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logroller
05-05-2012, 03:13 PM
A jumbo jet is making its final approach to Tampa Airport. The pilot comes on the intercom, 'This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Tampa I want to thank you for flying with us today and hope you enjoy your stay in the Tampa Bay area'.

He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit.

The copilot can be heard saying to the pilot, 'So, Skip, whatcha got planned while we're in Tampa ?'

'Well,' says the skipper, 'first I'm gonna check into the hotel, take a big crap....then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge tits out for dinner.... I 'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and give her a ride on the baloney pony all night long.'

Aghast and amused, everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the aisle, trying to figure out who this new stewardess is that the pilot's talking about.

Meanwhile, the new stewardess is seated at the very back of the plane. She is so embarrassed that she starts running toward the cockpit to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag and down she goes.

The old lady leans over and says: 'No need to hurry, dear. He's gotta land the plane and take a shit first.

ConHog
05-05-2012, 03:47 PM
A jumbo jet is making its final approach to Tampa Airport. The pilot comes on the intercom, 'This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Tampa I want to thank you for flying with us today and hope you enjoy your stay in the Tampa Bay area'.

He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit.

The copilot can be heard saying to the pilot, 'So, Skip, whatcha got planned while we're in Tampa ?'

'Well,' says the skipper, 'first I'm gonna check into the hotel, take a big crap....then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge tits out for dinner.... I 'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and give her a ride on the baloney pony all night long.'

Aghast and amused, everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the aisle, trying to figure out who this new stewardess is that the pilot's talking about.

Meanwhile, the new stewardess is seated at the very back of the plane. She is so embarrassed that she starts running toward the cockpit to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag and down she goes.

The old lady leans over and says: 'No need to hurry, dear. He's gotta land the plane and take a shit first.


:rofl:

Mr. P
05-05-2012, 03:55 PM
Near an dear! :2up::laugh:

logroller
05-07-2012, 12:11 AM
A girl goes into the doctor and asks, "how many calories are in sperm?"
to which the doctor replies,"if you swallow it doesn't matter if you're fat."

SassyLady
05-07-2012, 12:20 AM
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.

SassyLady
05-07-2012, 12:21 AM
Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.

logroller
05-07-2012, 02:43 AM
The other day the misses asked me "when you're on a guys trip, do you think about me?"
Apparently, "only to keep from coming too fast" was the wrong answer.

SassyLady
05-07-2012, 04:04 AM
Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.