Un PC Jokes

[Wind Song]

What do you get when you cross a Jehovah Witness with a Buddhist?

Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.

[Wind Song]

Breathe in. Breathe out.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Forget this and attaining Enlightenment
will be the least of your problems.

[jimnyc]

Little Johnny's neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.

When the mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby.

Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.

His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word "ears" he would get the spanking of his life when they came back home.

Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely. When Johnny looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby."

The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnny."

Johnny said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?"

"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."

"That's great," said Little Johnny, "'cuz he'd be shit-outta-luck if he needed glasses."

[Kathianne]

Little Johnny's neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.

When the mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby.

Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.

His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word "ears" he would get the spanking of his life when they came back home.

Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely. When Johnny looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby."

The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnny."

Johnny said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?"

"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."

"That's great," said Little Johnny, "'cuz he'd be shit-outta-luck if he needed glasses."

Little Johnny is always un-pc. ;)

[jimnyc]

Little Johnny is always un-pc. ;)

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Little Jenny was next: "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."

"Very good, Jenny," said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath.

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said.

"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"

"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

"Toothbrushes," echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand. I gave everybody who walked by a sample. They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like shit!"

Then I would say, "It is shit. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"

[Wind Song]

Two monks were sitting in a cave. One was silent. The other one said, ‘I could have done that’.

[Wind Song]

Why did the Buddhist coroner get the sack?

Because he’d always record the cause of death as ‘birth’.

[Wind Song]

Peace of mind

The day after completing a 9 day Vipassana retreat, Dave turns up for work at the Zoo. Seeing how chilled out Dave is, the head keeper puts him in charge of the tortoise enclosure. Dave slowly walks over to the cages. At lunch time, the head keeper checks on Dave only to see the cage door is wide open and all the tortoises gone! He runs up to Dave and asks, “What happened with the tortoises?”
“Well”, said Dave very slowly, “I opened the tortoise cage door and it was, like, Whoosh!”

[Wind Song]

Exchange between the Zen master and his student:
Student: What happens after death?
Master: I don’t know.
Student: How can you not know? You are a Zen master.
Master: Yes, but I’m not a dead one.

[Wind Song]

Why can’t Buddhists vacuum in corners…no attachments…:

[jimnyc]

The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her young students so she took him aside after class one day.

"Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?"

"I'm in love," replied Little Johnny.

Holding back an urge to smile, the teacher asked, "with whom?"

"With you!" he said. "But Little Johnny," said the teacher gently, "don't you see how silly that is? Sure I'd like a husband of my own someday... but I don't want a child."

"Oh, don't worry," said Little Johnny reassuringly, "I'll use a rubber!"

[Wind Song]

A Zen master once said to me, "Do the opposite of whatever I tell you." So I didn't.

[jimnyc]

ne day a nursery school teacher says to the class, "Who can use the word DEFINITELY in a sentence?

A little girl jumps up and says...
"The sky is definitely blue!"
The teacher replies, "Oh Sorry Amy, but the sky can also be gray, or orange..."

A little boy quickly says...
"Trees are definitely green!"
Teacher replies, "Oh Sorry Michael, but in the autumn the trees change colour..."

Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and shouts,
"Does a fart have lumps?"
The teacher looks horrified and says, "Johnny! Of course not!!!"
"Then I have DEFINITELY shit my pants!"

[Kathianne]

ne day a nursery school teacher says to the class, "Who can use the word DEFINITELY in a sentence?

A little girl jumps up and says...
"The sky is definitely blue!"
The teacher replies, "Oh Sorry Amy, but the sky can also be gray, or orange..."

A little boy quickly says...
"Trees are definitely green!"
Teacher replies, "Oh Sorry Michael, but in the autumn the trees change colour..."

Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and shouts,
"Does a fart have lumps?"
The teacher looks horrified and says, "Johnny! Of course not!!!"
"Then I have DEFINITELY shit my pants!"

I'm NOT repping that!

[jimnyc]

I'm NOT repping that!

I have a sick sense of humor. I'm tossing tame Johnny jokes out there. If I posted some of my favorite jokes, they would be reported and I would get in trouble! :coffee:

[Kathianne]

I have a sick sense of humor. I'm tossing tame Johnny jokes out there. If I posted some of my favorite jokes, they would be reported and I would get in trouble! :coffee:

No doubt! You're just lucky...

[Wind Song]

A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.

The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."

The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.

She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now."

[jimnyc]

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: "Michael, if you were on a date, having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"

Michael said, "Just a minute, I have to go pee."

The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite."

"What about you Peter, how would you say it?" Peter said, "I'm sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table."

And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"

I would say, "Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after dinner."

The teacher fainted.

[Wind Song]

Sally goes to work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned his employee, walks over to her and asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?" The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call that my mother had passed away."

The boss, feeling very sorry at this point suggests to the young girl, "Why don't you go home for the day...we aren't terribly busy. Just take
the day off and go relax."

Sally very calmly states, "No I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind busy and I have the best chance of doing that here."

The boss agrees and allows her to work as usual. "If you need anything just let me know" says the boss.

A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on Sally. He looks out his office and sees her crying hysterically.

He rushes over an asks, "What's the matter now? Are you going to be ok?"

Sally breaks down in tears. "I just received a horrible call from my sister. She said that her mom died too!!"

[Wind Song]

<TBODY>
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”

To which she replied, “There certainly is!”

My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”




<!-- ca-pub-9120037364502963/CoolBlondeJokes-300x250 -->


</TBODY>

[SassyLady]

I have a sick sense of humor. I'm tossing tame Johnny jokes out there. If I posted some of my favorite jokes, they would be reported and I would get in trouble! :coffee:

Johnny must be living with Peter Pan because I remember him telling jokes when I was a kid which was more than a half century ago. He had a potty mouth back then too.

:laugh:

[Wind Song]

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all
these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid,
so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are
smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is
going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets
down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and
smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living
room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.
He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at
the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks
what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him
that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by
painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket
over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the
directions on the paint can and they said....
FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS

[ConHog]

this is the non pc section.........






what do you get when you cross a nigger and a monkey? Nothing, monkeys are too smart to fuck a nigger.

[Wind Song]

Once there were 3 people in an airplane, one took a bite out of
an apple. She thought it was too sweet so she threw it out of
the plane. The second person took a bite out of a lemon and she
thought it was too sour so, she threw it out of the plane. Then
the last person took a bite out of a grenade and he thought it
was too crunchy so, he threw it out of the plane. Then they
landed and decided to go for a walk. They first passed a little
girl who was crying and they asked, "little girl, little girl,
why are you crying?" and the little girl said, "an apple came
down and killed my new kitty". Next they passed a little boy
who
was also crying. And they again asked, "little boy, little boy,
why are you crying?" and the little boy said, "a lemon came
down
and killed my new puppy." Then they passed a blonde sitting on
the side walk laughing her butt off. They asked, "why are you
laughing so hard?" and the blonde said, "I farted and the
building behind me blew up!!"

[jimnyc]

^ He's a racist, he's a racist!! :lol:

[Wind Song]

^ He's a racist, he's a racist!! :lol:


Conhog--

Are you in trouble. I'm a gunnin' for ya now!

[ConHog]

What's 20 feet long and sits on top of a pussy?

A turban.

[Wind Song]

Q: Why is there so much food at a Muslim wedding?

A: To keep the flies off the bride.

[Wind Song]

Q: Wanna hear a joke?
A: Muslim Women's Rights.

[Wind Song]

Q: What do female Muslims use for birth control?
A: Their faces

[Wind Song]

Q. What's the difference between Michael Moore and a one ton CARE package?
A. Michael Moore, if sliced real thin, can feed a larger Afghan village.

[Wind Song]

Q. What do you say to a Muslim with his arm all the way up a camel's rump?
A. "Having car trouble?"

[ConHog]

What's long and hard and makes women groan?

An Ironing Board.

[Wind Song]

What's long and hard and makes women groan?

An Ironing Board.


That is so bad.

[Wind Song]

A Pakistani comes to America and begins working for the ACLU but is unfamiliar with American advances in toiletry. On his first day on the job he comes back from the men's room saying he can't find any hole in the ground. His boss explains how American plumbing works and sends the Pakistani back. A few minutes later, a loud, blood-curdling scream is heard from the bathroom. A few minutes after that, another loud scream shakes the office walls. His boss runs into the bathroom to investigate why he's screaming.
http://plancksconstant.org/blog1/iamges/mop-bucketsm.jpg (http://plancksconstant.org/blog1/iamges/mop-bucket.jpg)The Pakistani replies, "I am just sitting here on the toilet like you instructed to do and every time I am making to flush, something comes up and squeezes dearly on my poor testicles."
His boss looks at what he's sitting on and says, "You idiot. You're sitting on the mop bucket!"

[Gator Monroe]

(Q) What do you call a Brother that Drives a German Sports Car ?

[Wind Song]

Q: How do you get a Muslim woman pregnant?
A: Dress her up as a goat (http://plancksconstant.org/blog1/2006/07/osama_bin_ladens_gar.html).

[Gator Monroe]

(A) a Porsche Monkey

[Wind Song]

Q. What do Muslim men do during foreplay?
A. Tickle the goat under the chin.

[Wind Song]

Q. How did the Muslim adulteress cross the road?
A. She was dragged by her feet, kicking and screaming, then she was stoned to death by a baying lynch-mob of brainwashed psychopaths.

[Wind Song]

(Q) What do you call a Brother that Drives a German Sports Car ?


I give up.

[Gator Monroe]

I give up.

(A) A Porsche Monkey

[Wind Song]

(A) A Porsche Monkey

So far you and Con are neck and neck for most unPC joke tonight.

[Wind Song]

Mohammed heard one of his wives was leaving him, so he rushed home where he found her on the carpet in front of the tent with her belongings; he sat beside her and said, “I heard you were planning to leave me?” She replied, “Yes, I heard your other wives saying you were a pedophile!”
Mohammed thinks for a minute or so and then responds, “that's a mighty big word for a 6 year old."

[Wind Song]

Two glasses of wine on an empty stomach. I think I'm smashed. Nobody take advantage of me!

[Wind Song]

So this Palestinian walks into a bar and sits down.

The bartender says, “What’ll it be, pal?”

The Palestinian goes, “BOOM!”

[ConHog]

Sky is making me laugh tonight




What do you call 10,000 dead Muslims at the bottom of the ocean?




A good fucking start............

[Wind Song]

Here's another one I saw a comedian named Carlos Mencia do on TV. He was dressed in a burqa, playing a female Palestinian comedian on stage in front of a group of guffawing Palestinian men:

Female Comedian In Burqa: My husband is so fat ...

Palestinian Men In Crowd: How fat is he?

Female Comedian In Burqa: My husband is so fat it took two bombs to blow him up.

[Wind Song]

A guy enters an “adult novelty” store and asks the clerk about purchasing an inflatable doll.

The clerk asks him, “Do you want a Christian doll or a Muslim one?”

The customer replies, “I don’t know. What’s the difference?”

The clerk responds, “You have to inflate the Christian doll yourself. The Muslim one blows herself up.”

[Wind Song]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAZisTrw5FU

[ConHog]

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics?




























Not being retarded.

[Kathianne]

A guy enters an “adult novelty” store and asks the clerk about purchasing an inflatable doll.

The clerk asks him, “Do you want a Christian doll or a Muslim one?”

The customer replies, “I don’t know. What’s the difference?”

The clerk responds, “You have to inflate the Christian doll yourself. The Muslim one blows herself up.”

You do know, bad taste. ++ though on un-pc!

[ConHog]

Q. What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
A. Nothing, she obviously doesn't listen. --OR-- A. Nothing, you already told her twice.

Q. Why did the woman cross the road?
A. What's she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?

Q. Why do women keep their holes so close together?
A. So you can carry them around like a six-pack.

Q. How many men does it take to open a beer?
A. None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.

Q. If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
A. Made her chain too long.

Q. How many battered women does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. "Cook it in the dark, bitch!"

Q. What's green and in the kitchen?
A. My bitch, and I'll paint her any color I want.

Q. What do you call the useless skin around a pussy?
A. A woman.

Q. Why did cavemen pull their women around by their hair?
A. Because if they pulled them around by their feet, they'd fill up with mud..

Q. Why do women have periods?
A. Because they deserve them.

Q. Why don't women need watches?
A. There�s a clock on the stove.

Q. Why does the bride always wear white?
A. Because the dishwasher should match the stove and refrigerator.

Q. What does a woman put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A. Her ankles.

Q. How are women like bowling balls?
A. You finger them and throw 'em in the gutter, and they keep coming back for more.

Q. What's the smartest thing to ever come out of a woman's mouth?
A. Einstein's cock.

Q. A motorcyclist hits a woman. Whose fault is it?
A. The woman's. She wasn't in the kitchen. --OR-- The motorcyclist's. What was he doing riding his bike in the kitchen?

Q. What's the biggest problem with being a black woman?
A. There's no kitchen in the back of the bus

Q. What's the difference between my wife and an onion?
A. I didn't cry when I chopped up my wife.

[Little-Acorn]

Rush Limbaugh got into an elevator. It went up a few floors and stopped. Hillary Clinton got in. The elevator continued upward, as the two eyed each other a little nervously. Finally Hillary reached out and pushed the STOP button. She looked at Limbaugh, and then peeled off all her clothes and said, "Oh, Rush, make a real woman out of me!"

Limbaugh looked at her for a moment, then stripped off all his clothes. He handed them to her, and said, "Iron 'em."

[Anton Chigurh]

Elton John and George Michael just finished a duet album, revisiting their previous hits with a updated twist. Title track?

"Don't let your son go down on me."

[logroller]

Little Johnny's neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.

When the mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby.

Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.

His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word "ears" he would get the spanking of his life when they came back home.

Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely. When Johnny looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby."

The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnny."

Johnny said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?"

"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."

"That's great," said Little Johnny, "'cuz he'd be shit-outta-luck if he needed glasses."
Ive heard similar, but...


I have a sick sense of humor. I'm tossing tame Johnny jokes out there. If I posted some of my favorite jokes, they would be reported and I would get in trouble! :coffee:
...fuck, it's good to be the king.
not really sure if this un-pc or just disgustingly indecent, but here's how it goes--

Whats the best thing about pedophilia?












Your dick looks so big in their little hands.

[logroller]

Statistically speaking, 9/10 people enjoy gang rape.

[Wind Song]

Statistically speaking, 9/10 people enjoy gang rape.

There just isn't anything funny about rape. It's unfortunate that your choice to tell a rape joke doesn't match some of your other claims about supporting women.

The reason rape jokes are a bad idea has nothing to do with offending feminists or rape victims (although purposefully offending a rape victim is a pretty shitty thing to do). It’s not about how women react to the joke; it’s about how other men react. The sad truth is that some men really are rapists. The problem with rape jokes is that these guys —who seem normal but are actually rapists — hear the jokes and interpret them as a secret wink and nod that you approve of what they’re doing and that you would, or are, doing it too. Rapists think that all men rape and that other men keep it hushed up better. Rapists like rape jokes because it normalizes their violent behavior.

Most men would stop a rape if they could. Most will never have that opportunity, but you may the opportunity to stop rape jokes. Not because you don’t have a sense of humor, but because you care about preventing rape, protecting women, and letting rapists know that you are NOT their comrade, their ally, or their bro.

Keep in mind that none of here knows who may have raped, male or female in the community.

[ConHog]

There just isn't anything funny about rape. It's unfortunate that your choice to tell a rape joke doesn't match some of your other claims about supporting women.

The reason rape jokes are a bad idea has nothing to do with offending feminists or rape victims (although purposefully offending a rape victim is a pretty shitty thing to do). It’s not about how women react to the joke; it’s about how other men react. The sad truth is that some men really are rapists. The problem with rape jokes is that these guys —who seem normal but are actually rapists — hear the jokes and interpret them as a secret wink and nod that you approve of what they’re doing and that you would, or are, doing it too. Rapists think that all men rape and that other men keep it hushed up better. Rapists like rape jokes because it normalizes their violent behavior.

Most men would stop a rape if they could. Most will never have that opportunity, but you may the opportunity to stop rape jokes. Not because you don’t have a sense of humor, but because you care about preventing rape, protecting women, and letting rapists know that you are NOT their comrade, their ally, or their bro.

Keep in mind that none of here knows who may have raped, male or female in the community.



Come on Dorothy, why did u have to do that? I made a joke or two about wife beating to. they are JOKES. you gotta learn context.

I made a joke about 10K Muslims at the bottom of the ocean, doesn't mean I condone anyone putting 10K dead Muslims at the bottom of the ocean.

2 steps forward 1 step back with you eh?

[logroller]

Come on Dorothy, why did u have to do that? I made a joke or two about wife beating to. they are JOKES. you gotta learn context.

I made a joke about 10K Muslims at the bottom of the ocean, doesn't mean I condone anyone putting 10K dead Muslims at the bottom of the ocean.

2 steps forward 1 step back with you eh?

The bottom of sea one is old-school; I've heard it with a bunch of things, lawyers seems the most prevalent though.

You never know what people will find offensive. Of course, commenting on the inappropriate nature of a joke in a thread titled "un PC jokes"...reminds me of the comedy bit, "here's your sign"

Here's just one more. You wanna play rape? NO. That's the spirit.:coffee:

[Wind Song]

Come on Dorothy, why did u have to do that? I made a joke or two about wife beating to. they are JOKES. you gotta learn context.

I made a joke about 10K Muslims at the bottom of the ocean, doesn't mean I condone anyone putting 10K dead Muslims at the bottom of the ocean.

2 steps forward 1 step back with you eh?

I didn't object to your DV or muslim jokes.. I object to rape jokes. Sorry I work with women who've been raped. There isn't a damn thing funny about. I've seen their bruises, and their trauma.

I couldn't help but comment on that gang rape joke and I took note of who just happened to be the one telling the joke.

[ConHog]

I didn't object to your DV or muslim jokes.. I object to rape jokes. Sorry I work with women who've been raped. There isn't a damn thing funny about. I've seen their bruises, and their trauma.

NO ONE here really thinks that rape is funny. The whole idea behind un PC jokes is that they offend someone in fact the more people the better.

here is one for you.

What does a 14 year old girl in Alabama say after losing her virginity?

"Okay Pa now get off me, you're crushing my Skoal can"




Here's another one

What do you call a 12 year old girl in Mississippi who can outrun her brother?


A virgin.

[logroller]

My grandpa was an exterminator in his youth; or "SS officer" as he called it.

[Wind Song]

NO ONE here really thinks that rape is funny. The whole idea behind un PC jokes is that they offend someone in fact the more people the better.

here is one for you.

What does a 14 year old girl in Alabama say after losing her virginity?

"Okay Pa now get off me, you're crushing my Skoal can"




Here's another one

What do you call a 12 year old girl in Mississippi who can outrun her brother?


A virgin.

Logroller thinks rape jokes are funny. That should tell you something.

[Wind Song]

So, here is my challenge for those who want to tell rape jokes:

Ask every woman in your life if she has been sexually assaulted. Ask her to tell you her story. This means your mother, your sister, your girlfriend, your grandma.

Once you have heard all their stories, go watch a movie with a rape scene in it. One you didn’t mind before. One you thought people were overly offended by.

Now tell me a joke.

No, rape jokes aren't funny, but if you think so, then you'd probably think male genital mutilation is hilarious.

[Wind Song]

Rapes jokes aren't funny unless they're forced on you.

[ConHog]

Logroller thinks rape jokes are funny. That should tell you something.


They ARE funny. That doesn't mean rape is funny




So, here is my challenge for those who want to tell rape jokes:

Ask every woman in your life if she has been sexually assaulted. Ask her to tell you her story. This means your mother, your sister, your girlfriend, your grandma.

Once you have heard all their stories, go watch a movie with a rape scene in it. One you didn’t mind before. One you thought people were overly offended by.

Now tell me a joke.



Here is a lesbian telling a rape joke, noway you don't laugh


http://jezebel.com/5881785/a-rape-joke-that-will-actually-make-you-laugh

[logroller]

John Bobbit was asked why he beat up his next girlfriend; didn't he learn his lesson from abusing his wife?

He said he had nothing left to lose.

[Wind Song]

They ARE funny. That doesn't mean rape is funny




Here is a lesbian telling a rape joke, noway you don't laugh


http://jezebel.com/5881785/a-rape-joke-that-will-actually-make-you-laugh

Rape jokes aren't funny unless they're forced on you. Both you and LR are getting off on forcing rape jokes.

[Wind Song]

john bobbit was asked why he beat up his next girlfriend; didn't he learn his lesson from abusing his wife?

He said he had nothing left to lose.
.sad.

I sure hope you don't rape jokes on your first date.

[Wind Song]

"I get it—you're a decent guy. I can even believe it. You've never raped anybody. You would NEVER rape anybody. You're upset that all these feminists are trying to accuse you of doing something, or connect you to doing something, that, as far as you're concerned, you've never done and would never condone.

And they've told you about triggers, and PTSD, and how one in six women is a survivor, and you get it. You do. But you can't let every time someone gets all upset get in the way of you having a good time, right? Especially when it doesn't mean anything. Rape jokes have never made YOU go out and rape someone. They never would; they never could. You just don't see how it matters.

I'm going to tell you how it does matter. And I tell you this because I genuinely believe you mean it when you say you don't want to hurt anybody, and that it's important to you to do your best to be a decent and good person, and that you don't see the harm. And I genuinely believe you when you say you would never associate with a rapist and you think rape really is a very bad thing."

Here is why I refuse to take rape jokes sitting down…

http://www.shakesville.com/2011/03/feminism-101-helpful-hints-for-dudes.html

[logroller]

A girl goes into a tattoo shop and can't decide what to get. Her boyfriendnd suggests a conch shell on her inner thigh.

"Why", she asks.

"Because I can put my ear up to it and smell the ocean."

[ConHog]

What's the difference between Circular Quay and a poof with AIDS?


One's a ferry terminal, the other's a terminal fairy.

[Little-Acorn]

I was offended by some of the jokes in this thread, too.

But did I complain?

No, I simply brush them off and continue on.

I think we'll find that's what most people do.

They are JOKES, no matter how poor the taste. They do no harm.

If there is a movie that I think I won't like, I simply don't go to it.

If there is a TV or radio show that offends me, I simply change the channel.

Most everybody does this. It's called "tolerance". And it's pretty common among most people.

Except little windy, apparently, who screams bloody murder far and wide, every time she runs into something she doesn't like.

Similar to what small babies do.

[Gator Monroe]

My grandpa was an exterminator in his youth; or "SS officer" as he called it.

He would walk around in his old age & say " How did Hitler miss you " to Old Jews on the Streets ...:dance:

[Thunderknuckles]

It's called "tolerance". And it's pretty common among most people.
LOL, never discuss "tolerance" with a leftist. They don't understand the definition of the word. To them it means at the very least empathy. The rest of us understand what tolerance really means which is:
We live with and accept shit we don't like.

[logroller]

A man goes to the doctor to get some test results.
The doctor says, "Ive some bad news; you have cancer and alzheimers."
"oh good," said the man, "I was afraid I had cancer."

[logroller]

I'm hosting an African-themed party; there's no food and the drinks are twelve miles away.

[SassyLady]

Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. Wife: You wear briefs, don't you? </pre>

[SassyLady]

Q. Why were men given larger brains than dogs? A. So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties. </pre>

[logroller]

Last week I got a fortune cookie that said I'd be coming into some money. Then the other night I shagged a girl named Penny. Spooky huh?

[logroller]

I accidentally locked my keys inside my car when it was parked outside an abortion clinic. You should have seen how upset they got when I asked them for a coat hangar.

[logroller]

A man is going on a tour of Australia. At customs he's asked if he'd every been convicted of a crime; to which he responds, " I didn't know that was still required."

[SassyLady]

What's the best way to kill a man?
Put a naked blonde and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.

[Noir]

*points to the sky* "Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Well whatever it is it's heading straight for the world trade centre."

[ConHog]

I was offended by some of the jokes in this thread, too.

But did I complain?

No, I simply brush them off and continue on.

I think we'll find that's what most people do.

They are JOKES, no matter how poor the taste. They do no harm.

If there is a movie that I think I won't like, I simply don't go to it.

If there is a TV or radio show that offends me, I simply change the channel.

Most everybody does this. It's called "tolerance". And it's pretty common among most people.

Except little windy, apparently, who screams bloody murder far and wide, every time she runs into something she doesn't like.

Similar to what small babies do.



What pray tell do large babies do? :D

[logroller]

The most important thing I look for a woman is self-respect; because without that, she's mine!

[jimnyc]

*points to the sky* "Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Well whatever it is it's heading straight for the world trade centre."

Royally fucked up joke, and yet I laughed out loud and thanked you for it! I don't know what is worse, the joke or me! LOL

[logroller]

My body's a temple...but only because it hates Palestine.
--Anthony Jeselnik

[jimnyc]

My body's a temple...but only because it hates Palestine.
--Anthony Jeselnik

I can't recommend Jeselnik enough. Very dry humor, and generally very bad. No one is left un-offended by him, if that's a word!

[4horsemenrule]

Why do mexicans have re-fried beans?

Have you ever heard of a mexican doing anything right the first time?

[Noir]

How do you get a gay to fuck a woman?

Shit in her ****.

[4horsemenrule]

Why can't mexicans be firefighters?

They can't tell Jose from hose B.

[SassyLady]

Did you hear about all the Mexicans that were in a pickup crossing the Rio Grande?

They drown.

They couldn't get the tailgate down.

[SassyLady]

FORD = Fix Or Repair Daily

PONTIAC = Poor Old Niggah Thinks It's A Cadillac

[logroller]

FORD = Fix Or Repair Daily

PONTIAC = Poor Old Niggah Thinks It's A Cadillac
GMC = gay man's Chevy
Oldsmobile = old ladies driving slowly makes others behind infuriatingly late everyday
Dodge = drips oil, drops grease everywhere
Hyundai = hope you understand nothing's drivable and inexpensive
BMW = big money waster

[SassyLady]

GMC = gay man's Chevy
Oldsmobile = old ladies driving slowly makes others behind infuriatingly late everyday
Dodge = drips oil, drops grease everywhere
Hyundai = hope you understand nothing's drivable and inexpensive
BMW = big money waster

What you got for Chrysler?

[Little-Acorn]

What you got for Chrysler?

Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair.

FIAT: Failed Italian Automotive Technology

MINIVAN: Manhood Is Nonexistent, I'm Vasectomized And Neutered

HYUNDAI: Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive

CADILLAC: Crazy And Demented Idiots Like Large American Cars

PORSCHE: Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything

DODGE: Dad's Old Dead Garage Experiment

[logroller]

Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair.

FIAT: Failed Italian Automotive Technology

MINIVAN: Manhood Is Nonexistent, I'm Vasectomized And Neutered

HYUNDAI: Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive

CADILLAC: Crazy And Demented Idiots Like Large American Cars

PORSCHE: Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything

DODGE: Dad's Old Dead Garage Experiment
Ida went with electrical instead of engine on Chrysler, but that's funny. Way funnier than what I was kicking around with cops hate running your stupid license every ....?

[logroller]

How does every black joke start?

By looking over your shoulder.

[logroller]

What's al Qaeda's favorite football team? The New York Jets

[Noir]

What's got eight legs and terrifies woman?

Gang-rape.

[Noir]

Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?

Neither have they.

[logroller]

What's got eight legs and terrifies woman?

Gang-rape.
Some people say you can't tell jokes about rape; well maybe they can't, but my jokes are hilarious. You know I once stopped a girl from getting raped; but in all fairness, I didn't really feel like chasing her.

[Wind Song]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBN5aaApg9Q


Lesbian Jokes with Margaret Cho

[Wind Song]

Marga Gomez-

Lesbian Comic

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6eOIYyMqNU&feature=related

[logroller]

^wrong link I think. Oops, two back now.

[logroller]

You know how to turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS

[Wind Song]

.

[Wind Song]

You know how to turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS

I've lost too many loved ones to find this funny.

[Wind Song]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4nt4U7YGaI

[Wind Song]

.

[Wind Song]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkkRYC781zk&feature=related

[logroller]

When I was in high school I really wanted to be a vet; but then I realized how much work was involved....and that it wasn't just putting down dogs.


*adapted from Anthony Jeselnik*

[Wind Song]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6cnhPfuhvI&feature=related

[Wind Song]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-w7XEEFyvs&feature=related

[Wind Song]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qtlvr6LLV8&feature=related

[Wind Song]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJPbEB5aKO4

[logroller]

How do you fit four gay guys on one barstool? Turn it over.

[Wind Song]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RC-Xkbbks-A&feature=related

[Wind Song]

Q: What happened when jesus went to Mount Olive?
A: Popeye kicked the shit outta him

[Wind Song]

A widowed Jewish lady was sunbathing on a beach at Ft. Myers Florida . She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand next to hers and began reading a book.

Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. 'Hello, sir, how are you today?

'Fine, thank you,' he responded, and turned back to his book.

'I love the beach. Do you come here often?' she asked 'First time since my wife passed away 2 years ago,' he replied and turned back to his book.

'I'm sorry to hear that. My husband passed away 3 years ago and it is very lonely' she countered. Do you live around here?' she asked.

'Yes, I live over in Cape Coral , 'he answered' and again resumed reading.

Trying to find a topic of common interest, she persisted, 'Do you like pussy cats?

With that, the man dropped his book, jumped off his blanket and on to her, tore off her swimsuit and gave her the most passionate ride of her life!

When the cloud of sand began to settle, she gasped and asked the man, 'How did you know that was what I wanted?'

The man replied, 'How did you know my name was Katz?'

[logroller]

http://plancksconstant.org/blog1/iamges/sub9/How-To-Spot-A-Gay-Muslim.jpg

[Trigg]

A baby duck and a baby skunk were standing beside the road looking at their dead parents.

The duck says "my mom died before she told me what I was." The baby skunk says "My mom never told me what I was either, maybe we can describe ourselves and figure it out."

The skunk says to the duck. "well you quack and you're yellow, You must be a duck."

"that's great!" says the duck, "lets see, you're half white and half black and you smell funny...........you must be Puerto Rican"

[Noir]

I think its a shame they had that rock concert to celebrate Princess Diana's life, i mean, she didn't have much to do with music. They should of done something that really related to her life, by having a gang bang in a minefield.

[Noir]

Q. Where do you send jewish kids with A.D.D.?

A. To concentration camps.

----

Q. What’s the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?

A. Michael Phelps could finish a race.

----

Q. Why can't you fool an aborted baby?

A. Because it wasn’t born yesterday.

----

Abortion: Brings out your inner child.