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View Full Version : Pay it Forward~ Acts of kindness



Wind Song
05-28-2012, 08:47 PM
One of my favorites stories is the guy who goes through the toll booth and pays for the car behind him. All day long, each car does that for one behind.

SassyLady
05-28-2012, 11:00 PM
I truly believe that I am blessed because I practice random acts of kindness every day.

Wind Song
05-29-2012, 10:02 AM
Nearly every day I save the life of a sentient being. I usually don't give it a second thought, it's a habit to scoop an insect out of the pet's watering bowl or distract one of my cats from prey.

I'd like to see if I can bring kindness into my posting here. That would involve ignoring any insult directed toward me without returning one. It would be finding the good in other posters and playing responses to that.

tailfins
05-29-2012, 10:10 AM
Nearly every day I save the life of a sentient being. I usually don't give it a second thought, it's a habit to scoop an insect out of the pet's watering bowl or distract one of my cats from prey.

I'd like to see if I can bring kindness into my posting here. That would involve ignoring any insult directed toward me without returning one. It would be finding the good in other posters and playing responses to that.

A good litmus test to see if a liberal really does that is to observe how they respond to an avid racist.

Wind Song
05-29-2012, 10:24 AM
A good litmus test to see if a liberal really does that is to observe how they respond to an avid racist.


Avid racists are easy for me to respond kindly to. I have a much harder time with those who hold more subtle prejudicial views. Those who say they have no bias, when they clearly do.

tailfins
05-29-2012, 10:31 AM
Avid racists are easy for me to respond kindly to. I have a much harder time with those who hold more subtle prejudicial views. Those who say they have no bias, when they clearly do.

I get livid at people that ask my opinion then jump all over me. I remind them THEY initiated the conversation. I don't push my opinions on people, but if they ask I'm not going to lie. If you ask me and don't like my answer - TOUGH COOKIES!

A bias is like an anal cavity: Everybody has one.

Wind Song
05-29-2012, 10:34 AM
Kindness benefits in three ways. The person who does the kindness to another benefits the recipient. The doer of the kindness also benefits themselves because of the joy they have in being kind. And anyone who observes kindness benefits just by witnessing it.

Kindness is contagious.

http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2010/03/kindness-spreads/

Did you know your smile can be a predictor of how long you'll live -- and that a simple smile has a measurable effect on your overall well-being?

http://www.randomactsofkindness.org/Resources/Research/

We examined the relationship between the character strength of kindness and subjective happiness (Study 1), and the effects of a counting kindnesses intervention on subjective happiness (Study 2). In Study 1, participants were 175 Japanese undergraduate students and in Study 2, participants were 119 Japanese women (71 in the intervention group and 48 in the control group).

Results showed that:

(a) Happy people scored higher on their motivation to perform, and their recognition and enactment of kind behaviors.
(b) Happy people have more happy memories in daily life in terms of both quantity and quality.
(c) Subjective happiness was increased simply by counting one's own acts of kindness for one week.
(d) Happy people became more kind and grateful through the counting kindnesses intervention. Discussion centers on the importance of kindness in producing subjective happiness.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1820947/

blarset
05-29-2012, 10:59 AM
Kindness benefits in three ways. The person who does the kindness to another benefits the recipient. The doer of the kindness also benefits themselves because of the joy they have in being kind. And anyone who observes kindness benefits just by witnessing it.

Kindness is contagious.

http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2010/03/kindness-spreads/

Well explain to me cupcake how you can get infected with my kind caring and respectful attitude toward you?

Wind Song
05-29-2012, 11:06 AM
Some people think it's a great kindness to point out another person's flaws. In my opinion, it's much kinder to point out the person's strengths, and positive qualities, and to remind that person of who they really are, instead of judging and criticising them when they're at their worst.

IMO, the second form of kindness is rare on political forums in general.

tailfins
05-29-2012, 11:10 AM
Kindness benefits in three ways. The person who does the kindness to another benefits the recipient. The doer of the kindness also benefits themselves because of the joy they have in being kind. And anyone who observes kindness benefits just by witnessing it.

Kindness is contagious.

http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2010/03/kindness-spreads/



Some people think it's a great kindness to point out another person's flaws. In my opinion, it's much kinder to point out the person's strengths, and positive qualities, and to remind that person of who they really are, instead of judging and criticizing them when they're at their worst.

IMO, the second form of kindness is rare on political forums in general.

Of course any kindness is built on the foundation of don't mess with people. For some people, the kindest thing you can do is don't bother them.

For some really legalistic people, ideological conformity isn't enough. I remember being criticized for letting my youngest son climb up on our old car and wave at people. When someone knocked on my door to complain, I asked how many fingers was he waving with? When they said all five, I asked "what's the problem". They were none too happy.

Wind Song
05-29-2012, 11:12 AM
I agree that sometimes the kindest thing you can do is give a person some space. Especially, when they ask for it. Where that sometimes gets tricky is when both parties are needy and they need opposite things.


And the motivation for the request influences the result. If a person is giving another the silent treatment, (I NEED SPACE), as a form of punishment, that's a much harder condition for the other to extend kindness, (offering space) especially if they're needing contact themselves.

Shunning someone isn't a form of kindness, it's aggression.

blarset
05-29-2012, 11:29 AM
Some people think it's a great kindness to point out another person's flaws. In my opinion, it's much kinder to point out the person's strengths, and positive qualities, and to remind that person of who they really are, instead of judging and criticising them when they're at their worst.

IMO, the second form of kindness is rare on political forums in general.

No thats called enabling you. That isn't what friends do. They don't coddle you when your pushing keys to illicit anger and frustration from other posters, which in my opinion is childish.
You have a responsibility to your friends. Your behavior reflects on us as well.

Wind Song
05-29-2012, 11:31 AM
No thats called enabling you. That isn't what friends do. They don't coddle you when your pushing keys to illicit anger and frustration from other posters, which in my opinion is childish.
You have a responsibility to your friends as well. Your behavior reflects on us as well.

Let's not personalize this discussion.


1. Say "Good morning" to a person standing next to you in the elevator.

2. Pay the toll for the driver behind you.

3. Take a minute to direct someone who is lost, even though you're rushing.

4. Write a letter to a child who could use some extra attention. Kids love getting mail.

5. Offer to pick up groceries for an elderly neighbor, especially in extreme weather.

6. Give a homeless person your doggie bag.

7. Say "I love you" to someone you love.

8. Put a coin in an expired meter.

9. Help a mother carry her baby stroller up the subway stairs, or hold a door open for her.

10. Each time you get a new item of clothing, give away something old.

11. Take someone's shift as the car-pool parent.

12. Bring your assistant coffee.

13. Out of the blue, send flowers to a friend.

14. Say "please" and "thank you"—and really mean it.

15. When you're on a crowded train or bus, offer your seat to an elderly, disabled or pregnant person.

20 more easy ways to brighten the world around you (http://www.oprah.com/spirit/35-Little-Acts-of-Kindness/2)


Read more: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/35-Little-Acts-of-Kindness#ixzz1wHFWevOK

http://www.366randomacts.org/


This is an article that describes one random act of kindness per day.

tailfins
05-29-2012, 12:00 PM
1. Say "Good morning" to a person standing next to you in the elevator.

You never know when you might need their help.

2. Pay the toll for the driver behind you.

Let him/her pay their own toll, unless they are holding up the line

3. Take a minute to direct someone who is lost, even though you're rushing.

And make the people waiting for you pay for it by YOU being late

4. Write a letter to a child who could use some extra attention. Kids love getting mail.

Buy a postcard

5. Offer to pick up groceries for an elderly neighbor, especially in extreme weather.

Nothing says push-over like being someone's go-fer!

6. Give a homeless person your doggie bag.

At least they won't buy booze with it

7. Say "I love you" to someone you love.

Good idea if you want to stay married

8. Put a coin in an expired meter.

Stick it to the sour faced meter maid

9. Help a mother carry her baby stroller up the subway stairs, or hold a door open for her.

Everyone is watching, so it could pay off to be seen as a non-asshole

10. Each time you get a new item of clothing, give away something old.

Too much trouble

11. Take someone's shift as the car-pool parent.

Another way to wear a sign that says "push-over"

12. Bring your assistant coffee.

Who wants an assistant?

13. Out of the blue, send flowers to a friend.

Spend that money on your kids

14. Say "please" and "thank you"—and really mean it.

Just say it or be marked as an asshole.

15. When you're on a crowded train or bus, offer your seat to an elderly, disabled or pregnant person.

That's the law. If you don't, you again get marked as an asshole.


Read more: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/35-Little-Acts-of-Kindness#ixzz1wHFWevOK


Oprah.com ? :puke:

Wind Song
05-29-2012, 12:57 PM
My first act of kindness today involved a Focusing exchange. We were supposed to take turns but my friend needed the session all to her own.