cadet
11-10-2011, 10:06 AM
· Real Engineers consider themselves well dressed if their socks match.
· Real Engineers buy their spouses a set of matched screwdrivers for their birthday.
· Real Engineers wear mustaches or beards for "efficiency". Not because they're lazy.
· Real engineers have a non-technical vocabulary of 800 words.
· Real Engineers think a "biting wit" is their fox terrier.
· Real Engineers know the second law of thermodynamics - but not their own shirt size.
· Real Engineers repair their own cameras, telephones, televisions, watches, and automatic transmissions.
· Real Engineers say "It's 70 degrees Fahrenheit, 25 degrees Celsius, and 298 degrees Kelvin" and all you say is "Isn't it a nice day"
· Real Engineers give you the feeling you're having a conversation with a dial tone or busy signal.
· Real Engineers wear badges so they don't forget who they are. Sometimes a note is attached saying "Don't offer me a ride today. I drove my own car".
· Real Engineers' politics run towards acquiring a parking space with their name on it and an office with a window.
· Real Engineers know the "ABC's of Infrared" from A to B.
· Real Engineers rotate their tires for laughs.
· Real Engineers will make four sets of drawings (with seven revisions) before making a bird bath.
· Real Engineers' briefcases contain a Phillips screwdriver, a copy of "Quantum Physics", and a half of a peanut butter sandwich.
· Real Engineers don't find the above at all funny.
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"A Boy and His Frog" A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The boy said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."
· Real Engineers buy their spouses a set of matched screwdrivers for their birthday.
· Real Engineers wear mustaches or beards for "efficiency". Not because they're lazy.
· Real engineers have a non-technical vocabulary of 800 words.
· Real Engineers think a "biting wit" is their fox terrier.
· Real Engineers know the second law of thermodynamics - but not their own shirt size.
· Real Engineers repair their own cameras, telephones, televisions, watches, and automatic transmissions.
· Real Engineers say "It's 70 degrees Fahrenheit, 25 degrees Celsius, and 298 degrees Kelvin" and all you say is "Isn't it a nice day"
· Real Engineers give you the feeling you're having a conversation with a dial tone or busy signal.
· Real Engineers wear badges so they don't forget who they are. Sometimes a note is attached saying "Don't offer me a ride today. I drove my own car".
· Real Engineers' politics run towards acquiring a parking space with their name on it and an office with a window.
· Real Engineers know the "ABC's of Infrared" from A to B.
· Real Engineers rotate their tires for laughs.
· Real Engineers will make four sets of drawings (with seven revisions) before making a bird bath.
· Real Engineers' briefcases contain a Phillips screwdriver, a copy of "Quantum Physics", and a half of a peanut butter sandwich.
· Real Engineers don't find the above at all funny.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"A Boy and His Frog" A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The boy said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."