Today is Autism Awareness Day

[jimnyc]

A friend who has a son with autism posted about it on his page today. Another girl that I went to HS with, but haven't really talked with since, posted it as well, as apparently she too has a son with autism. I know of about 4-5 families that have an autistic child, but honestly don't know much about it myself. I guess that's why they create days like today, to create awareness about something that affects so many people.

http://i.imgur.com/SzczSno.jpg

http://www.autismspeaks.org/

[Marcus Aurelius]

My 12 year old has Aspergers, which is in the Autistic Spectrum. He's greatly improved socially now, over where he was 2 years ago. Academically, he's an honor roll student. I attribute his vast improvement to three things... IEP in school, the Boy Scouts of America, and (not to pat myself on the back) myself.

[tailfins]

These "special days" are only to make money off parents. The best thing for an Aspie/Autie is as Johnny Cash called it: "Gravel in your gut and spit in your eye".

A prime example:
These guys pay about $15 per hour:
http://aspiritech.org/

I make $50 to $60 doing similar work. The best thing you can do for an Aspie/Autie is teach them how to beat toxic people. Teach them how to file a lawsuit and how to file a discrimination complaint.

[tailfins]

A friend who has a son with autism posted about it on his page today. Another girl that I went to HS with, but haven't really talked with since, posted it as well, as apparently she too has a son with autism. I know of about 4-5 families that have an autistic child, but honestly don't know much about it myself. I guess that's why they create days like today, to create awareness about something that affects so many people.



http://www.autismspeaks.org/

I can tell you all you want to know. I have lived it every day of my life.

[jimnyc]

I can tell you all you want to know. I have lived it every day of my life.

Specifically, what is it? What causes it? How is ones life affected the most?

I think the average person hears the term a lot but aren't really aware of what it actually is and how it affects the lives of others.

[Kathianne]

Very few days go by that I don't deal with one or more autistic kids. They vary in degree of problem, but even slight is pretty difficult. This little girl is quite severe, a good day after a broken hamburger:

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=4767574347510&set=o.106027143213&type=1&theater


http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-ash4/187698_1239965839_1459105450_q.jpg (http://www.facebook.com/annakayehill)
Anna Kaye MacLean (http://www.facebook.com/annakayehill)Chili's Grill & Bar (http://www.facebook.com/Chilis)

I want to share the experience that my husband, 7 year old autistic sister and I had today at the Chili’s location in Midvale, UT. Arianna, my little sister, didn’t waste any time when our waitress, Lauren, greeted us at our table. Arianna promptly ordered her cheeseburger with pickles, french fries, and chocolate milk before Lauren could even take our drink order. Lauren smiled and told Ariann...a, “Okay! I’ll be right back with your chocolate milk!”.

When we got our food I was wondering why Arianna wouldn’t touch her cheeseburger, but was going to town on her french fries. I asked her, “Arianna are you going to eat your cheeseburger?” She calmly said, “No, I don’t want it.” Cheeseburgers, or ‘Krabby Patties’ as we sometimes call them, are her FAVORITE! So this behavior was VERY strange. So I asked her, “Why don’t you want it?”. She replied, “It’s broken. I need another one thats fixed.”

Then it dawned on me why she wasn’t eating it. It’s because it was cut in half. Being a child with autism, she has to have certain things in a particular order at all times. One slight change in her routine can change the course of the day instantly. When Lauren came back to check on us, I asked if we could order another cheeseburger and just add it to our check. She had a concerned look on her face so I explained that Arianna has autism, and that in her mind, because the cheeseburger was cut in half, she thinks its broken and can’t eat it. I told Lauren I knew it sounded silly, but if we could just order an additional one we will gladly pay for it because there was nothing wrong with the one that was originally brought out.

Lauren was so sweet and just smiled and went along with Arianna, telling her “I brought you a broken cheeseburger?! You know what, I’ll have them cook you a new one!” I loved this because rather than just taking it from the table, she actually TOLD Arianna what she was doing. While this seems insignificant, by her telling Arianna what she was doing, we avoided a melt down. The manager, Bradley Cottermole, then came to our table, kneeled down, and said to Arianna, “I heard we gave you a broken cheeseburger! I am so sorry about that! We are making you a brand new one that isn’t broken, with pickles! I’ll bring you some french fries to munch on while you’re waiting, ok?”

A couple of minutes later, Lauren arrived back at our table with cheeseburger #2. Arianna said, “OH FANK YOU! You fixded my cheeseburger!” When Lauren walked away, Arianna just sat there for a second and looked at her new burger. She looked like so deep in thought....just staring at it....then she let out a big ”OH I missed you!!” and started kissing the burger over and over again.

I showed Lauren this picture and said, “I think we glorified the cheeseburger too much!” She busted up laughing, and asked if she could go show her manager. She came back a minute later and said she showed everyone in the back kitchen area too, and that it made them all laugh and smile. I was so touched by this experience. Especially since I know people who have been asked to leave restaurants when their child with autism is being disruptive. I expected a few different things with this scenario based on past experiences, but I did NOT expect such kind and compassionate mannerisms from Lauren and Bradley. Everyone, from the hostess to the chef, played a role in what most people would think isn’t a big deal. But this entirely shaped how the rest of our day would go. I know...a cheeseburger cut in half literally could make or break our day. In this case thanks to the professionalism of the crew in Midvale, it made our day. And I’m sure Arianna brightened up at least one of the employees days with her silly little personality. Thank you.

[tailfins]

Specifically, what is it? What causes it? How is ones life affected the most?

I think the average person hears the term a lot but aren't really aware of what it actually is and how it affects the lives of others.

The cause isn't really known. In my case it might have been being a mid-40s surprise. The most common description I hear is "mindblindness". In my case my brain doesn't process embarrassment. Things like implied meanings and context get missed. I compensate by reading rules, but take them literally. It's obviously confusing when others can ignore the literal meaning of rules. The worst effect is how society punishes people for this mind blindness. Think of angry people asking "can't you take a hint"? (Answer, no). It's like society wants to deprive you of everything good in life and you have to either beat them or sneak to get what you want out of life. For example, imagine getting disciplined for not memorizing your multiplication tables. It escalates and you get sent to the pricinpal's office. You throw a fit until someone gives you some graph paper. You draw lines and answer all the exercises. It doesn't matter, because you've been labeled "learning disabled". Imagine being referred to as "creepy" or "I can't put my finger on it, but that guy's a little off". You go thorough life defeating society's attempted, ongoing punishment.

I have met some people at support groups try to compensate by being "pleasers". They become a type of social beggar. They are the ones that can't get/stay employed and wind up on SSDI. Most that I have met at support groups are atheist and Democrat. When society treats you as a cripple, you become one.

I remember when I almost washed out as a convenience store clerk. The assistant manager was training me and later told the manager I wasn't learning how to do the job. The snack truck came and she had to check in the shipment. The manager was doing paperwork. The manager came out and saw me doing everything just fine. When the assistant manager came back, the manager asked to the assistant, "I thought he wasn't learning the job". The manager then turned to me and asked what happened. I replied that people stopped "helping" me. That assistant resented me from then on for making her look bad. She put me on the night shift. However, I was the only one that balanced everything to the penny on check-out for the next shift.


Very few days go by that I don't deal with one or more autistic kids. They vary in degree of problem, but even slight is pretty difficult. This little girl is quite severe, a good day after a broken hamburger:

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=4767574347510&set=o.106027143213&type=1&theater

I can relate. I always eat my food from the most expensive to the least expensive so I waste less money if unable to finish. How would you treat a guest that wanted to know about how much each item on their plate was worth?

[Kathianne]

Tailfins, you should let people online KNOW that you have the problem. A lot of the flak you take is likely coming from your missing cues and others not knowing that.

You did a good job of explaining mild autism, the most frequent found in regular classrooms. Often misdiagnosed as ADD w/o hyperactivity, autistic kids don't pick up cues, verbal or facial. ADD kids do usually pick up the verbal and can be 'taught' to look at people's faces and read the cues. Autistic kids not so much.

However, autistic kids are often high IQ and can be taught to pick up on what is said like, "Hey, can't you take a hint?" As TF said, "No. However, if you please tell me what I did that is annoying, I'll try to stop." In actuality it's one of the reasons to put aids in classes with younger kids. The aid, if good, can help the child recognize behaviors that create problems. If diagnosed early and addressed, by middle school many mild autistic kids are not recognizable in most settings from other kids. They are that good at compensating.

Beyond mild, autism is going to be a life challenge. The tendency to go inward, not needing outside stimulation. These people seem to have their own stimulation that they cannot verbalize. Most severe autistics do not speak and as noted with the girl at Chili's, are nearly OCD in how things have to be.

[tailfins]

Tailfins, you should let people online KNOW that you have the problem. A lot of the flak you take is likely coming from your missing cues and others not knowing that. You did a good job of explaining mild autism, the most frequent found in regular classrooms. Often misdiagnosed as ADD w/o hyperactivity, autistic kids don't pick up cues, verbal or facial. ADD kids do usually pick up the verbal and can be 'taught' to look at people's faces and read the cues. Autistic kids not so much. However, autistic kids are often high IQ and can be taught to pick up on what is said like, "Hey, can't you take a hint?" As TF said, "No. However, if you please tell me what I did that is annoying, I'll try to stop." In actuality it's one of the reasons to put aids in classes with younger kids. The aid, if good, can help the child recognize behaviors that create problems. If diagnosed early and addressed, by middle school many mild autistic kids are not recognizable in most settings from other kids. They are that good at compensating. Beyond mild, autism is going to be a life challenge. The tendency to go inward, not needing outside stimulation. These people seem to have their own stimulation that they cannot verbalize. Most severe autistics do not speak and as noted with the girl at Chili's, are nearly OCD in how things have to be.

Do you care to explain why many Aspie guys date other men? Or in my case keep learning languages until asking for a date wasn't treated like "how dare you ask such a thing"? I remember a few decades back a girl in Rio told me how special she felt having a Gringo risk the dangerous slum (Roçinha) she lived in to meet her family and eat dinner.

One thing I like about God is that he doesn't punish you for taking his word literally!


Roçinha - Audio in ENGLISH

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=kpc5RVKK3f8&NR=1

[cadet]

...Often misdiagnosed as ADD w/o hyperactivity...

My two cents worth, ain't no such thing as ADD or ADHD.
Back in my day we called people with these "disorders" daydreamers and athletes.

I absolutely hate it when people assume their chile has ADD or ADHD. They often only have the "Symptoms" if they're a 10 year old kid.
Guess what! They're 10 and bored! Of course they're gonna be easily distracted and have lots of energy!

[Kathianne]

My two cents worth, ain't no such thing as ADD or ADHD.
Back in my day we called people with these "disorders" daydreamers and athletes.

I absolutely hate it when people assume their chile has ADD or ADHD. They often only have the "Symptoms" if they're a 10 year old kid.
Guess what! They're 10 and bored! Of course they're gonna be easily distracted and have lots of energy!

I'm not going to argue that. You are entitled to your prejudices. ;)

[Kathianne]

Do you care to explain why many Aspie guys date other men? Or in my case keep learning languages until asking for a date wasn't treated like "how dare you ask such a thing"? I remember a few decades back a girl in Rio told me how special she felt having a Gringo risk the dangerous slum (Roçinha) she lived in to meet her family and eat dinner.

One thing I like about God is that he doesn't punish you for taking his word literally!


Roçinha - Audio in ENGLISH

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=kpc5RVKK3f8&NR=1

I've not known this as a 'fact.' I will say that for you the woman not speaking English and being under your control has worked, for you.

Guys are more literal, so if that is what you are looking for, yeah guess I can see the attraction.

[tailfins]

Second half of above documentary

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdk7VX0YgR0

[aboutime]

To some extent. I think it's a safe guess that nearly the Entire Nation is suffering from something.

No need to give any examples. Just look at how people are treating one-another, refusing to talk, make decisions, or be held responsible for their actions, thoughts, or words that are aimed at either destroying others, or suing them because they are insulted, or offended.

[cadet]

To some extent. I think it's a safe guess that nearly the Entire Nation is suffering from something.

No need to give any examples. Just look at how people are treating one-another, refusing to talk, make decisions, or be held responsible for their actions, thoughts, or words that are aimed at either destroying others, or suing them because they are insulted, or offended.

We're all a little insane, it just makes us human.
A hypothetical person that is truly 100% sane, would be insane.

[tailfins]

To some extent. I think it's a safe guess that nearly the Entire Nation is suffering from something.

No need to give any examples. Just look at how people are treating one-another, refusing to talk, make decisions, or be held responsible for their actions, thoughts, or words that are aimed at either destroying others, or suing them because they are insulted, or offended.

You raise an interesting point. My parents died long ago and there was no one to fend for me. The path doctors and social workers would have had for me would be single making $15 per hour. Being a misfit in a hostile society led me to having a family and making six figures. The best thing parents can do is play "wing man" when their Aspie/Autie son(s) turns about 16 or so.

Wing man:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wingman_%28social%29