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darin
11-27-2017, 04:53 AM
Seeing friends with young kids I feel like I want to be a grandfather. I just love the kids - and I really don't like kids because kids are little assholes. Over the weekend my s/o and I visited her friends with a 2 year old and I was smitten. It's really cute to see little kids speaking different languages - adds to the cuteness. But this kid was adorable. She was kind and smiling and her little voice. I really couldn't get enough - my s/o would drop hints like "See? You could have your own daughter again!" - made my stomach turn thinking about being a new father again.

But talking with the young couple (mid 30s) about the chance they have with their kid - how the father can set the standard for the little girl on what to expect - she will learn how to love men in her life based on her father's interactions with her - she will learn what to expect too! I felt like I couldn't stop giving them tips - when half the tips were things i didn't do right and the other half were things I did right and they should do right too! :)

As much as loved being around the kid, I was very glad my s/o and I got in our car and drove away with just the two of us.


Anywho - anyone else about my age (mid 40s) start feeling grandparenty like this?

Kathianne
11-27-2017, 07:48 AM
I love the grandkids, all the joy, less of the worry! ;)

High_Plains_Drifter
11-27-2017, 12:34 PM
I have a 6 year old grandson, and as much as I enjoy seeing him when they bring him, it's every bit as nice if not more to see him go home.

But then I'm not your usual grand-dad either probably. I've lived alone for 30 years now so, I like seeing EVERYONE go home... ;)

Gunny
11-27-2017, 01:08 PM
Seeing friends with young kids I feel like I want to be a grandfather. I just love the kids - and I really don't like kids because kids are little assholes. Over the weekend my s/o and I visited her friends with a 2 year old and I was smitten. It's really cute to see little kids speaking different languages - adds to the cuteness. But this kid was adorable. She was kind and smiling and her little voice. I really couldn't get enough - my s/o would drop hints like "See? You could have your own daughter again!" - made my stomach turn thinking about being a new father again.

But talking with the young couple (mid 30s) about the chance they have with their kid - how the father can set the standard for the little girl on what to expect - she will learn how to love men in her life based on her father's interactions with her - she will learn what to expect too! I felt like I couldn't stop giving them tips - when half the tips were things i didn't do right and the other half were things I did right and they should do right too! :)

As much as loved being around the kid, I was very glad my s/o and I got in our car and drove away with just the two of us.


Anywho - anyone else about my age (mid 40s) start feeling grandparenty like this?It's ALWAYS tips based on what you didn't do right. I got a LOT of THOSE :laugh:. I did the best I could, and all in all, I'd say I did alright. It's funny at times watching the daughter with the grandkids. It's a given that half the rules are going to be directly the opposite of EVERY rule your kid hated :laugh:. She's also got this thing about raising children by internet proxy. If the internet says it's what kids need, then it's right. I STRONGLY disagree and just keep my mouth shut. Her kids.

I seriously would not want a child now, and I worry for my grandchildren. Like it or not, no matter what you try and teach them, they are affected by today's society. I hated that about my daughter growing up -- that I couldn't shield her from the dumbass media and society -- and even moreso with my grandkids.

Another thought ... it's NOT the same as having kids. I have 3 grandkids and they can mess up crap WAY faster than I can clean. I remembered it being so easy when I was young :laugh:

NightTrain
11-27-2017, 02:25 PM
You know, Sharon and I talked about having a kid together... think I was 41 at the time.

It was an appealing idea until I remembered the diapers. And the Terrible Twos. What clinched the decision to not have another kid was the realization that the kid would be another icky teenager eventually when I was in my late 50s... and that sure doesn't sound like fun at all.

No, we like the idea that in 2020, we will be kid free. Love the kids, but looking forward to just the two of us being able to go do what we want, when we want - with no teenage drama. We've done our time.



Now, Grandkids on the other hand... that's a different horse altogether. I have 4 very young Grandkids now, all under 3 years old and they're wonderful! When the kid gets cranky or smelly, the little fella gets passed back to dear old mom.

Yeah, I'm digging this Grandpa stuff.

Kathianne
11-27-2017, 02:49 PM
You know, Sharon and I talked about having a kid together... think I was 41 at the time.

It was an appealing idea until I remembered the diapers. And the Terrible Twos. What clinched the decision to not have another kid was the realization that the kid would be another icky teenager eventually when I was in my late 50s... and that sure doesn't sound like fun at all.

No, we like the idea that in 2020, we will be kid free. Love the kids, but looking forward to just the two of us being able to go do what we want, when we want - with no teenage drama. We've done our time.



Now, Grandkids on the other hand... that's a different horse altogether. I have 4 very young Grandkids now, all under 3 years old and they're wonderful! When the kid gets cranky or smelly, the little fella gets passed back to dear old mom.

Yeah, I'm digging this Grandpa stuff.

You and I both, regarding the grandkids. I have one who'll be 3 in Feb, the other 4 next August. And some secret news about someone popping in around July or August, but it IS a secret. ;)

I really enjoyed my son's wedding for many reasons, one being the ex looking miserable with one 8th grader and one 6th grader. The older one seems ok, the younger one needs a shrink, badly. Then there's his wife, who's telling way too many people she can't wait to divorce him. LOL! He's now over 60 and 2 kids still not in HS.

Abbey
11-27-2017, 07:49 PM
To answer your question, no, I did not feel the urge for grandkids when I was in my mid-40s.
But I sure do now.

Side note: my nephew brought his adorable infant daughter with him to visit my Dad Friday as he was very close to passing away. Seeing him with his great-granddaughter was so life-affirming. And I kept thinking how joyous babies are because they represent hope and life even in our darkest hours.

NightTrain
11-27-2017, 08:31 PM
And I kept thinking how joyous babies are because they represent hope and life even in our darkest hours.


Yes, they really do.

Back when my oldest son was just an infant like 10 months old or so, I remember coming home after a grueling 12-hour shift... aching, exhausted and angry about something or another and as I walked into the house he looked up from where he was sitting in the middle of the living room on his blanket playing, and giving me the biggest, toothless, genuine smile. Then held his arms wide so that I'd pick him up - which was irresistible.

That smile and his joy from seeing me made all my aches, pains & bad attitude evaporate instantly. I'll never forget that.

Babies are pretty special.

SassyLady
11-28-2017, 12:49 AM
I'm a great grandmother and have 3 grandkids. This satisfies my temporary insane thought about wanting more children. As everyone else has said, when the grandchildren get cranky, or need to be changed, you can hand them back.

Kathianne
11-28-2017, 07:05 AM
I'm a great grandmother and have 3 grandkids. This satisfies my temporary insane thought about wanting more children. As everyone else has said, when the grandchildren get cranky, or need to be changed, you can hand them back.

I just can't get over that you are a great-grandma! Mind boggling!

darin
11-28-2017, 07:17 AM
She's a Great Grandma I'd Like to F__________ind some day at a coffee shop....and get to know a little :)

Kathianne
11-28-2017, 08:05 AM
She's a Great Grandma I'd Like to F__________ind some day at a coffee shop....and get to know a little :)

Honestly, couldn't find a better person. She's a keeper!

SassyLady
12-03-2017, 11:07 PM
She's a Great Grandma I'd Like to F__________ind some day at a coffee shop....and get to know a little :)

Ditto Darin .... and I love you too!