PDA

View Full Version : This was great....made my day after the day I had....



Trinity
09-10-2013, 07:01 PM
So if my 17 year old ever finds out I posted this on here he will be really upset with me....probably a good thing he doesn't get on here.

I was at work today and already having a crappy day due to licenses not being renewed when they should have been. Which caused me not to have the tools I needed to do my job, had me in a foul mood until I received this phone call from my son......


(in a panicky voice) MOM can you please leave work early today....ummmm probably not we are busy and sh*t has hit the fan, why what's up?!....(continue the panicky voice)It's an emergency!!!....what?! wait!! what the heck is going on?!....(at this point I am thinking blood, broken bones, etc. etc.) He says to me "Well I woke up today and had to beat the meat, and noticed some little small bumps when I started doing it"..... Ok at this point I am like WTF!

and this is an emergency.....

So with as straight a voice as I could muster, I said ok well what do they look like? He said they look like bumps and there not there except for when I do that....about that time I walk out of my building to go to the smoking area where there just happen to be 5 guys sitting....well that was the end of that, I lost it...I was laughing so hard I was crying :laugh: ....my son says to me in a very serious tone...."are you serious are you really laughing about this?! it is not funny!!!!" Which made me laugh harder....I then gained control of myself and apologized for laughing but explained to him that having bumps on his penis does not classify as an emergency, and I am quite certain that you will live until I get home.

Keep in mind I have always promoted the use of condoms regardless of the situation since my boy's were younger. Ask my boys what the number 1 rule is? They will tell you, wrap that sh%$.


2 morals to this story

1. He has been freaked out enough by this that he has sworn to never again have sex until he is in a relationship with someone he knows very well.
2. How many 17 year olds do you know that would call their mom up at work freaking out because they have bumps on their penis.


as for the bumps I think we have figured out it is due to the lubrication he put on himself before putting on the condom...hence...he has a rash. :rolleyes:

Jeff
09-10-2013, 07:09 PM
So if my 17 year old ever finds out I posted this on here he will be really upset with me....probably a good thing he doesn't get on here.

I was at work today and already having a crappy day due to licenses not being renewed when they should have been. Which caused me not to have the tools I needed to do my job, had me in a foul mood until I received this phone call from my son......


(in a panicky voice) MOM can you please leave work early today....ummmm probably not we are busy and sh*t has hit the fan, why what's up?!....(continue the panicky voice)It's an emergency!!!....what?! wait!! what the heck is going on?!....(at this point I am thinking blood, broken bones, etc. etc.) He says to me "Well I woke up today and had to beat the meat, and noticed some little small bumps when I started doing it"..... Ok at this point I am like WTF!

and this is an emergency.....

So with as straight a voice as I could muster, I said ok well what do they look like? He said they look like bumps and there not there except for when I do that....about that time I walk out of my building to go to the smoking area where there just happen to be 5 guys sitting....well that was the end of that, I lost it...I was laughing so hard I was crying :laugh: ....my son says to me in a very serious tone...."are you serious are you really laughing about this?! it is not funny!!!!" Which made me laugh harder....I then gained control of myself and apologized for laughing but explained to him that having bumps on his penis does not classify as an emergency, and I am quite certain that you will live until I get home.

Keep in mind I have always promoted the use of condoms regardless of the situation since my boy's were younger. Ask my boys what the number 1 rule is? They will tell you, wrap that sh%$.


2 morals to this story

1. He has been freaked out enough by this that he has sworn to never again have sex until he is in a relationship with someone he knows very well.
2. How many 17 year olds do you know that would call their mom up at work freaking out because they have bumps on their penis.


as for the bumps I think we have figured out it is due to the lubrication he put on himself before putting on the condom...hence...he has a rash. :rolleyes:

:laugh: Too Funny thanks for sharing

jimnyc
09-10-2013, 07:58 PM
Oh man, poor bastard. Probably thinks his manhood is gonna fall off and ruin his life, and Mom is cracking up! :laugh2:

What did you tell your boss, ya had to bail cause the boy had wiener bumps? :laugh: :beer:

Arbo
09-10-2013, 08:43 PM
You know you did a good job raising your kids when they can come to you with something like that. I wouldn't have been able to not laugh either had it been me.

gabosaurus
09-10-2013, 11:18 PM
(in a panicky voice) MOM can you please leave work early today....ummmm probably not we are busy and sh*t has hit the fan, why what's up?!....(continue the panicky voice)It's an emergency!!!....what?! wait!! what the heck is going on?!....(at this point I am thinking blood, broken bones, etc. etc.) He says to me "Well I woke up today and had to beat the meat, and noticed some little small bumps when I started doing it"..... Ok at this point I am like WTF!


I suggest you get this meme blown up into a HUGE poster and hang it up on his wall.

http://www.manbottle.com/pictures/think.jpg

Also, check his computer to see which porn sites he is looking at it. Your husband might want to add them to his saved library.

And tell him that you are absolutely NOT washing his sheets this time. Make him do it himself. :p

Jeff
09-11-2013, 12:55 AM
I suggest you get this meme blown up into a HUGE poster and hang it up on his wall.

http://www.manbottle.com/pictures/think.jpg

Also, check his computer to see which porn sites he is looking at it. Your husband might want to add them to his saved library.

And tell him that you are absolutely NOT washing his sheets this time. Make him do it himself. :p

Gabby that seems rather cruel after all the poor kid just had the scare of a lifetime :laugh:

logroller
09-11-2013, 01:18 AM
Kid's lucky he didn't go blind. :laugh2:

Trinity
09-11-2013, 04:25 PM
Oh man, poor bastard. Probably thinks his manhood is gonna fall off and ruin his life, and Mom is cracking up! :laugh2:

What did you tell your boss, ya had to bail cause the boy had wiener bumps? :laugh: :beer:



Lmao that is exactly what he thought....and nah I told him to suck it up, it won't fall off before I get home. ;)