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jimnyc
07-30-2012, 12:27 PM
”How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell ‘BINGO!’”

Little-Acorn
07-30-2012, 01:20 PM
Famous comedian George Burns remarked during a show around his 95th birthday:

"Yes, there are lots of problems with getting old. It's a lot harder to chase pretty girls, for one thing. They run so fast! It take a long time to catch one. And when you finally catch her, you've forgotten what you wanted her for."

Said1
07-30-2012, 02:24 PM
I worked at a bingo hall years ago, almost as bad as a biker bar!

aboutime
07-30-2012, 03:08 PM
Every time someone says I'm too old. I take it as a compliment, and remind them. If they are able to live long enough. Someone will ONE DAY, accuse them the same way.

The only people WE Older people listen to, without fail are...Those who offer to pay all of our bills, treat us to Dinner every day, and stop laughing at us when we remind them. They aren't as smart as they think they are.

gabosaurus
07-30-2012, 03:47 PM
Fred Sanford: "Look at that girl over there! My oh my oh my!"

Lamont: "Pop, you're just a dirty old man!"

Fred: "And I'm gonna be one 'til I'm a dead old man."

Shadow
07-30-2012, 10:16 PM
”How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell ‘BINGO!’”

My ex tried to help an old gentleman work the gas pump once. He learned his lesson though. The old guy told him to "FUCK OFF". You should have seen the shock on his face. lol

hjmick
07-30-2012, 10:25 PM
Growing old isn't for pussies...

Dilloduck
07-30-2012, 10:29 PM
Growing old isn't for pussies...


Damn straight--takes a real man to gum his food.

Gaffer
08-05-2012, 07:27 PM
My T-shirt says..

First I was a good boy
Then I became a nice kid
I was a great guy
Later I grew to become a fine man
Now I'm just an old fart

aboutime
08-05-2012, 08:20 PM
I enjoy being called Old. Mostly by our grandkids who can call me anything they like.

My favorite line of Ronald Reagan had to do with his Alzheimers.
A reporter asked him if he noticed any differences in life since the disease took over.

Reagan replied "I love making NEW FRIENDS every day!"

Gaffer
08-05-2012, 09:29 PM
My grandson, when he was about four years old was discussing the movie Shrek with some friends of his. They were standing in the driveway and I was behind him. One of the kids mentioned he liked the song I'm a believer. They all agreed it was a cool song but one said it was a new one. My grandson then said "No it's not, it's an old song." the other said "No it's new for the movie." My grandson then said "No it's not, my grandpa said it's an old song and he knows cause he's older than dirt." :laugh:

aboutime
08-06-2012, 10:45 AM
My grandson, when he was about four years old was discussing the movie Shrek with some friends of his. They were standing in the driveway and I was behind him. One of the kids mentioned he liked the song I'm a believer. They all agreed it was a cool song but one said it was a new one. My grandson then said "No it's not, it's an old song." the other said "No it's new for the movie." My grandson then said "No it's not, my grandpa said it's an old song and he knows cause he's older than dirt." :laugh:


When the grandkids are around. It's actually more fun, being OLDER than dirt!

SassyLady
08-07-2012, 04:07 AM
My grandkids have grown up watching the "Land Before Time" movies ... animated about dinosaurs. One day my grandson turned around and asked me what kind of dinosaur I had as a pet when I was a little girl! LMAO!!

jimnyc
08-07-2012, 06:53 AM
My grandkids have grown up watching the "Land Before Time" movies ... animated about dinosaurs. One day my grandson turned around and asked me what kind of dinosaur I had as a pet when I was a little girl! LMAO!!

I have all of them on DVD! I saw my son watching one once and thought to myself that is was kinda lame to have talking Dinosaurs. Within a few weeks I had ordered "him" the entire box set!

SassyLady
08-07-2012, 07:26 AM
I have all of them on DVD! I saw my son watching one once and thought to myself that is was kinda lame to have talking Dinosaurs. Within a few weeks I had ordered "him" the entire box set!

All three of my grandkids have had the "experience" ..... and I've had it over and over and over and over .... they can recite the entire dialogue. I thought the first ones were cute and really enjoyed them with first grandchild .... but now?! They get to watch with their little brother and grammy gets to read a book!!!

Be careful, Jim! You might be equated with dinosaurs some day.

PostmodernProphet
08-07-2012, 10:35 AM
dad was 95 when he died.....he used to say that the worst thing about being 95 was knowing that all those old people around him in the nursing home hadn't been born yet when he turned 21......

aboutime
08-07-2012, 04:33 PM
Just wondering how many Grand parents are out there. Reading this right now?

The greatest part of getting older is, and has been GRAND KIDS.

The unconditional, special kind of love we feel, and are given from those little people is priceless.

If you have a DAY, or WEEK to spare here. I will happily SHARE all of the experiences I have had with our FIVE grand children. All of whom are MUCH SMARTER than POP.