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nevadamedic
06-27-2007, 04:57 AM
What do you call 4 Mexicans in quicksand?
Cuatro Cinco

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Why can't mexicans be firemen?
They can't tell the difference between jose and hose b

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How do you stop a Mexican tank?
Shoot the guy pushing it.

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Why are Mexicans so short?
They all live in basement apartments.

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How Do You Starve A Mexican?
Put Their Food Stamps In Their Work Boots.

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What do you call 100 mexicans working on a roof?
Chingos

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Juan,carlos,and antonio all jump off a cliff to see who will hit the ground first. who wins?
Society.

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What do you call mexican basketball?
Juan on Juan.

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Did you hear about the winner of the mexican beauty contest?
Me neither.

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What do you get when you cross a mexican with an octopuss?
I don't know but it could pick lettuce good.

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Why don't mexicans bbq?
The beans fall through the little holes.

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What are the first 3 words in every mexican cookbook?
steal a chicken

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Did you hear about that one mexican that went to college?
yeah.. me neither

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how do you stop a mexican from robbing your house?
put up a help-wanted sign

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What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican?
A bench can support a family

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What is it when a Mexican is taking a shower?
A miracle.

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What do you call a pool with a mexican in it?
Bean Dip.

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What do Mexicans pick in the off season?
Their nose.

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A bunch of Mexicans are running down a hill, what is going on?
Jail Break.

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What do you call a Mexican driving a BMW?
Grand Theft Auto.

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Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
Any Mexican that can run jump or swim is in the US!

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Why do Mexicans drive low riders?
They are too short to get into any other type of car.

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What is the greatest Mexican invention?
A solar powered flash light.

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Why do Mexicans re-fry their beans?
Have you seen a Mexican do anything right the first time?

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What do you do when a Mexican is riding a bike?
Chase after him, it's probably yours!

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Why are Mexicans so short?
When they're young, their parents say, "When you get bigger you have to get a good job."

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What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower?
Unemployed.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Doesn't matter, they're to short to reach the socket.

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How do you get 50 Mexicans is a phone booth?
Throw food stamps in it.

nevadamedic
06-27-2007, 04:58 AM
Why wasn't Jesus born in Mexico?

He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

nevadamedic
06-27-2007, 05:00 AM
Two Americans and a Mexican are exploring in Africa and they stumble upon a tribe. The chief of the tribe tells the explorers that they are going to get fruit shoved up their butts and if they laugh they are going to get killed. Luckly, the Chief tells them they get to pick their own fruit. The two whittes pick berries and the Chief shoves it up their butts. They both laugh their heads off. In heaven God asks them why they laughed. And the Americans reply, "The Mexican picked a watermelon."

nevadamedic
06-27-2007, 05:02 AM
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says " We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive" The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers "God Save The Queen" and jumps. The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers "Viva La France" and he also jumps. This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers "Remember the Alamo" and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.

nevadamedic
06-27-2007, 05:03 AM
A little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face. He says, "Mom, look - I'm a white boy!" His mom slaps him in the face and says, "Go show your father." He goes to his dad in the living room and says, "Look Dad, I'm a white boy." His dad slaps him hard in the face and says, "Go show your grandmother." The boy goes into his grandmother's room and say, "Mira, Abuelita, I'm a white boy." His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his mother. His mother says, "See, did you learn anything from that?" To which the boy replies, "Sure did! I have only been white for five minutes and I already hate you Mexicans!"

nevadamedic
06-27-2007, 05:04 AM
Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American, and a Mexican, and they get captured by some Amazons. The head of the tribe says to the German, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?" The German responds, "I will take oil!" So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times. When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move. The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Mexican, "What do you want on your back?" "I will take nothing!" says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch. "What will you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the American. He responds, "I'll take the Mexican."

nevadamedic
07-01-2007, 06:23 PM
Q: Why did the Mexican trade his wife in for a Portapotty?

A: The hole was smaller and it smelt better! :laugh2:

nevadamedic
07-01-2007, 06:27 PM
Q:Why does a Mexican re-fry their beans?

A:Have you seen a Mexican do anything right the first time?

nevadamedic
07-01-2007, 06:28 PM
Q:Why does a Mexican eat Tomales for Christmas?

A:So they have something to unwrap

nevadamedic
07-01-2007, 06:29 PM
Q:What are the first 3 words in the Mexican national anthem?

A: "Attention Wal-Mart shoppers."

nevadamedic
07-01-2007, 06:30 PM
Q:What are the first three words in every Mexican cookbook?

A:"Steal a chicken"

nevadamedic
07-01-2007, 06:31 PM
Q:Why did God give Mexicans noses?

A:So they'll have something to pick in the winter.

nevadamedic
07-01-2007, 06:33 PM
Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second. "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico." The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. The first guy jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, the second guy notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, the second guy isn't able catch him, he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, the second guy misses him. The first guy falls again and bounces back up. This time, he comes back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, the second guy finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?" The first guy says, "No, the cord was fine, but what the heck is a 'pinata'?"

nevadamedic
07-01-2007, 06:34 PM
Q:Why doesnt mexico have a olympic team?

A:Because every mexican that can run, jump, and swim is already across the border!

nevadamedic
07-05-2007, 12:45 PM
How do you find out the population of Mexico? Throw a quarter in the road.

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? Find out who got the quarter

nevadamedic
07-08-2007, 03:19 AM
Q:Why do people put their garbage out in clear plastic bags?

A:So mexicans can window shop.

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