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View Full Version : Her money is her money, his money is our money



tailfins
03-20-2015, 07:43 AM
http://video.foxnews.com/v/4121941632001/impact-of-women-being-the-breadwinners/

jimnyc
03-20-2015, 09:59 AM
My wife does make most financial decisions, but that's more so because I am an irresponsible dumbass and we would be broke if I were in charge. But at least we would have that 103" TV I've been wanting. :)

Tyr-Ziu Saxnot
03-20-2015, 10:02 AM
http://video.foxnews.com/v/4121941632001/impact-of-women-being-the-breadwinners/

Want to stay married? You had better come to a mutually agreed understanding on who gets final say so on the financial issues within the marriage. If that is not agreeably resolved you aren't gonna stay married.
Just as important and in the same vein is somebody has to be the top dog, as its impossible to fairly, smoothly and agreeably run any co-equal concern. Each couple must do what is best for them as there is no one way that fits all.
Most marriages end up in divorce over two things--money and infidelity.

tailfins
03-20-2015, 10:11 AM
Want to stay married? You had better come to a mutually agreed understanding on who gets final say so on the financial issues within the marriage. If that is not agreeably resolved you aren't gonna stay married.
Just as important and in the same vein is somebody has to be the top dog, as its impossible to fairly, smoothly and agreeably run any co-equal concern. Each couple must do what is best for them as there is no one way that fits all.
Most marriages end up in divorce over two things--money and infidelity.

My wife has zero interest in financial matters. She couldn't pay the bills if she wanted to. It was cool to not be questioned earlier on. I told her she is going to be in a world of pain after I die if she doesn't learn some independence. That just doesn't register.

SassyLady
03-21-2015, 09:54 PM
My ex and I had a great arrangement. We both put a proportionate percentage of our income into a joint account which was used for household expenses. We used the same formula (% from both incomes) for big ticket items (vacations, cars, etc.). What was left over after "funding" these accounts was ours to spend as we wished. Sometimes he made more money that I and sometimes I made more.

What I like about this was the ability to buy gifts for him that was not taken out of "our" money so I never felt guilty about what I spent. Never felt guilty about the money I spent on my personal care.

As for paying the bills ... we would switch every now and then just to give the other a break from the process.

Both spouses should always know the exact nature of the finances.

Jeff
03-22-2015, 07:48 AM
My wife has zero interest in financial matters. She couldn't pay the bills if she wanted to. It was cool to not be questioned earlier on. I told her she is going to be in a world of pain after I die if she doesn't learn some independence. That just doesn't register.

That is so true tf, I remember when my Grandfather passed my Grandmother didn't even know how to write a check much less anything else, how people decide to do things is up to them but it is a good idea for both to be able to do them just in case the job happens to become yours all of a sudden.

Trigg
03-22-2015, 04:08 PM
in our house I am in charge of paying the bills and keeping the budget balanced, simply because I am better at money management. But it is really whatever works best for different couples.

aboutime
03-22-2015, 04:17 PM
In today's nearly immoral society where anything counts. I really don't know how to address this; other than suggesting to couples, married, and living together.

If you are in a partnership under the same roof, where you call yourselves SIGNIFICANT OTHERS...you will lose the battle over money every time...GUARANTEED...if both of you refuse to be EQUAL partners. Which means, what is yours, is his/hers, and Vice Versa. Anything other than that, if you are HONEST with each other, will FAIL.
Call me old fashioned, or out of my mind. But maybe Just One of you WILL agree...after you see for yourself.

Tyr-Ziu Saxnot
03-23-2015, 09:43 AM
Different strokes for different folks..

My wife would kill me if I tried to hand over any of the financial decisions/responsibilities to her!!! Believe me , she rejects that even when I've tried giving her little things.
So, what make momma happy makes me happy. Although it is quite a chore to shoulder the family's financial responsibility alone.

There is no one way fits all but even the co-equal path is never truly co-equal because there will be times when both parties adamantly disagree
on doing something that simply HAS TO BE DONE.
Who decides--pulls the trigger then? Like it or not who that person is is the true manager of the family finances ..
If the buck stops with you , you are it! -Tyr

tailfins
03-23-2015, 12:40 PM
Different strokes for different folks..

My wife would kill me if I tried to hand over any of the financial decisions/responsibilities to her!!! Believe me , she rejects that even when I've tried giving her little things.
So, what make momma happy makes me happy. Although it is quite a chore to shoulder the family's financial responsibility alone.

There is no one way fits all but even the co-equal path is never truly co-equal because there will be times when both parties adamantly disagree
on doing something that simply HAS TO BE DONE.
Who decides--pulls the trigger then? Like it or not who that person is is the true manager of the family finances ..
If the buck stops with you , you are it! -Tyr


If my wife were handed the finances, she would just do nothing and let the electricity, water, internet, phone get all shut off and let the eviction notice and repossession man come.

Tyr-Ziu Saxnot
03-23-2015, 12:45 PM
If my wife were handed the finances, she would just do nothing and let the electricity, water, internet, phone get all shut off and let the eviction notice and repossession man come.

That is why the most responsible person in the marriage should call the shots- especially financially..-Tyr

aboutime
03-23-2015, 03:04 PM
Different strokes for different folks..

My wife would kill me if I tried to hand over any of the financial decisions/responsibilities to her!!! Believe me , she rejects that even when I've tried giving her little things.
So, what make momma happy makes me happy. Although it is quite a chore to shoulder the family's financial responsibility alone.

There is no one way fits all but even the co-equal path is never truly co-equal because there will be times when both parties adamantly disagree
on doing something that simply HAS TO BE DONE.
Who decides--pulls the trigger then? Like it or not who that person is is the true manager of the family finances ..
If the buck stops with you , you are it! -Tyr


Not once did I say anything about WHO should handle the finances. All I said was, that it should be a partnership where both are aware of what is taking place...in not keeping any secrets.
My wife handles all of the budget, and bill paying because She likes to do it. But she tells me, every month, where the funds are going, and who is getting paid.
It's the logical thing to do if...GOD FORBID...one of you becomes unable, due to medical, or physical reasons, to take care of what everyone has....BILLS.
If one of you must declare THIS IS MINE, and THAT IS YOURS...you really have bigger problems. And that's the truth.