View Full Version : Untitled Short Story

05-14-2015, 11:53 AM
This is part of a novel I've pecked at for years.

The moment I saw her I felt 'it'. She wore dark hair and white skin.
Her strong features and soft smile revealed confidence and humility at
the same time. Jade eyes rested upon an almond face. Precious
pink-glazed lips spread widely across with her face with each

After three weeks of walking past her espresso cart I summoned the
fortitude to conquer Everest; I asked for her name.

Another week passed before I braved a question for Anete's phone
number. That evening she and I shared a two-hour phone call.

Three days later, I met Anete for our first date - Atlantic City, New Jersey.

That night I saw her first - she wore a white summer dress - standing
on a boardwalk with vintage globe style bulbs strung high, crossing
overhead. Nearby sounds of kids and families and ocean echoed across
the dunes and buildings around us. She stood, reaching towards me with
her arms outstretched - she asked me to dance.

"There's no music" I said as I took her hands in mine, pulling us
together. She did not care. Her right arm was up around my neck and
left rested gently upon my chest as she moved. I wondered what stirred
her body as she floated before me; a marionette pulled by the strings
of an unseen, giant force.

We walked along the sand, past the noise and the ruckus. The violent
and soothing waves lapped enthusiastically against the sand at our
feet. My arm held her close, around her neck and across her shoulders.
She walked close, but relaxed with arms around my waist.

Sometimes she stumbled, using it as an excuse to fall into me a little
closer. At one point Anete dropped to the ground. I stopped to help
her up. As she rose, she ambushed me with a handful of sand to my

It was ON! Scoops of sand and bits of shell fly as we engaged in the
world's toughest sand-fight. Soaking wet already, we rinsed away the
wet sand in the ocean waters before Anete pulled me onward and upward
to the boardwalk.

I followed and she never looked back to ensure I was there. I could
FEEL her confidence from 20 feet away. Barefoot with her sandals in
her hand Anete glided across the sand and planks as if a spirit.
Approaching a hot dog vender she spoke softly "Two, please".

I secured a bench facing the Ferris wheel and Anete brought back two,
with mustard. I'm ate because I needed to eat from a biological
standpoint because watching her; walking beside her; listening to her
satisfied any OTHER demands of my body. She was a power cord plugged
into whatever mechanism fuels my heart. Not two bites in, she had a
little mustard on her cheek."You have a little...let me" I say,
dabbing MORE mustard on her opposite cheek.

We made small talk - I didn't really follow the conversation because
she talked with a dab of mustard-dimples on each cheek. I struggled to
keep from laughing. As she stood I caught her gently by her hand
before she could walk. When I removed one of the yellow blemishes on
her otherwise flawless face thus betraying my prank her eyes grew

"YOU did NOT!" I still can see the rage, embarrassment, and smile in
her eyes. I left the second dimple for later.

Hand-in-hand we continued our walk as the evening turned into night.

"I don't want you to leave." Anete confessed, as we found ourselves
back near where we began.

Standing in the on the boardwalk, in a sea of revelers and tourists -
she looked up at me and our faces moved closer. I caressed her face,
holding her preciously in front of me. Softly I moved my thumb across
her cheek removing the last dab of mustard from her face.

We inched closer still.

Seemingly, thunder and lightning exploded around us yet the night sky
was peaceful and the calm ocean licked the shore and the pillars.
Certainly, a storm approached. Our lips touched as the space between us evaporated and the lines
between our existence blurred into obscurity.

Tyr-Ziu Saxnot
05-14-2015, 02:29 PM
FFing bravooooooooooooooo!!!! :beer:--Tyr

05-14-2015, 03:17 PM
wow, thank you very much.

here's another part of the story...(next post)

05-14-2015, 03:38 PM
Day one:

Sleep escapes me and my body cries out for rest. My thoughts spin and churn. I am staring at the ceiling fan wobbling and
whirring below a cracked stucco ceiling. Light bleeds freely through the wooden shutters covering the single pain window across the room.
At midnight our room glows from the streetlights beyond and below our sancuary.

I wonder how I found myself in this place. I know my savings account paid the price - but for what luxury? A hard and lumpy mattress
beneath me, a black and white TV in front of me - I have not seen TV 'Rabbit Ears' in thiry years - and bathroom outside our door and down a hallway lined with unfinished wooden floors.

But I'm here. I'm doing this. I left the normalcy of my home for the wilds of South America. Anete and I arrived in Chile a few hours ago
after a nine hour flight from Miami to Santiago, then another 1400 miles to Punta Arenas. Planes, Trains, Taxicabs, Oh My!

Big day tomorrow. After departing Punta Arenas we will trek to Torres del Paine national park. Carrying basic supplies and 40lbs of camera
gear, I trained one solid year for this adventure. One cannot train-away pain, though. My post-Army knees might hold up however my
post-Army feet are worrying me.

Our itinerary carries promised beauty of places with names like Valley Silencio and Los Torres and unnamed paths and nooks and cliffs serving to invigorate and refresh. I gave our guides explicit instructions - this is not a race. I hope to spend a few days exploring the totality of our journey, making friends with the mats and dirt foor huts traversing the hiking trails. We carry no specific agenda except to bask in beauty as we come across it.

Speaking of beauty, Anete just rolled over and mumbled something about the time.

"Sleep, please. It's fine. I'll wake you." I say, before crossing the room to the antique refrigerator. Luckily the freezer has ice. From
the counter I pour Pisco over three small ice cubes, contained in a glass of suspect cleanliness. After a few sips I fall gently back onto
the bed as 'Sleepy head" rolls over to embrace my body and rest her head on my shoulder. She doesn't stir for the rest of the night -
except when I tickle her nose with her hair, just to watch her swat at her face. I'm awful. But she's just so damn cute.

The "cold" beverage nearly stings but brings focus back to my anticipation of the trip. I consider where I am and with whom I am. I think about
Anete, the person - not just Anete the wonderfully-perfect the love of my life. We share not luxury but the love grown around us builds comfort and richness beyond worth. I've never been more comfortable in my life.

Fresh from a very cold shower, Anete's form looks welcoming under the thin blankets. As I approached the foot of the bed I noticed one
little piglet of her left foot had escaped the bed sheets. I lifted the sheet up to her ankle and gently massaged her foot. My hands
kneading and rubbing softly and deliberately, I could not help but notice the beauty of her ankle. I placed my lips behind her ankle and
began to kiss, slowly and softly up the side of her leg.

Her leg is a roadmap of our life together.

That scar there? (kiss) that was when she hit her leg against the door of the plane during our sky-diving phase.

Up towards her knee with a soft, solid kiss. Oh! I remember this one - we were in Jamaica, and she slipped walking up a waterfall. I caught
her arm and held-fast, but a river stone broke the skin of her knee. I carried her a full mile that day - 1/4 mile to the top of the falls, then
3/4 of a mile down to the car. By the time we got to the parking area the sun was setting and I'm CONVINCED she was able to walk. (kissing
up towards her thigh now). Carrying camera gear, the remains of our picnic lunch, and a 120lb woman was difficult-enough. Camera
gear, the remains of a picnic, AND a 120lbs woman nibbling and kissing my neck for the last five hundred yards made me even more unsteady
along the narrow path. Her kiss always had a way of knocking me off my feet.

My kisses brought me across the top of her thigh as she stirred from my attention. She lifted my head and brought my face to hers with
authority and purpose and she beckoned my tongue. I opened my eyes and to see hers closed and intense with a committed brow
betraying the intensity of this expression of love and desire.

From the moment our bodies unite my conscious self disappears. Within our union of body, our spirits intertwine and merge. When I make love
to this woman I lose track of space and time. As Hemmingway said "...when you are sharing your body and heart with a great woman the
world fades away. You two are the only ones in the entire universe."

That Hemmingway...he just might be on to something.

05-14-2015, 03:45 PM
Re-reading that I see some errors, and I see inconsistencies with tense. Will have to get back at it.

Tyr-Ziu Saxnot
05-14-2015, 08:40 PM
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to dmp again.---:beer:-Tyr