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View Full Version : Nudist Slams Testicles In Car Door.



stephanie
05-24-2007, 05:31 PM
:eek:

Posted in What The ? by Klink on the May 24th, 2007
Most everyone at sometime or another has smashed their finger while closing a door. The excruciating pain of a smashed finger cannot compare to the pain suffered by a 73 year old nudist this week in Florida.



While staying at the RV campground section of the Cypress Cove Nudist Resort near Orlando Florida, the sun worshiper’s slip up almost cost him his testicles. After backing his small camper into its parking spot at the resort, he and his wife were gathering some things out of the back seats of there car. The man had his arms full and attempted to close the car door by shutting it with his rear end.

Everybody in the campground knew that someone had gotten hurt pretty bad ,said one of the resorts employees. With the mixture of the man and his wife screaming the mishap could be heard through out half of the resort.

They were only stuck in the door for maybe 5 seconds ,said the nudist who refused to give out his name. My wife was as scared as I was. As soon as I shut the door I knew I had messed up in a big way. I guess they just swung back and got slammed in there when I pushed the door closed with my butt, he said.

I can’t imagine the pain he was in but they didn’t fill the need to go to the hospital and they plan on finishing out they vacation in Orlando.
http://www.funtechtalk.com/nudist-slams-testicles-in-car-door/

shattered
05-24-2007, 05:32 PM
Damn, that just poses WAY too many questions I DON'T want the answer to.

...and a really bad visual.

Abbey Marie
05-24-2007, 05:35 PM
Damn, that just poses WAY too many questions I DON'T want the answer to.

...and a really bad visual.


I know what you mean. It just doesn't seem, oh well, never mind.

shattered
05-24-2007, 05:36 PM
I know what you mean. It just doesn't seem, oh well, never mind.

Right.. And so very wrong, it can't even be funny...

Pale Rider
05-24-2007, 05:39 PM
OK girls... I'll say it so you don't have to... the guy must have had a sack hanging like a stud bull. :laugh2:

Abbey Marie
05-24-2007, 05:40 PM
OK girls... I'll say it so you don't have to... the guy must have had a sack hanging like a stud bull. :laugh2:

I had to rep you for that one, Pale! :laugh2:

shattered
05-24-2007, 05:41 PM
OK girls... I'll say it so you don't have to... the guy must have had a sack hanging like a stud bull. :laugh2:

He was 73! How far did it have to drop to....

Ack.

Pale Rider
05-24-2007, 05:42 PM
I had to rep you for that one, Pale! :laugh2:

Thanks Abbey... :laugh2:

Nienna
05-24-2007, 05:43 PM
Ick. Blech. :shiver:

Pale Rider
05-24-2007, 05:43 PM
He was 73! How far did it have to drop to....

Ack.

Do I need to elaborate even further? :eek:

shattered
05-24-2007, 05:45 PM
Do I need to elaborate even further? :eek:

I *told* you this image was all wrong.. I also said it raises a whole host of questions.. :D

Abbey Marie
05-24-2007, 05:45 PM
It all works out, since his wife's boobs are probably at about the same height off the ground. :coffee:

stephanie
05-24-2007, 05:46 PM
I figured I'd post this...To give all you nudist guys here on the board...

A warning!!!!!

:laugh2:

shattered
05-24-2007, 05:47 PM
I figured I'd post this...To give all you nudist guys here on the board...

A warning!!!!!

:laugh2:

You should probably be mass-dinged for injecting everyones head with such a visual. :poke:

stephanie
05-24-2007, 05:49 PM
You should probably be mass-dinged for injecting everyones head with such a visual. :poke:

:laugh2:

Pale Rider
05-24-2007, 05:49 PM
You should probably be mass-dinged for injecting everyones head with such a visual. :poke:

Hell I pos repped her for such a good laugh. :2up:

Pale Rider
05-24-2007, 05:50 PM
It all works out, since his wife's boobs are probably at about the same height off the ground. :coffee:

:laugh2:

Abbey Marie
05-24-2007, 05:50 PM
Optional titles for the story:

The Case of the Crushed Cajones

The Saga of the Sagging Sacs

Great Balls of Fire

Pale Rider
05-24-2007, 05:51 PM
It all works out, since his wife's boobs are probably at about the same height off the ground. :coffee:

:laugh2: :clap: :laugh: :bow2: :lol: :lmao:

shattered
05-24-2007, 05:51 PM
Hell I pos repped her for such a good laugh. :2up:

So did I, but I scolded her. :)

Pale Rider
05-24-2007, 05:52 PM
Optional titles for the story:

The Case of the Crushed Cajones

The Saga of the Sagging Sacs

Great Balls of Fire

Cracked Nuts In Season.

stephanie
05-24-2007, 05:53 PM
Optional titles for the story:

The Case of the Crushed Cajones

The Saga of the Sagging Sacs

Great Balls of Fire

:lmao:
good ones...

Pale Rider
05-24-2007, 05:55 PM
The board needs something to lighten it up every now and then Stephanie. That was a GOOD one... :beer:

stephanie
05-24-2007, 05:57 PM
I hear ya Pale...

Thanks all.....:cheers2:

5stringJeff
05-24-2007, 06:14 PM
I could have gone my whole life without imaging the pain one must feel whe getting your sagging nuts slammed in a car door. Thanks...

Bulldog
05-24-2007, 06:15 PM
I just choked on my coffee reading these replies! :laugh2: :clap:

Sad, but undeniably hilarious! :lol:

Bulldog.

shattered
05-24-2007, 06:17 PM
I could have gone my whole life without imaging the pain one must feel whe getting your sagging nuts slammed in a car door. Thanks...

Sagging is putting it mildly.. Did he not wear underwear his entire life? How far back did they have to fly to get caught in a car door that he slammed shut with his BUTT? You gotta figure close to a foot...

Wrong.
Bad.
Wrong.
Bad.

stephanie
05-24-2007, 06:20 PM
Sagging is putting it mildly.. Did he not wear underwear his entire life? How far back did they have to fly to get caught in a car door that he slammed shut with his BUTT? You gotta figure close to a foot...

Wrong.
Bad.
Wrong.
Bad.

:laugh2:

Bulldog
05-24-2007, 06:20 PM
Now you're making my eyes water! :eek:

Bulldog.

5stringJeff
05-24-2007, 06:21 PM
Sagging is putting it mildly.. Did he not wear underwear his entire life? How far back did they have to fly to get caught in a car door that he slammed shut with his BUTT? You gotta figure close to a foot...

Wrong.
Bad.
Wrong.
Bad.

Ever see Silence of the Lambs? Nutsacks can swing back, especially if a guy is bent over sufficiently.

There's some more great mental images for you, eh?

shattered
05-24-2007, 06:22 PM
Ever see Silence of the Lambs? Nutsacks can swing back, especially if a guy is bent over sufficiently.

There's some more great mental images for you, eh?

I've seen Silence several times.. It's one of my fav movies.. But.. he wasn't bent over! He was..oh, hell. Nevermind.

chum43
05-24-2007, 06:23 PM
when I read that he was 73 I was half expecting to read that he was still sitting in the car when it happened.

the lesson, never close the door with your butt if you don't have pants on... the guy deserved it, nudists should know not to keep the family jewels so close to danger.

stephanie
05-24-2007, 06:26 PM
He should of been wearing....

An under the butt nut hut....:poke:

shattered
05-24-2007, 06:28 PM
I could never join a nudist colony.. I'd be too busy telling certain people to put clothes on...

stephanie
05-24-2007, 06:34 PM
The sight... of all the boobs and........other things..
Flopping all around.....:eek:

Pale Rider
05-24-2007, 06:34 PM
He should of been wearing....

An under the butt nut hut....:poke:

Then grandmaw should have been wearing an over the shoulder boulder holder.

stephanie
05-24-2007, 06:35 PM
Then grandmaw should have been wearing an over the shoulder boulder holder.

Yep...:laugh2:

Pale Rider
05-24-2007, 06:35 PM
I could never join a nudist colony.. I'd be too busy telling certain people to put clothes on...

Seriously.... SERIOUSLY... I totally agree. All that fat, wrinkles, stretch marks, sagging, disproportion.... :puke:

5stringJeff
05-24-2007, 06:36 PM
He should of been wearing....

An under the butt nut hut....:poke:

You mean a banana hammock? :banana:



But of course he wasn't wearing anything... it's a nudist colony!

shattered
05-24-2007, 06:37 PM
I want my mommy. People should be well-protected from such images.. They're mentally traumatizing.

stephanie
05-24-2007, 06:40 PM
You mean a banana hammock? :banana:



But of course he wasn't wearing anything... it's a nudist colony!

Never heard that one before...:laugh2:

Mr. P
05-24-2007, 06:51 PM
That pain shoot to my stomach! Damn!

Bulldog
05-25-2007, 05:16 PM
:::NEWS FLASH:::

The man's wife has been reported as saying, "I never found reason to complain about the size of my husband's freehold, but he keeps moaning about his 2 acres!" :laugh2:

Bulldog.

Abbey Marie
05-26-2018, 10:54 AM
So, to lighten the mood, let’s all re-enjoy this old chestNUT of a thread.

:laugh:

jimnyc
05-26-2018, 11:19 AM
Sweet, necroposting a 10 year old thread!! :laugh:

I slammed my finger in the door, not once, but twice!! And that was perhaps the most painful things I have ever endured. Both times I ended up going to the hospital to get one drilled, and the other had the pressure released with a small laser that burnt a hole through my fingernail. I just couldn't imagine doing similar with the chestnuts, having them develop "pressure" and having to go to the hospital to have that pressure released! Oh man!!

Abbey Marie
05-26-2018, 11:21 AM
Sweet, necroposting a 10 year old thread!! :laugh:

I slammed my finger in the door, not once, but twice!! And that was perhaps the most painful things I have ever endured. Both times I ended up going to the hospital to get one drilled, and the other had the pressure released with a small laser that burnt a hole through my fingernail. I just couldn't imagine doing similar with the chestnuts, having them develop "pressure" and having to go to the hospital to have that pressure released! Oh man!!

Girl’s gotta do whatever it takes!

Russ
05-26-2018, 12:14 PM
A 73-year-old nudist guy? He must be tripping over himself every other step he takes!

:banana:(not sure why I added this icon - it just seems strangely appropriate)

Abbey Marie
05-26-2018, 12:18 PM
The Perils of the Pendulous Pair

Russ
05-26-2018, 12:19 PM
Maybe car safety tests from now on should include a "73-year-old nudist shutting the car door with his butt" safety test. I know if I were a 73-year-old car buyer, I would want to know!

(might be difficult to find 73-year-old nudist testers, though)

aboutime
05-28-2018, 08:53 PM
https://www.sbs.com.au/news/sites/sbs.com.au.news/files/pain_web_1280x720.jpg

Gunny
05-28-2018, 09:50 PM
A 73-year-old nudist guy? He must be tripping over himself every other step he takes!

:banana:(not sure why I added this icon - it just seems strangely appropriate)73 years old probably DOES explain how he managed to slam a car door on them. I'm having a hard time picturing that as a physical possibility. Seems to me one would have to put some serious effort into getting the nads in position for such a feat.

Just sayin'

LongTermGuy
05-28-2018, 10:36 PM
His testies must be 2 feet long....Proof that stuff sags A LOT when you get old.:laugh: