Political satire: Security threat seen in every deal

[reedak]

The following political satire of mine mirrors the problems of takeover, mutual investments and trade relations between the US and China.

Once upon a time a farmer and his wife were carrying an old broken table to a garbage dump at a nearby forest. On the way, they met a man who offered a high price for the table. Baffled by the apparent foolish act of the man, the couple told him they needed time to consider his offer. They told him to meet them next day at the same time and place for their answer.

After carrying the table back to their home, the couple examined it thoroughly but found nothing special and valuable about the table. They finally concluded that the table legs could pose a security threat to them. They considered the possibility of the table legs being used as offensive weapons by the buyer if he decided to rob them one day and "clubbed" them with one of the table legs.

They met the man next day and informed him of their decision to sell him the table without the legs. On hearing the funny decision, the man thought: "The tables made by the late grandfather of the farmer were much treasured by the villagers and fetched a very high price in the market. I should be thankful to the couple for removing the four table legs which are partly consumed by termites. As the table top is still in good condition, I can get a carpenter to replace the legs later on." They agreed to meet again next day at the same time and place to close the deal.

The couple went back and sawed the table legs off. Next day they carried the table top to the man and sold it to him at the mutually agreed high price.

As the man trudged home with the table top on his back, the couple went laughing all the way to the bank. They had never dreamed that they could ever make a fortune out of their garbage.

P.S. Please don’t ask me whether I am the author of this fairy tale of mine.

[jimnyc]

Where's the humor?

[reedak]

Where's the humor?

Just wait until the day when somebody pays a high price for the rubbish in your dustbin, you will find the humour. Then you may spend the whole night ransacking your dustbin and soiling your hands to ensure that you have not left your diamond, money or lottery ticket among the rubbish. That is humour. :eek:

[jimnyc]

Just wait until the day when somebody pays a high price for the rubbish in your dustbin, you will find the humour. Then you may spend the whole night ransacking your dustbin and soiling your hands to ensure that you have not left your diamond, money or lottery ticket among the rubbish. That is humour. :eek:

You spelled HUMOR wrong, you dirty foreign bastard! :) (just kidding, since you're new and don't know MY "humour yet).

I doubt anyone is dumb enough to buy what's in my dustbin. Empty Pringles can (small variety) and an empty bag of Combos. A bunch of empty water bottles too. I know they can get you like 2-5 cents in the supermarket if you return them. I think there is a broken pencil in there too. Oh, and my mouth was tired from chewing the other day, so I spit out my gum. It was "juicy fruit". Maybe I can sell that? Back in grammar school we called that "ABC gum".

[reedak]

You spelled HUMOR wrong, you dirty foreign bastard! :) (just kidding, since you're new and don't know MY "humour yet).

I doubt anyone is dumb enough to buy what's in my dustbin. Empty Pringles can (small variety) and an empty bag of Combos. A bunch of empty water bottles too. I know they can get you like 2-5 cents in the supermarket if you return them. I think there is a broken pencil in there too. Oh, and my mouth was tired from chewing the other day, so I spit out my gum. It was "juicy fruit". Maybe I can sell that? Back in grammar school we called that "ABC gum".

1. Now I know your humor is different from my humour, you filthy local bastard! :) (just kidding too, since you don't know I learn very fast).

If you swallow a $20,000 diamond and poo into a dustbin, you won't doubt anyone is dumb enough to buy what's in your dustbin.

Canadian police waiting for alleged thief to ‘pass’ swallowed diamond
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/canadian-police-waiting-alleged-thief-pass-swallowed-diamond-173521768.html

2. Talking about poo, I have found an interesting article entitled "The Cold War Spies Who Gathered Soviet Poop" at http://knowledgenuts.com/2013/09/20/the-cold-war-spies-who-gathered-soviet-poop/

(Begin excerpts)
As the Cold War really began to take shape, the military intelligence branches of the UK, the US, and France banded together to come up with a way to uncover Soviet secrets. One of their plans was known as Operation Tamarisk and consisted of having undercover spies rummage through trash cans, dumpsters, landfills, and anywhere else that might contain discarded Soviet documents.

An unintended effect of the embargo on toilet paper for the Soviets was that they began using official documents as toilet paper. Once the agents reported this back to their handlers, they were instructed to begin sifting through the Soviet sewage systems, so as not to miss any vital information. However, they discovered that the documents were not water-soluble, so the Soviets were throwing them away in special bins.

Unfortunately, these bins also served as the disposal method for amputated limbs as well. Disgusted, the agents wanted to stop the practice, but the government officials insisted they continue. In addition, they were told to bring back the amputated limbs, so they could be studied and the style of shrapnel used by the Soviets could be uncovered.... (End excerpts)

Humour
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humour

American and British English spelling differences
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_and_British_English_spelling_differences#-our.2C_-or

[jimnyc]

Humour
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humour

American and British English spelling differences
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_and_British_English_spelling_differences#-our.2C_-or

I know the difference in spelling, that's why I called you a dirty foreign fucker when I saw the "different" spelling. I think there's a handful of words that are "or" in the USA and "our" elsewhere.

[reedak]

I know the difference in spelling, that's why I called you a dirty foreign fucker when I saw the "different" spelling. I think there's a handful of words that are "or" in the USA and "our" elsewhere.

Very interesting. There may come a day when your country finds it necessary to extend the unnecessary way of distinguishing itself from its old British colonial master to such words as "fucker" and "bastard". Then instead of jokingly calling you a filthy local fucker or bastard, I may have to call you a filthy local "fuckor" or "bustard". :)