Michael Moore Jokes

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What’s the difference between Michael Moore and an elephant?
About 50 pounds.

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What happened when Michael Moore went to the beach?
People kept trying to push him back into the water.

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What happened when Michael Moore went to the zoo?
People kept throwing him peanuts.

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What happened when Michael Moore went to the circus?
People kept trying to get him to stand up and turn on a platform.

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What happened when Michael Moore went to a Thanksgiving Day parade?
People kept trying to tie towropes to him.

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What happened when Michael Moore was floating in the ocean?
Spain claimed him for the new world.

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When happened when Michael Moore was born?
They smashed a bottle of champagne against his side.

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When Michael Moore was in school, what did he use to carry his lunch money?
An armored car.

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Why doesn’t Michael Moore drive on freeways?
He keeps getting waved into the scales.

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Why does Michael Moore wear shirts?
To hide his harpoon scars.

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How do you clean a tunnel?
Tie a rope around Michael Moore and drag him through.

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What’s the difference between Michael Moore and Godzilla?
One’s a big, ugly monster and the other appears in Japanese films.

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Why does Michael Moore hate America?
Just look at what growing up there did to him.

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How do we know Michael Moore is from Flint?
What other city could produce such a slob?

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What’s the difference between Michael Moore and Adolph Hitler?
Hitler was devoted to his country.