Abbey Marie
01-29-2012, 03:32 PM
Message Board Personality Types
The Drama Queen-Every week, the Queen has a new Drama. Someone is ill in her family. Her turtle is dying from dehydration. Her car has only one functional cylinder. Her lawnmower is sputtering. Her tricycle is missing a wheel. She has an ingrown hair on her knuckle. Prayers are being requested and granted. She has hysterics if a needle falls in the haystack. Daring to ask what is really going on will cause a bout of online tears, wailing, gnashing of teeth, and Grand Proclamations that since no one Cares, the Queen is Leaving. However, it is hard to slam the door behind you, when the message board does not provide you with good sound effects.
The Journalist-loves to give the news of the day. May give that same news on several forums in the same day. Getting the news may not be so bad, but quite often the Journalist is so quick to post the news, that The Journalist does not realize it has already been posted, and replied to, several times.
The Investigator-when one person asks a question, the Investigator is the first one to research it, and post an answer. Usually keeps Wikipedia handy, but will resort to other search engines. Thrives on discovering bad information in a thread, and rushes to provide the correct information to the Information Deprived Masses.
The Detailer-knows the history of any given subject, down to how many buttons were worn on a child’s suit 28 years ago. Woe to anyone who posts an incorrect fact, as that will cause an immediate response meant to show the original poster they are WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! because the Detailer knows All, and remembers All. But the Detailer hides under the Being Helpful disguise, vowing that the Massed need to know the Truth of Knowledge.
The Anarchist-hates authority, and hates it when that authority is exercised against the Anarchist. When blocked, the Anarchist proceeds to lob grenades and bombs at the Authority target. So single-minded, the Anarchist will continue the battle to the bitter end of a board, then move on to another board, still blindly lobbing grenades at the original Authority figure. It does not matter that the original target is not available, the Anarchist continues to throw the same grenades in hopes that one will score a hit.
The Megalomaniac – Grandiose, Self-deprecating, Righteous and Smug, the Megalomaniac will fabricate achievements, using emotional diatribe to alternately gather admirers and then alienate any and all members who threaten their importance. Always over the top, the Megalomaniac has Seen It All, Done It All, Has It All and Knows It All – anyone who differs in opinion is not worth cultivating, but will suffer shunning and verbal stoning!
The Traveler – Loves to meet online admirers in person. Unfortunately, this tendency allows admirers to see the REAL persona behind the online identity thus effectively putting an end to any and all admiration. Once the fantasy bubble is burst, the Traveler returns to the online forum to announce to the world how “rotten” the host was. (See Megalomaniac).
The Oracle – knows what you “meant” to say, even though you did not remotely say anything close to the subject. Will dissect every word, letter, and punctuation mark in a given post looking for a tell-tale sign that can be used to PROVE you don’t mean what you say. The Oracle will save any and all such potentially revealing posts for months, and mysteriously “recall” the outdated information at the perfect moment, using it as a club to batter the original poster into abject fear. Quite often partners with The Nosey Parker and the Cat-Rat.
The Peacenik – Loudly proclaims “Can’t we all just get along?” Waits until the thread is almost dead, and then arrives to try and create Peace, Love, and Happiness amongst the board members. The thread then erupts again into a volcano of emotion. Being largely ignored in the midst of the thread, this enables the Peacenik to proclaim “I tried to stop it, but they would not listen!” The Peacenik then retreats to meditate on the need for Peace, Love and Happiness.
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http://snafam.blogspot.com/2007/02/personalities-of-message-boards.html
The Drama Queen-Every week, the Queen has a new Drama. Someone is ill in her family. Her turtle is dying from dehydration. Her car has only one functional cylinder. Her lawnmower is sputtering. Her tricycle is missing a wheel. She has an ingrown hair on her knuckle. Prayers are being requested and granted. She has hysterics if a needle falls in the haystack. Daring to ask what is really going on will cause a bout of online tears, wailing, gnashing of teeth, and Grand Proclamations that since no one Cares, the Queen is Leaving. However, it is hard to slam the door behind you, when the message board does not provide you with good sound effects.
The Journalist-loves to give the news of the day. May give that same news on several forums in the same day. Getting the news may not be so bad, but quite often the Journalist is so quick to post the news, that The Journalist does not realize it has already been posted, and replied to, several times.
The Investigator-when one person asks a question, the Investigator is the first one to research it, and post an answer. Usually keeps Wikipedia handy, but will resort to other search engines. Thrives on discovering bad information in a thread, and rushes to provide the correct information to the Information Deprived Masses.
The Detailer-knows the history of any given subject, down to how many buttons were worn on a child’s suit 28 years ago. Woe to anyone who posts an incorrect fact, as that will cause an immediate response meant to show the original poster they are WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! because the Detailer knows All, and remembers All. But the Detailer hides under the Being Helpful disguise, vowing that the Massed need to know the Truth of Knowledge.
The Anarchist-hates authority, and hates it when that authority is exercised against the Anarchist. When blocked, the Anarchist proceeds to lob grenades and bombs at the Authority target. So single-minded, the Anarchist will continue the battle to the bitter end of a board, then move on to another board, still blindly lobbing grenades at the original Authority figure. It does not matter that the original target is not available, the Anarchist continues to throw the same grenades in hopes that one will score a hit.
The Megalomaniac – Grandiose, Self-deprecating, Righteous and Smug, the Megalomaniac will fabricate achievements, using emotional diatribe to alternately gather admirers and then alienate any and all members who threaten their importance. Always over the top, the Megalomaniac has Seen It All, Done It All, Has It All and Knows It All – anyone who differs in opinion is not worth cultivating, but will suffer shunning and verbal stoning!
The Traveler – Loves to meet online admirers in person. Unfortunately, this tendency allows admirers to see the REAL persona behind the online identity thus effectively putting an end to any and all admiration. Once the fantasy bubble is burst, the Traveler returns to the online forum to announce to the world how “rotten” the host was. (See Megalomaniac).
The Oracle – knows what you “meant” to say, even though you did not remotely say anything close to the subject. Will dissect every word, letter, and punctuation mark in a given post looking for a tell-tale sign that can be used to PROVE you don’t mean what you say. The Oracle will save any and all such potentially revealing posts for months, and mysteriously “recall” the outdated information at the perfect moment, using it as a club to batter the original poster into abject fear. Quite often partners with The Nosey Parker and the Cat-Rat.
The Peacenik – Loudly proclaims “Can’t we all just get along?” Waits until the thread is almost dead, and then arrives to try and create Peace, Love, and Happiness amongst the board members. The thread then erupts again into a volcano of emotion. Being largely ignored in the midst of the thread, this enables the Peacenik to proclaim “I tried to stop it, but they would not listen!” The Peacenik then retreats to meditate on the need for Peace, Love and Happiness.
...
http://snafam.blogspot.com/2007/02/personalities-of-message-boards.html