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View Full Version : First Military Base Same-Sex Wedding Held



Shadow
07-19-2012, 10:05 PM
Two men became the first same-sex couple to marry on a military base when they held their wedding ceremony last month at Joint Base McGuire-Dix-Lakehurst in New Jersey.
Tech Sgt. Erwynn Umali and his partner, Will Behrens, married June 23 on the base where Umali, an active member of the Air Force, had been stationed. It was a decision that would have been unthinkable just nine months ago, before the law requiring them to keep their relationship a secret was repealed.

"We asked [about holding the ceremony on the base], and they were very open about it, but [said], 'No one has ever asked us this question before,'" Umali said in a Facebook chat hosted by Slate. "We did not get any push back from the base or leadership. All they asked was that we be patient because this was the very first one."

Both men say this positive reaction is the same sort of response they have gotten since going public with their relationship to Umali's peers in the military. After Don't Ask, Don't Tell was repealed last September, Umali decided to open up about his relationship with Behrens.

At a farewell luncheon hosted for him on his military base before he left for a special assignment, Umali came out in a very public way. In a speech in front of 40 fellow airmen, he thanked his partner and fiancé. His fellow airmen responded with a standing ovation, according to Slate (http://www.slate.com/articles/life/the_wedding/2012/07/erwynn_umali_and_will_behrens_the_first_gay_weddin g_on_a_military_base_.single.html).

About 150 friends and family attended the ceremony, which was officiated by Evangelical Lutheran Church Navy Chaplain Kay Reeb.
Not everybody has been so accepting of their relationship, however. Both men grew up in strict religious families. Behrens' parents don't approve of his homosexuality, and Umali's parents in the Philippines are still struggling with his homosexuality.

Both Behrens and Umali were previously married to women, and both have two children, all of whom were at the wedding.

http://news.yahoo.com/first-military-same-sex-wedding-held-212144540--abc-news-topstories.html

aboutime
07-20-2012, 02:26 PM
So goes the military.

What we are seeing is the end. One step at a time.

Anyone read about the GENDER NEUTRAL ships where there will no longer be Urinals?

One step at a time. And our Military will slowly move out of the Washington DC, Pentagon area, to relocate in THAN FRAN THISCO, CA.

Nell's Room
07-21-2012, 01:34 AM
I am very happy for them and I wish them many happy years together. :)

Shadow
07-21-2012, 08:43 AM
So goes the military.

What we are seeing is the end. One step at a time.

Anyone read about the GENDER NEUTRAL ships where there will no longer be Urinals?

One step at a time. And our Military will slowly move out of the Washington DC, Pentagon area, to relocate in THAN FRAN THISCO, CA.

I read that story. Said it was to save space and also to make things 'cleaner'. I guess that makes sense if they are going to make men and women share living spaces.

I was wondering just how long the above 'marriage' was going to last...since it seems to be based on making a statement...both in the coming out of the closet...and the marriage ceremony. Our society sure raises a lot of attention seekers these days...doesn't it.

Missileman
07-21-2012, 09:11 AM
I read that story. Said it was to save space and also to make things 'cleaner'. I guess that makes sense if they are going to make men and women share living spaces.

I was wondering just how long the above 'marriage' was going to last...since it seems to be based on making a statement...both in the coming out of the closet...and the marriage ceremony. Our society sure raises a lot of attention seekers these days...doesn't it.

In all fairness, they're not the ones who made the "announcement" on this website. ;)

Shadow
07-21-2012, 09:20 AM
In all fairness, they're not the ones who made the "announcement" on this website. ;)

Nope just on facebook...and in a long speech in front of 50 fellow military members. ;)

Most peeps don't usually need an audience. Just sayin.

jimnyc
07-21-2012, 12:53 PM
They didn't technically get "married". It was a civil union and they still don't get the same "rights" as they did when they were both previously married to women. Gotta wonder about how gay people are "born that way", but somehow get married to the opposite sex and have children.

Tyr-Ziu Saxnot
07-21-2012, 01:39 PM
They didn't technically get "married". It was a civil union and they still don't get the same "rights" as they did when they were both previously married to women. Gotta wonder about how gay people are "born that way", but somehow get married to the opposite sex and have children.

They deserve each other. As both are obviously very ffkked up azzhats and seeking attention. Now they can both play bedroom missile volleys together.-
No way would I allow such an ffed up individual to be my superior anything! I would take zero orders from such scum!
Military moral and discipline will eventually suffer and suffer greatly . Weakening our military is the goal and the dem/libs will use anything to do that IMHO.-Tyr

aboutime
07-21-2012, 01:53 PM
Many here will call me Old Fashioned, and unwilling to accept change. But what we are seeing, across the board Morally in this nation is...the slow disintegration of a Once Proud, God fearing nation where we were born into knowing, and being taught the differences between Right and Wrong, Good and Evil, Honor and Dishonesty.

This is just one of the first steps leading toward anarchy...within the military.

Frankly. I don't care what anyone else thinks about what I said above.
None of you think for me. None of you tell me what to do, and none of you will ever volunteer to support me, and my family for the rest of our lives. So. Until someone steps forward and agree's to pay all of my bills, my health care, my mortgage, my insurances..WITHOUT question.

I have no need to care, or be concerned with ANYTHING any of you think about my opinions.

Thunderknuckles
07-21-2012, 01:54 PM
Good for them.

I got married at my wife's uncle's home. Anyone want to hear about it?

:dunno:

Nell's Room
07-22-2012, 04:55 AM
They didn't technically get "married". It was a civil union and they still don't get the same "rights" as they did when they were both previously married to women. Gotta wonder about how gay people are "born that way", but somehow get married to the opposite sex and have children.

Self loathing. They think that if they get married they will be 'cured' of what they believe is a sickness. Happens more than you think.

Noir
07-22-2012, 09:51 AM
Nope just on facebook...and in a long speech in front of 50 fellow military members. ;)

Most peeps don't usually need an audience. Just sayin.

So everyone who announces their marriage/partnership on Facebook is attention seeking?..

As an aside, those of an older generation may know, is this following a similar path as to when interracial marriages first started popping up?

Shadow
07-22-2012, 10:10 AM
So everyone who announces their marriage/partnership on Facebook is attention seeking?..

As an aside, those of an older generation may know, is this following a similar path as to when interracial marriages first started popping up?

Not just facebook....a facebook chat with a political magazine.

And yes...trying to make the 'event' a political statement is attention seeking. An example of a quote from the man via slate...


"I never thought I'd be able dance with a man like this on a military installation," Umali said.

Noir
07-22-2012, 10:21 AM
Not just facebook....a facebook chat with a political magazine.

And yes...trying to make the 'event' a political statement is attention seeking. An example of a quote from the man via slate...



So a magazine wanted to interview them?

In any case because they were the 'first' it will be a political statement whether they want it to or not. In much the same way as I'm sure the first inter-racial marriages where (which was why it was included in my last post)

Shadow
07-22-2012, 10:30 AM
They didn't technically get "married". It was a civil union and they still don't get the same "rights" as they did when they were both previously married to women. Gotta wonder about how gay people are "born that way", but somehow get married to the opposite sex and have children.

I was told by a gay friend it is because...

They have never accepted their true sexuality OR some men are just totally unaware of their full sexuality at the time they decide to marry. Which of course makes no sense if they were "born that way".

Was also told that a lot of gay men in opposite sex marraiges don't even question their sexuality until their kids are grown and gone from the home. Kind of like they are actually having a mid life crisis.

Shadow
07-22-2012, 10:49 AM
So a magazine wanted to interview them?

In any case because they were the 'first' it will be a political statement whether they want it to or not. In much the same way as I'm sure the first inter-racial marriages where (which was why it was included in my last post)


Even more so when you are actively making it a 'statement'. Which is why I said I wondered how long it would last.

There was a story not too long ago about the first couple who fought for gay marriage to be legal finally getting to marry after so much adversity. And now....they are already divorced. Infact there are MANY stories like this with some of these marriages not even lasting a year.

Apparently the 'statement' was more important than the relationship?

taft2012
07-22-2012, 10:56 AM
There have been gay police officers and firefighters since before I can remember. They aren't pouring into police precincts and firehouses to have their wedding ceremonies.

This is simply an "in your face" move.

Thanks Obama. :thumb:

Noir
07-22-2012, 10:59 AM
There have been gay police officers and firefighters since before I can remember. They aren't pouring into police precincts and firehouses to have their wedding ceremonies.

This is simply an "in your face" move.

Thanks Obama. :thumb:

Do hetrosexual couples pour into police precincts and firehouses to have their wedding ceremonies?

Noir
07-22-2012, 11:01 AM
Even more so when you are actively making it a 'statement'. Which is why I said I wondered how long it would last.

There was a story not too long ago about the first couple who fought for gay marriage to be legal finally getting to marry after so much adversity. And now....they are already divorced. Infact there are MANY stories like this with some of these marriages not even lasting a year.

Apparently the 'statement' was more important than the relationship?

Maybe they're just trying to show how alike hetro and homo marriages are by also having a 50% divorce rate.

Shadow
07-22-2012, 11:12 AM
Maybe they're just trying to show how alike hetro and homo marriages are by also having a 50% divorce rate.

Doubtful since the divorce rates in the US for the majority of age groups have been declining steadily since 1996.

Noir
07-22-2012, 11:24 AM
Doubtful since the divorce rates in the US for the majority of age groups have been declining steadily since 1996.

Slowly but surly, but the gays have some work to do to catch up first.

Shadow
07-22-2012, 11:32 AM
Slowly but surly, but the gays have some work to do to catch up first.

And that is supposed to mean what exactly? That ALL their marriages are only a 'statement' ?

Missileman
07-22-2012, 03:07 PM
And that is supposed to mean what exactly? That ALL their marriages are only a 'statement' ?

I believe what he's saying is that it may well turn out that gay marriages are no more enduring than straight, but at the moment, the gay divorce rate is only a miniscule fraction of the straight rate.

taft2012
07-23-2012, 05:29 AM
Do hetrosexual couples pour into police precincts and firehouses to have their wedding ceremonies?

No, nor do they pour onto military bases to get married.

Missileman
07-23-2012, 06:00 AM
No, nor do they pour onto military bases to get married.

Military couples get married on base very frequently.

Noir
07-23-2012, 07:40 AM
No, nor do they pour onto military bases to get married.

Le sigh. So did you intentionally miss the point or are we going to have to go through this at a slower pace?

Shadow
07-23-2012, 08:07 AM
Le sigh. So did you intentionally miss the point or are we going to have to go through this at a slower pace?

Setting up a gay marrriage ceremony in a firehouse or police station doesn't make the same 'statement' as it does when done on a military base. And since that's what this particular story is all about...

Yep...we get it.

Shadow
07-23-2012, 08:11 AM
I believe what he's saying is that it may well turn out that gay marriages are no more enduring than straight, but at the moment, the gay divorce rate is only a miniscule fraction of the straight rate.

Now... mind you... I really don't care all that much if gay folks are serious about their relationship and want to get married....but that argument just does not make me want to run out and advocate for them at all....

'We don't really want (or intend) to take marriage seriously... we just want to change it to prove we can'.

Noir
07-23-2012, 09:26 AM
Setting up a gay marrriage ceremony in a firehouse or police station doesn't make the same 'statement' as it does when done on a military base. And since that's what this particular story is all about...

Yep...we get it.

Not what i was saying (obviously)

However, even if you take that line of argument you have to notice that the fundamental fault in it. It's not a 'statement' in a firehouse etc because there was no problem in being a gay fireman/woman. At some point in the future, when the gays in the military have been 'out' for as long as the firemen/women have, then it won't be a statement.

Noir
07-23-2012, 09:27 AM
Now... mind you... I really don't care all that much if gay folks are serious about their relationship and want to get married....but that argument just does not make me want to run out and advocate for them at all....

'We don't really want (or intend) to take marriage seriously... we just want to change it to prove we can'.

I think you are taking a sarcastic quip too seriously.