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Tyr-Ziu Saxnot
04-18-2014, 07:59 AM
Here it is folks. My wife started about a month ago complaining I spend just too much time on this site posting! That I need to dial it back even more.. I strongly disagreed with that judgment and pointed out that I always go in for the full Monty and anything I do. Its just my nature.
So here is my question.
Do I indulge her unreasonable "request" (tis not a demand yet)? Or after having stated my reasonable case request that see she the light and stop asking me to change my nature??

And ladies I especially hope to read your replies if you care to make any. This is not a serious issue yet between us but if she starts nagging it could be (have been none in ten years now). I simply loathe nagging..

p.s. I yield to her often so its not like I am some kind of dictator.. Being a man that fully acknowledges that when momma ain't happy ain't nobody happy.. ;)-Tyr

fj1200
04-18-2014, 08:40 AM
OK, I'm gonna help you out here; when you say something a couple of hundred times, does the next hundred times make it more impactful?

Trigg
04-18-2014, 08:45 AM
have you taken the time to figure out how much time you spend on this site when you are home with her???

It's been a long winter, maybe with summer coming she wants more couple time.

I don't see her request as unreasonable, it's not like she's saying she doesn't want you on the site at all, just dialed back. Maybe you spend more time on here than you realize.

Gaffer
04-18-2014, 09:13 AM
I agree with Trigg. A dial back wouldn't hurt and she would feel better. You can sometimes get so engrossed in doing something here that you don't realize the time. Especially if you have a good discussion going on.

jimnyc
04-18-2014, 09:30 AM
The wife always comes first. We don't want to see you disappearing, but if the wife thought enough of it to even bring it up, it's obviously on her mind. Maybe give her some extra time, change up your posting routine to post more when she's away and less when she's around.

Or get her to join here too and make it a family affair :beer:

tailfins
04-18-2014, 11:18 AM
My wife and I have learned to stay out of each other's way. I like some things that she can't stand such as silent movies, picketing, some online games and she likes things that I can't stand such as YouTube makeup videos, online Brazilian "Mom talk", FarmVille and a couple of other things. If you want to work with your wife, do your posting while she does things you want no part of. If you want to work against her, "share" activities she can't stand.

One example for me is that this Sunday, I plan to go to Framingham to help picket the facility holding Justina Pelletier. Framingham also happens to the most Brazilianized city in America. I will drop my wife off at the rotary (traffic circle) that is full of Brazilian bakeries and stores. After the picket, I will come pick her up and we will eat at the Brazilian steakhouse.

Nukeman
04-18-2014, 12:10 PM
Just remember "Happy Wife, Happy Life". Great words to live by....:thumb:

namvet
04-18-2014, 02:05 PM
Here it is folks. My wife started about a month ago complaining I spend just too much time on this site posting! That I need to dial it back even more.. I strongly disagreed with that judgment and pointed out that I always go in for the full Monty and anything I do. Its just my nature.
So here is my question.
Do I indulge her unreasonable "request" (tis not a demand yet)? Or after having stated my reasonable case request that see she the light and stop asking me to change my nature??

And ladies I especially hope to read your replies if you care to make any. This is not a serious issue yet between us but if she starts nagging it could be (have been none in ten years now). I simply loathe nagging..

p.s. I yield to her often so its not like I am some kind of dictator.. Being a man that fully acknowledges that when momma ain't happy ain't nobody happy.. ;)-Tyr

ask her if she prefers you going out drinkin' and chasin' women. now you may have duck at whatever she throws at you but she get's the point.

Little-Acorn
04-18-2014, 03:11 PM
Any time you think you've won an argument with your wife.... you've lost.

Time to show her that she is more important to you than a web site.

Keep in mind that you're trying to demonstrate this to someone who's convinced it isn't true.

'Nuff said.

namvet
04-18-2014, 07:01 PM
take a pic of her and use it for wallpaper ???

Tyr-Ziu Saxnot
04-18-2014, 07:02 PM
ok guys and girls all are good posts and have led me to make a decision opposite of the one I had previously decided on. Previously I had decided to dig my heels in and not alter my time any more than I have already. However the going consensus here is that I consider her feelings more, bite the bullet and relent. Which is not an easy choice for me since I feel its wrongly forcing me to change.

After reading the great replies I see light in being diplomatic and in proving I can not only change but also can be the ever so kind and caring guy you all have come to know me to be!;)

I see sincere and brilliant replies and the compilation of that tells me that being a hard ass about it will end up biting me right in the ass and hard!

So I took my beautiful wife out to eat her favorite meal and after that dropped her and Justin off at her friend's house where she will play mahjong until midnight. Only now after returning home to an empty house did I dare log on here. :laugh:

And whose says an old dog can't learn to jump and fetch!???

Anyways my sincere thanks to all that replied and damn it all replies were truly great. I tell ya you people here are a few cuts above the others roaming this planet!!!
I say bravo to you one and all!! --:beer:

p.s. You guys likely saved me from a few weeks in the doghouse!! As I am a stubborn old cuss at times. Just ask fj.... ;)--Tyr

namvet
04-18-2014, 07:05 PM
ok guys and girls all are good posts and have led me to make a decision opposite of the one I had previously decided on. Previously I had decided to dig my heels in and not alter my time any more than I have already. However the going consensus here is that I consider her feelings more, bite the bullet and relent. Which is not an easy choice for me since I feel its wrongly forcing me to change.

After reading the great replies I see light in being diplomatic and in proving I can not only change but also can be the ever so kind and caring guy you all have come to know me to be!;)

I see sincere and brilliant replies and the compilation of that tells me that being a hard ass about it will end up biting me right in the ass and hard!

So I took my beautiful wife out to eat her favorite meal and after that dropped her and Justin off at her friend's house where she will play mahjong until midnight. Only now after returning home to an empty house did I dare log on here. :laugh:

And whose says an old dog can't learn to jump and fetch!???

Anyways my sincere thanks to all that replied and damn it all replies were truly great. I tell ya you people here are a few cuts above the others roaming this planet!!!
I say bravo to you one and all!! --:beer:

p.s. You guys likely saved me from a few weeks in the doghouse!! As I am a stubborn old cuss at times. Just ask fj.... ;)--Tyr

thanks pal. need a divorce lawyer let me know :laugh2::laugh2:

Tyr-Ziu Saxnot
04-19-2014, 08:29 AM
All I did was take her out to eat and tell her I know you are deserving more attention baby and I will do my damndest to give it to you. She came home from the mahjong game last night early and after seeing that Justin sound asleep proceeded to rape me by waking me up from my sleep .
I had fallen asleep on the couch in our living room. She started yanking my clothes off before we even made it out of that room.
Who knew that a few sincere words was all that was needed?

Now to make good on my words I am taking her and Justin this afternoon to the movies, her favorite restaurant and shopping. I tell ya that shopping gig bores me to death but da wimmin' just adore it!!

As my pappy used to often say, "you will catch more bears using "honey" than vinegar".
I should have figured that out a month ago!!
This getting old is not all its cracked up to be.. :laugh: -Tyr

Abbey Marie
04-19-2014, 09:31 AM
Tyr, all good advice above, and I think you handled it very well so far.

I would just add that your wife might feel a tiny bit better about the time you still do spend on the board, if you mention these things:
I feel that this board is so good on covering current events, that I don't spend much time on TV news or reading a newspaper. If that is also true for you, your wife can see it as just a slightly different way of spending your "news" time. Also, I think debating helps to keep our brains sharp. Finally, at least she knows where you are and what you are doing...

Tyr-Ziu Saxnot
04-19-2014, 11:21 AM
Tyr, all good advice above, and I think you handled it very well so far.

I would just add that your wife might feel a tiny bit better about the time you still do spend on the board, if you mention these things:
I feel that this board is so good on covering current events, that I don't spend much time on TV news or reading a newspaper. If that is also true for you, your wife can see it as just a slightly different way of spending your "news" time. Also, I think debating helps to keep our brains sharp. Finally, at least she knows where you are and what you are doing...

I did gently remind her that my time here under her eyes posting is me not out and about getting into trouble. I am not out drinking, drugging , gambling or woman chasing. So she relayed to me just a little more attention is ok. Sometimes I do go into concentration mode and tune all the world out. Found out last night she mostly meant my chess playing (far more than my posting here) as I go into another world when doing that and have even kinda snapped at her when she disturbs me calculating thousands of variations.
Live and learn. Great advice from everybody that took the time to reply. I extend my sincere thanks to one and all.
I knew that a wife needs respect and attention but temporarily forgot she needed reassurances too.
My being so secure in our relationship led me to think she was just as secure. And she thought I was drifting away. haha, couldn't blast me away from that woman with dynamite. :laugh: -Tyr

Tyr-Ziu Saxnot
04-20-2014, 09:42 AM
Kept my word , took my wife and our son out to the afternoon movie yesterday , watch a movie titled --God Is Not Dead. Very good movie and my son (7 years old) talked about it in great length and detail on our trip home. Amazed me he got so very much from it !! Then after the movie I did the shopping thing (boring) with my wife and Justin having a blast(spent too much to ;)) . Then we went to the Rendevous' to eat.. All in all a great day. To top it off late last night my wife apologized for her previous irritated request for me to pay more attention to her. I told her don't worry darling ,you were right I needed to spend some more time with you and Justin. Look how great it turned out. Can not put a price on that but....here was the day's tab

Movie for three 18.00
Shopping 267.53
Eating 96.31-- 81.31 plus 15 tip(96.31)
total 381 .84

Had to explain to my wife we are not able to do this every Saturday.. ;)
A few weeks ago the tab was much larger. --Tyr

Trigg
04-20-2014, 01:04 PM
spending time with family is a blessing.

I'm glad you took the great advise and enjoyed your time with them, especially your 7yr old. They grow up way to fast and turn into teenagers who can't wait to get away from you.

p.s. if you're looking for something to do next weekend, kids that age LOVE mini golf. It's cheep also ;)

Tyr-Ziu Saxnot
04-20-2014, 08:55 PM
The wife always comes first. We don't want to see you disappearing, but if the wife thought enough of it to even bring it up, it's obviously on her mind. Maybe give her some extra time, change up your posting routine to post more when she's away and less when she's around.

Or get her to join here too and make it a family affair :beer:

I spoke to Riza about maybe joining here and posting. As of now she declines because of her
A. Not being political
B. Too busy with college courses.
C. Would most likely be my opposition!
D. And beat me at it too!!!! :laugh:
Da woman is as sharp as a razor and almost as stubborn as me. Tough as a badass hombre and takes no damn guff off of me!!
She has beaten me soundly on anything that classes as woman stuff or where female intuition gives an edge. I am man enough to admit being licked when its a fair fight.. not happy about it but do admit it..

After thinking about it I realized that my asking was me begging for grief because she jest aint no pushover!! :laugh:
A woman that damn pretty and tough as nails too is sexy as hell.;) --Tyr

Jeff
04-21-2014, 07:02 AM
All I did was take her out to eat and tell her I know you are deserving more attention baby and I will do my damndest to give it to you. She came home from the mahjong game last night early and after seeing that Justin sound asleep proceeded to rape me by waking me up from my sleep .
I had fallen asleep on the couch in our living room. She started yanking my clothes off before we even made it out of that room.
Who knew that a few sincere words was all that was needed?

Now to make good on my words I am taking her and Justin this afternoon to the movies, her favorite restaurant and shopping. I tell ya that shopping gig bores me to death but da wimmin' just adore it!!

As my pappy used to often say, "you will catch more bears using "honey" than vinegar".
I should have figured that out a month ago!!
This getting old is not all its cracked up to be.. :laugh: -Tyr


Tyr I hate nothing more than shopping and you guessed it the wife like many woman loves to do just that, so I walk in with her and then find a seat to sit down at while she shops, I admire the view while she shops and everybody is happy ;) Lots of pretty young things running around those malls :laugh:

SassyLady
04-21-2014, 09:30 PM
Tyr I hate nothing more than shopping and you guessed it the wife like many woman loves to do just that, so I walk in with her and then find a seat to sit down at while she shops, I admire the view while she shops and everybody is happy ;) Lots of pretty young things running around those malls :laugh:

I don't know about why other women want to take their men shopping, but my reasoning is it's a chance for my man to see what I like and don't like so he can make intelligent decisions about the gifts he will be giving me on those special occasions that always come up in a relationship. I like to give him several options so he can surprise me.

:cool:

SassyLady
04-21-2014, 09:31 PM
Tyr .... I'm glad you decided that your relationship with your wife and family was more important than thinking it would force you to change who you are.

Abbey Marie
04-22-2014, 09:18 AM
Shopping for clothing is better done with just other women anyway. I liken it to a trip to Pep Boys for me. It is so boring I cannot wait to get out of there. I think men feel the same way about clothing stores for women. But my husband has told me that nothing is worse for him than a trip to Michael's, so I do that one alone as well.

I do like my husband to be with me when we shop for things we will share, like furniture. And also if I can lasso him into going to antique stores with me, I love it. :cool:

Tyr-Ziu Saxnot
04-22-2014, 09:45 AM
Shopping for clothing is better done with just other women anyway. I liken it to a trip to Pep Boys for me. It is so boring I cannot wait to get out of there. I think men feel the same way about clothing stores for women. But my husband has told me that nothing is worse for him than a trip to Michael's, so I do that one alone as well.

I do like my husband to be with me when we shop for things we will share, like furniture. And also if I can lasso him into going to antique stores with me, I love it. :cool:

A great many things husband and wife should do together, even on rare occasions short shopping for her clothes treks. My wife would flat our refuse to go with me to a gun store for me to shop and I can spend hours in a really huge one. I have no problem with her refusing to do that but she doesn't reciprocate the gesture. However in our Saturday outings for family time together I just smile and act happy while she tries on about 50 different articles of clothing. And my Son Justin cracks me up with his complainings! :laugh: He often says just what I am feeling--"please mom can we just go out of this boring store." Then I being a clever diplomat caution him to "just let mom take her time son"!!--;) Then Justin gives me that knowing look--"you are selling out dad"!!
I get so tickled when he looks at me like that I laugh out loud and Riza asks "what's so funny darling"? I say covering up my part, O' just Justin's impatience.. :laugh:
And yes I remember looking at my dad like that a few times too. :laugh:

We normal men prefer to see women taking clothes off , not their buying them.;) --Tyr