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Shadow
07-26-2011, 11:53 PM
NEW YORK (http://www.bing.com/maps/?v=2&where1=NEW YORK&sty=h&form=msdate) — Men are more concerned with their partner's body type than women but they also seem to value family more highly, according to a new survey released on Tuesday.

Nearly half of men questioned in the poll of 70,000 people said they would ditch a partner who gained weight, compared to only 20 percent of women.
Two-third of men also said they had fantasized about their partner's friends, while only one-third of women had done so.
"Even as men are getting more comfortable with meeting their girlfriends (http://www.debatepolicy.com/#) online and less anxious about who she's 'friending' there, other romantic behaviors have proven to be timeless ones: chivalry isn't dead, size matters, and women forgive while men forget," said James Bassil, editor-in-chief of AskMen, which conducted the poll jointly with Cosmopolitan.com.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/43898300

chloe
07-26-2011, 11:59 PM
oh well pass the Pâté:laugh2:

Shadow
07-27-2011, 12:22 AM
oh well pass the Pâté:laugh2:

Ha! Me too. Most of the men I have known like the Hooter girl types, and I ain't never gonna be a big boobed size zero...so pass it over here when you are done. :cheers2:

chloe
07-27-2011, 12:34 AM
Ha! Me too. Most of the men I have known like the Hooter girl types, and I ain't never gonna be a big boobed size zero...so pass it over here when you are done. :cheers2:

Yeah me neither sister, I like to eat and I got the knockers too:laugh2: I did a poll once at another board and all the men there said they didn't mind a little extra cushion, maybe they were lying but since its the net they don't really have to be polite huh?

They posted pics of pretty women who were a little plump but not morbidly obese.


Still I really do want to take this extra weight off I have quit working out for a couple months now and i feel lousy. I have been seeing this commercial constantly about "gout" I think I must have it, and NO BUNNY (in case you reading this) I ain't imagining a new disease.:rolleyes:

Thunderknuckles
07-27-2011, 03:00 AM
NEW YORK (http://www.bing.com/maps/?v=2&where1=NEW YORK&sty=h&form=msdate) — Men are more concerned with their partner's body type than women but they also seem to value family more highly, according to a new survey released on Tuesday.

Nearly half of men questioned in the poll of 70,000 people said they would ditch a partner who gained weight, compared to only 20 percent of women.
Two-third of men also said they had fantasized about their partner's friends, while only one-third of women had done so.
"Even as men are getting more comfortable with meeting their girlfriends (http://www.debatepolicy.com/#) online and less anxious about who she's 'friending' there, other romantic behaviors have proven to be timeless ones: chivalry isn't dead, size matters, and women forgive while men forget," said James Bassil, editor-in-chief of AskMen, which conducted the poll jointly with Cosmopolitan.com.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/43898300
I've had a few drinks and this is a topic that I am VERY passionate about so forgive me if I sound crass. With that said...
The entire poll is bullshit. They are asking the wrong questions and don't have a damn clue.

Here it is real simple:
1. A man doesn't care about his woman gaining weight as long it is reasonable. Child birth will add pounds, no problem. Age will add pounds, no problem. Being lazy and becoming obese, we have a problem
2. Fuck your man, know what he likes, and fuck him well. VERY well.
3. Cook for your man and make him a meal that he will salivate over.

Take everything I said as it applies to a woman, child birth notwithstanding, and apply it to yourself as a man, especially number 2.

Do this, and nobody will be getting "ditched" on either side of the equation, unless they're an idiot.

darin
07-27-2011, 08:07 AM
From the link:
Nearly 80 percent of men said they feel cheated by the divorce courts

:bs:

98% of men get cheated by divorce courts.



I've had a few drinks and this is a topic that I am VERY passionate about so forgive me if I sound crass. With that said...
The entire poll is bullshit. They are asking the wrong questions and don't have a damn clue.

Here it is real simple:
1. A man doesn't care about his woman gaining weight as long it is reasonable. Child birth will add pounds, no problem. Age will add pounds, no problem. Being lazy and becoming obese, we have a problem


Absolutely. "Gained weight"? Maybe the question was: "If your woman gained 100lbs...." Not 'If your woman gained ANY WEIGHT WHATSOEVER...'



2. Fuck your man, know what he likes, and fuck him well. VERY well.

Right - at least put up an effort to help your man feel like a s3xually-proficient/capable/even wonderful playmate.



3. Cook for your man and make him a meal that he will salivate over.


Why would a man want to be a meal he'd salivate over?



Take everything I said as it applies to a woman, child birth notwithstanding, and apply it to yourself as a man, especially number 2.

Do this, and nobody will be getting "ditched" on either side of the equation, unless they're an idiot.

One thing i'd like to bring up -

Our society is so jacked up with how we instruct folks on living with a partner. We need to be selfless towards one-another, within a committed relationship. Even a little co-dependent. Loving one's spouse more than ones-self - when both are doing that, things tend to work out. When both do that, there really isn't ever any 'cheating' - which is a word I abhor. As an aside- why the hell is it a 'woman's husband CHEATED on her..' when most-likely, the woman failed to even attempt to connect with her man. I've seen it dozens of times - overbearing, victim-mentality women who dog their man, humiliate him, refuse to adapt to HIS wishes or desires suddenly clamor for 'sympathy' when their man finally succumbs to a woman who does a LOT to help him feel like, and treats him like a Man - not just a 'male person'.

Anywho....yeah. Silly survey.

Course, my wife has a better body than the day we got married, so...I'm good

andrew2382
07-27-2011, 09:42 AM
skinny girl, fat girl who cares....top of their heads all look the same in my eyes :laugh2:

CSM
07-27-2011, 09:49 AM
Physical appearance is very low on my list of characteristics I find appealing in a woman. I'll take intelligence, common sense, sense of humor, self confidence, sense of responsibility, mutual respect, integrity, loyalty, mutual interests and dedication over looks anyday. The wrapping doesn't matter, it's the content (at least for me).

darin
07-27-2011, 09:53 AM
I agree - but it IS nice to have my wife maintain this figure:

http://www.debatepolicy.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=1188&stc=1&d=1213707247

:D

Little-Acorn
07-27-2011, 10:08 AM
Half of men would dump woman who got fat (http://www.debatepolicy.com/showthread.php?31908-Half-of-men-would-dump-woman-who-got-fat)


The title of the thread is inaccurate - it does not reflect the content of the article.

A more accurate title would be:

Half of men CLAIM they would dump woman who got fat

What percentage of men have actually encountered that situation, and have had to fish or cut bait... and have actually dumped the woman?

I'd guess it's actually a whole lot lower than the percentage who (as the article describes) merely mouthed off about doing so.

chloe
07-27-2011, 10:23 AM
Initially that is what attracts most people to each other. My family placed ALOT of importance on looks, My biological Dad and my mother were both Hairdressers, my sister did modeling and my Grandmother was a manicurist, at one time they all worked in the same salon in las vegas. I don't know what happened to me I was the odd duck and people used to ask my family if I was adopted .

:laugh2:



I guess I was just a tomboy and I didn't feel like having to do all the work and prep that I watched my relatives do daily. My sister works out 3 freakin hours a day so she has a nice body. People who watch there diet and exercise earn the compliments and should be recognized for the care they put in to there appearance.

But when it comes to real meaningful love and commitment I always think to myself if this man were a paraplegic and I had to completely 100% totally take care of him am I still in love? I know by answering yes that I am not just attracted to his physical appearances.

Men & Women who cheat or look for affection outside of marriage because the spouse let themselves go or because the spouse didnt give them proper attention are being selfish. They should work on the marriage or divorce because it is "using" another human being who may possibly be invested in them emotionally to stroke there ego and once they feel better they usually disregard the person that served there purpose by caring for them as if there needs or feelings are the only relevance to the marriage or to the affair.

My sister had 3 affairs she is still married. I have never had a physical affair but I have had an emotional one and it felt horrible in retrospect.

Trigg
07-27-2011, 06:43 PM
I'd say most men would rather their wives stay the same size as when they married them. Afterall, physical appearance is part of the attraction.

I've been married for 22 years now and even after 4 kids I'm within a few pounds of when I got married. I know hubby wouldn't leave me if I gained weight, but he would complain about the change. Heck, if he completely gave up on his appearance I wouldn't be thrilled either.

red states rule
07-27-2011, 06:46 PM
I'd say most men would rather their wives stay the same size as when they married them. Afterall, physical appearance is part of the attraction.

I've been married for 22 years now and even after 4 kids I'm within a few pounds of when I got married. I know hubby wouldn't leave me if I gained weight, but he would complain about the change. Heck, if he completely gave up on his appearance I wouldn't be thrilled either.

I must be in a minority. To me, physical looks are secondary. What is most important to me is the beauty inside the person

I struck gold with my GF who is gorgeous inside and out

andrew2382
07-27-2011, 06:50 PM
physical looks are extremely important, its what gets you initially interested into the person. I am married now for 5 years, love my wife, she has put on a few pounds since we got married and 1 kid. She was 105 and is now probably 115...not a huge deal she is still smoking hot.

Would I leave my wife if she gained alot of weight? probably not, but I would try to do everything i could to get her fat ass back into shape lol

red states rule
07-27-2011, 06:52 PM
physical looks are extremely important, its what gets you initially interested into the person. I am married now for 5 years, love my wife, she has put on a few pounds since we got married and 1 kid. She was 105 and is now probably 115...not a huge deal she is still smoking hot.

Would I leave my wife if she gained alot of weight? probably not, but I would try to do everything i could to get her fat ass back into shape lol

My GF is always worried she is gaining weight and comments how her pants are getting tight

I smile and remind her I LOVE her in tight pants

I would never leave her no matter if she gained weight. As I said she is gorgeous inside and out

Trigg
07-27-2011, 06:58 PM
My GF is always worried she is gaining weight and comments how her pants are getting tight

I smile and remind her I LOVE her in tight pants

I would never leave her no matter if she gained weight. As I said she is gorgeous inside and out

It's great that you don't care about physical appearance.


I'm sure most men wouldn't think twice about a few pounds here and there, especially after a few years and a couple of kids. However, if we're talking 50 pounds or so than that is going to be a problem for a lot of men. Sure, they wouldn't leave their wife, but I'm sure the man would be voicing his displeasure.

red states rule
07-27-2011, 07:03 PM
It's great that you don't care about physical appearance.


I'm sure most men wouldn't think twice about a few pounds here and there, especially after a few years and a couple of kids. However, if we're talking 50 pounds or so than that is going to be a problem for a lot of men. Sure, they wouldn't leave their wife, but I'm sure the man would be voicing his displeasure.

Trigg, when we first met we both had gotten divorced and vowed NEVER to marry again. He both had issues - she was worried about her appearance and I was starting to show signs of cancer (but did not know I had it)

Now, we are both comfortable in our skin, and have bonded to a point where that "M" word is being tossed around. She could gain weight and it would not change who she is,

I remind her sometimes when she talks about gaining weight I love the womens movement

Especially when I am behind them. Then I tell her to put on a pair of her tight jeans

Trigg
07-27-2011, 07:10 PM
Trigg, when we first met we both had gotten divorced and vowed NEVER to marry again. He both had issues - she was worried about her appearance and I was starting to show signs of cancer (but did not know I had it)

Now, we are both comfortable in our skin, and have bonded to a point where that "M" word is being tossed around. She could gain weight and it would not change who she is,

I remind her sometimes when she talks about gaining weight I love the womens movement

Especially when I am behind them. Then I tell her to put on a pair of her tight jeans

That's great.

I'm glad you've found the person for you.

red states rule
07-27-2011, 07:11 PM
That's great.

I'm glad you've found the person for you.

Trigg, I found my Pot of Gold at the end of the rainbow

I am a very lucky man

Thanks!!

chloe
07-27-2011, 07:13 PM
Trigg, when we first met we both had gotten divorced and vowed NEVER to marry again. He both had issues - she was worried about her appearance and I was starting to show signs of cancer (but did not know I had it)

Now, we are both comfortable in our skin, and have bonded to a point where that "M" word is being tossed around. She could gain weight and it would not change who she is,

I remind her sometimes when she talks about gaining weight I love the womens movement

Especially when I am behind them. Then I tell her to put on a pair of her tight jeans

Congrats on that and I want an invitation to the Wedding, I like you and wedding cake alot:laugh2:

red states rule
07-27-2011, 07:15 PM
Congrats on that and I want an invitation to the Wedding, I like you and wedding cake alot:laugh2:

The wedding (if it ever happens) is a ways off. First we have to live in the same town

You and all the women here are invited as long as you all wear tight pants :laugh2:

chloe
07-27-2011, 07:22 PM
It's great that you don't care about physical appearance.


I'm sure most men wouldn't think twice about a few pounds here and there, especially after a few years and a couple of kids. However, if we're talking 50 pounds or so than that is going to be a problem for a lot of men. Sure, they wouldn't leave their wife, but I'm sure the man would be voicing his displeasure.

I've seen your pic, you definately have a Fantastic Body !!! My sister had 4 kids too and she has a smoking hot body too but she works out 3 hours a day DANG!

I suspect you are naturally thin and never have really had any weight problem, but even if you ever did have one I don't think your husband would ever leave you over it, as his posts seem pretty clear to me he is very in love with you.

Anyway I don't think it is wrong if people leave each other over weight gain or weight loss my sister cheated on her husband 3 times because he doesn't workout he drinks beer and has a beer belly and she doesnt find him attractive.

I just think that not ALL men base everything on looks or body weight, some do but not all.

Personally I wouldn't base any long term commitment to someone based on there looks, because a chemistry happens for me when I click with who they are inside rather then outside and that is what gets me attracted to them in the first place.

Shadow
07-27-2011, 08:55 PM
I've had a few drinks and this is a topic that I am VERY passionate about so forgive me if I sound crass. With that said...
The entire poll is bullshit. They are asking the wrong questions and don't have a damn clue.

Here it is real simple:
1. A man doesn't care about his woman gaining weight as long it is reasonable. Child birth will add pounds, no problem. Age will add pounds, no problem. Being lazy and becoming obese, we have a problem
2. Fuck your man, know what he likes, and fuck him well. VERY well.
3. Cook for your man and make him a meal that he will salivate over.

Take everything I said as it applies to a woman, child birth notwithstanding, and apply it to yourself as a man, especially number 2.

Do this, and nobody will be getting "ditched" on either side of the equation, unless they're an idiot.

Okay...I agree that all of those listed items are great,but they seem a little on the shallow side to me. I would hope men were a little deeper than that (no offense) but sometimes I do wonder. When you ask a man what they like in a woman...they usually state things like... shared interests,shared values,looks are secondary blah blah blah...but when actually given a choice...they will pick the shallow,skanky woman as long as she has a good body more times then not. I've seen it happen over and over.

Now...I genuinely find people interesting and like to find out what makes them tick,but I have to say that it is very rare (not that it has never happened) that I find a man that is interested in what I think or what I like etc. Especially when the relationship is no longer in the new stage.

I will say this though...I think a good relationship starts out with a strong friendship.

darin
07-28-2011, 06:04 AM
Okay...I agree that all of those listed items are great,but they seem a little on the shallow side to me. I would hope men were a little deeper than that (no offense) but sometimes I do wonder. When you ask a man what they like in a woman...they usually state things like... shared interests,shared values,looks are secondary blah blah blah...but when actually given a choice...they will pick the shallow,skanky woman as long as she has a good body more times then not. I've seen it happen over and over.

Now...I genuinely find people interesting and like to find out what makes them tick,but I have to say that it is very rare (not that it has never happened) that I find a man that is interested in what I think or what I like etc. Especially when the relationship is no longer in the new stage.

I will say this though...I think a good relationship starts out with a strong friendship.

Men want a female who will mate with them. That trumps all - especially if the woman who mates with them conducts herself in a way to stroke the ego (and other parts?) of the man in a way that conveys acceptance of his s3xual prowess.

My ex was, physically, my ideal. However, we didn't synch on very important issues. My wife is nearly the opposite of my ideas (she's too tall, introvert, etc), but when the zombies attack, I want her on my team for a lot of the reasons you listed above.

I'm scared of 'friendship' when thinking of a potential mate. I sorta think a good relationship starts out with a strong sexual/emotional connection. It's easier to teach friendship than passion.

Shadow
07-28-2011, 08:57 AM
Men want a female who will mate with them. That trumps all - especially if the woman who mates with them conducts herself in a way to stroke the ego (and other parts?) of the man in a way that conveys acceptance of his s3xual prowess.

My ex was, physically, my ideal. However, we didn't synch on very important issues. My wife is nearly the opposite of my ideas (she's too tall, introvert, etc), but when the zombies attack, I want her on my team for a lot of the reasons you listed above.

I'm scared of 'friendship' when thinking of a potential mate. I sorta think a good relationship starts out with a strong sexual/emotional connection. It's easier to teach friendship than passion.

Well...I agree...that was pretty much my point also. The characteristics that make a woman a good partner are usually always secondary to getting a good piece of ass (or just the thought of getting a good piece of ass) for a lot of men. However, the woman who has learned the art of stroking your ego,has learned that is also the way to get exactly what she wants from you. This is also the kind of woman most men say they don't like...but usually end up with.

I guess if being used is what you are looking for in a mate that would be the way to go for sure though...women for sex...men through sex. I just wonder how many no where relationships people have to go through before they actually decide what they really need is a "partner"?

darin
07-28-2011, 09:06 AM
Well...I agree...that was pretty much my point also. The characteristics that make a woman a good partner are usually always secondary to getting a good piece of ass (or just the thought of getting a good piece of ass) for a lot of men. However, the woman who has learned the art of stroking your ego,has learned that is also the way to get exactly what she wants from you. This is also the kind of woman most men say they don't like...but usually end up with.


OR....She loves her man and wants to ensure he feels good about that aspect of their relationship. Helping one's partner feel confident in such a very personal area is part of what makes a great relationship. NEVER manipulating; only encouraging.


I guess if being used is what you are looking for in a mate that would be the way to go for sure though...women for sex...men through sex. I just wonder how many no where relationships people have to go through before they actually decide what they really need is a "partner"?

I knew what I wanted in a mate after my first adult relationship. I married a woman who wasn't that. Turns out though, beyond what I 'knew' I wanted, she is who I may 'need'. :) Make sense?

chloe
07-28-2011, 09:46 AM
Men want a female who will mate with them. That trumps all - especially if the woman who mates with them conducts herself in a way to stroke the ego (and other parts?) of the man in a way that conveys acceptance of his s3xual prowess.

My ex was, physically, my ideal. However, we didn't synch on very important issues. My wife is nearly the opposite of my ideas (she's too tall, introvert, etc), but when the zombies attack, I want her on my team for a lot of the reasons you listed above.

I'm scared of 'friendship' when thinking of a potential mate. I sorta think a good relationship starts out with a strong sexual/emotional connection. It's easier to teach friendship than passion.

Agreed Men need nurturing and passionate expressions about how much they excite there woman, it's a affirming of how happy she makes him when she is able to express it in the bedroom.

I was married and divorced two times. Now my first husband was a horrible drunk and he used to beat me up when in a drunken rage but the rest of the time when he wasnt drunk we got along great. He had a really warped sense of humor and we would make each other laugh for hours. He also was charismatic, eccentric and attractive to me and so I always felt attracted to him physically and that is why when he apologized for hitting me I always forgave him and took him back. It was crazy to take that from him but the attraction made me irrational.

My 2nd ex Husband (the attorney) I met in AA we were all about "getting healthy" staying sober, I had my 2 kids with him. I stayed married to him much longer then my first husband. He went to law school, opened a law office, we stuck out the rough years together. I took care of him, the kids, his grandma. I was on the PTA. I was dutiful, I cooked and cleaned and made a nice home for us all. But there was NO passion between us. In fact it was like a chore, The marriage was depressing and soon he strayed and I was in my own bubble world not realizing he was cheating until much later.

Now that I am divorced and have been alone 11 yrs I have thought alot about it. I miss being married and the sharing family events and good times with a husband, the comfort and coziness of companionship. But if I had to choose a husband again I definately would want to feel attracted to him passionately not just compatible on daily routine stuff. I'd rather be alone if I can't have the passion of attraction in my relationship.

My mom and step dad have been married since the early 70's and they still make out (gross) in the kitchen they still flirt and all that jazz they are honestly really attracted to each other. So when they do squabble it is not the end of the world because soon enough they are laughing and loving again.

Lastly, Attraction from what DMP describes is not only physical looks for men, from what I am understanding it is also how the woman makes the man feel about himself and that is nice. It is the same for woman they like to feel good about themselves too.

Shadow
07-28-2011, 09:59 AM
OR....She loves her man and wants to ensure he feels good about that aspect of their relationship. Helping one's partner feel confident in such a very personal area is part of what makes a great relationship. NEVER manipulating; only encouraging.



I knew what I wanted in a mate after my first adult relationship. I married a woman who wasn't that. Turns out though, beyond what I 'knew' I wanted, she is who I may 'need'. :) Make sense?

Yes...that would be what a "partner" would do. The sexual manipulation is what a lot of men end up with though, because they look for the physical gratification stuff first.

I'm like you...I also knew what I wanted in a relationship after my first time at bat (I learned a lot from that relationship... it lasted 6 years). However,being told that the man I'm interested in has been through all of the women they find "sexually desirable"...but is going to "settle" for me...ain't it. I'd rather be single.

And yes...I do understand what you are saying.

chloe
07-28-2011, 10:07 AM
Yes...that would be what a "partner" would do. The sexual manipulation is what a lot of men end up with though, because they look for the physical gratification stuff first.

I'm like you...I also knew what I wanted in a relationship after my first time at bat (I learned a lot from that relationship... it lasted 6 years). However,being told that the man I'm interested in has been through all of the women they find "sexually desirable"...but is going to "settle" for me...ain't it. I'd rather be single.

And yes...I do understand what you are saying.

I'd rather be single too. I want my man to feel like he likes me loves me and is attracted to me as much as I am him. It's gotta be mutual.

red states rule
07-28-2011, 05:05 PM
I'd rather be single too. I want my man to feel like he likes me loves me and is attracted to me as much as I am him. It's gotta be mutual.

Hey Chloe, I will tell you as my Mom told me

For every pot there is a lid

and here is a greta song for you

<IFRAME height=349 src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/dYC5E4perb8" frameBorder=0 width=425 allowfullscreen></IFRAME>

revelarts
07-29-2011, 11:06 AM
I'd agree with a bit from just about everyone here.

Id want to mention this about men seeming shallow sometime we are, we some men more than others though but I've seen woman that go for the "bad boy" or thug over the confident nice guy more than once as well. After few yrs of living I don't think women mean friendship when they say friendship should be 1st. I've rarely heard a woman say "we were such good friends for years then the passion kicked in" What I've heard more of is that -something- sparked their mating interest fairly early on sometime RIGHT AWAY. A friendship may have developed but the Spark was lite Pre or mid "friendship" development.

Many of us guys can be/have been struck stupid by a beautiful women but after getting to know her would NEVER marry her. But would still want to lay her a time or 2 if possible.
To me Angelia Jolie & Tyra Banks are awesome gorgeous women, but both would almost make me crazier than I am already. I think Banks more than Jolie but I think Jolie is probably hiding more crazy woman evil than Banks. Just uh "keeping it real" here folks.

But I don't know, in general everyone wants respect, fun ,passion & "love" with some common ideals and goals.
Men tend to want more respect, peace, food and sex.
Women seem to want more love and security. "love" Sometimes translated as cleaning the floor or something without being asked.

concerning the topic of the thread.
my wife since I've met her has been on some form of oddball diet. Over the course of the past 16 years she gained 40pd . she was average sized woman at 1st but grew a bit plump. I've always been more concerned about her health than her weight on these crazy diets but she's REALLY been obsessed with weight gain and you can imagine her frustration. I was always looking on the bright side. I don't mind a bit of plump AT ALL. But about 6 months ago she, of her on obsession, went to fat doc and he got her on a real food eating diet and she doubled her exercise and has lost the weight. she's much happier with her clothes etc and is ..um... more agile. but seriously the weight was not an issue for me, I kinda liked it, but I like her now too 6 and half dozen.

Dilloduck
07-29-2011, 11:51 AM
Men only dump women at all because we're only allowed to have one.:cool:

chloe
07-29-2011, 12:35 PM
Men only dump women at all because we're only allowed to have one.:cool:

But do you really want 7 nagging wives?:laugh2:

Shadow
07-29-2011, 10:54 PM
I'd agree with a bit from just about everyone here.

Id want to mention this about men seeming shallow sometime we are, we some men more than others though but I've seen woman that go for the "bad boy" or thug over the confident nice guy more than once as well. After few yrs of living I don't think women mean friendship when they say friendship should be 1st. I've rarely heard a woman say "we were such good friends for years then the passion kicked in" What I've heard more of is that -something- sparked their mating interest fairly early on sometime RIGHT AWAY. A friendship may have developed but the Spark was lite Pre or mid "friendship" development.

Many of us guys can be/have been struck stupid by a beautiful women but after getting to know her would NEVER marry her. But would still want to lay her a time or 2 if possible.
To me Angelia Jolie & Tyra Banks are awesome gorgeous women, but both would almost make me crazier than I am already. I think Banks more than Jolie but I think Jolie is probably hiding more crazy woman evil than Banks. Just uh "keeping it real" here folks.

But I don't know, in general everyone wants respect, fun ,passion & "love" with some common ideals and goals.
Men tend to want more respect, peace, food and sex.
Women seem to want more love and security. "love" Sometimes translated as cleaning the floor or something without being asked.

concerning the topic of the thread.
my wife since I've met her has been on some form of oddball diet. Over the course of the past 16 years she gained 40pd . she was average sized woman at 1st but grew a bit plump. I've always been more concerned about her health than her weight on these crazy diets but she's REALLY been obsessed with weight gain and you can imagine her frustration. I was always looking on the bright side. I don't mind a bit of plump AT ALL. But about 6 months ago she, of her on obsession, went to fat doc and he got her on a real food eating diet and she doubled her exercise and has lost the weight. she's much happier with her clothes etc and is ..um... more agile. but seriously the weight was not an issue for me, I kinda liked it, but I like her now too 6 and half dozen.

I definately think you have to have some sort of chemistry to start out with...So, yes I agree with your assessment. When I say a strong friendhip...I mostly mean being comfortable with each other,able to talk about and share common interests,like to do things together etc. You know...being able to relate to/and have fun with each other outside of the bedroom.

Good post BTW :thumb:

Shadow
07-29-2011, 10:57 PM
Men only dump women at all because we're only allowed to have one.:cool:

Yeah well...I guess it IS good to have one to bait your hook...and another to carry all your gear.:)

ConHog
08-06-2011, 05:50 PM
But do you really want 7 nagging wives?:laugh2:



That's what I'm saying. Who would CHOOSE to have more than one wife? I only need one person taking half my money and telling me what to do .

jimnyc
08-06-2011, 05:53 PM
That's what I'm saying. Who would CHOOSE to have more than one wife? I only need one person taking half my money and telling me what to do .

Just do like they do in Islam. Take multiple wives, but if any of them get out of order or nag you, you are allowed to saw their heads off! :poke:

Dilloduck
08-06-2011, 07:44 PM
That's what I'm saying. Who would CHOOSE to have more than one wife? I only need one person taking half my money and telling me what to do .

You're not allowed to have more than one G/F either. If I could have as many as I wanted, I would keep the ugly and fat ones too. It's this " you gotta have just one" that causes all the problems.

chloe
08-06-2011, 08:11 PM
That's what I'm saying. Who would CHOOSE to have more than one wife? I only need one person taking half my money and telling me what to do .

That's why I think marriage is entrapment:laugh2:


I suppose if they would make Polygamy legal we could kick these welfare wives off the system here in Utah and they can pay financially for there own lifestyle....wink

ConHog
08-06-2011, 09:38 PM
That's why I think marriage is entrapment:laugh2:


I suppose if they would make Polygamy legal we could kick these welfare wives off the system here in Utah and they can pay financially for there own lifestyle....wink

I would make an exception and make you Mrs Conhog2 if polygamy were legal.

chloe
08-06-2011, 09:45 PM
I would make an exception and make you Mrs Conhog2 if polygamy were legal.

someone's sure pulling your leg about me....but I gotta admit I don't mind:laugh2:


shoot on the net we can be whateveh we want huh ?

ConHog
08-06-2011, 10:07 PM
someone's sure pulling your leg about me....but I gotta admit I don't mind:laugh2:


shoot on the net we can be whateveh we want huh ?

I have heard that you are beautiful. BUT beauty alone doesn't make a woman beautiful if you know what I'm saying. You just seem cool.

chloe
08-06-2011, 10:23 PM
I have heard that you are beautiful. BUT beauty alone doesn't make a woman beautiful if you know what I'm saying. You just seem cool.

Heck I'll rep you and Mrs Conhog, just keep it coming love:laugh2:


I'm gonna have to dedicate a song to you just woo ya back....(ALL IN FUN OF COURSE) nuttin serious kids !!!

ConHog
08-06-2011, 11:31 PM
Heck I'll rep you and Mrs Conhog, just keep it coming love:laugh2:


I'm gonna have to dedicate a song to you just woo ya back....(ALL IN FUN OF COURSE) nuttin serious kids !!!

Is that you in your avatar?

chloe
08-07-2011, 12:30 AM
Is that you in your avatar?

Gawd No that's not me I WISH !!!!!!! :laugh2:


No, I am just an average Jane, I am in my middle 40's older then JIM and I need to lose weight. I don't post pictures of my current self because people are so mean and use it against you, once I had a picture of my eyes in my profile and honest to pete even my eyes were made fun of. Sure I can laugh at myself but only mostly with people who aren't vicious in intent.

Gaffer is complimentary because we have known each other two years and met in person and Gaffer is a gentleman to ALL women, he enjoys my sense of humor, and I was his girl for about a year, so there is some bias too, wink.

RSR and I have been friends since I first came to the board, we just like flirting and joking. That's really all there is too it, anyone saying different is funning ya.

It would be a fun thread to post pictures of what you "think" posters look like based solely on there net personality eh?

Now conhog did you even look at the two songs I dedicated to you sir?

sometimes imagination is better then reality ain't it??? Let's not ruin a good thing pal .....just go with it!


g8lbNFyWz3A

ConHog
08-07-2011, 01:56 AM
Gawd No that's not me I WISH !!!!!!! :laugh2:


No, I am just an average Jane, I am in my middle 40's older then JIM and I need to lose weight. I don't post pictures of my current self because people are so mean and use it against you, once I had a picture of my eyes in my profile and honest to pete even my eyes were made fun of. Sure I can laugh at myself but only mostly with people who aren't vicious in intent.

Gaffer is complimentary because we have known each other two years and met in person and Gaffer is a gentleman to ALL women, he enjoys my sense of humor, and I was his girl for about a year, so there is some bias too, wink.

RSR and I have been friends since I first came to the board, we just like flirting and joking. That's really all there is too it, anyone saying different is funning ya.

It would be a fun thread to post pictures of what you "think" posters look like based solely on there net personality eh?

Now conhog did you even look at the two songs I dedicated to you sir?

sometimes imagination is better then reality ain't it??? Let's not ruin a good thing pal .....just go with it!


g8lbNFyWz3A


It's all good. If I knew you in real life, I doubt I would be too concerned with your looks. You just seem like a great person.

chloe
08-07-2011, 11:08 AM
It's all good. If I knew you in real life, I doubt I would be too concerned with your looks. You just seem like a great person.

Well I'm not mama cass or rikki lake if that's what you think. I need to lose weight but its just my belly, for some reason in my 40's my stomach fat I just can't get rid of....I have been running too just like you suggested.

ConHog
08-07-2011, 03:13 PM
Well I'm not mama cass or rikki lake if that's what you think. I need to lose weight but its just my belly, for some reason in my 40's my stomach fat I just can't get rid of....I have been running too just like you suggested.



Try swimming. I've grown up running, was in track in HS then joined the military so my body is accustomed to it, but once a person gets into their 40s if their body isn't used to running you can actually do more damage than good if you overdo it. Swimming on the other hand is great exercise and very easy on joints and tendons.

Another option is to get laid every night. That burns off tons of calories. :D

Gunny
08-07-2011, 03:22 PM
Not sure which is worse ... the kiss ass or the one sucking it up.:laugh:

ConHog
08-07-2011, 04:58 PM
Not sure which is worse ... the kiss ass or the one sucking it up.:laugh:

Jealous much????


You know what would be weird and scary and just sick. If chloe were in fact Syrenn playing a new game. LOL

chloe
08-07-2011, 05:13 PM
Try swimming. I've grown up running, was in track in HS then joined the military so my body is accustomed to it, but once a person gets into their 40s if their body isn't used to running you can actually do more damage than good if you overdo it. Swimming on the other hand is great exercise and very easy on joints and tendons.

Another option is to get laid every night. That burns off tons of calories. :D


Not sure which is worse ... the kiss ass or the one sucking it up.:laugh:

Ohh Interesting exercise advice pass on both wink, I don't like swiming because I always get swimmers ear/ear infections, looks like the Chief of Staff has spoken.....I don't wanna gross him out, so I will taper it down:laugh2:

I know Gunny from another board I used to post at in 2008, I left that board sometime in 2009 and never went back I like this place its more cozy. I am just chloe online sorry to disappoint you once again, sigh.

ConHog
08-07-2011, 05:18 PM
Ohh Interesting exercise advice pass on both wink, I don't like swiming because I always get swimmers ear/ear infections, looks like the Chief of Staff has spoken.....I don't wanna gross him out, so I will taper it down:laugh2:

I know Gunny from another board I used to post at in 2008, I left that board sometime in 2009 and never went back I like this place its more cozy. I am just chloe online sorry to disappoint you once again, sigh.



Oh trust me, you not being Syrenn is no disappointment to me, nor I doubt anyone else. She is a crazy, obsessed, stalker bitch who made life miserable for me on a board that Gunny and I used to post on. I would NEVER be nice to her. She's a disgusting, vile, hypocritical, lying sack of shit. And frankly that's the best things I could say about her.

I like this board to.

chloe
08-07-2011, 05:24 PM
Oh trust me, you not being Syrenn is no disappointment to me, nor I doubt anyone else. She is a crazy, obsessed, stalker bitch who made life miserable for me on a board that Gunny and I used to post on. I would NEVER be nice to her. She's a disgusting, vile, hypocritical, lying sack of shit. And frankly that's the best things I could say about her.

I like this board to.

Yeah there are horribly mean people on the net and I suspect you are from the same place I used to know Gunny at. But This is a safe place and as you notice I don't PM you, I only flirt in public I am aware of boundaries and I am not into hurting anyone and hope not to be hurt either. I am just a regular person who has a boring life and I enjoy nice people online who like to kid.

Anyway I suppose we should tone it down:cool:

Shadow
08-07-2011, 07:03 PM
Jealous much????


You know what would be weird and scary and just sick. If chloe were in fact Syrenn playing a new game. LOL

Honey...that egotistical twit ain't that good of an actress (or even all that funny or remotely amusing). She just happens to believe her own press...how about you leave that idiot at the other board...okay (I'm sick of hearing about her frankly).:slap::thumb:

ConHog
08-07-2011, 07:48 PM
Honey...that egotistical twit ain't that good of an actress (or even all that funny or remotely amusing). She just happens to believe her own press...how about you leave that idiot at the other board...okay (I'm sick of hearing about her frankly).:slap::thumb:

Sorry Shadow, that was just the first thought that popped into my mind, that it would be something she would do. LOL I'll leave her in the garbage heap where she belongs. :laugh:

chloe
08-07-2011, 09:15 PM
now that the issue is resolved

let's all have some cake n ice cream:laugh2:


how about some pizza too......

ConHog
08-07-2011, 09:26 PM
now that the issue is resolved

let's all have some cake n ice cream:laugh2:


how about some pizza too......



I gotta better idea. tequila shots off your tummy.

chloe
08-07-2011, 09:47 PM
i gotta better idea. Tequila shots off your tummy.

mercy !!!

ConHog
08-07-2011, 09:57 PM
mercy !!!

:coffee::dance::laugh2::thumb::2up::laugh:

Little-Acorn
08-14-2011, 01:21 PM
now that the issue is resolved

let's all have some cake n ice cream:laugh2:


how about some pizza too......

I can make a chocolate milkshake that would make you cry. McDonalds, Burger King, Carls Jr etc. have no clue how it's done.

And my pumpkin pie: To die for.

My two claims to fame.

chloe
08-14-2011, 01:22 PM
I can make a chocolate milkshake that would make you cry. McDonalds, Burger King, Carls Jr etc. have no clue how it's done.

And my pumpkin pie: To die for.

My two claims to fame.

Damn !!! Can I be your 19?;)

ConHog
08-14-2011, 01:27 PM
I can make a chocolate milkshake that would make you cry. McDonalds, Burger King, Carls Jr etc. have no clue how it's done.

And my pumpkin pie: To die for.

My two claims to fame.

Pumpkin pie is so disgusting. Basically babyshit in a pie crust. :laugh:

Shadow
08-14-2011, 01:31 PM
I can make a chocolate milkshake that would make you cry. McDonalds, Burger King, Carls Jr etc. have no clue how it's done.

And my pumpkin pie: To die for.

My two claims to fame.

I was recently told after turning down cake (by a man...possibly good intentioned...I give the benefit of the doubt on that one). "You are at that age...where you shouldn't care about stuff like...diets"...."Who are you trying to impress...just eat it". :laugh2:

That is now my motto...who gives a crap..."just eat it".. so pass the pie. :thumb:

chloe
08-14-2011, 01:35 PM
I was recently told after turning down cake (by a man...possibly good intentioned...I give the benefit of the doubt on that one). "You are at that age...where you shouldn't care about stuff like...diets"...."Who are you trying to impress...just eat it". :laugh2:

That is now my motto...who gives a crap..."just eat it".. so pass the pie. :thumb:

nothing sexier then a man that wants to feed ya;)

Shadow
08-14-2011, 01:39 PM
nothing sexier then a man that wants to feed ya;)

Too bad he's taken...bet his wife is well fed though LOL ;)

ConHog
08-14-2011, 01:43 PM
Too bad he's taken...bet his wife is well fed though LOL ;)

LOL -- I love to cook , sometimes to my wife's chagrin.

chloe
08-14-2011, 01:46 PM
Too bad he's taken...bet his wife is well fed though LOL ;)

whose wife the guy who told you to eat up?

Shadow
08-14-2011, 01:51 PM
whose wife the guy who told you to eat up?

Yeah...she better watch her step though. Per past experience...they will order pizza at midnight a couple times a week,make icecream sundaes/milkshakes before bedtime etc...

Then tell you how fat and ugly you have become every day from then on out... once you gain weight.:dunno:

Shadow
08-14-2011, 01:52 PM
LOL -- I love to cook , sometimes to my wife's chagrin.

I like men who cook...means I don't have to ;)

ConHog
08-14-2011, 02:01 PM
I like men who cook...means I don't have to ;)

In six years of marriage my wife hasn't cooked a single meal when I've been home to do it. I LOVE to cook.

She does all the dishes.

It's a win win.

chloe
08-14-2011, 02:03 PM
Yeah...she better watch her step though. Per past experience...they will order pizza at midnight a couple times a week,make icecream sundaes/milkshakes before bedtime etc...

Then tell you how fat and ugly you have become every day from then on out... once you gain weight.:dunno:

When me and Gaffer were an item he never called me fat, He is one of those rare men who liked me fat or thin, but I do think he likes redheads better then blondes:rolleyes:

Anyway I think as I get older the reason for wanting to be thin is really just health reasons, I mean I quit smoking cigs because I kept coughing all the time and it was getting expensive and Im getting old, so when I quit I atealot. Now I just want to be at a normal weight and just feel physically healthy.

My 2nd ex husband did tell me I was fat after I had our first baby, he made me feel horrible about myself, he also wanted me to wear make up constantly and now I hate my freckles and always feel self-conscious of them.

ConHog
08-14-2011, 02:10 PM
When me and Gaffer were an item he never called me fat, He is one of those rare men who liked me fat or thin, but I do think he likes redheads better then blondes:rolleyes:

Anyway I think as I get older the reason for wanting to be thin is really just health reasons, I mean I quit smoking cigs because I kept coughing all the time and it was getting expensive and Im getting old, so when I quit I atealot. Now I just want to be at a normal weight and just feel physically healthy.

My 2nd ex husband did tell me I was fat after I had our first baby, he made me feel horrible about myself, he also wanted me to wear make up constantly and now I hate my freckles and always feel self-conscious of them.

You just need a better caliber of man sweetheart. Not much else to say about that.

Shadow
08-14-2011, 02:16 PM
When me and Gaffer were an item he never called me fat, He is one of those rare men who liked me fat or thin, but I do think he likes redheads better then blondes:rolleyes:

Anyway I think as I get older the reason for wanting to be thin is really just health reasons, I mean I quit smoking cigs because I kept coughing all the time and it was getting expensive and Im getting old, so when I quit I atealot. Now I just want to be at a normal weight and just feel physically healthy.

My 2nd ex husband did tell me I was fat after I had our first baby, he made me feel horrible about myself, he also wanted me to wear make up constantly and now I hate my freckles and always feel self-conscious of them.

I guess there are just men like that. My Ex was the same...hated the way I looked,talked,dressed,my body. Pretty much everything...and he let me know that the whole time we were married too (except maybe the pre children years). Make up,sexy clothes and manicures were a big deal to him...only he didn't want to pay for that stuff. And if you spent too much money on "frivoulous" things LOOK OUT. Pretty much why I am single now...I needed some peace of mind.

I like working out...not so much to get skinny. Just cuz it makes me feel better. I don't do it often enough though...I need to work on that more.

ConHog
08-14-2011, 02:23 PM
I guess there are just men like that. My Ex was the same...hated the way I looked,talked,dressed,my body. Pretty much everything...and he let me know that the whole time we were married too (except maybe the pre children years). Make up,sexy clothes and manicures were a big deal to him...only he didn't want to pay for that stuff. And if you spent too much money of "frivoulous" things LOOK OUT. Pretty much why I am single now...I needed some peace of mind.

I like working out...not so much to get skinny. Just cuz it makes me feel better. I don't do it often enough though...I need to work on that more.

I never understood that. Don't idiots realize when you belittle the person YOU chose to marry you're actually belittling yourself? Duh , there's some real jerks out there.

chloe
08-14-2011, 02:23 PM
I guess there are just men like that. My Ex was the same...hated the way I looked,talked,dressed,my body. Pretty much everything...and he let me know that the whole time we were married too (except maybe the pre children years). Make up,sexy clothes and manicures were a big deal to him...only he didn't want to pay for that stuff. And if you spent too much money of "frivoulous" things LOOK OUT. Pretty much why I am single now...I needed some peace of mind.

I like working out...not so much to get skinny. Just cuz it makes me feel better. I don't do it often enough though...I need to work on that more.

Yep it feels better mentally to workout.

If I ever settle down again I want him to like me for me, my sense of humor and qualities that we both value and share mutually, I can feel attracted to someone for who they are even more then how they look.

I know its not the same for men but for me a good sense of humor and a compassionate nature is very sexy.

Shadow
08-14-2011, 02:29 PM
I never understood that. Don't idiots realize when you belittle the person YOU chose to marry you're actually belittling yourself? Duh , there's some real jerks out there.

Well, he wasn't the brightest bulb...what can I say. Usually after one of his "you suck" tirades...he would then want to have make up sex too. My response was usually something like..."why would you want to have sex with a repulsive person". "Go sleep it off...asshole".

chloe
08-14-2011, 02:31 PM
Well, he wasn't the brightest bulb...what can I say. Usually after one of his "you suck" tirades...he would then want to have make up sex too. My response was usually something like..."why would you want to have sex with a repulsive person". "Go sleep it off...asshole".

Geez Shadow he sounds mentally mean, it's amazing you have such a good outlook.

Shadow
08-14-2011, 02:38 PM
Geez Shadow he sounds mentally mean, it's amazing you have such a good outlook.

He was.

And to be honest regarding my outlook,it didn't happen overnight...it's taken a lot of time. And I'm still pretty shy/introverted and not very social at times.

chloe
08-14-2011, 02:45 PM
He was.

And to be honest regarding my outlook,it didn't happen overnight...it's taken a lot of time. And I'm still pretty shy/introverted and not very social at times.

Well your online personna shines through, I can see you have a good sense of humor, you like to delve deep into human issues, your loyal and nurturing to your friends, you have all those great qualities online that I imagine offline people are lucky to be part of your life.

That mean ex husband didn't deserve what you had to offer.

Shadow
08-16-2011, 10:41 AM
Men want a female who will mate with them. That trumps all - especially if the woman who mates with them conducts herself in a way to stroke the ego (and other parts?) of the man in a way that conveys acceptance of his s3xual prowess.

My ex was, physically, my ideal. However, we didn't synch on very important issues. My wife is nearly the opposite of my ideas (she's too tall, introvert, etc), but when the zombies attack, I want her on my team for a lot of the reasons you listed above.

I'm scared of 'friendship' when thinking of a potential mate. I sorta think a good relationship starts out with a strong sexual/emotional connection. It's easier to teach friendship than passion.

So,how important is the above to most people? Is it a deal breaker if your SO doesn't tend to defend you,but rather leaves you to the wolves (so to speak)? Do you care if they have your back? Or if they always take the other side of an argument? Just curious?

Prince Lemon
08-16-2011, 10:49 AM
Because of the hardness of their hearts today's men dumping their wives because they hate wives problems like obesity,disabilities,and other things that happen to them.Adulerous age or the last days.

ConHog
08-16-2011, 10:58 AM
So,how important is the above to most people? Is it a deal breaker if your SO doesn't tend to defend you,but rather leaves you to the wolves (so to speak)? Do you care if they have your back? Or if they always take the other side of an argument? Just curious?


Deal breaker if she argues in public. I've known my wife almost 7 years and she never has. We've had disagreements in private of course (unlike me she isn't always right) , but in public we are a united front.

chloe
08-16-2011, 01:53 PM
So,how important is the above to most people? Is it a deal breaker if your SO doesn't tend to defend you,but rather leaves you to the wolves (so to speak)? Do you care if they have your back? Or if they always take the other side of an argument? Just curious?

It depends on the situation, not blind loyalty because I am human and often make mistakes or have poor judgement, however if I am being attacked by someone in some public fashion and its malicious then I would like my better half to support me and stick up for me even if they think theres some validity to the reason behind the attack, I would expect my true love to be close enough to me to address any issues I may be in denial about but temper it with mercy. Standing up for your loved one in public is a sign of respect to me it's saying you love them warts n all.

KartRacerBoy
08-16-2011, 03:08 PM
Well, he wasn't the brightest bulb...what can I say. Usually after one of his "you suck" tirades...he would then want to have make up sex too. My response was usually something like..."why would you want to have sex with a repulsive person". "Go sleep it off...asshole".

I ran into an ex-GF a few years ago. At 45 she was on her 3rd marriage and looking for another divorce but trying to make herself financially secure before she left. She somehow married 2 alcoholics after her first marriage. She was a sweet girl but had little self-confidence (which was why we split). I knew her dad well after we broke up becz years later we were opposites when I worked at the EPA and he was a VP at Mobil Oil. He had the cruelty to tell his daughter and I that she wasn't smart enough to even be a secretary for him. I wouldn't care if it was true (it wasn't) but you just don't say things like that to your kids. Think it, maybe, but don't say it.

No wonder some people grow up insecure. Just becz you can breed doesn't mean you're a decent enough human to be a parent.

KartRacerBoy
08-16-2011, 03:16 PM
It depends on the situation, not blind loyalty because I am human and often make mistakes or have poor judgement, however if I am being attacked by someone in some public fashion and its malicious then I would like my better half to support me and stick up for me even if they think theres some validity to the reason behind the attack, I would expect my true love to be close enough to me to address any issues I may be in denial about but temper it with mercy. Standing up for your loved one in public is a sign of respect to me it's saying you love them warts n all.

I pissed off a girlfriend when she borrowed someone's car (a POS) and it ran out of coolant. The car overheated but even after she discovered the problem, she decided since the guy who lent her the car was so RUDE as to give it to her with low coolant, she had no problem driving it until the engine seized. The car owner then came by her place when I was there to demand she pay for a new motor. I didn't entirely agree with his reasoning but thought he was more right than my girlfirend.

We broke up a month or so later. She never told me why. It's still a mystery. :laugh:

chloe
08-16-2011, 08:52 PM
I pissed off a girlfriend when she borrowed someone's car (a POS) and it ran out of coolant. The car overheated but even after she discovered the problem, she decided since the guy who lent her the car was so RUDE as to give it to her with low coolant, she had no problem driving it until the engine seized. The car owner then came by her place when I was there to demand she pay for a new motor. I didn't entirely agree with his reasoning but thought he was more right than my girlfirend.

We broke up a month or so later. She never told me why. It's still a mystery. :laugh:

sure he was right and she was wrong good riddence eh>?

Shadow
08-16-2011, 09:32 PM
It depends on the situation, not blind loyalty because I am human and often make mistakes or have poor judgement, however if I am being attacked by someone in some public fashion and its malicious then I would like my better half to support me and stick up for me even if they think theres some validity to the reason behind the attack, I would expect my true love to be close enough to me to address any issues I may be in denial about but temper it with mercy. Standing up for your loved one in public is a sign of respect to me it's saying you love them warts n all.

I agree. And it also shows the person that you care more about them then some aquaintance or stranger. IMO if your SO won't stand up for you in front of friends,strangers etc...it shows you at least two things:

1). You can't depend on them.
2). Makes them harder to trust in the future.

chloe
08-16-2011, 09:35 PM
I agree. And it also shows the person that you care more about them then some aquaintance or stranger. IMO if your SO won't stand up for you in front of friends,strangers etc...it shows you at least two things:

1). You can't depend on them.
2). Makes them harder to trust in the future.

Sure, I expect more of someone I am in a romantic commitment to then just a friend.

Shadow
08-16-2011, 09:51 PM
Sure, I expect more of someone I am in a romantic commitment to then just a friend.

Which brings up a good point. So,you don't care if your friends stick up for you...just your SO?

chloe
08-16-2011, 10:00 PM
Which brings up a good point. So,you don't care if your friends stick up for you...just your SO?

Not as important to me. I don't have any friends offline so maybe I would think different if I had friends.:rolleyes:

Basically if I was in a commitment I can't imagine a situation that I'd find myself being subjected to an attack unless it was my own dang family and I don't think my man would want to hang around them anyway.:laugh2:

Shadow
08-16-2011, 11:01 PM
I ran into an ex-GF a few years ago. At 45 she was on her 3rd marriage and looking for another divorce but trying to make herself financially secure before she left. She somehow married 2 alcoholics after her first marriage. She was a sweet girl but had little self-confidence (which was why we split). I knew her dad well after we broke up becz years later we were opposites when I worked at the EPA and he was a VP at Mobil Oil. He had the cruelty to tell his daughter and I that she wasn't smart enough to even be a secretary for him. I wouldn't care if it was true (it wasn't) but you just don't say things like that to your kids. Think it, maybe, but don't say it.

No wonder some people grow up insecure. Just becz you can breed doesn't mean you're a decent enough human to be a parent.

Makes sense...if someone always tells you you aren't worthy...you might start to believe it. Although,this could also fall into the catagory of just needing to be with someone (doesn't really matter who). I think your judement tends to be better if you arent afraid to be alone. Sometimes I think society tends to feed into this insecurity...if you aren't in a relationship...there must be something wrong with you.

Shadow
08-16-2011, 11:06 PM
Not as important to me. I don't have any friends offline so maybe I would think different if I had friends.:rolleyes:

Basically if I was in a commitment I can't imagine a situation that I'd find myself being subjected to an attack unless it was my own dang family and I don't think my man would want to hang around them anyway.:laugh2:

I don't really have that many offlline friends either. Maybe I'm too hard on people,but I don't want to be around people I don't feel like I can trust with secrets or when things go wrong (or that I don't particularly like...just to have something to do).

ConHog
08-16-2011, 11:08 PM
I don't really have that many offlline friends either. Maybe I'm too hard on people,but I don't want to be around people I don't feel like I can trust with secrets or when things go wrong (or that I don't particularly like...just to have something to do).



In today's world you have to be careful who you consider friends; both on and off line. Sad how many people really aren't trustworthy.