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Tyr-Ziu Saxnot
12-22-2016, 03:17 PM
Rewritten today, to celebrate the Hope that Christmas brings and the true Blessings we sometimes fail to see..
EDITED-- THREE STANZAS TOTALLY REPLACED AND ONE MORE STANZA ADDED.


A Christmas Poem, To remind us that blessings are fruits of faith and hope!
We need but to open our eyes!--Tyr



The poem,


Christmas Day, From Tear-Stained Window She Wept

Looking out the window, trees very bare
she stood alone, with dirty, unwashed hair
Nobody there to gift her big, sweet smiles
floor filthy with all its large broken tiles

Outside were people rushing to and fro
nobody she could ever dare to know
They all dressed in the wealthiest fashions
they seemed so full of life, cheerful passions

What could she, an abandoned orphan do
living alone in this dirty caged zoo
As she twisted her matted, dirty hair
she wept alone, knowing that none would care

Suddenly snow came cascading on down
smile came, replacing her sad tear-stained frown
Why had this joy then her heart invaded
a voice whispered, "for this you've waited"

Next she heard old battered door slowly creak
that voice again, first she heard in a week
In came a widow, dressed in Christmas cheer
Saying, O' my brave child please have no fear

I saw window, stained from many a tear
I've returned to take you away from here
Then that sweet smile grew to its biggest yet
forgotten, her wretched clothes tear-soaked wet

As they left that sad and lonely dark place
brightest glow flushed upon her pretty face
For now she knew, what her heart had prayed for
angel to come and open that locked door

Shall we take you in for some Christmas food
get you Christmas spirit in joyful mood
With happy light now returned to her soul
her angel accomplished her greatest goal

Promised child gifted from merciful God
through faintest falling snow, homeward they plod
Into home, that had waited blessed day
grateful widow there knelt again to pray

Lord, you have given on this Christmas day
great treasure for which I can never pay
INSTEAD I SHALL TEACH THIS DEAR CHILD YOUR LOVE
she shall know you watch from heaven above


Robert J. Lindley, Dec.23rd, 1999
Recent edit, 12-22-2016

Copyright Robert Lindley | Year Posted 2016

Russ
12-29-2016, 09:34 PM
Rewritten today, to celebrate the Hope that Christmas brings and the true Blessings we sometimes fail to see..
EDITED-- THREE STANZAS TOTALLY REPLACED AND ONE MORE STANZA ADDED.


A Christmas Poem, To remind us that blessings are fruits of faith and hope!
We need but to open our eyes!--Tyr



The poem,


Christmas Day, From Tear-Stained Window She Wept

Looking out the window, trees very bare
she stood alone, with dirty, unwashed hair
Nobody there to gift her big, sweet smiles
floor filthy with all its large broken tiles

Outside were people rushing to and fro
nobody she could ever dare to know
They all dressed in the wealthiest fashions
they seemed so full of life, cheerful passions

What could she, an abandoned orphan do
living alone in this dirty caged zoo
As she twisted her matted, dirty hair
she wept alone, knowing that none would care

Suddenly snow came cascading on down
smile came, replacing her sad tear-stained frown
Why had this joy then her heart invaded
a voice whispered, "for this you've waited"

Next she heard old battered door slowly creak
that voice again, first she heard in a week
In came a widow, dressed in Christmas cheer
Saying, O' my brave child please have no fear

I saw window, stained from many a tear
I've returned to take you away from here
Then that sweet smile grew to its biggest yet
forgotten, her wretched clothes tear-soaked wet

As they left that sad and lonely dark place
brightest glow flushed upon her pretty face
For now she knew, what her heart had prayed for
angel to come and open that locked door

Shall we take you in for some Christmas food
get you Christmas spirit in joyful mood
With happy light now returned to her soul
her angel accomplished her greatest goal

Promised child gifted from merciful God
through faintest falling snow, homeward they plod
Into home, that had waited blessed day
grateful widow there knelt again to pray

Lord, you have given on this Christmas day
great treasure for which I can never pay
INSTEAD I SHALL TEACH THIS DEAR CHILD YOUR LOVE
she shall know you watch from heaven above


Robert J. Lindley, Dec.23rd, 1999
Recent edit, 12-22-2016

Copyright Robert Lindley | Year Posted 2016

Robert this is a touching and beautiful poem, and really makes me feel the spirit of Christmas. Very well done.
Which three stanzas did you replace, the last three? And do you mind if I ask why you changed them?

Tyr-Ziu Saxnot
12-30-2016, 09:49 AM
Robert this is a touching and beautiful poem, and really makes me feel the spirit of Christmas. Very well done.
Which three stanzas did you replace, the last three? And do you mind if I ask why you changed them?

Thank you my friends Russ and Balu for reading this poem- a Narrative..
I changed the 2nd, 5th and 7th stanza's.....biggest reason for the changes, was to make the flow much smoother, give more detail to the story and effect far better rhyming!
I have now thrown the old poem away and rewritten this new finished version in my private journal.
Some might have read the old and found it just fine, but I saw that it needed more!
I hope I am right, as the garbage has been hauled away, and I can not replicate the poem exactly as it once was in original first draft form(as I rarely ever memorize my poems whole).
I have already had three poets on my home poetry site, beg me not to throw any of my original poetry away!
Each one citing its a mistake. I don't know..'maybe it is....-Tyr

Note- Big problem with changing as much as I did with this poem -is when you change one stanza--it directly effects the previous and the later stanza's.. Often they too must be adjusted--if not careful you may end up re-writing the entire poem!
I have done that before but it irks the living hell out of me to do so!
I bez a stubborn old dog methinks.. :laugh:--Tyr