View Full Version : A U.S. Constitution for Our Dystopian Present

Tyr-Ziu Saxnot
07-24-2013, 10:58 AM
http://www.crisismagazinJuly 18, 2013 A U.S. Constitution for Our Dystopian Present (http://www.crisismagazine.com/2013/a-u-s-constitution-for-our-dystopian-present)by (http://www.crisismagazine.com/2013/a-u-s-constitution-for-our-dystopian-present)Anthony Esolen (http://www.crisismagazine.com/author/esolen)
http://www.crisismagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/U.S.-flag-distress-610x320.jpgWe the People of the United States of America, to relieve ourselves of the burdens of virtue and the nuisance of self-government, and to secure the blessings that flow from the collective and the isolated individual, do establish this Constitution.
There shall be a Supreme Court of the United States, composed of nine lawyers. All cultural questions shall be submitted to their purview, and shall be decided according to their predilections.
For the purposes of this Constitution, “the people” shall be construed as a mass of individuals, without any other political standing but that which is granted to them by their participation in the electoral process.
The Supreme Court shall be charged with expunging all religious language, imagery, allusion, reasoning, and custom from every civic space, at the level of the nation, the state, the county, the municipality, and the school. “Freedom of religion” shall signify the national government’s permission, under conditions conducing to peace and order as construed by the government, for individuals to enter houses of worship and engage in activities that have no bearing on anything of importance in political life.
All civically expressed customs regarding the sexes individually and their relationship with one another shall be overridden, at the decision of the archons of the Supreme Court.
This Constitution decrees that men and women, as such, do not exist.
The right of “the people” to bear arms shall be absorbed by an immense standing army, for national defense and meddling in the affairs of barbaric nations, by a National Guard, for disaster relief and for the enforcement of national laws against the recalcitrance of the states, by a Federal Bureau of Investigation, by a National Security Administration, by a Central Intelligence Administration, by a Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms, by a Transportation Safety Administration, and by police forces in the individual states, counties, and municipalities. The permission for individuals to bear arms shall be abridged, progressively, towards the aim of complete disarmament.
Congress shall pass no laws abridging freedom of speech. For the purposes of this Constitution, “speech” shall include pornographic pictures and films and other displays of obscenity, even those which are neither spoken nor verbal. But speech which pertains to politics may be abridged, if Congress deems that the monies spent for the venues for such speech exceed an amount which a reasonable person would determine as appropriate for the losing candidate in an election. Public institutions funded by national monies may also abridge speech, if it is determined that those in power, or those groups they favor, would be made uncomfortable by it.
Truth shall be understood as no defense for any individual speaking against a favored group. Truth shall not be demanded of any individual speaking against a group attracting the contempt of the government, or of those in the press who do the government’s bidding.
The individual shall not be subject to unreasonable search and seizure, unless one of the following conditions applies:
He is a student in a public school, with a locker.
He has filed a tax return.
He uses the internet.
He makes a telephone call.
No man shall be deprived of life or liberty except by due process of law, unless one of the following conditions applies:
He is an unborn child.
He is old and forgetful, and has pneumonia.
He wishes to take his life and to suborn the assistance of a physician.
He will probably die anyway, and he possesses organs that can be harvested.
No man shall be deprived of his property, unless the municipality seizing it deems that it can garner more tax money from a new owner.
“The Press,” for the purposes of this Constitution, shall mean any and all means of expressing any thought whatsoever, so long as the thoughts are conducive to good order and progress. The actual press shall be conglomerated into a “mass media,” that the whole nation may hear only one voice, and speak with one voice, with only small varieties in accents.
The national government shall not abridge the just freedom of action of the states. This freedom, however broad, shall be duly circumscribed. The states shall be, to the national government, as a tethered dog to its master; municipalities, as the tail to the dog; individuals, as the hairs on the tail; families, and churches, and all other entities claiming moral authority apart from or over against the national government, as fleas upon the hairs on the tail, or other noxious matter.
Inasmuch as the words “good” and “evil” are empty of meaning, except as determined by the experts denominated above, the people shall possess only such rights as the government may concede to them. All rights not expressly conceded shall be reserved to the national government, and most particularly to the archons of the Supreme Court.
If, in the course of human events, the express language of this Constitution shall be deemed as a hindrance to Progress, it shall be within the power of the Supreme Court, the Executive, and the Legislature, not to violate its sacred text, but to amend it tacitly, so that white shall be black, cold shall be hot, and free shall be bond.

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