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Kathianne
08-20-2013, 10:31 PM
Really men, go away.



My god daughter posted this on facebook, I LOL'd to tears:


Okay, so I almost died laughing reading this (seriously, I was taking a drink and started to choke lol)!!! Sounds like something that would happen to me lol!!!

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, and play ...with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: 'Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet.'

So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.

No mess, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ('Cold wax,' yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works!

OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north after checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.

Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip) ..

I inhale deeply and brace myself...RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted.

I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!

There's no hair on it.

Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. .. I am touching wax!!

I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.

Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!'
What can I do to melt the wax?

Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???

*WRONG!!!!!!!*

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.

Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!

I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter 'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!'

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, 'Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?'

She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.

YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.

What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and ... OH MY GAWD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. Its sooo painful, but I really don't care.
'IT WORKS!!

It works!!' I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair...?

THE HAIR IS STILL HERE.......ALL OF IT!

So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts.
I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color......


Now share this one and give your friends a good laugh!


And make sure you join my weight loss support here: www.facebook.com/groups/unleashtheweight (http://www.facebook.com/groups/unleashtheweight)

WiccanLiberal
08-21-2013, 04:03 PM
Men would never appreciate this one. Any woman who has ever suffered from the indignities of the processes we endure to conform to society's definition of grooming has to be howling at this one. Thank you for my belly laugh of the day.

Jeff
08-21-2013, 04:08 PM
Really men, go away.



My god daughter posted this on facebook, I LOL'd to tears:

OK I didn't read anything but I just had to post because ya said I couldn't :laugh: just like one of your students HUH

Marcus Aurelius
08-21-2013, 04:08 PM
Men would never appreciate this one. Any woman who has ever suffered from the indignities of the processes we endure to conform to society's definition of grooming has to be howling at this one. Thank you for my belly laugh of the day.

Really? YOU try shaving a scrotum.

Yeah yeah, I know... 'women only' So sue me.

Jeff
08-21-2013, 04:14 PM
Really? YOU try shaving a scrotum.

Yeah yeah, I know... 'women only' So sue me.

I have to ask, why would ya shave down there ? I mean I have heard of the man scaping deal but that just wasn't something I took very serious :laugh: no offense ya might teach me something here :laugh:

tailfins
08-21-2013, 04:16 PM
Saying "Ladies Only" on a thread is like being on a high amusement park ride and being told "don't look down".

Jeff
08-21-2013, 04:17 PM
Saying "Ladies Only" on a thread is like being on a high amusement park ride and being told "don't look down".

:laugh: I feel better now it isn't just me

logroller
08-21-2013, 04:29 PM
Kathianne is right, this is ladies-only thread. My wife read me this yesterday and could hardly contain her laughter...I couldn't relate.


I have to ask, why would ya shave down there ? I mean I have heard of the man scaping deal but that just wasn't something I took very serious :laugh: no offense ya might teach me something here :laugh:
See here bro, nobody likes an unkempt person-- but even a lice infestation can be cured with a good buzz-cut-- no need to go all prepubescent. After all, it is MAN-scaping, not boy-scaping. :thumb:

tailfins
08-21-2013, 04:33 PM
I have to ask, why would ya shave down there ? I mean I have heard of the man scaping deal but that just wasn't something I took very serious :laugh: no offense ya might teach me something here :laugh:


Anyone who says men wouldn't understand isn't married to a "Brazilian"! Irrespective now submissive the Brazilian woman, it isn't up for negotiation if you want "any". Class dismissed.

Little-Acorn
08-21-2013, 05:35 PM
OK, I didn't read it. Hilarious though it is.

Little-Acorn
08-21-2013, 05:37 PM
Men would never appreciate this one. Any woman who has ever suffered from the indignities of the processes we endure to conform to what we have deluded ourselves into believing is society's definition of grooming has to be howling at this one. Thank you for my belly laugh of the day.

Fixed it for you, WL. :coffee:

Trinity
08-21-2013, 05:58 PM
lmao that was great!! Laughed so hard I was crying, pulled my 17 year old in and had him read it, he was laughing his a$$ off too....

Larrymc
08-21-2013, 06:10 PM
Really men, go away.



My god daughter posted this on facebook, I LOL'd to tears:Unlike the other guys Kathianne, i well not read about your God daughter being stuck to the bottom of the tub, but i will look forward to the hair coloring episode.:laugh:

Jeff
08-21-2013, 10:13 PM
Kathianne is right, this is ladies-only thread. My wife read me this yesterday and could hardly contain her laughter...I couldn't relate.


See here bro, nobody likes an unkempt person-- but even a lice infestation can be cured with a good buzz-cut-- no need to go all prepubescent. After all, it is MAN-scaping, not boy-scaping. :thumb:

I guess I never got the Memo about the Man scaping thing my oldest son spoke of it one day and I was afraid he was gay :laugh: as for Lice yes I have heard of that but nope never had the luxury of having them either , guess I am just lucky or maybe not guess its how ya look at it :laugh:

Marcus Aurelius
08-21-2013, 10:23 PM
http://www.debatepolicy.com/images/debate_policy/misc/quote_icon.png Originally Posted by Marcus Aurelius http://www.debatepolicy.com/images/debate_policy/buttons/viewpost-right.png (http://www.debatepolicy.com/showthread.php?p=659433#post659433)
Really? YOU try shaving a scrotum.

Yeah yeah, I know... 'women only' So sue me.



I have to ask, why would ya shave down there ? I mean I have heard of the man scaping deal but that just wasn't something I took very serious :laugh: no offense ya might teach me something here :laugh:

Well, I could explain with an analogy that involved a wookie, but I think the explanation would violate a few board rules.

Jeff
08-21-2013, 10:25 PM
Well, I could explain with an analogy that involved a wookie, but I think the explanation would violate a few board rules.

My wife and I are reading these and Laughing like hell and she is telling me my oldest boy was doing more than man scaping he was using a razor ( now I am really wondering :laugh:)

Kathianne
08-21-2013, 11:34 PM
lmao that was great!! Laughed so hard I was crying, pulled my 17 year old in and had him read it, he was laughing his a$$ off too....

LOL! Reminds me of getting myself stuck behind washer and wall. No way out, don't ask how I did it. Couldn't move the washer, couldn't pull myself out, not enough room. Was stuck there until my husband came home and then he couldn't stop laughing. Mind you, 3 kids under 7 had been checking on me for a couple hours until he got home. Couldn't wait to tell him, "Daddy, mommy's stuck in the basement."

Or for those really old, the Dick Van Dyke show where Laura gets her big toe stuck in bathtub faucet. ;)

tailfins
08-22-2013, 07:07 AM
I guess I never got the Memo about the Man scaping thing my oldest son spoke of it one day and I was afraid he was gay :laugh: as for Lice yes I have heard of that but nope never had the luxury of having them either , guess I am just lucky or maybe not guess its how ya look at it :laugh:

Next time you watch one of those "educational" shows with naked indigenous tribes, note the lack of body hair. Since they reproduce like rabbits, one could hardly consider them homosexual.

PostmodernProphet
08-22-2013, 07:34 AM
why was this the first thread I read when I logged on?.......

Larrymc
08-22-2013, 07:38 AM
why was this the first thread I read when I logged on?.......Could it have something to do with the Tittle, "Lady's Only"

logroller
08-22-2013, 08:56 AM
I guess I never got the Memo about the Man scaping thing my oldest son spoke of it one day and I was afraid he was gay :laugh: as for Lice yes I have heard of that but nope never had the luxury of having them either , guess I am just lucky or maybe not guess its how ya look at it :laugh:
Or maybe you're hung like horse. Myself, I'll cheat an inch. ;)

Larrymc
08-22-2013, 11:12 AM
Or maybe you're hung like horse. Myself, I'll cheat an inch. ;)TMI,TMI, :laugh:

Perianne
08-22-2013, 11:19 AM
I could never get up the guts to do the waxing thing.

Can someone tell me why it is better than shaving?

jimnyc
08-22-2013, 12:23 PM
Sure would like to see a video of this! :coffee:

logroller
08-22-2013, 01:20 PM
Sure would like to see a video of this! :coffee:
It's a ladies only thread, so no wank fodder. :slap:

Jeff
08-22-2013, 02:07 PM
It's a ladies only thread, so no wank fodder. :slap:

Maybe he was wanting to see the video of the scrotum shaving :laugh:

jimnyc
08-22-2013, 02:11 PM
I could never get up the guts to do the waxing thing.

Can someone tell me why it is better than shaving?

So tell me more about you and this shaving thing that women do? Is this a reality? You can send me a private message if it makes you more comfortable! :coffee: :beer:

jimnyc
08-22-2013, 02:12 PM
It's a ladies only thread, so no wank fodder. :slap:


Maybe he was wanting to see the video of the scrotum shaving :laugh:

I hate both of you!

Trigg
08-22-2013, 02:40 PM
OMG too funny, had to drag my daughter in to read it with me :laugh:

logroller
08-22-2013, 02:56 PM
Maybe he was wanting to see the video of the scrotum shaving :laugh:

Maybe... he should petition Howie. :thumb:

Jeff
08-22-2013, 03:02 PM
Maybe... he should petition Howie. :thumb:

Dam first the US goes all Gay now DP , dam James straighten up

logroller
08-22-2013, 03:06 PM
I hate both of you!

Oh? Well now that your approval is tabled, its a like a carte blanc.

Don't you have a have thing for monkeys (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-f7A-7CsVPTU/UNItqYEvjwI/AAAAAAAAHqo/SXzvd3_UIt8/s1600/monkey-with-his-penis-in-his-mouth.jpg)?

logroller
08-22-2013, 04:24 PM
I could never get up the guts to do the waxing thing.

Can someone tell me why it is better than shaving?
It last longer, like PTSD.

Trinity
08-22-2013, 04:24 PM
I could never get up the guts to do the waxing thing.

Can someone tell me why it is better than shaving?



Waxing tends to last longer then shaving....shaving lasts a day usually with no stubble.... waxing lasts longer because you are removing the entire hair follicle from the root... js

Me personally I have seriously been considering laser hair removal....no more hair ever.

jimnyc
08-22-2013, 04:26 PM
Waxing tends to last longer then shaving....shaving lasts a day usually with no stubble.... waxing lasts longer because you are removing the entire hair follicle from the root... js

Me personally I have seriously been considering laser hair removal....no more hair ever.

I think I love you. :coffee:

Trinity
08-22-2013, 04:28 PM
I think I love you. :coffee:


:laugh: well there went my drink all over the monitor....

Trinity
08-22-2013, 04:30 PM
oh and did I mention I don't like hair.... on top of the head is fine matter of fact I prefer long or buzzed... but hair any where else.....yeah not my thing.:coffee:

jimnyc
08-22-2013, 04:33 PM
oh and did I mention I don't like hair.... on top of the head is fine matter of fact I prefer long or buzzed... but hair any where else.....yeah not my thing.:coffee:

Not my thing either!! :thumb:

logroller
08-22-2013, 05:00 PM
Dam first the US goes all Gay now DP , dam James straighten up
Straight up NAMBLA.


oh and did I mention I don't like hair.... on top of the head is fine matter of fact I prefer long or buzzed... but hair any where else.....yeah not my thing.:coffee:


Not my thing either!! :thumb:

As long as you're open to others ideals. Like some women like facial hair, some don't....just saying. Doesn't mean you gotta be all ZZ Top down there, but I like a little grass on the field.

reminds me of the most best inappropriate question I've ever heard: how do you wear your beaver, shaved or paved?

Perianne
08-23-2013, 01:38 AM
Waxing tends to last longer then shaving....shaving lasts a day usually with no stubble.... waxing lasts longer because you are removing the entire hair follicle from the root... js

Me personally I have seriously been considering laser hair removal....no more hair ever.

I shave twice per week, but I don't have much down there and what is there is blonde. Maybe brunettes are different.

SassyLady
08-23-2013, 08:11 PM
This is so funny because it probably really happened!!! On vacation one year at a swanky hotel/spa in Cozumel I thought it would be cool to do the Brazilian wax thing. Husband loved it but the only thing I had to say to him was it would be a cold day in hell before I did it again, or I might consider it if he had one at the same time. :no:

Suffice it to say ... that was the only time I did it!!!

I do, however, have my legs and eyebrows waxed every now and then. Feels OK if you have a little masochist in you. :coffee:

Gaffer
08-23-2013, 08:19 PM
Maybe this could be used to replace water boarding.

SassyLady
08-23-2013, 08:21 PM
Maybe this could be used to replace water boarding.

BRILLIANT!!!!

Laughed so hard I think I wet my pants!!!! Awesome solution!!!!
:clap::clap::clap:

SassyLady
08-23-2013, 08:27 PM
And, I guarantee that the women would survive the torture longer than the men. :slap:

Gaffer
08-23-2013, 08:34 PM
And, I guarantee that the women would survive the torture longer than the men. :slap:

Especially some hair middle eastern guy.

We'll start at his shoulders and work our way down to his toes. Save the sensitive areas for last.

Hey, it's not torture, it's hair removal.

Kathianne
08-23-2013, 08:36 PM
And, I guarantee that the women would survive the torture longer than the men. :slap: Seriously, women are heads and shoulders above men when it comes to pain, we're built for it. Can you imagine what a man would do with PMS? LOL! Childbirth? Honesty. http://www.epilio.com/jokes.nsf/ed2ca744640a679c802560e6006f016b/63b3b52ed304255d8025600d004dbce1?OpenDocument

Perianne
08-24-2013, 12:08 AM
Maybe this could be used to replace water boarding.

Have you ever seen a naked Arab? Geez, hair everywhere. Thick, black hair, even on the women. I don't think they make enough material to get the hair off an Arab.

Gaffer
08-24-2013, 08:02 AM
Have you ever seen a naked Arab? Geez, hair everywhere. Thick, black hair, even on the women. I don't think they make enough material to get the hair off an Arab.

:lol:

No I haven't, but most pictures I've seen with open shirts they have lots of hair pouring out.