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Tyr-Ziu Saxnot
07-06-2017, 07:20 PM
With Five Words, You Shattered The Paradise We Made

With five words, you shattered the paradise we made
I stood in shadows and cried, cried your name.
Had it all, our love, just been a charade?
With your angry words, I saw your sad game.

In agony, I heard," I no longer love you"!
I felt faint and saw jet black clouds rising.
You cried and your sudden truth floored me too!
You beg now, my firm no, found so shocking!

Our magnificent love, you crushed like an egg shell
Yet soon, you found new joy with your lover.
I saw your deceit and that broke your spell.
No more do your bold black lies have cover!

Looking back, seeing Fate did me a great favor.
All the more, paradise's new life, I now savor!

Robert J. Lindley, 7-6-2017
(new sonnet form)
Details - Lin Sonnet TTN , (Twelve, Ten, Nine, (12,10,9)

Syllables Per Line: 12 10 10 10 0 12 10 10 10 0 12 10 10 10 0 12 12
Total # Syllables: 150
Total # Words: 126


Note: Sonnet form , Lin Sonnet TTN..

Three four verse stanzas and closing couplet in rhyme, every verse must be exactly 9 words,
Each stanza, syllable count will be (12,10,10,10), with closing couplet (12,12) as shown above with my first poem written in this new form.
Do the form perfectly and you achieve a total of 150 syllables, 126 words in 14 verses and alternate rhyme scheme of ( a-b-a-b, c-d-c-d, e-f-e-f, g-g )

THE ADDED AND INSPIRING CHALLENGE IS IN THE RESTRICTION OF EACH VERSE BEING EXACTLY NINE WORDS, NO MORE , NO LESS.
AND THE SYLLABLE COUNT AS SHOWN. (12,10,10,10) WITH A CLOSING COUPLET OF (12,12)
IN THE SONNET FORMAT.

SassyLady
07-08-2017, 02:11 AM
Powerful.

Looks really complicated. Hope the poem wasn't about you.

Tyr-Ziu Saxnot
07-11-2017, 08:17 PM
Powerful.

Looks really complicated. Hope the poem wasn't about you.

Thanks.....
ACTUALLY IT WAS ABOUT ME (OF COURSE, WITH A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF POETIC LEEWAY) BUT ALL THAT HAPPENED MANY DECADES AGO...
Now, I am blessed beyond measure with my darling wife and family my friend.-TYR