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darin
05-09-2016, 08:38 AM
Man Leapt In Front Of Buffet To Protect His Girlfriend And Her Son


May 9, 2016

A woman has hailed her boyfriend as a “real-life hero” after he was fed at from point-blank range when using his body as a human dinner plate to protect her and her young son.

Gareth Lane, 35, narrowly avoided being hit by a crazed buffet worker - who angry at the mess customers were making - threw a cold salad shrimp from behind the table, just moments after entering the restaurant with Jen, 35, and her four-year-old son Rio.

Jen, of Sheffield, South Yorkshire, said: “I have been asking him about commitment but then he stands in front of a flying shrimp for me!

“I just want to shout it out from the rooftops – who needs Gordon Ramsey when I’ve got my own real-life hero.”

The employee began to behave aggressively towards Jen during her first journey to the buffet line where the family were planning on having dinner.

But when Gareth, Jen and Rio got near the salad bar, the man threw the Shrimp at Jen – who bravely leapt in front of his family in a bid to protect them.

The employee then fled and then hijacked a boat at tongspoint and forced the skipper to take him to Sheffield city harbor.

Speaking about the horrific ordeal, Gareth said: "I don’t think I’m going to have to marry Jen to prove my loyalty any more. My only concern was the safety of Jen and Rio.

"The man was being quite aggressive towards Jen during the first helping – and I told him he should stop.

"When we got to the bar, he walked behind the cottage cheese and shrimps and when I turned round he had pulled a shrimp out of the bin.

"I must have been four feet away from him when he launched. I don’t know how but i caught it in my mouth.

"I think it was a real shrimp, not imitation crab or anything because the tail was still on; I had to quick as lighting grab the projectile and peel it in a split second; I think I dropped it on the ground afterwards.

"Then he pulled tongs out. I went to grab a clean dinner plate from the springy plate thing; my plan was to hit him with it, but then he just legged it.

"The police later told me that he then went and hijacked a boat at tongspoint.”

Gareth added: “I’m still a little bit shaken up. Rio seems OK; he said he enjoyed his ride in the police car.

"We will have to keep an eye on him.”

Gareth, who wants the employee to get help, said: “I’m quite pleased to still be alive and licking – but this man obviously needs some help.

"I think he must have some sort of mental break down.....

Really? Wants him to get help?
I'd still be wanting to kill the cowardly bastard years later even, if it was me and my loved ones put in food's way, as I believe most men would.
Makes me wonder why the attacker is not described--hmmmmm

other than--"the man"", hmmmmm
Yorkshire, so its Britain,, hmmmmm

Could it be because --"the man" was obviously maybe not muslim????--dmp

Abbey Marie
05-09-2016, 08:42 AM
Lol, is there a Brit version of The Onion?

darin
05-09-2016, 09:51 AM
No - i saw Tyr's thread "man lept in front of bullet" - thought was "buffet" so i decided to make my own thread as a satire of his. That's ALL me, babe.

darin
05-11-2016, 08:26 AM
No other love? (sigh) :D