Sea Stories

[Gunny]

I know we try this every once in awhile and I am always amazed at how few responses are given. Bilgerat's thread about the pillow made think of a few :) Oh, and I don't know what the zoomies and Army call "sea stories", but just as welcome.

First one came to mind:

"Steel Beach Picnic" on the USS Peleilu in the Red Sea. We're in boots-n-utes on the non-skid, and I line up to go for a pass. The QB says "go long" :laugh: We're about 15 yards from the fantail. I'm just staring at this Cpl.

[Elessar]

I know we try this every once in awhile and I am always amazed at how few responses are given. Bilgerat's thread about the pillow made think of a few :) Oh, and I don't know what the zoomies and Army call "sea stories", but just as welcome.

First one came to mind:

"Steel Beach Picnic" on the USS Peleilu in the Red Sea. We're in boots-n-utes on the non-skid, and I line up to go for a pass. The QB says "go long" :laugh: We're about 15 yards from the fantail. I'm just staring at this Cpl.

Have Jim pin this. I am sure Bilgerat, aboutime, and I can contribute!

[Elessar]

A cocky Ensign came up to me and said "I heard you are good at knots,
splicing, and whippings".

I replied to him that I was and he asked me to prove it.
(Loved this guy. He was a star running back at the Academy,
eventually made Captain).

Told him I could tie a knot he could not untie, turned my back
and tied a surgeons knot, turned around and showed it.

He said that is easy and reached for it. When he did,
I threw it over the side and said "Now untie it"!

We laughed our butts off and he said "Got Me'.:laugh:

[Bilgerat]

Brand new, right out of the factory Ensign, assigned to the Cutter Sherman (circa 1972).

Said Ensign gets assigned to the Main Space for engineering quals, ENCM instructs him to shadow the senior Fireman as he makes his engine room rounds. FN is told to show said Ensign what to look for, but not to vary from standard operations.

We make the rounds, checking all machinery for operation, leaks, problems etc. I wipe oil up off decks where found, secure items where needed and observe the CWO4 (Eng) enter the space and move towards the control booth.

Suddenly, the Ensign waves to me and points towards the bilge space under the spinning shafts. OK, there's oil but it's not an issue. No, the Officer says it IS an issue and must be cleaned up.

I shake my head and head for the control booth, the Ensign in hot pursuit. Upon entering the booth, the Ensign DEMANDS I be placed on report for failure to comply with his orders. CWO waves his hands and asks "what order".

After the explanation is given, I am instructed to "get my ass out of the booth until further orders". Throttleman is also instructed to get a cup of coffee, leaving the Master Chief, CWO and Ensign alone in the booth.

Have you ever seen the speaker commercial where the guy sits in a chair and his hair and clothes are blown backward? That would very much describe the look of the Ensign as he received "instructions" from the CWO4 and the Master Chief. After a brief "instructional period", the CWO4 points toward the ladder leading out of the Maine Space. Ensign leaves looking pissed while I make myself VERY small.

Not small enough, the Master Chief spots me and crooks his finger, I double time it in. My story is heard. No, I never said anything derogatory to the Officer, just shook my head. The CWO4 gets on the phone with the XO and explains what happened, then heads up to the Cabin with the Master Chief. The watch Throttleman returns and just grins at me.

Story is told later by the bridge watch, the Ensign was informed by the Captain that to reenter the Main Space he would have to be accompanied by either the CWO or the Master Chief.

Me, I stayed small for the rest of that cruise :salute:

[aboutime]

This is why I proudly call myself a TIN CAN SAILOR.
Our sea stories were all business, but the greenhorns got to look for the KEYS to the engine, asking the Captain, just before we got underway.
And, of course. They were sent to look for 50 Feet of Waterline.
Main Bearing Grease.
This was my favorite ship. The USS Dahlgren DDG-43

http://icansayit.com/img/DahlDirty D.jpg

http://icansayit.com/img/cruise86-7.jpg
http://icansayit.com/img/cruise8687.jpg


http://icansayit.com/img/sailorfind.jpg

[Elessar]

After an aborted gun shoot because of a Japanese fishing fleet in the target area,
3"/50 main deck gun, the gun crew went to a post operation de-brief which is standard.

On the way down a very new Seaman Apprentice stopped me (Pointer and trigger -puller),
and Bob (the sight setter) and asked how the shoot went. Well, when that 3" went off it
would shake the entire 210ft Cutter!

I turned to Bob and said it was an excellent shoot and was glad we tested the silencer!
Bob grinned and the new kid goes "Wow! A silencer!"

I told the newbie not to say a word, that it was Top Secret. He nodded and scurried
on his way. Bob laughed and said "We've got something here"!

So it became a 'tradition' for a newbie to search for the 'silencer'. Even the C.O.
and X.O. were in on it. It was a good way for a newbie to go to all compartments, offices, and shops
seeking the 'silencer' and thus learn the layout of the ship! All E-5's and above were in on it!
It was also a good way to learn the ship when General Quarters was sounded and know the
Watch Quarter Station Bill (WQSB) for all evolutions.

I even had some Ensigns and LTjg's go on the search!:laugh:

[Gunny]

This is why I proudly call myself a TIN CAN SAILOR.
Our sea stories were all business, but the greenhorns got to look for the KEYS to the engine, asking the Captain, just before we got underway.
And, of course. They were sent to look for 50 Feet of Waterline.
Main Bearing Grease.
This was my favorite ship. The USS Dahlgren DDG-43

http://icansayit.com/img/DahlDirty D.jpg

http://icansayit.com/img/cruise86-7.jpg
http://icansayit.com/img/cruise8687.jpg


http://icansayit.com/img/sailorfind.jpgEvery supply section has a "box of grid squares" and some "TR-double-e's" :)

When I use the term "Sea Stories", I mean the off-the-wall BS that goes on. The funny stuff. Most of us don't want to remember the dead-ass serious shit much less re-tell it. I always found the stupid stuff entertaining, even when it was a real fuck-up that had to be corrected. I've always gotten the raised eyebrows for "not taking things serious enough or cracking some sarcastic, wiseass comment at the wrong time; moreso, AFTER I retired from civilians than when I was in. If I took everything as dead-ass serious as some people do, I'd long ago have been a neurotic mess (mre than I am :))

Like when on a civilian electrical job and people are freaking out about getting something done and wondering why I'm not. My resonse was always, one, you don't WANT me to freak out, and unless someone does something really stupid -- like freak out and rush a job -- everybody gets to go home at the end of the day. Meaning if no one is getting shot at or dying, I see no reason to trip out so y'all will have to melt down on your own.

And speaking of supply :) ... Last deployment, the USS Boxer, I get the Col's driver and a dumb Cpl stuck on me. So they come running up proudly behind the CP one day and "Gunny, Gunny .. guess what we got?"

I'm thinking oh shit. My two freakin' Einsteins. One's so smart he's the cream of the crop at Motor-T and can drive the COs Hummer, and the other got fired from Admin for wiping out 3 computers in a couple of months thinking he was some kind of programmer. So I bite. "What?"

Sgt (Don't remember his name) at supply gave us all these new chairs for the deployment and the Capt says we can take them. Capt's never been on deployment. Cpl's never been on deployment. 2nd trip for the Motor T Sgt. So I'm looking at these chairs, biting my tongue and arguing with myself about saying anything. Entertainment is hard to come by on float, but I DID have to end up with some live bodies, so I point out:

"Yall see those spiffy new chairs have WHEELS on them, right?"

dumb stares then "So?" :bang3:

'y'all think we're going boating on the lake, or what? What you suppose tose spiffy new chairs with the wheels are going to do the second we hit the Arctic Flow (rough seas)?"

STILL blank stares :bang3::bang3:

I finally just said y'all can bring Capt B's (I couldn't resist :)), but the rest of you will stick with the ones the boat came with so I ain't peeling your bloody asses off those bulkheads with all the exposed pipes and valves, you dumbasses.

The Capt didn't keep his chair very long. 8 days after we left port and had crossed the Arctic Flow and he finally appeared from his wardroom a REALLY pasty white :laugh: