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logroller
06-14-2013, 01:38 AM
Chuck Norris : http://www.watchmojo.com/mobile/id/10721

honey badger: http://youtu.be/4r7wHMg5Yjg

fj1200
06-14-2013, 07:02 AM
Chuck Norris of course; he would just shape-shift into a honey badger, a la Forrest Warrior, and be a honey badger with Chuck Norris mojo... which could tear a hole in the space-time continuum so that would be bad... I'm a little conflicted here, has he been in any sci-fi movies where he could go back in time and prevent the honey badger from evolving into existence?

Marcus Aurelius
06-14-2013, 07:46 AM
The honey badger would beat itself up, out of respect for Chuck Norris.

Voted4Reagan
06-14-2013, 07:48 AM
Chuck Norris keeps Honey Badgers as his Teddy Bears...

logroller
06-14-2013, 02:51 PM
As soon as I asked I knew there would be no competition. Best case scenario, honey badger gets knocked out (sleepy bastard) and Chuck Norris leaves him alone.

Most badass fact -- a single chest hair from chuck Norris fed to a horse will immediately cause it to ejaculate a full grown horse.

Marcus Aurelius
06-14-2013, 02:54 PM
As soon as I asked I knew there would be no competition. Best case scenario, honey badger gets knocked out (sleepy bastard) and Chuck Norris leaves him alone.

Most badass fact -- a single chest hair from chuck Norris fed to a horse will immediately cause it to ejaculate a full grown horse.

I'd like to see someone 'try' to get a single chest hair from Chuck Norris. Honey Badger would have company in the morgue.

aboutime
06-14-2013, 03:29 PM
How bout some lost Chuck Norris facts from several years ago. Then..YOU DECIDE who wins!

Top Ten Chuck Norris Facts


Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris' blood type is AK+. Ass-Kicking Positive. It is compatible only with heavy construction equipment, tanks, and fighter jets.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.


Additional Chuck Norris Facts


If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre.
Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.

Marcus Aurelius
06-14-2013, 03:41 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2QfQIeLmlg&noredirect=1

aboutime
06-14-2013, 03:53 PM
honey badger 5134

gabosaurus
06-14-2013, 04:23 PM
Chuck Norris is 73. The Honey Badger is 21.
Sorry to disrupt all of your macho fantasies.

Thunderknuckles
06-14-2013, 04:57 PM
Chuck Norris is 73. The Honey Badger is 21.
Sorry to disrupt all of your macho fantasies.
I don't know Gabby. Back in '94 when he was in his 50's two men attempted to rob him with large pocket knives. Both of them ended up in the gutter, battered and bloodied with severely broken arms. I'd think twice before dancing with Norris even at 73 years of age.

jimnyc
06-14-2013, 05:14 PM
I voted for the honey badger. I watched that bastard fight a snake, get bitten, eat part of the snake, then it died, then come back to life and finish eating the snake!

Marcus Aurelius
06-14-2013, 06:49 PM
I don't know Gabby. Back in '94 when he was in his 50's two men attempted to rob him with large pocket knives. Both of them ended up in the gutter, battered and bloodied with severely broken arms. I'd think twice before dancing with Norris even at 73 years of age.

Chuck Norris is 73, I'm 49. I've had 12 years of martial arts training. I'm in pretty good shape for my age.

Chuck Norris would destroy me in a fight.

I once watched Grand Master Hwang Kee, creater of Tang Soo Do, Moo Duk Kwan, at 73, kick the living shit out of my then instructor in NJ. Said instructor was a 4th degree black belt at the time, and had studied under Hwang Kee most of his life. Never had a chance.

SassyLady
06-17-2013, 03:37 AM
If this guy can do it, then Chuck can do it!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XA8pxzawUGM&feature=endscreen

Voted4Reagan
06-17-2013, 04:58 AM
He dont need no stinking Badger

Robert A Whit
06-17-2013, 06:00 PM
Chuck Norris : http://www.watchmojo.com/mobile/id/10721

honey badger: http://youtu.be/4r7wHMg5Yjg

I voted for honey badger. Norris being smart would not hang around.