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View Full Version : Political satire: But you did not die, right?



reedak
02-11-2014, 05:34 PM
As the palace was rocked by a series of aftershocks following a large earthquake in the nearby provinces, the king was forced to camp on the palace ground at a safe distance from the palace building. One morning, four days after the large earthquake, he was informed that a city mayor, a regional police chief, a businessman and a forensic expert from the worst affected areas were waiting outside his tent to report to him about the disaster situation.

Emerging sleepily from the tent, his eyes were completely wide open after the regional police chief told him: "We had a meeting with the governor and based on the government's estimates, initially there are 10,000 casualties." The king dismissed the figure of 10,000 as a baseless estimate by officers too emotional involved in the trauma. He downplayed the impact of the disaster and put the death toll between 2,000 and 2,500.

In his response to the mayor’s report that his city was almost completely devastated by the earthquake, he criticised the local officials in the city for not being fully prepared for the devastation caused by the earthquake.

Reiterating his zero-casualty policy, the king said: "I am really personally keeping an eye on everything that is happening because of my guiding principle that in calamities like this the objective should be zero casualties. We value the life of every citizen. The citizenry should not be imperilled due to a lack of preparation.” He continued: "As your king, I am not allowed to get angry even if I am already upset. I will have to ‘stomach’ my anger.”

The businessman told him that armed men were looting the city and killing people. He told the king he was even held at gunpoint by looters. Irked by his complaint, the king snapped at him, “But you did not die, right?”

The king announced the official body-count procedure to ensure all data were accurate before releasing any figure of the dead. He told them that the bodies of the earthquake-ravaged province had to be identified and the data of each deceased had to be recorded under the following headings: region, province, number of victims, full name, status, age, gender, address, date and remarks.

The most interesting of all was the "remarks" heading, under which the “coroner” had to write down the cause of death of each deceased, for example: hit by falling tree while riding a motorcycle; fell from bridge while on their way to evacuation centre; found dead inside the tourist boat; hit by fallen branch of Gemelina tree; chest injury to concrete wall collapse; laceration with rib fracture; hit by fallen debris; toppled down by galvanized roof, etc.

“It’s because you have to make sure that there is the certification or a coroner’s report before it is made official,” the king told the forensic expert in reference to the supposed body-count procedure. However, she rebutted the king, saying he did not know what he was talking about. “Certification of a coroner’s report is needed before a body is counted?” The forensic expert asked. “Do you know, Your Majesty, that we don’t have coroners in the country?” She lashed out at the king, saying his method of slow and low casualty count had only exposed his gross incompetence and ignorance.

The forensic expert also lamented at how the king was running his government, saying he was afraid to face and confront the problem. “The one who is sitting on the throne now is allergic to bad news,” she said.

On hearing this, he almost flew into a rage. However, remembering that, as their king, he had to “stomach” his anger; he turned and went back into his tent at once without saying a word.

Drummond
02-11-2014, 06:46 PM
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Entertaining in its way, I suppose. Overly long otherwise ...

reedak
02-11-2014, 11:46 PM
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Entertaining in its way, I suppose. Overly long otherwise ...

I am glad to know that at least one reader finds it entertaining. Compared with the fairy tale about the hellhound, this story is a shortie.