That guy must think he's Jesus Christ

[ConHog]

So Jesus and Moses are out playing golf one Saturday morning and they come to a hole that is 285 yards to the green which is separated from the fairway by a water hazard.

Moses is up first, so he pulls out a fairway wood and hits a beautiful shot that lands 8 feet in front of the water.

Jesus is up next and tells Moses that he is going for the green as he pulls out his driver.

"you'll never make it Jesus, use a wood"

"If Arnold Palmer can make it , so can I"

whack , Jesus hits a perfect shot, right into the water.

Sighing Moses drives the cart to the hazard, parts the water and retrieves Jesus' ball.

"See, I told you, you can't make it, use a wood" Moses says

"If Arnold can do it, so can I"

whack , Jesus hits another ball into the water.

"This is the last time I'm getting your ball " Moses says as he once again parts the water to retrieve Jesus' ball "Use the wood"

"No, if Arnold can make it, so can I" replies Jesus

whack, another shot into the water

This time, Jesus goes to retrieve his own ball, and the next group has arrived and is waiting to play the hole

"Holy shit, that guy is walking on water " one of them yells "he must think he's Jesus Christ"

"No" Moses replies , "He IS Jesus Christ, he thinks he's Arnold Palmer"

[Thunderknuckles]

:thumb:

[gabosaurus]

Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they agree to hold a contest with God as the judge.

They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously for several hours, lines of code streaming up the screen.

Seconds before the end, a bolt of lightning struck taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show what he has come up with.

Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing! I lost it all when the power went out."

"Very well, then," says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better."

Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.

Satan is astonished. He stutters, "But how?! I lost everything, yet
Jesus' program is intact! How did he do it?!"

God chuckles, "Jesus saves."