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tailfins
09-30-2017, 03:32 PM
On television, Youtube and commercials there is this meme of men sleeping on the couch or in the dog house. Then there's the "Odd Couple" where two men are told to "get out" by their wives and compliantly obey. Why would ANY man do this? Let the woman sleep on the couch or get out if she is not happy. It just seems so obvious. If a man obeys an order by his wife to "get out", he loses access to important paperwork as well as he is abandoning his children. Courts even see it this way. Yes, I know that the woman has the power to hit herself in the head with a skillet and accuse her husband of being a wife beater. Once a woman orders a man to "get out", it's important to understand this as a declaration of war and to gather evidence with that in mind.

Gunny
09-30-2017, 09:43 PM
On television, Youtube and commercials there is this meme of men sleeping on the couch or in the dog house. Then there's the "Odd Couple" where two men are told to "get out" by their wives and compliantly obey. Why would ANY man do this? Let the woman sleep on the couch or get out if she is not happy. It just seems so obvious. If a man obeys an order by his wife to "get out", he loses access to important paperwork as well as he is abandoning his children. Courts even see it this way. Yes, I know that the woman has the power to hit herself in the head with a skillet and accuse her husband of being a wife beater. Once a woman orders a man to "get out", it's important to understand this as a declaration of war and to gather evidence with that in mind.Here's a shocker for you ... it works BOTH ways. I got my stuff, the house and the kid because she abandoned the home.

Do you even have a man card? I suspect you do ... in the Mrs' apron pocket.

gabosaurus
10-01-2017, 12:31 AM
On television, Youtube and commercials there is this meme of men sleeping on the couch or in the dog house. Then there's the "Odd Couple" where two men are told to "get out" by their wives and compliantly obey. Why would ANY man do this?

Memo to tailfins: TV shows and commercials are not real life. The Odd Couple was a comedy. It was supposed to be funny. Perhaps you didn't get the message.

I know that Texas is a community property state. That means your wife could leave you tomorrow and end up with half of everything you jointly own. As the primary caretaker, your wife will get custody of your kids. And since she has the kids, she will likely get the house as well. Since you work and she doesn't, you get to pay child support and expenses.

Now you know why most men decide to sleep on the couch instead. :poke:

jimnyc
10-01-2017, 10:05 AM
On television, Youtube and commercials there is this meme of men sleeping on the couch or in the dog house. Then there's the "Odd Couple" where two men are told to "get out" by their wives and compliantly obey. Why would ANY man do this? Let the woman sleep on the couch or get out if she is not happy. It just seems so obvious. If a man obeys an order by his wife to "get out", he loses access to important paperwork as well as he is abandoning his children. Courts even see it this way. Yes, I know that the woman has the power to hit herself in the head with a skillet and accuse her husband of being a wife beater. Once a woman orders a man to "get out", it's important to understand this as a declaration of war and to gather evidence with that in mind.

It's a marriage, it takes compromise from both sides. Neither should be thinking about beatings or evidence. How about when there's a fight, and maybe even if someone ends up on the couch for the evening - the thoughts be of fixing and making up?

A declaration of war? Bad haircut boy in North Korea claims we have declared war on them. Both sound kinda nutty, IMO.

tailfins
10-01-2017, 03:40 PM
Memo to tailfins: TV shows and commercials are not real life. The Odd Couple was a comedy. It was supposed to be funny. Perhaps you didn't get the message.

I know that Texas is a community property state. That means your wife could leave you tomorrow and end up with half of everything you jointly own. As the primary caretaker, your wife will get custody of your kids. And since she has the kids, she will likely get the house as well. Since you work and she doesn't, you get to pay child support and expenses.

Now you know why most men decide to sleep on the couch instead. :poke:

Every man should be aware of that from day one and arrange the finances accordingly. An old friend from New Hampshire taught me to be a pro on that topic. His wife became frigid, about that same time he got laid off from his job and exhausted his unemployment. He cashed in his retirement and spent it on his kids, winning their favor. Once the youngest turned 18, he dumped his wife and after all that careful planning, his now ex-wife got zip, zero, nada.

Abbey
10-01-2017, 04:13 PM
Anyone who is planning ahead to that extent, deep down knows that something’s not quite right.

tailfins
10-01-2017, 04:37 PM
Anyone who is planning ahead to that extent, deep down knows that something’s not quite right.

I think it's just good sense. It evens the score in case things go bad and it removes temptation for a woman to "cash in" her husband. It's also a good approach to landlords and employers. Except for a landlord or employer the plan is to be ready to sue if they play games with your deposit or fire you, respectively. Always have a plan in any human relationship in case someone tries to screw you over. Consider the possibility of being screwed over from ANY human interaction.

Abbey
10-01-2017, 05:25 PM
I think it's just good sense. It evens the score in case things go bad and it removes temptation for a woman to "cash in" her husband. It's also a good approach to landlords and employers. Except for a landlord or employer the plan is to be ready to sue if they play games with your deposit or fire you, respectively. Always have a plan in any human relationship in case someone tries to screw you over. Consider the possibility of being screwed over from ANY human interaction.

Can't relate to this in marriage. I would never marry someone without integrity. People telegraph who they are in many ways. If somehow you read the person you wanted to marry that wrong, then you weren't paying close enough attention, or decided to only see what you wanted to see.

Oh and btw, we know very well two couples where the husband got the house and contents outright. The women got none of it. And they aren't druggies or alcoholics or anything dangerous to the kids. They were both great moms in fact.

jimnyc
10-01-2017, 05:43 PM
Can't relate to this in marriage. I would never marry someone without integrity. People telegraph who they are in many ways. If somehow you read the person you wanted to marry that wrong, then you weren't paying close enough attention, or decided to only see what you wanted to see.

Oh and btw, we know very well two couples where the husband got the house and contents outright. The women got none of it. And they aren't druggies or alcoholics or anything dangerous to the kids. They were both great moms in fact.

I don't think I need to tell anyone who know's me about my Mom, and how I felt about her. She was a great mom! Perfect in my book. :) Dad as perfect too! My parents were always there for us, for me. I can go on about each, but it's not about who did more or a contest. They were both great parents and mom's and dad's.

Still, there was only one home when it came time to divorce. Dad was awarded full primary custody and the family home. We still saw Mom every weekend, and actually whenever we felt like it since she lived mostly within walking distance. But Dad "won" in court with the house and the kiddos, and kept the car, trailer and other crap, and had to give mom some $$ in return. It all worked out just fine for our family, but I point this out to show that Dad doesn't always get screwed. Nor Mom in our instance. :) :)

gabosaurus
10-01-2017, 06:33 PM
I think it's just good sense. It evens the score in case things go bad and it removes temptation for a woman to "cash in" her husband. It's also a good approach to landlords and employers. Except for a landlord or employer the plan is to be ready to sue if they play games with your deposit or fire you, respectively. Always have a plan in any human relationship in case someone tries to screw you over. Consider the possibility of being screwed over from ANY human interaction.

So you are planning for your marriage to fail? Sounds mighty non-Christian to me. :rolleyes:
As my husband knows, I take the "til death do us part" portion of the vows very seriously. If I ever want to "cash in" my husband, it will be with a hit man, not a lawyer or accountant. :death:
If your wife knows that you are planning all these things, she already has grounds for divorce. I believe it is "spousal cruelty." Meaning that one partner treated the other in such a way that the marriage is broken and insupportable.

tailfins
10-01-2017, 07:00 PM
So you are planning for your marriage to fail? Sounds mighty non-Christian to me. :rolleyes:
As my husband knows, I take the "til death do us part" portion of the vows very seriously. If I ever want to "cash in" my husband, it will be with a hit man, not a lawyer or accountant. :death:
If your wife knows that you are planning all these things, she already has grounds for divorce. I believe it is "spousal cruelty." Meaning that one partner treated the other in such a way that the marriage is broken and insupportable.

There's nothing cruel about being judgement-proof. Actually I fear healthcare providers more than my wife. It's interesting that you consider zero net worth a form of "spousal cruelty". Don't accumulate wealth and live a rented lifestyle. Spend it as fast as you get it. I will have to tell my wife that I'm committing "spousal cruelty" next time we have a $200 dinner. She will get a kick out of it.

Gunny
10-01-2017, 09:10 PM
Memo to tailfins: TV shows and commercials are not real life. The Odd Couple was a comedy. It was supposed to be funny. Perhaps you didn't get the message.

I know that Texas is a community property state. That means your wife could leave you tomorrow and end up with half of everything you jointly own. As the primary caretaker, your wife will get custody of your kids. And since she has the kids, she will likely get the house as well. Since you work and she doesn't, you get to pay child support and expenses.

Now you know why most men decide to sleep on the couch instead. :poke:

:laugh: @ the bolded.

Correction to your knowledge of Texas law. If one of the spouses abandons home with no intention of returning, they lose.

Gunny
10-01-2017, 09:16 PM
It's a marriage, it takes compromise from both sides. Neither should be thinking about beatings or evidence. How about when there's a fight, and maybe even if someone ends up on the couch for the evening - the thoughts be of fixing and making up?

A declaration of war? Bad haircut boy in North Korea claims we have declared war on them. Both sound kinda nutty, IMO.I must be weird. SEND ME to the couch! No chick flick, no snoring or farting, no eating in the bed something crunchy during the aforementioned chick flick to ensure I can't sleep through one agonizing minute.

MAKE me go downstairs and light a fire and fall asleep to some old, GOOD B&W film without the "Paul Harvey" on the movie. "SEE YOU IN THE MORNING DEAR! HUGS! (yelling cuz she's upstairs :) )

Gunny
10-01-2017, 09:21 PM
Every man should be aware of that from day one and arrange the finances accordingly. An old friend from New Hampshire taught me to be a pro on that topic. His wife became frigid, about that same time he got laid off from his job and exhausted his unemployment. He cashed in his retirement and spent it on his kids, winning their favor. Once the youngest turned 18, he dumped his wife and after all that careful planning, his now ex-wife got zip, zero, nada.

You mean he purchased their "love". No better than a frigid wife playing control with the hoo-hah.

Gunny
10-01-2017, 09:28 PM
So you are planning for your marriage to fail? Sounds mighty non-Christian to me. :rolleyes:
As my husband knows, I take the "til death do us part" portion of the vows very seriously. If I ever want to "cash in" my husband, it will be with a hit man, not a lawyer or accountant. :death:
If your wife knows that you are planning all these things, she already has grounds for divorce. I believe it is "spousal cruelty." Meaning that one partner treated the other in such a way that the marriage is broken and insupportable.No, it sounds pointless and dumb.

If the arrangements are pre-nup, it's not spousal cruelty. No one forced anyone to sign anything. The pre-nup can be voided if you can prove coercion. Like: "sign this or no marriage". Hard to prove. Unless of course you're as bright as TF and tell everyone :laugh:.

gabosaurus
10-01-2017, 09:59 PM
There's nothing cruel about being judgement-proof. Actually I fear healthcare providers more than my wife. It's interesting that you consider zero net worth a form of "spousal cruelty". Don't accumulate wealth and live a rented lifestyle. Spend it as fast as you get it. I will have to tell my wife that I'm committing "spousal cruelty" next time we have a $200 dinner. She will get a kick out of it.

I will admit that we have never shared a $200 dinner. In fact, we very rarely eat out. I prefer to cook at home, or help my daughter cook. We don't do anything extravagant. Pretty much everything we earn is invested.
It is unfortunate that you feel the need to be so calculated in your relationship. Real love is respecting your spouse and allowing her to make her own decisions, not buying her off with expensive gifts and dinners. Treating your wife like a domestic servant rather than an equal partner in your relationship does not sound like real love to me.
Then again, my husband and I met in real life. He didn't need to buy me off the internet.

gabosaurus
10-01-2017, 10:01 PM
Correction to your knowledge of Texas law. If one of the spouses abandons home with no intention of returning, they lose.

I stand corrected. I am sure you have much more knowledge of this than I do. I was just looking it up.

Gunny
10-01-2017, 10:19 PM
I stand corrected. I am sure you have much more knowledge of this than I do. I was just looking it up.Yep. Wife left and took off to FL with everything she owned. That's abandoning the home. She gets nothing out of me. Unfortunately, I can't get a divorce out of her.

First wife pulled the same stunt in VA and it was the same. While I was busy raising kids and taking care of all the domestic crap she was "working late". At the Club. When she finally got busted, she just left the house. Then tried to take everything. The lawyer kinda changed her mind real quick. She had to take what I gave her.

gabosaurus
10-02-2017, 11:38 AM
You have detailed this before. Makes me unhappy, since you obviously deserved better. :(

jimnyc
10-02-2017, 11:53 AM
I must be weird. SEND ME to the couch! No chick flick, no snoring or farting, no eating in the bed something crunchy during the aforementioned chick flick to ensure I can't sleep through one agonizing minute.

MAKE me go downstairs and light a fire and fall asleep to some old, GOOD B&W film without the "Paul Harvey" on the movie. "SEE YOU IN THE MORNING DEAR! HUGS! (yelling cuz she's upstairs :) )

Yeah right. My wife has insomnia issues and will think nothing of turning on the Ipad and watch Netflix at 3am, just so she can turn the volume on and light up the room, because apparently it must help her sleep. Does wonders for my sleep too. :rolleyes:

The couch, the recliner, the spare bedroom.... not always bad places!!

jimnyc
10-02-2017, 12:03 PM
I will admit that we have never shared a $200 dinner. In fact, we very rarely eat out. I prefer to cook at home, or help my daughter cook. We don't do anything extravagant. Pretty much everything we earn is invested.
It is unfortunate that you feel the need to be so calculated in your relationship. Real love is respecting your spouse and allowing her to make her own decisions, not buying her off with expensive gifts and dinners. Treating your wife like a domestic servant rather than an equal partner in your relationship does not sound like real love to me.
Then again, my husband and I met in real life. He didn't need to buy me off the internet.


$200 dinner? Dang, don't get me wrong, maybe the night you get married, an anniversary.... or when there are 12 people at the table.

Otherwise? My wife shops from Freshdirect, and plans each meal. Certainly not around money, more around health, but you would think the opposite when you have a belly to keep up with and you see small portions. :laugh: She's a smart eater & shopper, and my health and wallet benefit from it.

But I'm no dummy. Sometimes the starving is too much. I always have some goodies on hand for those nights! Ok, who am I kidding, that's most nights. :)

Even my favorite favorite places, which I think are way overpriced but still fantastic food... those places can be $40-50 per plate, for the best steak in town.

We never eat out anymore. It's almost always ordering in when we don't feel like cooking.

The woman has a few secretaries at work. Every now and again she'll bark an order or 2 in my direction. Sometimes I blindly do it. Most of the time I need to remind her. :)

No "love" will be found by purchasing on the internet, nor respect. Only time together can make that happen.

You can't hurry love, no you just have to wait. Love don't come easy, it's a game of give and take! :) :) :)

Gunny
10-02-2017, 04:03 PM
You have detailed this before. Makes me unhappy, since you obviously deserved better. :(Thanks but I wasn't trying to make me the issue. Just the legal experience :) .

It isn't as bad as it used to be. When my parents got divorced in Texas, my dad got his clock cleaned and he didn't do anything to earn it. They've changed the law a tad since 1966. When my daughter went through her divorce, the idiot she was married to was getting every benefit of the doubt when he didn't deserve any. Unless you consider moving in with the girl that lived upstairs while my daughter was at her Mom's okay.

Gunny
10-02-2017, 04:08 PM
Yeah right. My wife has insomnia issues and will think nothing of turning on the Ipad and watch Netflix at 3am, just so she can turn the volume on and light up the room, because apparently it must help her sleep. Does wonders for my sleep too. :rolleyes:

The couch, the recliner, the spare bedroom.... not always bad places!!Here's mine: "You need to study for your license". I come home from work and devote and hour a day to studying for the test. She gets home around the same time, walks into the kitcchen, gets on her phone and gabs forever with her foghorn voice. But it's my fault I can't study.

And don't let it be the last two minutes of any game or movie I happen to be watching. Oh Hell NO. Daughter, granddaughters, used to be wife, AND my mom get right in line to make sure I miss it. If the doesn't work the cat will puke :laugh: But interrupt "Jphnny Loves Janey Who is Dying of Cancer?" Unfeeling brute :laugh: