PDA

View Full Version : Trophy backlash: Are we rewarding kids for just showing up?



Shadow
07-24-2012, 12:00 AM
This Friday, 14,000 athletes from 204 countries around the world will gather in London for the opening of the Olympic Games. Imagine their excitement as each of these athletes prepares to compete.

Now imagine each and every one receiving a gold medal – just for “showing up.” Sounds stupid, right? After all, that’s not what sports are about. In sports, somebody wins - somebody loses. Somebody gets a gold medal and somebody goes home empty handed. That’s sports. That’s life.

So tell me, why do we feel the need to award every kid a trophy for every sport they play? There are few debates in parenthood – with the exception of breast-feeding – that are as heated as that over whether every kid should get a trophy. But there may be a trophy backlash brewing.

http://moms.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/07/23/12896389-trophy-backlash-are-we-rewarding-kids-for-just-showing-up?lite&__utma=14933801.1643299974.1342577969.1342882615.1 343105634.5&__utmb=14933801.3.10.1343105634&__utmc=14933801&__utmx=-&__utmz=14933801.1343105634.5.5.utmcsr=bing|utmccn= (organic)|utmcmd=organic|utmctr=msnbc%20news&__utmv=14933801.|8=Earned%20By=msnbc%7Ccover=1^12= Landing%20Content=Mixed=1^13=Landing%20Hostname=ww w.nbcnews.com=1^30=Visit%20Type%20to%20Content=Ear ned%20to%20Mixed=1&__utmk=186751272

SassyLady
07-24-2012, 12:05 AM
As I've said before ... not everyone is equal, and yet today's society wants everyone to think they are equal. Imagine the heartbreak and emotional trauma when a child becomes an adult and enters the real world, where you don't get paid for just showing up!! ......well, I guess there are some places where that does happen .....

DragonStryk72
07-24-2012, 02:03 AM
This Friday, 14,000 athletes from 204 countries around the world will gather in London for the opening of the Olympic Games. Imagine their excitement as each of these athletes prepares to compete.

Now imagine each and every one receiving a gold medal – just for “showing up.” Sounds stupid, right? After all, that’s not what sports are about. In sports, somebody wins - somebody loses. Somebody gets a gold medal and somebody goes home empty handed. That’s sports. That’s life.

So tell me, why do we feel the need to award every kid a trophy for every sport they play? There are few debates in parenthood – with the exception of breast-feeding – that are as heated as that over whether every kid should get a trophy. But there may be a trophy backlash brewing.

http://moms.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/07/23/12896389-trophy-backlash-are-we-rewarding-kids-for-just-showing-up?lite&__utma=14933801.1643299974.1342577969.1342882615.1 343105634.5&__utmb=14933801.3.10.1343105634&__utmc=14933801&__utmx=-&__utmz=14933801.1343105634.5.5.utmcsr=bing|utmccn= (organic)|utmcmd=organic|utmctr=msnbc%20news&__utmv=14933801.|8=Earned%20By=msnbc%7Ccover=1^12= Landing%20Content=Mixed=1^13=Landing%20Hostname=ww w.nbcnews.com=1^30=Visit%20Type%20to%20Content=Ear ned%20to%20Mixed=1&__utmk=186751272 (http://moms.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/07/23/12896389-trophy-backlash-are-we-rewarding-kids-for-just-showing-up?lite&__utma=14933801.1643299974.1342577969.1342882615.1 343105634.5&__utmb=14933801.3.10.1343105634&__utmc=14933801&__utmx=-&__utmz=14933801.1343105634.5.5.utmcsr=bing%7Cutmcc n=%28organic%29%7Cutmcmd=organic%7Cutmctr=msnbc%20 news&__utmv=14933801.%7C8=Earned%20By=msnbc%7Ccover=1%5 E12=Landing%20Content=Mixed=1%5E13=Landing%20Hostn ame=www.nbcnews.com=1%5E30=Visit%20Type%20to%20Con tent=Earned%20to%20Mixed=1&__utmk=186751272)

Actually, the whole thing leaves our kids behind in dealing with setbacks and losses. They never learn to pick themselves up, because parents never let them get knocked down.

Kathianne
07-24-2012, 04:58 AM
I think the worst part of just 'giving out awards' for participating is that there literally is no real feedback for the kids or their parents. While one would hope that parents can evaluate their child's performance with the others, it's not always the case. To expect a child to do so? Not likely. The 'team' that never becomes a team, but just a bunch of kids running around and not thinking about their goals, get the same award that the team that works as one. Even within a team, the few that lead and the few that are there just because they were signed up by their parents, get the same award. No incentive to be 'the best' and no evaluation if you are doing better or worse than anyone else.

How are kids to really evaluate themselves and what they are good at? Oh, they know the 'best' and they know the 'worst', but most are in the middle and don't know where they fit within that whole. I do think that's part of the reason that so many opt out of extracurricular in middle school or high school. If they'd had decent evals, they'd pick what they are best at before that time.

There are exceptions: music programs tend to evaluate often and critically. Most 'traveling teams' in all sports do also. Problem is, there are expensive and require a great deal of parental involvement.

Shadow
07-24-2012, 07:10 AM
Actually, the whole thing leaves our kids behind in dealing with setbacks and losses. They never learn to pick themselves up, because parents never let them get knocked down.

Coaches are just as bad...even starting early on with the little kids in grade school. If you don't run fast enough,kick far enough,stand out in a crowd from day one. You never get to play the choice positions...therefore never learn or enjoy the game.

Gaffer
07-24-2012, 07:49 AM
Coaches are just as bad...even starting early on with the little kids in grade school. If you don't run fast enough,kick far enough,stand out in a crowd from day one. You never get to play the choice positions...therefore never learn or enjoy the game.

Or are related to the coach.

Shadow
07-24-2012, 08:05 AM
Or are related to the coach.

That too. :thumb:

jimnyc
07-24-2012, 08:37 AM
Kids need to learn to deal with losing and setbacks, whether in sports or daily life. This is done by parenting, and coaching as in this example. When I was younger, trophies were handed out generally for 1st, 2nd and 3rd - and all others were shit out of luck. And you know what? The years that I got nothing, I was cool with that, and just wanted to get better!

My sons last baseball team finished like last place or close to that. They were still given a trophy. Even my son at the time was confused. He outright stated that his team stunk and he didn't know why they were getting a trophy.

Abbey Marie
07-24-2012, 08:39 AM
I think the worst part of just 'giving out awards' for participating is that there literally is no real feedback for the kids or their parents. While one would hope that parents can evaluate their child's performance with the others, it's not always the case. To expect a child to do so? Not likely. The 'team' that never becomes a team, but just a bunch of kids running around and not thinking about their goals, get the same award that the team that works as one. Even within a team, the few that lead and the few that are there just because they were signed up by their parents, get the same award. No incentive to be 'the best' and no evaluation if you are doing better or worse than anyone else.

How are kids to really evaluate themselves and what they are good at? Oh, they know the 'best' and they know the 'worst', but most are in the middle and don't know where they fit within that whole. I do think that's part of the reason that so many opt out of extracurricular in middle school or high school. If they'd had decent evals, they'd pick what they are best at before that time.

There are exceptions: music programs tend to evaluate often and critically. Most 'traveling teams' in all sports do also. Problem is, there are expensive and require a great deal of parental involvement.

I see parallels here to our state's primary education goal of "Closing the achievement gap". Which is edu-speak for making sure minorities do as well on standardized tests as the white kids. Very few people seem to care anymore about excellence in academics. It is actually more important in our state that minorities do as well as others, than it is that test scores go up overall. With this goal, it is pretty apparent to me that we will not be producing many future excellent scientists, doctors, etc.

Roo
07-24-2012, 08:43 AM
I coached Baseball for 12 years.....I was never for "participation" trophies.

You can't let a kid play a position he can't handle...even in T-Ball, if they don't have the requisite reflexes they will get hurt and then its game over for them.

Having said that...yes many coaches tend to favor their own.

Trigg
07-24-2012, 10:06 AM
I see parallels here to our state's primary education goal of "Closing the achievement gap". Which is edu-speak for making sure minorities do as well on standardized tests as the white kids. Very few people seem to care anymore about excellence in academics. It is actually more important in our state that minorities do as well as others, than it is that test scores go up overall. With this goal, it is pretty apparent to me that we will not be producing many future excellent scientists, doctors, etc.

I've noticed that for a while now. The schools, thanks to no child left behind, have simply slowed everything down. The average and brighter students aren't learning what they should because the slower students have gotten everything dumped down.

Many teachers stimply teach for the next test, instead of engaging the children and trying anything new.

As far as the original topic. YES there are too many trophies being handed out. Not everyone can win, not everyone should. Kids understand that, it's the parents that have a problem if little Johnny gets disappointed. There are too many parents raising kids who think they are the best, these poor kids are going to go out into the world and have no ides how to deal with NOT being special.

Thunderknuckles
07-24-2012, 10:14 AM
Unfortunately they did this crap in my sons' little league. Thankfully it is balanced out by his Shihan at his Martial Arts class. Shihan will absolutely not grant badges, certificates, belts, or any of the many honors you can achieve in his Dojo unless you have met his requirements. My son just got turned down last week for an honor because his school grades were not good enough, particularly in reading. Shihan pulled us both aside and explained the situation to both my son and I. The first thing my son did when he got home was open up a book and start reading. I was very proud of my son because disappointment and failure motivated him to do better, not sit in a corner and cry about it. I have no idea where adults today get they idea that children can't handle failure.

On a related note, this "participation award" crap apparently is good for adults as well. My company just had a bowling tournament. There was a winning team and they got a trophy. The rest of us were awarded both a Medal of Participation and Certificate of Achievement!! Once they started handing those out, I quietly excused myself from the room as I wanted no part of that. Apparently, I wasn't the only one as there were a number of unclaimed medals that they were left with.

Gaffer
07-24-2012, 10:40 AM
Unfortunately they did this crap in my sons' little league. Thankfully it is balanced out by his Shihan at his Martial Arts class. Shihan will absolutely not grant badges, certificates, belts, or any of the many honors you can achieve in his Dojo unless you have met his requirements. My son just got turned down last week for an honor because his school grades were not good enough, particularly in reading. Shihan pulled us both aside and explained the situation to both my son and I. The first thing my son did when he got home was open up a book and start reading. I was very proud of my son because disappointment and failure motivated him to do better, not sit in a corner and cry about it. I have no idea where adults today get they idea that children can't handle failure.

On a related note, this "participation award" crap apparently is good for adults as well. My company just had a bowling tournament. There was a winning team and they got a trophy. The rest of us were awarded both a Medal of Participation and Certificate of Achievement!! Once they started handing those out, I quietly excused myself from the room as I wanted no part of that. Apparently, I wasn't the only one as there were a number of unclaimed medals that they were left with.

That reminds me of my mothers trophy collection. My father had a number of first place trophies from bowling. My mothers team, however always finished last and they got a last place trophy, a woman with a ball on the ground and she's holding her foot.

Kathianne
07-24-2012, 05:06 PM
Coaches are just as bad...even starting early on with the little kids in grade school. If you don't run fast enough,kick far enough,stand out in a crowd from day one. You never get to play the choice positions...therefore never learn or enjoy the game.

One of the things I always liked about AYSO soccer, was that kids all played at least 1/4 game, regardless of ability or skills. It gave time to develop and that's very important. While all three of my kids played at least 2 years, the youngest loved soccer and was extremely good at it. By the time he was in 4th grade, his AYSO coach said, "Get him on traveling team.' I could afford it for about 2 years, then got way too expensive, both costs and time. Driving sometimes 50 miles each way. I was working 80-90 hours per week! LOL! He played on soccer team in middle school, but blew out both knees. His problem was the pivots that are constant in soccer. After he 'healed,' he thought he'd play in high school, but eventually went with cross country and made All State.

Shadow
07-24-2012, 10:42 PM
I've noticed that for a while now. The schools, thanks to no child left behind, have simply slowed everything down. The average and brighter students aren't learning what they should because the slower students have gotten everything dumped down.

Many teachers stimply teach for the next test, instead of engaging the children and trying anything new.

As far as the original topic. YES there are too many trophies being handed out. Not everyone can win, not everyone should. Kids understand that, it's the parents that have a problem if little Johnny gets disappointed. There are too many parents raising kids who think they are the best, these poor kids are going to go out into the world and have no ides how to deal with NOT being special.

I agree that the kids understand not everyone wins. Even among the kids polled in the article...most felt it was unfair for kids who didn't show up for practice or try hard to do their best to get trophies too...when they felt they did. So...it still teaches kids things aren't fair...but not in a good team building way.


One of the things I always liked about AYSO soccer, was that kids all played at least 1/4 game, regardless of ability or skills. It gave time to develop and that's very important. While all three of my kids played at least 2 years, the youngest loved soccer and was extremely good at it. By the time he was in 4th grade, his AYSO coach said, "Get him on traveling team.' I could afford it for about 2 years, then got way too expensive, both costs and time. Driving sometimes 50 miles each way. I was working 80-90 hours per week! LOL! He played on soccer team in middle school, but blew out both knees. His problem was the pivots that are constant in soccer. After he 'healed,' he thought he'd play in high school, but eventually went with cross country and made All State.

My daughter loved it when she had coaches that let her try all of the positions...forward...mid field...defender especially. She hated being the goalie though... she had a coach one year...that forced her to be the goalie in every game. She lost interest and quit...because she learned to hate to play the game.

She took up music instead. ;)

SassyLady
07-25-2012, 01:38 AM
This is why I dislike unions .... no matter how hard one works they compensated at the same rate as the one that doesn't.