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View Full Version : How's This For A Dilemma?



Kathianne
02-20-2013, 03:35 PM
Ewww!

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/02/dear_prudence_my_wife_and_i_came_from_the_same_spe rm_donor.html


Q. Nasty Surprise: When my wife and I met in college, the attraction was immediate, and we quickly became inseparable. We had a number of things in common, we came from the same large metropolitan area, and we both wanted to return there after school, so everything was very natural between us. We married soon after graduation, moved back closer to our families, and had three children by the time we were 30. We were both born to lesbians, she to a couple, and me to a single woman. She had sought out her biological father as soon as she turned 18, as the sperm bank her parents used allowed contact once the children were 18 if both parties consented. I never was interested in learning about that for myself, but she felt we were cheating our future children by not learning everything we could about my past, too. Well, our anniversary is coming up and I decided to go ahead and, as a present to my wife, see if my biological father was interested in contact as well. He was, and even though our parents had used different sperm banks, it appears so did our father, as he is the same person. On the one hand, I love my wife more than I can say, and logically, done is done, we already have children. I have had a vasectomy, so we won't be having any more, so perhaps there is no harm in continuing as we are. But, I can't help but think "This is my sister" every time I look at her now. I haven't said anything to her yet, and I don't know if I should or not. Where do I go from here? I am tempted to burn everything I got from the sperm bank and just try to forget it all, but I'm not sure if I can. Please help me figure out where to go from here.

How would you advise? Go to link to see 'Dear Prudence's' response.

jimnyc
02-20-2013, 04:33 PM
Nature has a way of correcting itself, or at least getting revenge!

If I were them, I would both go and greet dear old Dad and tell it like it is. Man, imagine his face when he finds out his daughters are married to one another!

Robert A Whit
02-20-2013, 04:44 PM
Ewww!

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/02/dear_prudence_my_wife_and_i_came_from_the_same_spe rm_donor.html



How would you advise? Go to link to see 'Dear Prudence's' response.

Stay married. Not even a close call.

At least they are not homosexuals.

jimnyc
02-20-2013, 04:47 PM
I had to re-read. I thought it was 2 lesbians who later found out they were both daughters of the same man. My bad!

Robert A Whit
02-20-2013, 04:49 PM
Nature has a way of correcting itself, or at least getting revenge!

If I were them, I would both go and greet dear old Dad and tell it like it is. Man, imagine his face when he finds out his daughters are married to one another!

First time I ever heard that a daughter had a vasectomy. LMAO

jimnyc
02-20-2013, 04:53 PM
First time I ever heard that a daughter had a vasectomy. LMAO

Give it time, give it time. We have transgendered and people wanting to lop their parts off and replace them. We've had a pregnant man. Only a matter of time before we have a woman with a vasectomy!

revelarts
02-20-2013, 04:57 PM
golly day what a mess.
partly sponsored by the wonders of science.
wow.
what a mess,
remarriage, infidelity and child abandonment/orphanage are the old fashion ways this type of thing happens.
That's not even getting into the lesbian bit.

he's got to tell her.
http://pics.livejournal.com/elizabeth_hoot/pic/0003etpy
or there will cause trouble in the force


<iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/5rIKIvZVj7M?feature=player_detailpage" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" width="640"></iframe>

Thunderknuckles
02-20-2013, 05:02 PM
Wow. Incredible story. There's no easy answer to this one. I think the best advice is to stay together especially because of the children but that psychological baggage is always going to be there. I don't think this is something they will be able to keep from their children in the long run. Sooner or later they will want to know their family's past and go in search for themselves.

All in all, I'd say sperm banks are more trouble than they are worth.

Robert A Whit
02-20-2013, 05:10 PM
Wow. Incredible story. There's no easy answer to this one. I think the best advice is to stay together especially because of the children but that psychological baggage is always going to be there. I don't think this is something they will be able to keep from their children in the long run. Sooner or later they will want to know their family's past and go in search for themselves.

All in all, I'd say sperm banks are more trouble than they are worth.

Right now, he is willing to burn those papers. It's been pounded into his head that it is wrong. He makes no mention of problems otherwise. He should not be dishonest to her. Apparently he is more willing to stay married than get divorced or he would have dumped his wife. Maybe he does not trust her.

But his problems are all in his head. He did not claim the kids had problems. Again, she in my opinion deserves honesty.