30-2010, 12:23 AM
What two consenting adults define and do is nobody's business but their own, that's who defines it.

It belongs with the family period.

Palin Rider
11-30-2010, 12:42 AM
Ain't getting any, huh? :laugh:
I'd doubt that even Viagra works on you anymore. :laugh:

LuvRPgrl
11-30-2010, 04:35 AM
That's why I added the sentence about not going with people who could make you sick. Apart from that issue, what's to stop it from being relatively casual?

Because babies arent born out of a roller coaster ride.

Casual sex leads to unwanted pregnancies.

Who suffers from unwanted pregnencies?

The new baby,,,
The mother, especially if she decides on an abortion

Maybe next time BEFORE you post about how cool casual sex is, go visit an orphanage,
or THINK through the issue of how single parenting is destroying our youth, (Ritalin anyone?)
Think about how kids growing up without fathers is destroying so many, particularly in the black community,
Go see how many women struggle financially and emotionaly who decided not to have an abortion

oh, in other words, THINK< THINK< THINK

We are humans, not animals, we are extremely complex emotionally and sexually, the free sex notion of the 60's has been exposed to be most dangerous and damaging to all the individuals involved and society at large.


The fact that intimacy is fairly important to you personally (and to me personally) doesn't support the idea that it has to be required for everyone. Many people have so-called "fuck buddies," and although it's not a choice I'd make, there's nothing inherently wrong with it.

For the most part, women need intimacy of some sort to really, FULLY enjoy sex. If they do casual sex, its USUALLY not for the sex, it has another deeper psychological basis.

Human sexuality is EXTREMELY complex, and to just boil it down to fuck buddies is like comparing Mozart to a child playing chop stix on a piano.

"Inherently", using that term leaves the discussion/arguement wide open to interpetation, depending upon what each individuals concept of "inherent" means.

Liberals will basically distort the definition of "inherent" so they can make the arguement of, casual sex with fuck buddies, ok.

On the other hand, if one looks honestly at the topic and the word "inherent", the only conclusion one can come to is that "fuck buddies" sex is ultimately very costly for everyone and not worth it.

Noir
11-30-2010, 08:25 AM
...you think there's too much shame? =/

I think there's far too little, from about 5th year (16 year olds +) in my school the converstaion the majoirty of the time was spent discussing who'd slept with who and who other people were going to sleep with and so forth, and shame was absent in all of those conversations.

Maybe sex as a concept doesn't mean that much to you, fair enough, but don't try and break it down into ethical axioms, it just doesn't work.

Also, lveRPgirl, as an aside, "We are humans, not animals" no, we are Humans AND animals.

chloe
11-30-2010, 08:45 AM
What two consenting adults define and do is nobody's business but their own, that's who defines it.

It belongs with the family period.


Agreed


Each of us is here because our mothers and fathers had sex at least once. So, considering that most of us would rather exist than not exist, why is sex so often perceived as dark, shameful, and complicated?

In an ideal world, sex SHOULD be about on the same level as a trip to the amusement park. Clearly you don't want to go with someone who's sick or who's likely to make you sick. Nor would you want to go with just any random person: we all have our own tastes about who makes for good company, and there should be no feelings of being hurt or rejected if someone tells you that you're not the right company for them.

Beyond this, there's no need for the process to become overcomplicated. Something is seriously wrong if you have to bribe someone to go to the amusement park with you, or if you have lingering ideas about the amusement park being an evil, shameful place.

You mean in "Your ideal world" he he. I think what Pagan said is mostly what I think it's between 2 adults, or in your case if its an amusement park orgy it might be between 40 or 50 consenting adults. :laugh:

I don't really care what people do as long as they are consenting adults and not forcing there choice on me or children. As far as expecting others not to be hurt over feelings of rejection you really can't control how others feel, but you can control how sensitive and understanding you are of how they feel, if you don't care then you don't.

fj1200
11-30-2010, 11:11 AM
...you think there's too much shame? =/

I think there's far too little...

True, see the internet for examples.

darin
11-30-2010, 11:47 AM
Liberals/progressives generally seek to impress upon society the unspectacular human. To the godless, we aren't above the animals. Things like the sexual experience become mechanical. There's no concern about psychological or emotional aspects. There's no 'joining' of two folks - it's purely physical pleasure.

They, IMO are selling themselves short. Having sex with a woman is fantastic. If I'm in love with her, it's indescribable.

abso
11-30-2010, 11:56 AM
Each of us is here because our mothers and fathers had sex at least once. So, considering that most of us would rather exist than not exist, why is sex so often perceived as dark, shameful, and complicated?

In an ideal world, sex SHOULD be about on the same level as a trip to the amusement park. Clearly you don't want to go with someone who's sick or who's likely to make you sick. Nor would you want to go with just any random person: we all have our own tastes about who makes for good company, and there should be no feelings of being hurt or rejected if someone tells you that you're not the right company for them.

Beyond this, there's no need for the process to become overcomplicated. Something is seriously wrong if you have to bribe someone to go to the amusement park with you, or if you have lingering ideas about the amusement park being an evil, shameful place.

since you posted this in the religion forum, what do you think that the religion should say about your amusement park "Free Sex" ?

LuvRPgrl
11-30-2010, 12:11 PM
...you think there's too much shame? =/

I think there's far too little, from about 5th year (16 year olds +) in my school the converstaion the majoirty of the time was spent discussing who'd slept with who and who other people were going to sleep with and so forth, and shame was absent in all of those conversations.

Maybe sex as a concept doesn't mean that much to you, fair enough, but don't try and break it down into ethical axioms, it just doesn't work.

Also, lveRPgirl, as an aside, "We are humans, not animals" no, we are Humans AND animals.

DUDE, is that avatar a self portrait?
Did you do the artwork if thats just someone else?
If so, its pretty awesome. Their is a LOT of artistic talent in my family, so I'm not just blowing hot air. I like that sketch

Anyways, YOU may be human AND animal, but I'm not. Im simply Human.....
Just kinda joking, its really semantics and I understand what you are saying, but we are QUITE DISTINCT FROM HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF ALL AND ANY SPECIES THAT EVER EXISTED, and NONE of them were ever capable of drawing a sketch like your avatar.


The fact that intimacy is fairly important to you personally (and to me personally) doesn't support the idea that it has to be required for everyone. Many people have so-called "fuck buddies," and although it's not a choice I'd make, there's nothing inherently wrong with it.

You know, I read this again, and I have to say one more thing,,,,

hold on,,,,,sip,,,,,sip,,,,,sip,,,,,bite, ,,,,,crunch,,,,swallow,,,sip,,,,sip,,,swallow


ok, maybe we cant make intimacy a requirement, but I will take the responsablility of explaining to my kids how intimate sex is so much more fantastic than one night stands. I do remember some of the one nighters, but mostly I remember the girls I was with than the sex,,but all of my greatest memories of sex that still linger on ....

oppps, hold on, Etta Jones............

ok, Im back,
WERE TIMES OF GREAT INTIMACY, MY WIFE TOOK ME PLACES NO ONE NIGHTER EVER DID,
and I can easily still go back to those times of intimacy, they were so intense unlike one nighters


opps, stolen identity, gotta up the volume,,,,
ok, Im back...

and trust me, I come from the 70's, not bragging, but sex was so open and free and easy, and I had no parents, NO PARENTS to teach me any restraint, and I was able to "get laid" every night by a different girl. It was amazingly easy, all you had to do was drive around and girls were hitch-hiking, which was code for, "looking for a party"
Wilt Chamberlain had nothing on us, even the ugly looking dudes had no problem getting laid.....

apple0154
11-30-2010, 01:12 PM
Each of us is here because our mothers and fathers had sex at least once. So, considering that most of us would rather exist than not exist, why is sex so often perceived as dark, shameful, and complicated?

In an ideal world, sex SHOULD be about on the same level as a trip to the amusement park. Clearly you don't want to go with someone who's sick or who's likely to make you sick. Nor would you want to go with just any random person: we all have our own tastes about who makes for good company, and there should be no feelings of being hurt or rejected if someone tells you that you're not the right company for them.

Beyond this, there's no need for the process to become overcomplicated. Something is seriously wrong if you have to bribe someone to go to the amusement park with you, or if you have lingering ideas about the amusement park being an evil, shameful place.

As long as you don't say to a gal, "Hey, can I use your body like an amusement park?" :laugh:

I do agree that society, in general, has problems with sex. For example, condom use is advocated, however, should a parent witness a condom accidentally falling out of their daughter's purse or one in their son's pocket on laundry day usually all hell breaks loose.

As for adults I think a lot of them who are not having sex just don't feel like it, at least not with persons they know. For example, more than a few married couples lose interest, both men and women.

For me, it's not so much the intimacy as it is the desire. I'm sure we all have people we confide in but the desire for sex just isn't there.

Another example would be oral sex. It shouldn't make any difference the gender of the person performing it but I don't think most straight people would be turned on by a member of the same sex.

Humans are strange creatures. :coffee:

Palin Rider
11-30-2010, 01:20 PM
since you posted this in the religion forum, what do you think that the religion should say about your amusement park "Free Sex" ?

Technically it's the "religion and ethics" forum, but for the record, most Western religions teach ideas that are much more harmful to people than beneficial when it comes to sex.

In a way, that's understandable, because in a culture where the oldest son inherited everything, it was critical to know whose kid was whose. A more liberal attitude toward sex would have created big problems in such a society.

abso
11-30-2010, 01:41 PM
Technically it's the "religion and ethics" forum, but for the record, most Western religions teach ideas that are much more harmful to people than beneficial when it comes to sex.

In a way, that's understandable, because in a culture where the oldest son inherited everything, it was critical to know whose kid was whose. A more liberal attitude toward sex would have created big problems in such a society.

so the idea is that because religions have some more harmful things than sex, then sex should be allowed ?

instead of discussing if other things are more harmful or not, shouldnt we be discussing if sex is harmful or not, and why was it forbidden in all the religions in the first place.

and even if you discuss it from the ethics aspect, where do you think ethics came from, what are ethics to you ?

ethics are just the concept of right and wrong, it can vary from each perspective, i see sex is wrong, and you see sex is right, so we have different opinions, which opinion is right and which is wrong and who decides ?

should we build our judgement on perspectives which vary from one to another ?, there must be something that we all see as the right thing, or the wrong thing, so the thing that shows us whats right and whats wrong is religion, which is the basic ground of ethics.

ethics existed long before religions, ethics were not a creation of religion, its a creation of humanity, and it existed as long as the humanity existed, but when it comes to sex, then ethics differs in different cultures, one culture allow it and the other forbid it, so when both cultures abide by the same religion, it doesnt matter if they see sex is right or wrong, they will both see that its wrong because of their religion which reformed their ethics.

again, what does your religion think of sex, does it think that its like amusement park or not ?

and also, what does your ethics think about sex, does your ethics tell you that its like amusement park ?

and also, what do you want to teach your son or daughter, that sex is like an amusement park and everyone should play with it as much as he\she desires ?

LuvRPgrl
11-30-2010, 03:11 PM
ha, I was outside planting palms and flowers,

YEA, I KNOW ITS CRAZY COLD OUTSIDE, I THINK ITS DOWN TO 60 DEGREES TODAY,,,,,,,,

butk I was listening to the radio and the great love songs,,,,hmmm,

made me wonder how much great music has been written about:

1) Intimate love
2) One night stands
3) women who have broken mens hearts hahahha, ok, sometimes men break womens hearts tooooo




Another example would be oral sex. It shouldn't make any difference the gender of the person performing it but I don't think most straight people would be turned on by a member of the same sex.

Are you stark raving mad??????????

It is THE MOST IMPORTANT PART....

If who the person is that is performing doesnt matter, I might as well mastur.........


HMMMMM, is this Psychoblues in disguise????

Palin Rider
11-30-2010, 03:57 PM
Liberals/progressives generally seek to impress upon society the unspectacular human. To the godless, we aren't above the animals. Things like the sexual experience become mechanical. There's no concern about psychological or emotional aspects. There's no 'joining' of two folks - it's purely physical pleasure.

They, IMO are selling themselves short. Having sex with a woman is fantastic. If I'm in love with her, it's indescribable.

You are a sexual being, Darin. However, that fact has nothing at all to do with how spectacular or unspectacular you are. No sense trying to turn the topic of sex into something it isn't.

Noir
11-30-2010, 07:44 PM
DUDE, is that avatar a self portrait?
Did you do the artwork if thats just someone else?
If so, its pretty awesome. Their is a LOT of artistic talent in my family, so I'm not just blowing hot air. I like that sketch

It was drawn for me, and i loveit :) this wee pic commbines the art and the image it was based on...
http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j176/jonathan-mcc/QLB-2-1.jpg?t=1275387671


Anyways, YOU may be human AND animal, but I'm not. Im simply Human.....
Just kinda joking, its really semantics and I understand what you are saying, but we are QUITE DISTINCT FROM HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF ALL AND ANY SPECIES THAT EVER EXISTED, and NONE of them were ever capable of drawing a sketch like your avatar.

If i may steal some words from Jill...(can't memo her second name) "There isn't a sharp line dividing humans from the rest of the animal kingdom, its a very wuzzy line, Its a very wuzzy line and its getting wuzzier all the time. The more we look the more we see animals doing things that we in our arrogance use to think was just human."

darin
11-30-2010, 07:57 PM
You are a sexual being, Darin. However, that fact has nothing at all to do with how spectacular or unspectacular you are. No sense trying to turn the topic of sex into something it isn't.

I don't understand your point.

LuvRPgrl
11-30-2010, 08:09 PM
I don't understand your point.

I second that

Noir
11-30-2010, 08:21 PM
I don't understand your point.


I second that

I....I think he wants you Darin...

Palin Rider
11-30-2010, 08:44 PM
I don't understand your point.

My point is that when you try to bundle the physical aspects of sex with emotions and psychology, you end up grossly overcomplicating the concept.

In other words, my point is to keep it simple.

(And Noir, you're a sexual being, too. Every one of us is. Doesn't mean that I or anybody else wants to fuck the entire world.)

Noir
11-30-2010, 09:07 PM
I was joking =/

but as a pedantic aside, some folk are 'A-sexual'

Palin Rider
11-30-2010, 10:08 PM
I was joking =/

but as a pedantic aside, some folk are 'A-sexual'

:)

My apologies; I should have said "nearly every one of us is a sexual being."

LuvRPgrl
11-30-2010, 10:35 PM
My point is that when you try to bundle the physical aspects of sex with emotions and psychology, you end up grossly overcomplicating the concept.

In other words, my point is to keep it simple.

(And Noir, you're a sexual being, too. Every one of us is. Doesn't mean that I or anybody else wants to fuck the entire world.)

Are you trying to say you can even manage to "unbundle" the physical part from the emotions/psychology aspect?

I think some people try, but it simply cant be done. Sex STARTS in the brain, and all aspects of it are ultimately controlled by it.

Palin Rider
11-30-2010, 10:59 PM
Are you trying to say you can even manage to "unbundle" the physical part from the emotions/psychology aspect?I'm not sure that everyone can, but many people can.


I think some people try, but it simply cant be done. Sex STARTS in the brain, and all aspects of it are ultimately controlled by it.
Sex starts in the "lizard brain;" it's the higher reasoning in the cerebral cortex that overcomplicates it.

SassyLady
12-01-2010, 12:17 AM
I'm not sure that everyone can, but many people can.


Sex starts in the "lizard brain;" it's the higher reasoning in the cerebral cortex that overcomplicates it.

So I guess people who just want to be "fuck buddies" are just lizards after all.

Mr. P
12-01-2010, 12:27 AM
Sex without the emotions/psychology aspect is simply just screwing. Short lived when the encounter ends.

Sex with the emotions/psychology aspect is Love. Long lived after the encounter ends.

And you can take that to the bank!

darin
12-01-2010, 04:57 AM
I....I think he wants you Darin...

Who doesnt? :)


My point is that when you try to bundle the physical aspects of sex with emotions and psychology, you end up grossly overcomplicating the concept.

In other words, my point is to keep it simple.

(And Noir, you're a sexual being, too. Every one of us is. Doesn't mean that I or anybody else wants to fuck the entire world.)

That's a little like saying "Don't bother with the MATH part of Rocket Science...just throw something up into the sky..."

chloe
12-01-2010, 08:33 AM
So I guess people who just want to be "fuck buddies" are just lizards after all.

Yeah and i heard they hang out at truck stops:laugh2:

LuvRPgrl
12-01-2010, 11:46 AM
I have spent the last five years cultivating the self control to not use swear language, and I am very happy about it....

especially considering I hang out with members of AA and NA alot, whose mouths would make a swearing sailor seem somewhat like a sweetie,

But one thing that drives me absolutely OUT OF MY #$@%^$^&%^%*&
MIND, IS THIS MESSAGE:

YOU MUST SPREAD SOME REP AROUND BEFORE YOU GIVE IT TO DMP AGAIN..........

Great post DMP, right on the money, and trust me, I have tried sending tons of rockets into space without any math, metaphorically speaking,,,

and I have learned,,,,DONT DO IT,,,,,,,,,,,

Jeff
12-01-2010, 11:53 AM
Yeah and i heard they hang out at truck stops:laugh2:

They do and for a couple dollars ya can have all the casual sex ya want :laugh:

But for the normal people casual sex is fun for a bit, sex with Love is a true treasure, looks like a few in this thread have never found that treasure, guess thats why one would compare it to a amusement park :rolleyes:

Palin Rider
12-01-2010, 01:58 PM
But for the normal people casual sex is fun for a bit, sex with Love is a true treasureSex with love feels better than sex without love, of course. That isn't the point of the OP.


looks like a few in this thread have never found that treasure, guess thats why one would compare it to a amusement park :rolleyes:Finding love is dumb luck. Your contempt for those who aren't as lucky makes me doubt that anyone ever loved you.

SassyLady
12-01-2010, 02:33 PM
Sex with love feels better than sex without love, of course. That isn't the point of the OP.

Finding love is dumb luck. Your contempt for those who aren't as lucky makes me doubt that anyone ever loved you.

Disagree with you that finding love is dumb luck. I've had the fortune to love and be loved multiple times. To be loved, one has to be lovable, not lucky.

Palin Rider
12-01-2010, 03:05 PM
Disagree with you that finding love is dumb luck. I've had the fortune to love and be loved multiple times. To be loved, one has to be lovable, not lucky.

Mutual love is definitely dumb luck. People can feel like they're falling in love with you when you really don't feel the same way about them (and vice versa). By the time people get to their 30s, they've experienced both sides of that situation at least once.

SassyLady
12-01-2010, 03:09 PM
Mutual love is definitely dumb luck. People can feel like they're falling in love with you when you really don't feel the same way about them (and vice versa). By the time people get to their 30s, they've experienced both sides of that situation at least once.

Still disagree with you that mutual love is dumb luck. If you are lovable and willing to love, there are plenty of opportunities.

The hard part is finding someone you can actually live with .... and love.

Palin Rider
12-01-2010, 03:46 PM
Still disagree with you that mutual love is dumb luck. If you are lovable and willing to love, there are plenty of opportunities.

The hard part is finding someone you can actually live with .... and love.

I don't consider it love until you do find someone you can live with for the long term. Otherwise I call it infatuation.

Mr. P
12-01-2010, 03:52 PM
Mutual love is definitely dumb luck. People can feel like they're falling in love with you when you really don't feel the same way about them (and vice versa). By the time people get to their 30s, they've experienced both sides of that situation at least once.
There's a big difference between lust and Love, most under 30 can't tell the difference.

LuvRPgrl
12-01-2010, 03:54 PM
Still disagree with you that mutual love is dumb luck. If you are lovable and willing to love, there are plenty of opportunities.

The hard part is finding someone you can actually live with .... and love.

I actually think it is important to have your basic beliefs the same, mostly about religion and what size family you want, a few others, but I find chemistry to be the one thing that always brings me back to my wife after a while of acting like the one in my avatar :)

SassyLady
12-01-2010, 04:18 PM
I don't consider it love until you do find someone you can live with for the long term. Otherwise I call it infatuation.

Wrong again ... you sure do put narrow parameters on what it takes to love someone.

Palin Rider
12-01-2010, 04:49 PM
Wrong again ... you sure do put narrow parameters on what it takes to love someone.

Nope. Infatuation IS love (look it up if you don't believe me); it's just stupid and immature love.

SassyLady
12-01-2010, 06:02 PM
Nope. Infatuation IS love (look it up if you don't believe me); it's just stupid and immature love.

Didn't mean the infatuation isn't love ... just that you were wrong thinking that it isn't love until you find someone you know you can live with for the long term.

apple0154
12-01-2010, 07:12 PM
Are you stark raving mad??????????

It is THE MOST IMPORTANT PART....

If who the person is that is performing doesnt matter, I might as well mastur.........


HMMMMM, is this Psychoblues in disguise????

I originally wrote, "Another example would be oral sex. It shouldn't make any difference the gender of the person performing it but I don't think most straight people would be turned on by a member of the same sex."

What I was attempting to show is it's not intimacy so much as desire that results in sex. If it was intimacy people would be having sex with their best friend and I used oral sex as an example as it doesn't require the "best friend" to have any sex-specific parts.

In other words it's the sexual attraction that results in sex. If intimacy played a major role then surely one would be having sex with their best friend they've known for years and shared intimate details.


Nope. Infatuation IS love (look it up if you don't believe me); it's just stupid and immature love.

I have to disagree. I feel infatuation or sexual attraction is the cornerstone for "couples" relationships. That's what causes one to offer 100% rather than the 50-50 deal.

All too often "mature" love is based on things others can acquire (education, finances, enjoying certain activities, etc.) which means there will always be someone better coming along. There is nothing really special about ones partner if anyone can acquire the qualities one originally based the relationship on.

That's why relationships do not last today. We're "taught" to seek out compatibility as if we're seeking a buddy or pal and, as with a pal, when they change activities/interests we tend to grow distant.

Our greatest romantic stories, from fairy tales (Cinderella) to real life (*Edward VIII), show us "compatibility" or similarities are not what romantic relationships are all about.

*Edward VIII of England......Only months into his reign, Edward caused a constitutional crisis by proposing marriage to the American divorcée Wallis Simpson...... Rather than give up Mrs. Simpson, Edward chose to abdicate. (I'm not permitted to post the reference URL)

Jeff
12-01-2010, 11:49 PM
Sex with love feels better than sex without love, of course. That isn't the point of the OP.

Finding love is dumb luck. Your contempt for those who aren't as lucky makes me doubt that anyone ever loved you.

Wow my heart is broken :laugh:

PR me showing contempt for those comparing sex with a amusement park is wrong , I feel sorry for them , see you call it luck, I call it a blessing when two people actually love each other

I do consider myself Blessed to have found a woman that Loves me, and I can say I truly Love

I think if ya compare sex with a amusement park ( or it being on the same level :rolleyes:) then your exactly right , it would be nothing more than dumb luck

Palin Rider
12-02-2010, 01:36 PM
PR me showing contempt for those comparing sex with a amusement park is wrong , I feel sorry for them , see you call it luck, I call it a blessing when two people actually love each other
We don't need you to feel sorry for us, any more than the woman you say you love needs me to feel sorry for her. :laugh:

Back to the topic, is there anything else you want to say about ethics and sex?

Jeff
12-02-2010, 11:24 PM
We don't need you to feel sorry for us, any more than the woman you say you love needs me to feel sorry for her. :laugh:

Back to the topic, is there anything else you want to say about ethics and sex?

Really I don't go out of my way wanting to feel sorry for ya , but it is what makes me me, kind of like when ya see the ugly little dog at the pound , ya just can't help feeling sorry for it

OK PR I don't want to argue with ya, I just stated my opinion is all , look as a token of my friendship why don't ya come to GA and I will give ya a pass for Six Flags :laugh:

Palin Rider
12-03-2010, 04:23 PM
Really I don't go out of my way wanting to feel sorry for ya , but it is what makes me me, kind of like when ya see the ugly little dog at the pound , ya just can't help feeling sorry for itSome of the ugliest dogs are also the happiest...


OK PR I don't want to argue with ya, I just stated my opinion is all , look as a token of my friendship why don't ya come to GA and I will give ya a pass for Six Flags :laugh:

Sounds fun. Just let me know the next 2-day window when it isn't either sweltering or freezing.
:coffee:
(And I'll give you AND your current lady-love passes to "California's Great America" - not Six Flags, but the same deal - if you want to come out to my home territory. Deal?)

Jeff
12-03-2010, 11:44 PM
Some of the ugliest dogs are also the happiest...



Sounds fun. Just let me know the next 2-day window when it isn't either sweltering or freezing.
:coffee:
(And I'll give you AND your current lady-love passes to "California's Great America" - not Six Flags, but the same deal - if you want to come out to my home territory. Deal?)

I have to agree with ya about the dogs, LOL, all of mine are rather ugly, well except the pit, as for the weather, I will have you know there is a week at least that the weather is fantastic every year, LOL, actually where I am in GA we have a lot of nice weather, it does get to hot and sometimes to cold, but there is plenty of in between to go around, as for Cali , not really my style out there but we will see

LuvRPgrl
12-04-2010, 08:35 AM
Sex with love feels better than sex without love, of course. That isn't the point of the OP.

Finding love is dumb luck. Your contempt for those who aren't as lucky makes me doubt that anyone ever loved you.



waaaa, waaa, finding love isnt luck, its about making sacrafices, doing the right thing, attracting the right person, having good character and values.

Do you think you are gonna find your true love while spending time with women who are potential fuck buddies.

You are either looking for a fuck buddy,or a lover,,,,cant do both,,,sorry, thats just the way the stars line up

LuvRPgrl
12-04-2010, 08:38 AM
Mutual love is definitely dumb luck. People can feel like they're falling in love with you when you really don't feel the same way about them (and vice versa). By the time people get to their 30s, they've experienced both sides of that situation at least once.

I find the experience of those who have found love to be much more true than the opinions of someone who hasnt found true love.

Palin Rider
12-04-2010, 03:48 PM
waaaa, waaa, finding love isnt luck, its about making sacrafices, doing the right thing, attracting the right person, having good character and values.

Do you think you are gonna find your true love while spending time with women who are potential fuck buddies.

You are either looking for a fuck buddy,or a lover,,,,cant do both,,,sorry, thats just the way the stars line up

That last sentence is the most nonsensical piece of BS I've heard in my life.

Palin Rider
12-04-2010, 03:50 PM
I find the experience of those who have found love to be much more true than the opinions of someone who hasnt found true love.

Typical. The people one says one loves make them miserable, so they go out and attack others who aren't miserable.

logroller
12-04-2010, 07:47 PM
Religions, and the ethics they promote, served well to ensure successful procreation.

Contraceptives challenge our long-held practices of love with sex; as we don't need to be concerned with procreation. The influence sex has upon society is no longer bounded by its core purpose. This is why many religions discourage, or even forbid, their use.

I agree with PalinRider that some views on sharing the physical joys of sex outside of a loving partnership have become unrealistic in today's world. That isn't to say that sex or love is akin to a parkride though.

Sex. inevitably, relates to need for attachment. If you go out screwing everything, anytime, just because you can; eventually you'll find yourself alone, without anybody who cares to share physical sex or love. There are people who don't care about ethical implications of sex without procreation, but alas -- they are a dying breed!

SassyLady
12-05-2010, 03:37 AM
This is a very good source of information regarding sexual intimacy from a scientific standpoint.

I thought the article on the "Coolidge Effect" was really interesting.

http://www.reuniting.info/science/coolidge_effect

Abbey Marie
12-06-2010, 12:04 AM
So sex is like an amusement park? Maybe so; without true intimacy and love, it can seem like all you get is two hours of waiting to achieve about 10 seconds of screaming fun. Then it's all tiredness and looking for the exit.

SassyLady
12-06-2010, 12:45 AM
So sex is like an amusement park? Maybe so; without true intimacy and love, it can seem like all you get is two hours of waiting to achieve about 10 seconds of screaming fun. Then it's all tiredness and looking for the exit.

:laugh::laugh::laugh:

logroller
12-06-2010, 08:26 AM
This is a very good source of information regarding sexual intimacy from a scientific standpoint.

I thought the article on the "Coolidge Effect" was really interesting.

http://www.reuniting.info/science/coolidge_effect

Re: the above URL-- Loved the close "Clearly, you would be better off working toward lasting harmony with a partner than pursuing a roller coaster ride of thrills and heartaches."

I've also heard that dopamine releases after childbirth are integral to the attachment of mother and child-- the human body is indeed a marvelous thing!

SassyLady
12-06-2010, 02:51 PM
Re: the above URL-- Loved the close "Clearly, you would be better off working toward lasting harmony with a partner than pursuing a roller coaster ride of thrills and heartaches."

I've also heard that dopamine releases after childbirth are integral to the attachment of mother and child-- the human body is indeed a marvelous thing!

It was a good find, yes?! Very appropriate for this thread. Interesting that we haven't heard anything from PR since I posted that link. Wonder if he read any of it and what he thinks.

Palin Rider
12-06-2010, 10:28 PM
It was a good find, yes?! Very appropriate for this thread. Interesting that we haven't heard anything from PR since I posted that link. Wonder if he read any of it and what he thinks.

Just got done with it. Thanks for posting, it was definitely an interesting read.

Since you seem to agree that the "Coolidge effect" is a part of our evolutionary biology, I'm puzzled as to why you'd be upset by the OP's premise. Not to mention why you claim to be a Cougar. :laugh:

SassyLady
12-06-2010, 11:04 PM
Just got done with it. Thanks for posting, it was definitely an interesting read.

Since you seem to agree that the "Coolidge effect" is a part of our evolutionary biology, I'm puzzled as to why you'd be upset by the OP's premise. Not to mention why you claim to be a Cougar. :laugh:

I didn't say I agree with it PR...reread the post.

Palin Rider
12-06-2010, 11:53 PM
I didn't say I agree with it PR...reread the post.

You also didn't say you disagree with it. (Yes, Virginia, I reread the post.)

In my experience, people tend to agree with the articles they post unless they say otherwise. Seems to be the pattern here in DP as well. (shrug)

SassyLady
12-07-2010, 01:03 AM
You also didn't say you disagree with it. (Yes, Virginia, I reread the post.)

In my experience, people tend to agree with the articles they post unless they say otherwise. Seems to be the pattern here in DP as well. (shrug)

And some of post information that is "interesting" so that either side can learn something if they are truly interested.

I post a lot of things I find to be interesting so that there is discussion/debate and then I might form an opinion as to whether I agree or disagree.

Sorry if I don't fit your stereotype.

logroller
12-07-2010, 01:42 PM
And some of post information that is "interesting" so that either side can learn something if they are truly interested.

I post a lot of things I find to be interesting so that there is discussion/debate and then I might form an opinion as to whether I agree or disagree.

Sorry if I don't fit your stereotype.

That's what so dangerous about stereotypes -- they work best when there's some truth and we can draw conclusions as to the extent of the similarity. Check out my sig.

Palin Rider
12-07-2010, 03:44 PM
And some of post information that is "interesting" so that either side can learn something if they are truly interested.

I post a lot of things I find to be interesting so that there is discussion/debate and then I might form an opinion as to whether I agree or disagree.

Sorry if I don't fit your stereotype.

No apology needed, but it would help if you could enlighten us about your opinions on the article. If that's not too much to ask...

SassyLady
12-07-2010, 07:39 PM
No apology needed, but it would help if you could enlighten us about your opinions on the article. If that's not too much to ask...

I found it to be very informative and thought provoking and think everyone should read it. Lots of information on that website especially if you're someone who doesn't want to live their live in an amusement park.

Palin Rider
12-07-2010, 08:22 PM
I found it to be very informative and thought provoking and think everyone should read it. Lots of information on that website especially if you're someone who doesn't want to live their live in an amusement park.

Amusement parks are fun, but I'd never try to live my life there. :eek:

Most of what goes on in life happens outside the bedroom, obviously.

logroller
12-08-2010, 03:49 AM
Amusement parks are fun, but I'd never try to live my life there. :eek:

Most of what goes on in life happens outside the bedroom, obviously.

Absence makes the heat grow fonder:laugh:

PostmodernProphet
12-08-2010, 03:29 PM
Absence makes the heat grow fonder:laugh:

actually, I think that's abstinence......

Abbey Marie
12-09-2010, 11:25 AM
actually, I think that's abstinence......

Familiarity breeds contempt

PostmodernProphet
12-09-2010, 06:34 PM
So sex is like an amusement park? Maybe so; without true intimacy and love, it can seem like all you get is two hours of waiting to achieve about 10 seconds of screaming fun. Then it's all tiredness and looking for the exit.

omigorsh.....this must be preserved for posterity

Palin Rider
12-09-2010, 11:25 PM
So sex is like an amusement park? Maybe so; without true intimacy and love, it can seem like all you get is two hours of waiting to achieve about 10 seconds of screaming fun. Then it's all tiredness and looking for the exit.

The trick is to go when all the kids are in school and the lines are short.

kowalskil
01-09-2011, 05:24 PM
Each of us is here because our mothers and fathers had sex at least once. So, considering that most of us would rather exist than not exist, why is sex so often perceived as dark, shameful, and complicated?

I think that no more than 10% of adults perceive sex in that way.

kowalskil
01-09-2011, 05:27 PM
I think that no more than 10% of adults perceive sex in that way.

I should have added that, in this context, an adult can be defined as a person between 20 and 60.

Palin Rider
01-09-2011, 05:53 PM
I think that no more than 10% of adults perceive sex in that way.

I hope you're right, but do you base that number on anything but a wild guess? Not that there's anything wrong with guessing: I'm just curious about where it came from.

revelarts
01-09-2011, 11:58 PM
Each of us is here because our mothers and fathers had sex at least once. So, considering that most of us would rather exist than not exist, why is sex so often perceived as dark, shameful, and complicated?

Well we Crap everyday but it doesn't mean we should do it anywhere at anytime in front of everyone or make a show of it.
Does it mean we hate our bodily functions if we close the door to take a wizz?

We wash everyday (mostly) but it doesn't mean you make a spectacle of it.
Does it mean we hate our bodies if we regularly close the door to take a shower?

Is modesty now evil?
Is self control a vice?

Saying that sex has proper times, place and arrangements does not mean it's "dark, shameful, and complicated".

Palin Rider
01-10-2011, 03:21 PM
Well we Crap everyday but it doesn't mean we should do it anywhere at anytime in front of everyone or make a show of it.
Does it mean we hate our bodily functions if we close the door to take a wizz?

We wash everyday (mostly) but it doesn't mean you make a spectacle of it.
Does it mean we hate our bodies if we regularly close the door to take a shower?
Was I advocating sex in public? No. Don't be silly.


Saying that sex has proper times, place and arrangements does not mean it's "dark, shameful, and complicated".
And yet many people still believe it is.